Feel-Good Friday Book Series: Hope for the Flowers

FEEL-GOOD FRIDAY

BOOKS THAT GAVE ME SEEDS TO THRIVE (Click link for the introduction to the series)

Today I’m going way, way back. I received this book when I was fourteen years old. I was a teen in crisis.  After getting some help, I was given Hope for the Flowers by Trina Paulus. My counselor told me to hold on to it. As you can see, I did. It’s been almost 30 years now and the book still sits on my go-to bookshelf. Hope for the Flower is the reason why I’m so connected to the butterfly transformation. I pulled the book out in preparation of my upcoming seminar, because sometimes the greatest wisdom is in the simplest of details.  

In Hope for the Flowers, Paulus follows the life of two caterpillars on their journeys. She describes separation and connection so simply that even a child can understand. She talks about finding courage when there is no way to know what is coming next. The pictures and images bring on new meaning for me with every read. For a maybe 20 minute read, it allows the reader to really think about their life choices. And hopefully inspires courage to follow that call inside us no matter how scary it is to go in a different direction. 

After re-reading the book, I saw parts that I never noticed before, or at least didn’t remember acknowledging at the time. We see what we are ready to see, when we are ready to see it. We connect and absorb the material that is important to our journeys right now. I love how this works. I hope you will feel inspired to get your copy. If you do, I would love to hear what you think in the comments below. 

Favorite Quote from Hope for the Flowers

(click on the book title to check out the book for yourself)

“You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”

-Trina Paulus

With Love and Gratitude, 

Rachael Wolff

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90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 62 -I’m MAKING the Time to CREATE the Life I WANT Today!

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 62: I’m MAKING the Time to CREATE the Life I WANT Today!

Dear Universe,

I’m making the time to create the life I want today. I trust you Universe to provide the space to help me take care of my energy and give me the time to do the things I need to do in order to work on me. I will commit specific times to do something to contribute to practices that will help me keep my energy in the best place possible. I will trust that if I need more time than what I’m giving myself that you will create the space for me.

I know that I can make the most of each moment I have or use up my energy complaining about not having time. That moment is time I have to do something different. I can choose to be grateful in that moment in time instead of being in a place of lack of time. I’m making more space as my mind is open to be creative with the energy I’m putting out there.

I’m choosing to the twists and turns of life as opportunities for me to commit my time to making the most out of the moment by seeing what I can learn and how I can grow. I’m making the time to create the life I want. Even right now, I’m choosing to write this letter to help me stay in the space of my growth and expansion. I could be choosing to watch TV or be on social media, but in this moment, this is what I made the time to do. I feel great about my decision.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for the miracle of space and time.
  2. I’m grateful for the choices I can make to give me more time.
  3. I’m grateful to the Universe that helps find me the time I need.
  4. I’m grateful to my perspectives of truth for allowing me to grow and expand.
  5. I’m grateful for the people who are brought into my life who inspire me to live my best life.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 62 – Clearing Space to Re-Create Our Lives

 

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90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 61 – I’m Ready to Rebuild My Life

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 61: I’m Ready to Rebuild My Life

Dear Self,

The time is now and I’m ready to take my journey a step further and start living it. I’m committing to do the work that it will take to rebuild my life from the place I am now. I’m ready to commit to the work it will take to get me live this journey with love, gratitude, hope and faith. I know that every step I take is an important step on this journey and I don’t want to miss it.

I’m choosing to work smart. I need to be conscious of my priorities so that I may honor them and shift them as necessary to live the life of my choosing. I’M CHOOSING! I’m responsible for the energy I put into my journey. I’m not going to blame anybody else for the energy I’m putting into it. I can choose to let fear-based energy grow and fester, or I can choose to release it and replace it with the energy I want to be going into this day, this moment. I know the energy I choose right now will affect how the lessons on my journey play out. I’m committed to choosing wisely.

I know in order to choose wisely, I have to do the work to maintain this new way of looking at life. I have to make I engage in regular practices using the new thought processes. Otherwise those fear-based ones will creep back in. I’m ready!

I’m committing to be more loving, compassionate and empathetic to myself as I transition out of fear-based actions. I will simply do the best I can and learn from the times that I choose fear over love. There will be no more creating of toxic muck by contributing to self-abuse. I’m ready to transform my life by making the choice to live it!

Let the work begin!

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for my right to choose my energy that I’m letting lead me
  2. I’m grateful for the ability shift from moment to moment .
  3. I’m grateful for making the choice to invest time into the work I need to do in order for my life to be better.
  4. I’m grateful for this journey with all it’s growing and learning.
  5. I’m grateful to feel ready to live my life from a loving place.

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 61 – Rebuilding Our Lives on a Stable Foundation

 

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90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 61 – Rebuilding Our Lives on a Stable Foundation

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 61: Rebuilding Our Lives on a Stable Foundation

 “If the house is crooked and crumbling, and the land on which it sits uneven, is it possible to make anything lie straight?”

–Katherine Boo, Behind the Beautiful Foreversp. 254

This quote is where we began on Day 2: Understanding the Journey of Awareness. We spent Part One looking at all our blocks that kept our inner foundation unstable and kept us from being satisfied with the houses we created on the unstable land. Then in Part Two: The Journey of Perspective, we worked on fixing our foundations to make them stable and worthy of building on. We sifted through the fear-based perspectives and replaced them with the energy of love coming from the inside out. Now, we are ready for Part Three: Living the Journey. This is where we take action steps to build on this new foundation and create a house and garden that make us shine. The foundation we are building on now will grow and expand with us. Our houses no longer deteriorate because now we are AWARE of what creates the problems so we are able to fix them at the source before it takes down our house. We can choose to re-model our houses and/or re-frame them as time goes on. We are choosing our changes consciously.

Let’s check some boxes:

  • Awareness our fear-based thinking holding us back
  • Acceptance of our pasts
  • Acceptance of the unknown future
  • Consciousness about the perspectives of truth we are choosing to live by
  • Commitment to live in the energy of love
  • Commitment to live in gratitude
  • Ready to take action

Let’s start the process of rebuilding from our new foundation. Is our land going to be perfect? Not a chance! What we do have is tools to keep it maintained and get rid of any left over toxic muck as is comes up to the surface. Some of our fear-based perspectives of truth are buried deep down and they take longer to surface, but once they do we are ready for it. We are able to process the feelings, work through them and replace the old pattern with something that works better in our lives. Just remember this all takes time. Be patient! Our canvas won’t be complete until we have taken our last breath.

Rebuilding takes work. The more you want to change and shift, the more work you have to put in. No one is forcing you to build your house or create your garden on any time line, but here is the truth of it all. If you don’t do the work and keep up with it, the foundation will become unstable again and anything you try to create on top of toxic land will crumble, fall, and die. Now, when I say work there are instant perspectives of truth that will relate to what work means to you. I’m a believer in working smart. In my perspective working hard has a connotation of fear to it. If I don’t work hard, “I will fail” come into my mind the thought creates stress in my feelings, thoughts, and choices. In this mindset people can become workaholics and can neglect their well-being for the sake of working hard. My method is to work smart. For me, that feels better and causes me less anxiety and stress. It’s good to check-in with yourself on words and concepts to see how they make you feel, because it will affect the energy you put out into the world. If working hard fuels you with the right type of energy to go for it and doesn’t fill you with expectations and attachments related to fear, then use it. Whatever you need to do for you.

During this month we will be building on our foundations built on the energies of faith, hope, gratitude, and love. We will be creating beautiful gardens in our mind and committing to keep working on being the best we can be in each moment we are given.

Living the journey is about letting go of the thinking that keeps us from being present.  We start engaging in the energy that puts us where our feet are. This journey is about embracing the moment we are in, learning to slow down, and taking the steps we need to in order to create a reality that we want to be living in. We can find joy in a single step, hope in the shape of clouds, faith in the energy of Divine love, and gratitude for each breath we are able to take, step we are able to walk, sunset we are see, fruit we are able to taste, and feeling we are able to have. This is a journey about appreciating the moments we are given and letting that energy of gratitude take us into a reality better than we could ever imagine.

Since this section is all about the work, there will be no “Just for Today” section. You choose how much you want a better life and do the work you need to do to get it. If you do the work, your life will change. No one can do it for you. You have to decide.

So, let me ask you—Are you in?

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 61 – I’m Ready to Rebuild My Life

 

 

 

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90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 57 – Being Clear on What You Stand For

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 57: Being Clear on What We Stand For

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.”

-Maya Angelou

When we come from a place of love for ourselves, we can clearly see what we stand for. We don’t try to conform to fit into other people’s journeys. We honor ours. “Normal” is a container that we don’t belong in. We are open to serve our purpose with clarity, love, and compassion. We each have our own unique ways of giving back, paying it forward, and standing up to represent the changes we want to see in the world. None of us are going to do this the exact same way. What is important is that we are being clear on what we stand for and that we are engaging the light (love) within us, not the dark (fear) within us.

In Part I of this series I talked about the energy of against (Day 23). This is an energy that can easily blind us. This is where our fears, rage, anger, entitlement, and/or hatred can take over and take the energy away from what we are really standing for. Fear represents the dark spots within us. These are the spots that need light in order not to create toxic blocks. It’s not about the word against, but the energy that is put into the word. If we are so angry that we are using that as fuel to guide us, we are breathing darkness into the situation. We are dimming our light.

If we can step back and remember the wise words of Mother Teresa,

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We can step back, gain some perspective and thoroughly look at those feelings of against and figure out how to transform them into what we actually stand for.

Here are just a few examples:

  • I’m against racism/ I’m for treating each other as equals
  • I’m against sexual harassment/ I’m for individuals getting treated with respect
  • I’m against drugs/ I’m for individuals finding healthy ways to experience life
  • I’m against war/ I’m for finding ways to communicate through our different perspectives

Be clear on what makes you want to stand up for. Be clear by being responsible for the energy you are putting into your actions. I’m brought to tears of love and compassion when I see men and women speaking about what they stand for, but if all I can hear from the message is what their against, I stop listening and I’m done. This is one of the things that make politics difficult for me to watch. I find it harder and harder to figure out what people are standing for. One of my favorite authors, Marianne Williamson (quoted multiple times in this series) has been activist and working her way into the political scene. She first ran in California. I wondered how she was going to be able to use her powerful voice in politics. Now, she has announced that she is running for President in 2020. I listened to her speeches and I was brought to tears. I watched her interviews with very skeptical reporters, and I was brought to tears. I knew exactly what her messages represented and what she stood for.

There have been politicians on both the Republican and Democratic side who I heard the messages of what they stood for, it doesn’t matter if I believe in the same things they do, I just want to hear people’s passion for their causes without attacking others for not believing the same things or having different ideas. Every society is built from many different perspectives of truth. If we are just focusing on whether a person is from one political party or another, we can miss seeing the human standing up in front of us. This human is responsible for being the voice for many different perspectives of truth.

Think of a family, churches, religions, charities, etc. Even within a part of what a collective society of individuals who have a similar love for what is being represented aren’t going to agree with each other all the time. If we speak to each other in ways where we can clearly see where each other are coming from, we know that the person listening cares about our voice even if we don’t agree with their perspective of truth, it opens possibilities for innovative solutions. It helps leaders communicate clearly why they are choosing to do what they do.

Will everyone listen? Of course not, some people are so lost in their personal perspectives of truth they can’t hear anything outside of it. That is fear talking. We miss seeing love in action if we only are willing to see perspectives of truth that keep us contained. If a belief causes stress or for you to hate (engaging your darkness), it is a belief to think about shifting. Hate is an energy that you put out into the world and it creates more of it. You aren’t representing what you stand for by putting out that kind of energy. You are representing what you are against.

What if, instead of taking the war on drugs, we put that energy into finding solutions to how to relieve people’s pain without needing harmful medications? What if we found solutions in the schools that helped children get the tools to learn how to feel and cope with stress in a natural way? What if we taught people to feel through their emotional pain instead of suppressing it? What if we had conversations about being proactive about mental health instead of treating the problem after the addiction has already set-in? What if we brought mindfulness into all the schools? What if we taught children about how to experience natural highs? What if we taught children the importance of being the friend who watches out for the people they care about?

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When we take responsibility for our own energy that we are putting into our families, our romantic relationships, our causes, our passions, our politics, our spiritual and/or religious practices, and ourselves, we become consciously aware of if we are contributing to the light (what we stand for that represents loving action) or our darkness (the fear of what we are against). When we become responsible for the energy we put out there, we can question ourselves when we see that we are feeding our own dark energies, because whatever we put out there will come back to us. I know I’ve brought up Karma, the Law of Attraction, and religious principles that all agree. This is not about judgment—this is about energy! Energy is the boomerang that will keep coming back.

Just for Today

Write down a list of things you stand for. Check-in with yourself to see if you are representing  love or fear. Then write of list coming from a loving place of ways you can represent what you stand for by shining your light. Any time a fearful thought comes up, write it down and work through it until it can transcend into a loving action. After doing this exercise really pay attention to your energy and how you feel.

When I spend the time on this exercise, I feel better. I feel lighter, and I notice the beauty of the things around me more. It’s a pretty amazing process. I don’t question why Jesus chose to act in complete loving action no matter what others believed, because it really does create an AMAZING energy that shines an incredible light on the lives that are touched by the light inside of us. You don’t have to believe in any particular organized religion, political party, and/or lifestyle to be touched by how individuals represent loving action. We show who we are by being able to move past all the our differences and see the love within and behind the people who are following their own inner light. It really is a beautiful journey and one that has the opportunity to connect us on a deeper level.

Thank you for reading! I can only hope you hear my love through the pages I write, whether you have the same beliefs or different ones, I’m so grateful for your time.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 57 -What I Represent in the World

 

 

 

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90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 56 – The Safe Foundation of Self-Love

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 56: The Safe Foundation of Self-Love

“It is easy to live for others, everybody does. I call on you to live for yourselves.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The last week we have been diving into the importance of self-worth. When I was planning out the layout of Part II, I went back and forth whether to put the self-love or self-worth section first. They go hand in hand, but as I thought about it and the process I went through, I realized that I had to gain self-worth to start liking myself. Once I started liking myself, the path to loving myself was smooth. I wasn’t trying to force it. I remember the first time I looked into the mirror and said, “I love you” as an exercise, that’s when I found out how much I didn’t like myself. I saw how brutal I was to the person looking back at me. I worked on healing that before I could look back in the mirror and say, “I love you” and truly mean it.

Self-love is the safest foundation we can build our lives on. Self-love is the glue. We need self-love for all the other elements of love (Days 32-35), acceptance (Days 36-41), perspective (Days 42-46), gratitude (Days 47-50), and self-worth (Days 51-55) to grow and expand. Without self-love we fall off the wagon and struggle to get back on. We struggle to find our way through the dark tunnels and small confined boxes. Self-love is the essence of what living in the light is about. When we love ourselves fully, deeply, and without question, we are able to shine our lights at full capacity.

“Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It is sanity.”

-Katrina Mayer

Many of us have been raised in ways that were led by fear. That makes the understanding of what love is very confusing. That makes self-love even more confusing. This is where confusion can set in about someone who loves themselves too much (which is not possible) and someone who is ego driven. Ego comes from our fears, not love. It doesn’t mean anyone who lives in their ego driven world is a bad person, they are just caught up in their own dark energy that seeks outside approval from the world. Often it comes from deep levels of self-loathing. They are trying to prove something to the world and seeking love from the outside world because they can’t find it inside themselves. Have you ever been caught up in this downward spiral? I know I have. When we are there, we start taking our lack of love for ourselves out on the world. We want someone else to make us feel safe, because we can’t find that safety within our own feelings about ourselves. Self-love is where our safety lies. We just need to move past all the fears that have been blocking us from seeing the full capacity of our own lights.

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If you read the Day 55 post from the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series, “How I Honor the Person I Am” I talk a little bit about how I’m connected to my spirituality through my self-love. I’ve studied many different religious paths on an academic level. I’ve looked for similarities and differences. I’ve looked for the love and fear within the readings. I’ve looked how human words whether in text or in services have brought perspectives of fear or love into their interpretations. I’m a spiritual person, so my connection to Spirit is very important to my journey, but my connection does not come from a human level, so no words spoken or written can contain my connection. No titles can hold me to the point where I can’t spot the love within another human.

If I have a weak moment where my own darkness is dimming my light, I know I have to go back to the truest form of love, the love within myself to reconnect beyond what the outside world tells me. Many people try to connect to spirit through words, but words and interpretation of words are apart of our human journey. Spirit is an energy beyond what we as humans can ever contain. In my perspective of truth, the closest I will ever get to feeling and honoring a true connection to Spirit is through the energy of love. I know that my capacity to love and be loved is at it’s highest when I love myself. I have to have it within me to fully feel the effects of it outside of me.  I CHOOSE LOVE. I choose love to connect me to myself, to the Divine Creator, to humanity, and to the planet. That is all created through my safe foundation of self-love.

When I’m honoring the love within me—I’m safe. It doesn’t matter what people don’t love me back. That is their business. That is their journey. The people who are meant to be on my journey will be there for as long as they are meant to be. When they leave or I shut the door, I’m still safe within the love I feel for myself. I can grieve them knowing they played an important role on my journey. I can feel the loss of their energy in my life. I can have moments of fear where I wonder if I will ever feel that way for someone again. That is apart of honoring their part in my journey, but in the end, I will still be there for me. I will be grateful that I was able to love someone so much. This can of course extend to animals, the Earth, our environment, etc.

The more we love ourselves and understand our mistakes, failures, triumphs, darkness, and light, the more we can see that it’s not our place to judge someone else’s life journey. It’s more important to keep our  own gardens the way we want them.

“I see our choices of perspectives of truth as the garden we create in our minds. I choose what seeds I’m going to plant. I decide how to treat the soil. I figure out the way I want to water my garden. I choose which weeds I want to pull. I determine how much light each flower, plant, vine, bush, or tree needs. I choose the space between each life form to support their growth. Other people can give me seeds to flowers, plants, trees, weeds, smuggling vines, invasive species, fertilizers, etc. I get to choose whether to plant or use them. If it doesn’t fit into the garden I’m creating, I can put it in my pocket to possibly plant later, or get rid of it completely. The choice is MINE and MINE ALONE!”

–Rachael Wolff, Day 46

We keep our gardens by being aware of our light and darkness and accepting ourselves for the person we are and the one we choose to be through our choices. When we choose to love ourselves, we have the ability to create gardens of AWE and AMAZEMENT. Our love guides us how to care for the gardens in our minds. Our love for ourselves gives us the beautiful seeds to pass onto others. Self-love gives us so much room to grow and expand without being contained by fear-driven ideas and demands. We are safe because the love we have for ourselves cannot be taken away by anything outside of us. Our gardens are in our minds, but when we create them from self-love, that creation is coming from the energy of our light within us, our soul.

Just for Today

Could you name three things you love about yourself everyday for 90 days? If you don’t think you can, start today. If you think you can, start today. If you want to see the biggest transformation that you will EVER see, start today. A hint into finding things you love about yourself is to look at what you love about others. If you spot it in someone else— It’s in you too! Enjoy the journey!

Thank you for reading and growing with me. I hope this journey helps you to create and expand the gardens of your dreams! Don’t limit your garden’s beauty. SHINE BRIGHT!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 56 – The Safety of My Self-Love

 

 

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90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 55 – How I Honor the Person I Am

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 55: How I Honor the Person I Am

Dear Self,

With every step of the self-discovery process, I gain clarity. I’m bringing attention to how I honor the person I am. I’m choosing to be accountable for the choices I’m making. This list is to help keep my energy on the level that feels good on the inside, so that I’m conscious of what I’m sending out into the world.

  • I’m aware of what happens to my energy when I project out fear, shame, blame, judgment, self-abuse, and living in the past and the future do to my lack of self-worth. I know that when I’m in a healthy place, I don’t take my fears out on others. I treat others with the same love and respect that I treat myself. I know my value and worth so I treat myself with the love and respect I deserve. I show myself love and respect by treating my body right, treating my thoughts compassionately, and giving myself the time I deserve to nurture any feelings that come up that I need time to work through. I also won’t expect anybody to give me more quality time than I give myself.
  • I’m accountable for my feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, and reactions. I am going to have feelings that feel good and ones that don’t. I’m responsible for the choices I make no matter what I’m feeling. My joy comes from within and so does my sadness. I will accept all my feelings because I know they are there to teach me something about the choices I’m making. I know I’m responsible for my thoughts, because there is always a different way I can choose to look at things. I am accountable for my perspectives of truth because they are the doorways to any path I choose. Finally, my actions and reactions are influenced by the way I’m perceiving reality. I am responsible for all the choices I make. Other people are responsible for their choices. If someone chooses to be unkind to me, that’s their business. My business is the energy I choose to put out towards them.
  • I’m very clear on the differences between love and fear. My definition of love leaves no room for cruelty under any circumstances. When I’m operating from a place of fear, I’m not capable of acting/reacting from a loving place. I will react from a place of fear, which leads to confusion and chaos within my mind, body, and soul. Feelings that come from fear, shame, blame, judgment, guilt, rage, hate, vengeance, insecurities, and/or lack of worth are not representing the love within me. It is important for me to watch these feelings as they come up so that I find a way to let love transcend them. My definition of love is:

“Love is patient; Love is kind; Love is NOT envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; It is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice in Wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” -Corinthians 13.4-13.7

  • I’m in complete acceptance that my past is over. The best thing I can do is learn from my experiences and let anything that keeps me stuck in my own darkness go. I want to be conscious to see warning signs and spot kindheartedness without confusing the two. I’m focused on healing any energy I have tied to unhealthy pieces of my past in regards to people, places, and things. I’m responsible for the negative energy I’m holding inside me and I don’t want to take old feelings out on unsuspecting people. I’m also letting go of my attachments to the unknown future. I can have goals, but it is my job to take the actions I need to take today to be the best version of me in this moment. I will leave my future open for the twists and turns so that I can enjoy the journey on this beautiful scenic route.  I’m going to be with people when I’m with them so that I can know with clarity that they are treating me the way I treat myself. I won’t put my head in the future ignoring the signs of the care for myself and others in the moment.
  • I want to be hold perspectives of truth led by love. I want to live my life from a loving place. It is my responsibility to look at my feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, and reactions to make sure they are aligned with how I want to be living.
  • I have chosen perspectives of truth that support me becoming the best version of me. My perspectives reflect living life with an abundance of love for myself and others. I choose to follow the Divine Creator’s path of love to salvation. I choose to see individuals and find connections through our capacity to love. I choose to trust that everything happens for a reason, and that every lesson comes with its blessings. I choose to share my life openly without fear, so that I give myself the opportunity connect with other loving souls. I choose to believe that whatever I feel about myself reflects out to create my reality. I choose to believe we are all students and teachers and each life has value whether life ends in the womb or at an old age. People are here as long as they are meant to be to fulfill their Divine Contract to serve humanity. Some will serve through their darkness and others through their light. I choose to believe anything that has the ability to bring out our compassion, love, empathy, humanity, and connection has authentic value.
  • I’m choosing to live in gratitude and abundance. The more I choose gratitude, the more abundant I feel. I know that I’m reflecting what I feel inside, so gratitude helps me manifest more of what I’m appreciating in my life.
  • How I’m treating myself is reflecting the way I want to be treated by others. I know that I can’t expect people to treat me better than I’m treating myself, so I’m making sure I put the time and energy to me that I deserve. I know I’m responsible for the energy that is coming back to me. If I don’t like what I’m getting, I need to check in with me to see what dark areas of myself I’m still feeding. I need to make sure that I’m showing myself that I’m deserving of time, energy, nurturing, and love.
  • My intention is to live life from a loving place and appreciate each day for the blessings that it gives me.
  • My intention in giving is to assist people uncover the best versions of themselves. I want to help others find the perspectives of truths that will bring the most love and peace into their lives. I want to serve humanity from a loving place. My intention is to increase the light shining in the world.
  • I love myself more than I ever have before. I truly believe that the more I love myself the more I’m able to connect with God’s love for me. When I see me through the eyes of love, I’m connecting deeper with the Divine, because I’m connecting through the light I was created with. The more solid I am in my own self-love, the more love I have to give and connect to others with.
  • I’m right here and right now. I want to enjoy the journey of life. I want to see each step and each miracle as it unfolds before me. When I’m not where my feet are I try to get a touch stone in nature to look at to bring me back to the moment I’m in, because when I’m not in the present, I get stressed. That is not where I want to be.
  • I’m open to try new things as they are presented to me on my path. I trust the Universe when I get signs to talk to people, read things, watch things, or do things. I want to live this life knowing I made the most out of every moment, so I’m open to learn, try, and explore life beyond my comfort zone.

Knowing these things about myself helps me enjoy my journey and be more conscious of what I’m learning.

Today I’m grateful

  1. I’m grateful for the breeze that reminded me to return to the present moment
  2. I’m grateful for the loving energy I feel from the people who I love
  3. I’m grateful for the silence on my first walk with my dog in the morning
  4. I’m grateful for today for giving me a chance to see more love in the world
  5. I’m grateful for my life’s journey

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

The list from this letter comes from today’s exercise in the 90-Day A Better Me Series. You can check it out below:

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 55 – Clarity in Self Discovery

 

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90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 55 – Clarity in Self Discovery

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 55: Clarity in Self Discovery

“What I believe makes me who I am.”

-Deepak Chopra

When we stop defining ourselves in terms of what we do, what we have, and how we were raised, we open our world up to discovering who we really are. We discover ourselves. The clearer we see ourselves the more capacity we have to shine our light.

We aren’t seeking value outside of ourselves, so our intentions don’t get confused. We don’t do things that go against the person we are. We support and take care of ourselves so that we are able to give to others authentically with no expectations of what we will get back. We project and attract the best kind of life. When our power comes from within, nobody can take it away.

Our relationships are healthier because we aren’t trying to force others to see our value. This includes our relationship with the God of our understanding. We value ourselves. We project our value. We manifest healthy individuals into our lives. Our value is reflected back to us through our relationship with them. If a person’s energy doesn’t match ours, they will fade to the background of our lives or they will be gone. I have learned what an amazing blessing this is. I know the people in my life have a reason for being there. If it’s not a pleasant experience, I say a prayer: Please help me see the lesson I’m supposed to learn so that I can grow and expand from this situation.

If I’m triggered, I do my best to dig deep to figure out what in them is triggering something in me. People are our mirrors, sometimes the ones we have the hardest time with are most like the parts of us that we don’t accept about ourselves. I’m not going to lie; I needed a narcissist and a diagnosed schizophrenic to show me how hurtful I was to myself. I feel truly blessed for all the lessoned I learned about myself in those relationships. I don’t think I would be where I am today if I didn’t go through what I did with them. I truly see all the things that I was once victimized by as my biggest blessings, because those situations are what it took me to move and shift out of my darkness. They showed me clarity in self discovery.

When we have clarity, we aren’t so hard on other people’s imperfections, because we know we have them too. We know that they have the opportunity to grow just like we do. We don’t feel the need to tear someone else down because it doesn’t contribute to our light. We also know that tearing someone else down is us showing our darkness. When we are clear, we want to shine light on the dark, not create more.

With clarity, I can clearly see that it’s none of my business what people think about me. I don’t do things to please others; I do things out of a genuine place of wanting to do it. In my romantic relationship, I am able to communicate clearly and effectively without any underlying feeling of needing him to do or be different than he is. I’m responsible for my feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions and he is responsible for his. I won’t take or accept responsibility for anything that isn’t mine. I don’t give my power away by making someone else responsible for my stuff.

I used to believe I had to fight for healthy boundaries, appreciation, my way, etc. I’ve learned through this process that the more I fought, the more stress there would be in my relationships. The problem was I wasn’t clear on who I was so I would get lost in my relationships with the men I was trying to gain value from. It was a very unhealthy way to live. I remember the constant struggle. I’m so grateful to have learned ways to expand my perspectives of truth to me less painful. Now, I’m secure in the person I am, so I’m so much more at peace.

I love the process on gaining clarity, and it is so much less stressful than how I was living my life before. Being a mom still shows me the areas I need to work on, but it truly is a gift to be able to say something like: Wow, this is really triggering me. I’m feeling an anger inside me and I don’t think it’s because my daughter didn’t do her school work like over the weekend like I told her to. Let me look at this a little deeper: she tried to blame me for her schoolwork not getting done. Blaming me for something that is not my responsibility is still a hot spot. How did I feel when we both started raising our voices? When did I feel the sensation of anger start creeping up in my body? When is the first time I remember feeling that? How can I work on myself to be a better mom to her?

I can see where there is always room to get more clarity. The talk in my head that used to be so unproductive often serves a purpose now. The blessing of blogging is that I can get out the ideas that pop into my head. That way I make room to develop and grow with them.

The more clear we are about who we are, the less people who get hurt by our projection of unworthy self. Sometimes we have no idea how much damage we are doing by putting out our fear-filled energies out into the world. The fear that comes from being unworthy can spin out of control and create a lot of chaos.  None of us our perfect, when we learn from our pasts, every step we took was necessary to get us to the moment we are in right now.

Just for Today

Answer these questions:

  • Are you aware of what living in fear, shame, blame, judgment, self-abuse, and living in the past and the future creates in your life (Days 1-30)?
  • Are you holding yourself accountable for your feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions?
  • Are you clear on the difference between love and fear (Days 32-35)?
  • Are you in acceptance (Days 36-41) of your past and the unknown future?
  • Do you want to be led by perspectives of truth (Day 42-46) led by love (light) or fear (dark)?
  • Have you chose perspectives of truth that support the life you want to be living?
  • Are you living in a place of gratitude or lack (Days 47-50)?
  • Is how you are treating yourself the way you want others treating you (Days 51-54)?
  • What is your intention on how you want to live?
  • What is your intention on how you want to give?
  • Do you love yourself (Days 56-59)?
  • Is your focus on what you can do today (Day 60)?
  • Are you willing an open to try something new to break old unhealthy patterns (Part III)?

Feel free to read and explore any of the 90-Day A Better Me Series and the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series that you have missed so far. Thank you for being on this journey with me. Let the love within you guide the way!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 55 – How I Honor the Person I Am

 

 

 

 

 

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90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 53 – Healthy Boundaries

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 53: Healthy Boundaries

“Respect yourself and others will respect you.”

-Confucius

As we grow in our self-worth, our healthy boundaries start naturally establishing themselves. We no longer try to force and demand other people to respect us. We no longer feel bad when we are not getting treated the way we feel like we deserve. We learn, the more we treat ourselves with respect, the people around us will feel the light of our self-respect, not the darkness from the fear of not being respected. We have to have the respect for ourselves to show people how to treat us.

If we want other people to see our time and love is valuable to them, the time and love we invest in ourselves shows them that. I didn’t have self-worth, self-respect, or self-love when I was growing up, and my feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions to what other people did reflected that. To the point where I did try to kill myself because I felt like I had absolutely no value. I couldn’t establish healthy boundaries with others because I put my value in their feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions. We can’t establish healthy boundaries from our fears. When we attempt to, we are actually attracting more of the people that will not respect those boundaries because our focus is on what we don’t want.

The real focus of fear-based boundaries is the fear of not being respected, not being loved, and not being appreciated. That leads us to feeling disappointed over and over again. Our perspective of truth is trapped in our own darkness. A person could be showing us their version of love, respect, and appreciation but if our focus is on our fear-based perspectives of truth (Days 43-46), we won’t see it because if their version looks different than ours, our fear-based perspectives of their words, beliefs, actions, and reactions tells us they are in the wrong.

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”

-Lao Tzu

When we are shining our light from our self-love, self-respect, and self-worth, we project that out to the people around us. They will either shine their light back, walk away from our light, or attempt to dim our light to test how strong our light is. Our healthy boundaries are an energetic force field around us.

I think of it as the little prayer I learned, bless it or block it. If I have something to learn from a person, he/she will come into my life. If there is nothing to learn from their experience it won’t be presented to me. Now, this includes videos, news stories, music, books, seminars, media coverage, social media posts, celebrities, etc. I have the opportunity to learn from whatever my journey has brought me to see.

  • Have you ever heard the perfect song for what you are going through on the radio?
  • Have you ever heard that song that brought all your tears about a situation to the surface?
  • Have you ever been suggested to read a book or watch a video multiple times by people who weren’t connected to each other?
  • Have you ever turned on the TV and catch a show that you find a message in? Have you ever had a book fall off a shelf in front of you?

I can go on with the lists of questions, but I think you get the point.

If we need to work on our light force field, we will be presented with lessons that can help us build and strengthen it, but we won’t learn those lessons if we are stuck in the topics we talked about in Part I (Days 2-30) of the 90-Day A Better Me Series. That is why it is so important to start this journey by becoming aware of what is blocking us from creating these light force fields around ourselves. We have to establish trust on this journey of learning. We have to be able to spot our own darkness (fear) and shine the light (love) on it.

I’m respected by the people I choose to have in my life, because I respect myself. I don’t expect others to give me what I’m not giving myself. When I have an expectation of others, I can look at it and see how I’m not showing myself  my own respect, love, and/or worth in the situation. I can’t correct the problem, until I change my perspective on how I’m looking at it. If I’m blaming them, my darkness is leading me. That dark force field will project an energy out that I REALLY don’t want to be coming back to me. I sometimes will have to bust my ass doing the work to get out of that space. The difference for me is now I don’t resist those lessons. I don’t tell myself that whatever happened shouldn’t have happened. It did happen, that’s reality. There is a blessing in whatever comes my way. When I see the blessing, I contribute to my light energy force field (Healthy boundaries).

The best part is that our healthy light force field isn’t just about protecting us from the feelings and actions of others. It helps protect us from making unhealthy choices against ourselves in our feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions. With food, it may mean we won’t pick up an item to fill an emotional void. With health, we may get little energy nudges to do, eat, take, or drink specific things to assist with healing something within us. It can steer us away from things that aren’t healthy for us—people, places, and/or things included. The more light we learn to shine, the clearer we see our healthy boundaries. We start thanking our Creator for being late because it helped us to miss an accident. We start feeling gratitude for Divine timing. We start seeing the blessings in our lives on a whole new level.

Just for Today

Answer these questions:

  • Are you trying to establish personal boundaries from love or fear?
  • How are people responding to these energetic force fields you are creating?
  • How can you improve your self-worth, self-respect, and self-love to create a stronger light energy force field?
  • If you already have a light energy force field that you feel, what blessing is it bringing to your life?

This REALLY is a MIRACLE-filled journey once we open the doors and commit to learning how to shine our own lights brighter. We truly learn the meaning of living an AWE-filled life. What we see becomes so much more beautiful. Enjoy the journey!

Thank you for reading!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 53 – My Healthy Boundaries

 

 

 

 

 

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90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 50 – Transitioning from Judgment to Gratitude

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 50: Transitioning from Judgment to Gratitude

Dear Self,

I’m aware that I felt judgment run through me today as I was questioning another person’s communication methods. I heard my inner thoughts beginning to stir because I didn’t agree with their approach and perspectives of truth. I can tell this is having an affect on me because of the stories playing in my head, the way I feel when I tell the story, and how my body feels tights and contracted every time I think of the situation. This doesn’t feel good to me. I know I can’t change someone else. I can’t FORCE someone to see things my way. What I can change is myself. I can change the way I feel by doing the work of gratitude. I can make sure that when I do communicate it is with the energy I want to pass on instead of dark fear-based energy. So here we go:

  1. I’m grateful for the opportunity to be loving and open to see other people perspectives even if I don’t agree with them.
  2. I’m grateful to know that my feelings are my responsibility to manage.
  3. I’m grateful that I’m not the victim of someone else’s thoughts about me.
  4. I’m grateful I can choose how I view other people’s actions.
  5. I’m grateful I can choose love-based perspectives of truth to live by.
  6. I’m grateful I don’t have to take what other’s say or do personally, that is their stuff not mine. They are only seeing me through their perspectives of truth.
  7. I’m grateful I have tools to get me out of my own darkness and fear-based thinking.
  8. I’m grateful I’m getting stronger the more I am aware of the thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions I’m choosing.
  9. I’m grateful I can choose to change the story, when I’m ready to see it through a perspective of love.
  10. I’m grateful I’m free to make my own assessments of people, places, things, and situations.
  11. I’m so incredibly grateful to all the people who have done research and who have made that available so I can figure out an educated view that works for my life.

Just writing this list helped my energy start to shift. I’m feeling better about the energy flowing through my body now. This is my story! Every time I commit to taking control over the energy I’m putting into it, I get better.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 50 – Being Grateful for What Makes Us Different

Thank you for reading and transforming with me!

 

 

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