90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 57 – Being Clear on What You Stand For

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 57: Being Clear on What We Stand For

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.”

-Maya Angelou

When we come from a place of love for ourselves, we can clearly see what we stand for. We don’t try to conform to fit into other people’s journeys. We honor ours. “Normal” is a container that we don’t belong in. We are open to serve our purpose with clarity, love, and compassion. We each have our own unique ways of giving back, paying it forward, and standing up to represent the changes we want to see in the world. None of us are going to do this the exact same way. What is important is that we are being clear on what we stand for and that we are engaging the light (love) within us, not the dark (fear) within us.

In Part I of this series I talked about the energy of against (Day 23). This is an energy that can easily blind us. This is where our fears, rage, anger, entitlement, and/or hatred can take over and take the energy away from what we are really standing for. Fear represents the dark spots within us. These are the spots that need light in order not to create toxic blocks. It’s not about the word against, but the energy that is put into the word. If we are so angry that we are using that as fuel to guide us, we are breathing darkness into the situation. We are dimming our light.

If we can step back and remember the wise words of Mother Teresa,

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We can step back, gain some perspective and thoroughly look at those feelings of against and figure out how to transform them into what we actually stand for.

Here are just a few examples:

  • I’m against racism/ I’m for treating each other as equals
  • I’m against sexual harassment/ I’m for individuals getting treated with respect
  • I’m against drugs/ I’m for individuals finding healthy ways to experience life
  • I’m against war/ I’m for finding ways to communicate through our different perspectives

Be clear on what makes you want to stand up for. Be clear by being responsible for the energy you are putting into your actions. I’m brought to tears of love and compassion when I see men and women speaking about what they stand for, but if all I can hear from the message is what their against, I stop listening and I’m done. This is one of the things that make politics difficult for me to watch. I find it harder and harder to figure out what people are standing for. One of my favorite authors, Marianne Williamson (quoted multiple times in this series) has been activist and working her way into the political scene. She first ran in California. I wondered how she was going to be able to use her powerful voice in politics. Now, she has announced that she is running for President in 2020. I listened to her speeches and I was brought to tears. I watched her interviews with very skeptical reporters, and I was brought to tears. I knew exactly what her messages represented and what she stood for.

There have been politicians on both the Republican and Democratic side who I heard the messages of what they stood for, it doesn’t matter if I believe in the same things they do, I just want to hear people’s passion for their causes without attacking others for not believing the same things or having different ideas. Every society is built from many different perspectives of truth. If we are just focusing on whether a person is from one political party or another, we can miss seeing the human standing up in front of us. This human is responsible for being the voice for many different perspectives of truth.

Think of a family, churches, religions, charities, etc. Even within a part of what a collective society of individuals who have a similar love for what is being represented aren’t going to agree with each other all the time. If we speak to each other in ways where we can clearly see where each other are coming from, we know that the person listening cares about our voice even if we don’t agree with their perspective of truth, it opens possibilities for innovative solutions. It helps leaders communicate clearly why they are choosing to do what they do.

Will everyone listen? Of course not, some people are so lost in their personal perspectives of truth they can’t hear anything outside of it. That is fear talking. We miss seeing love in action if we only are willing to see perspectives of truth that keep us contained. If a belief causes stress or for you to hate (engaging your darkness), it is a belief to think about shifting. Hate is an energy that you put out into the world and it creates more of it. You aren’t representing what you stand for by putting out that kind of energy. You are representing what you are against.

What if, instead of taking the war on drugs, we put that energy into finding solutions to how to relieve people’s pain without needing harmful medications? What if we found solutions in the schools that helped children get the tools to learn how to feel and cope with stress in a natural way? What if we taught people to feel through their emotional pain instead of suppressing it? What if we had conversations about being proactive about mental health instead of treating the problem after the addiction has already set-in? What if we brought mindfulness into all the schools? What if we taught children about how to experience natural highs? What if we taught children the importance of being the friend who watches out for the people they care about?

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When we take responsibility for our own energy that we are putting into our families, our romantic relationships, our causes, our passions, our politics, our spiritual and/or religious practices, and ourselves, we become consciously aware of if we are contributing to the light (what we stand for that represents loving action) or our darkness (the fear of what we are against). When we become responsible for the energy we put out there, we can question ourselves when we see that we are feeding our own dark energies, because whatever we put out there will come back to us. I know I’ve brought up Karma, the Law of Attraction, and religious principles that all agree. This is not about judgment—this is about energy! Energy is the boomerang that will keep coming back.

Just for Today

Write down a list of things you stand for. Check-in with yourself to see if you are representing  love or fear. Then write of list coming from a loving place of ways you can represent what you stand for by shining your light. Any time a fearful thought comes up, write it down and work through it until it can transcend into a loving action. After doing this exercise really pay attention to your energy and how you feel.

When I spend the time on this exercise, I feel better. I feel lighter, and I notice the beauty of the things around me more. It’s a pretty amazing process. I don’t question why Jesus chose to act in complete loving action no matter what others believed, because it really does create an AMAZING energy that shines an incredible light on the lives that are touched by the light inside of us. You don’t have to believe in any particular organized religion, political party, and/or lifestyle to be touched by how individuals represent loving action. We show who we are by being able to move past all the our differences and see the love within and behind the people who are following their own inner light. It really is a beautiful journey and one that has the opportunity to connect us on a deeper level.

Thank you for reading! I can only hope you hear my love through the pages I write, whether you have the same beliefs or different ones, I’m so grateful for your time.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 57 -What I Represent in the World

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 55 – How I Honor the Person I Am

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 55: How I Honor the Person I Am

Dear Self,

With every step of the self-discovery process, I gain clarity. I’m bringing attention to how I honor the person I am. I’m choosing to be accountable for the choices I’m making. This list is to help keep my energy on the level that feels good on the inside, so that I’m conscious of what I’m sending out into the world.

  • I’m aware of what happens to my energy when I project out fear, shame, blame, judgment, self-abuse, and living in the past and the future do to my lack of self-worth. I know that when I’m in a healthy place, I don’t take my fears out on others. I treat others with the same love and respect that I treat myself. I know my value and worth so I treat myself with the love and respect I deserve. I show myself love and respect by treating my body right, treating my thoughts compassionately, and giving myself the time I deserve to nurture any feelings that come up that I need time to work through. I also won’t expect anybody to give me more quality time than I give myself.
  • I’m accountable for my feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, and reactions. I am going to have feelings that feel good and ones that don’t. I’m responsible for the choices I make no matter what I’m feeling. My joy comes from within and so does my sadness. I will accept all my feelings because I know they are there to teach me something about the choices I’m making. I know I’m responsible for my thoughts, because there is always a different way I can choose to look at things. I am accountable for my perspectives of truth because they are the doorways to any path I choose. Finally, my actions and reactions are influenced by the way I’m perceiving reality. I am responsible for all the choices I make. Other people are responsible for their choices. If someone chooses to be unkind to me, that’s their business. My business is the energy I choose to put out towards them.
  • I’m very clear on the differences between love and fear. My definition of love leaves no room for cruelty under any circumstances. When I’m operating from a place of fear, I’m not capable of acting/reacting from a loving place. I will react from a place of fear, which leads to confusion and chaos within my mind, body, and soul. Feelings that come from fear, shame, blame, judgment, guilt, rage, hate, vengeance, insecurities, and/or lack of worth are not representing the love within me. It is important for me to watch these feelings as they come up so that I find a way to let love transcend them. My definition of love is:

“Love is patient; Love is kind; Love is NOT envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; It is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice in Wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” -Corinthians 13.4-13.7

  • I’m in complete acceptance that my past is over. The best thing I can do is learn from my experiences and let anything that keeps me stuck in my own darkness go. I want to be conscious to see warning signs and spot kindheartedness without confusing the two. I’m focused on healing any energy I have tied to unhealthy pieces of my past in regards to people, places, and things. I’m responsible for the negative energy I’m holding inside me and I don’t want to take old feelings out on unsuspecting people. I’m also letting go of my attachments to the unknown future. I can have goals, but it is my job to take the actions I need to take today to be the best version of me in this moment. I will leave my future open for the twists and turns so that I can enjoy the journey on this beautiful scenic route.  I’m going to be with people when I’m with them so that I can know with clarity that they are treating me the way I treat myself. I won’t put my head in the future ignoring the signs of the care for myself and others in the moment.
  • I want to be hold perspectives of truth led by love. I want to live my life from a loving place. It is my responsibility to look at my feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, and reactions to make sure they are aligned with how I want to be living.
  • I have chosen perspectives of truth that support me becoming the best version of me. My perspectives reflect living life with an abundance of love for myself and others. I choose to follow the Divine Creator’s path of love to salvation. I choose to see individuals and find connections through our capacity to love. I choose to trust that everything happens for a reason, and that every lesson comes with its blessings. I choose to share my life openly without fear, so that I give myself the opportunity connect with other loving souls. I choose to believe that whatever I feel about myself reflects out to create my reality. I choose to believe we are all students and teachers and each life has value whether life ends in the womb or at an old age. People are here as long as they are meant to be to fulfill their Divine Contract to serve humanity. Some will serve through their darkness and others through their light. I choose to believe anything that has the ability to bring out our compassion, love, empathy, humanity, and connection has authentic value.
  • I’m choosing to live in gratitude and abundance. The more I choose gratitude, the more abundant I feel. I know that I’m reflecting what I feel inside, so gratitude helps me manifest more of what I’m appreciating in my life.
  • How I’m treating myself is reflecting the way I want to be treated by others. I know that I can’t expect people to treat me better than I’m treating myself, so I’m making sure I put the time and energy to me that I deserve. I know I’m responsible for the energy that is coming back to me. If I don’t like what I’m getting, I need to check in with me to see what dark areas of myself I’m still feeding. I need to make sure that I’m showing myself that I’m deserving of time, energy, nurturing, and love.
  • My intention is to live life from a loving place and appreciate each day for the blessings that it gives me.
  • My intention in giving is to assist people uncover the best versions of themselves. I want to help others find the perspectives of truths that will bring the most love and peace into their lives. I want to serve humanity from a loving place. My intention is to increase the light shining in the world.
  • I love myself more than I ever have before. I truly believe that the more I love myself the more I’m able to connect with God’s love for me. When I see me through the eyes of love, I’m connecting deeper with the Divine, because I’m connecting through the light I was created with. The more solid I am in my own self-love, the more love I have to give and connect to others with.
  • I’m right here and right now. I want to enjoy the journey of life. I want to see each step and each miracle as it unfolds before me. When I’m not where my feet are I try to get a touch stone in nature to look at to bring me back to the moment I’m in, because when I’m not in the present, I get stressed. That is not where I want to be.
  • I’m open to try new things as they are presented to me on my path. I trust the Universe when I get signs to talk to people, read things, watch things, or do things. I want to live this life knowing I made the most out of every moment, so I’m open to learn, try, and explore life beyond my comfort zone.

Knowing these things about myself helps me enjoy my journey and be more conscious of what I’m learning.

Today I’m grateful

  1. I’m grateful for the breeze that reminded me to return to the present moment
  2. I’m grateful for the loving energy I feel from the people who I love
  3. I’m grateful for the silence on my first walk with my dog in the morning
  4. I’m grateful for today for giving me a chance to see more love in the world
  5. I’m grateful for my life’s journey

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

The list from this letter comes from today’s exercise in the 90-Day A Better Me Series. You can check it out below:

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 55 – Clarity in Self Discovery

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 55 – Clarity in Self Discovery

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 55: Clarity in Self Discovery

“What I believe makes me who I am.”

-Deepak Chopra

When we stop defining ourselves in terms of what we do, what we have, and how we were raised, we open our world up to discovering who we really are. We discover ourselves. The clearer we see ourselves the more capacity we have to shine our light.

We aren’t seeking value outside of ourselves, so our intentions don’t get confused. We don’t do things that go against the person we are. We support and take care of ourselves so that we are able to give to others authentically with no expectations of what we will get back. We project and attract the best kind of life. When our power comes from within, nobody can take it away.

Our relationships are healthier because we aren’t trying to force others to see our value. This includes our relationship with the God of our understanding. We value ourselves. We project our value. We manifest healthy individuals into our lives. Our value is reflected back to us through our relationship with them. If a person’s energy doesn’t match ours, they will fade to the background of our lives or they will be gone. I have learned what an amazing blessing this is. I know the people in my life have a reason for being there. If it’s not a pleasant experience, I say a prayer: Please help me see the lesson I’m supposed to learn so that I can grow and expand from this situation.

If I’m triggered, I do my best to dig deep to figure out what in them is triggering something in me. People are our mirrors, sometimes the ones we have the hardest time with are most like the parts of us that we don’t accept about ourselves. I’m not going to lie; I needed a narcissist and a diagnosed schizophrenic to show me how hurtful I was to myself. I feel truly blessed for all the lessoned I learned about myself in those relationships. I don’t think I would be where I am today if I didn’t go through what I did with them. I truly see all the things that I was once victimized by as my biggest blessings, because those situations are what it took me to move and shift out of my darkness. They showed me clarity in self discovery.

When we have clarity, we aren’t so hard on other people’s imperfections, because we know we have them too. We know that they have the opportunity to grow just like we do. We don’t feel the need to tear someone else down because it doesn’t contribute to our light. We also know that tearing someone else down is us showing our darkness. When we are clear, we want to shine light on the dark, not create more.

With clarity, I can clearly see that it’s none of my business what people think about me. I don’t do things to please others; I do things out of a genuine place of wanting to do it. In my romantic relationship, I am able to communicate clearly and effectively without any underlying feeling of needing him to do or be different than he is. I’m responsible for my feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions and he is responsible for his. I won’t take or accept responsibility for anything that isn’t mine. I don’t give my power away by making someone else responsible for my stuff.

I used to believe I had to fight for healthy boundaries, appreciation, my way, etc. I’ve learned through this process that the more I fought, the more stress there would be in my relationships. The problem was I wasn’t clear on who I was so I would get lost in my relationships with the men I was trying to gain value from. It was a very unhealthy way to live. I remember the constant struggle. I’m so grateful to have learned ways to expand my perspectives of truth to me less painful. Now, I’m secure in the person I am, so I’m so much more at peace.

I love the process on gaining clarity, and it is so much less stressful than how I was living my life before. Being a mom still shows me the areas I need to work on, but it truly is a gift to be able to say something like: Wow, this is really triggering me. I’m feeling an anger inside me and I don’t think it’s because my daughter didn’t do her school work like over the weekend like I told her to. Let me look at this a little deeper: she tried to blame me for her schoolwork not getting done. Blaming me for something that is not my responsibility is still a hot spot. How did I feel when we both started raising our voices? When did I feel the sensation of anger start creeping up in my body? When is the first time I remember feeling that? How can I work on myself to be a better mom to her?

I can see where there is always room to get more clarity. The talk in my head that used to be so unproductive often serves a purpose now. The blessing of blogging is that I can get out the ideas that pop into my head. That way I make room to develop and grow with them.

The more clear we are about who we are, the less people who get hurt by our projection of unworthy self. Sometimes we have no idea how much damage we are doing by putting out our fear-filled energies out into the world. The fear that comes from being unworthy can spin out of control and create a lot of chaos.  None of us our perfect, when we learn from our pasts, every step we took was necessary to get us to the moment we are in right now.

Just for Today

Answer these questions:

  • Are you aware of what living in fear, shame, blame, judgment, self-abuse, and living in the past and the future creates in your life (Days 1-30)?
  • Are you holding yourself accountable for your feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions?
  • Are you clear on the difference between love and fear (Days 32-35)?
  • Are you in acceptance (Days 36-41) of your past and the unknown future?
  • Do you want to be led by perspectives of truth (Day 42-46) led by love (light) or fear (dark)?
  • Have you chose perspectives of truth that support the life you want to be living?
  • Are you living in a place of gratitude or lack (Days 47-50)?
  • Is how you are treating yourself the way you want others treating you (Days 51-54)?
  • What is your intention on how you want to live?
  • What is your intention on how you want to give?
  • Do you love yourself (Days 56-59)?
  • Is your focus on what you can do today (Day 60)?
  • Are you willing an open to try something new to break old unhealthy patterns (Part III)?

Feel free to read and explore any of the 90-Day A Better Me Series and the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series that you have missed so far. Thank you for being on this journey with me. Let the love within you guide the way!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 55 – How I Honor the Person I Am