90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 80 – Living Gratitude in My Relationships

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 80: Living Gratitude in My Relationships

Dear Universe,

I feel so incredibly blessed to have the relationships I do in my life. I feel blessed to have learned so much from the relationships of my past. I feel so incredibly blessed to be living gratitude in my relationships more than I choose to live in lack now. I’m so incredibly grateful to experience so many different people with different backgrounds, experience, and opinions. Each one helps me to grow exponentially.

Living Gratitude in my relationships has shown me exactly where I am in my perspective. When I see someone’s light, I’m in my light. If I see and react to someone’s darkness, I’m in my darkness. If I respond to someone’s darkness from a loving and grateful place, I’m in my brightest light. If I feel my inner people pleaser emerging, I’m stuck in feelings and energy of lack. If I do things for others, because it feels good to do it, I’m in my feelings and energy of abundance. Living in gratitude helps me to spot, shift, and change my feelings, thoughts, and actions to project abundance to the people I’ve chosen to love, honor, and respect. I’m so incredibly grateful to have learned how to do this. The blessings that have come from living gratitude in my relationships are nothing short of miracles.

Seeing the best in people in my life has helped me to see the best in myself. When I can spot the beauty in them, I see that I had to project that beauty out to be attracted back to me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to recognize and appreciate it. I would still be stuck in picking apart the other person if I was picking apart myself. I see now that the only time I’m picking on someone else to others or even to myself is when I’m digging at myself. I may be angry with myself for saying yes when I know that I wanted to say no. I may be feeling weak because I sacrificed my healthy boundaries to appease someone else’s comfort. I may be feeling justified in my toxic energy I’m putting out because someone else’s is worse. I may be feeling insecure about who I am so I take it out on someone else.  Anyway I look at it, it all comes back to the energy that I’m putting out and that is MY choice.

I want the people I love to know exactly how much I love and appreciate them. I want them to see how much them being in my life means to me. I can only do this by choosing to live in gratitude in my relationships. In order to do that, I must decide to live gratitude in my life.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for my children for being who they are and showing me ways to be a better mom daily.
  2. I’m grateful for my dad and my “special mom” who taught me so much about love, life, growth, and death.
  3. I’m grateful for my mom being a beacon of light even when I am in my darkness.
  4. I’m grateful for my sister for helping me to learn so much about what it means to be strong and compassionate while standing up for the people we love. I’m incredibly grateful for her ability to bring out the best laughs in me by the mere sound of her laughter.
  5. I’m grateful for my stepdad for loving me like I am his own and being such an amazing friend.
  6. I’m grateful to my amazing partner who I can love and accept for who he is and where we are in each moment. I’m so grateful we both know how to support each other in loving and encouraging ways.
  7. I’m grateful to all my incredible extended family who show up with love and support no matter how much time passes.
  8. I’m grateful to my absolutely AMAZING soul sister and agent for encouraging me to spread my voice and my work as we travel this life’s journey together. I’m so incredibly grateful for the day when everything came together in the Universe for us to meet over a decade ago.
  9. I’m grateful for my friends new and old who show me my light and my darkness and give me so many opportunities to live, laugh, and love.
  10. I’m grateful for the relationships that trigger my darkness so I can see it and heal it.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

If you missed it, check out today’s installment get 6 Simple Steps to Living Gratitude in Your Relationships by following this link: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 80 – Living Gratitude in Our Relationships

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 70 – Doing What We Love

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 70: Doing What We Love

“Doing what you love is freedom. Loving what you do is happiness.”

-Lana Del Ray

We’ve reached a point where it’s not enough to KNOW what we love doing. Now, we need to do what we love. There is no more room for excuses why we aren’t taking steps towards doing what we love. The only reason we don’t is because we don’t love ourselves enough to experience the joy of it. Taking the steps is the key to having the ability to do what we love. Without taking steps, we will never get there. I can say I love doing this or that all day long, but until I do something about it, it will be the cause for the feeling of lack. That feeling of lack will permeate through everything I do and don’t do. That feeling of lack takes our energy down and we start manifesting and attracting things that will bring us more feelings of lack. THAT IS NOT WHAT WE WANT TO BE DOING!!

“Let’s do what we love and do a lot of it.”

-Marc Jacobs

If we want to manifest and attract abundance in our lives we have to be in the energy of abundance. We have to do the work. The work is to do what we love with energy of fulfillment, joy, and love. Why do we make this so hard? If we don’t love ourselves, and I mean really love ourselves, we sabotage any level of love that goes above what we feel for ourselves. That’s why I talked yesterday about loving our bodies and actively showing our bodies they are valued. They are the structure of our internal homes, yet many of us don’t take the time to care and love the vessel that is carrying us through this life. Instead, we focus on the lack of what it does or doesn’t do and the lack of what it doesn’t look like or feel like…this all ties into how our energy affects what we are attracting to our lives.

Why not love what we do and do what we love? What do we have to lose by investing some of our time taking steps to doing what we love? This isn’t just about work—This is about life! We have to start taking steps somewhere, and once we do all the rest begins to fall into place with the energy we are aligning ourselves with. Start doing what you love today! Don’t wait to take a step tomorrow.

“Believe in yourself, listen to your gut, and do what you love.”

-Dylan Lauren

What CAN YOU DO TODAY THAT WILL START CONTRIBUTING TO THE ENERGY OF DOING WHAT YOU LOVE?

If you love hiking—Start walking! Take walks daily. Find local areas to walk in nature. Don’t be surprised when hiking shoes come into your life, and the dream hiking trip falls into your lap. This is what happens when we start taking the steps.

If you love art—Start watching how-to videos EVERYDAY and practicing your skills! Don’t be surprised if one day someone offers to buy your work or you have your own spot in an art show. This is what happens when we start doing the work.

If you love to write—Start writing EVERYDAY! You can write in a journal, a blog, a book, social media posts, etc. Keep writing, study techniques, and reading other people’s writings who you admire. Don’t be surprised when opportunities to write come to your door. You’re attracting this to your life by the energy you’re putting out.

If you love helping others—Start volunteering your time EVERYDAY to help others in some way! If you are doing this from a pure place of love, not of trying to win points, or thinking it’s what you should be doing, you will start attracting people who truly want help to get past the position they are in right now. You will be helping, without enabling and the results will keep the love in your heart full. Don’t be surprised when all kinds of blessings come to your life for being in this place.

If you love being a parent—Do things EVERYDAY that support this love! Be present and see how the energy shifts and expands through your home. Your kids will feel that energy of love and it will permeate into what they do too. Don’t be surprised if parenting becomes a lot easier all because of where your head is.

If you love working numbers—Push yourself daily on number problems to solve! You can find all you need and more on the Intranet. Your skills start increasing and problem-solving becomes even more fun as you work the numbers. Don’t be surprised when opportunities start coming your way.

If you love acting—Start running lines, doing the exercises, and honing your craft DAILY! Don’t be surprised when the opportunity shows up with an opportunity to act for others.

If you love cooking—Spend time learning techniques and cooking DAILY. There is nothing we can’t learn today in this day and age. Everything we want to know is only a few finger strokes away. Don’t be surprised when more people start acknowledging your food and giving you opportunities to spread your love for cooking.

WHAT ACTION STEPS ARE YOU CHOOSING TO TAKE TODAY?

STOP TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU LOVE AND START DOING IT! Doing what you love might not lead to a paying gig, but it will improve your life in so many ways because you are taking the time to DO what you love. You will attract blessings beyond what you can even imagine. The way you approach the job you do will change even if your job title doesn’t. Eventually if you stick with the energy of doing what you love, you will start attracting job opportunities that will help you to grow and expand your love. It really is a truly AMAZING process to watch how this works in people’s lives.

So many amazing things have happened in my life once I started putting my whole heart into doing what I love. Once you start taking the steps, miracles start unfolding in front of your eyes. I feel complete AWE when I can see this energy working in my life and the lives of others. It gives me goose bumps EVERY time I hear someone tell me stories of how this has worked in their lives.  It will work for anyone who does the work to puts their energy in the place of love and abundance.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 70 – Doing What I Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 59 – Attracting the Energy of Love

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 59: Attracting the Energy of Love

“The state of our inner being directly influences our behavior, which in turn influences how people respond to us.”

-Cheryl Pallant

On Day 58, I wrote about manifesting love, now we will dive into the idea a little further by moving into attracting the energy of love. Once we have our self-love in place, we project that loving energy out to the Universe. We begin manifesting the magic that self-love has to offer us out in the world. Finally, what we project out and manifest is what we attract back to us. This is the Law of Attraction along with a religious/spiritual concept many of us know, we reap what we sow.

Yesterday (Day 58), I told the story about the list I wrote to attempt to attract my ideal romantic partner, and how through my journey I stopped even looking for this partner because I felt complete and full of joy with the life I had created from my self-love. When my pendulum calmed down to the relaxed position where I was at peace. I became ready to see the door to allow space for a healthy relationship to enter my life. I prayed:

“God, if you have a person you feel would be a good fit in this life I love, please make the space for him to come in.”

I had to open the door in order to allow the manifestation of this energy to come back to me in the way I had originally asked for—I was ready when he arrived at my door.

About three years after the relationship began, I found all my lists and letters to the Universe. I couldn’t believe how many check boxes he filled on this very long list. This didn’t mean the relationship has been perfect. I had to learn with my request for my partner’s actions to tell me he loved me, meant I didn’t hear “I love you” for a year into the relationship. His actions told me…I got EXACTLY what I asked for. The Universe can be quite literal.  I also have gotten plenty of lessons on the things I still need to work on. I can tell when I get triggered; I have some self-examination to get into. I’m attracting back what I put out. If I’m faced with fear, I have to look at where the fear is coming from inside of me.

I have learned how to attract an abundance of love to my life, not just in my romantic relationship, but also through my relationships with family, friends, nature, community, and thanks to this blog and the From A Loving Place Facebook page, globally. I love, honor, and appreciate all the love I’m able to give out, and what I’m able to attract back to me. I visualize the infinity symbol when I think about how the energy of love works. This energy is available to ANYONE who wants to jump into this stream of loving energy.

If you haven’t been reading the series or if you need a reminder, this doesn’t mean challenges aren’t going to come your way. This doesn’t mean that you won’t get knocked off your feet from time to time with a life lesson. This doesn’t mean that good people, animals, and other life forms won’t die and cause you tremendous grief. My perspective of truth tells me there is a reason for all the pain, hardships, loss, and devastation. I believe in Divine purpose. I believe every life serves a greater purpose, sometimes that means the life won’t be with us long. Other times the life may last over 100 years.

If I attract a life to mine that only is in my life or on this planet for a short time, I need to look at what that life brought to my life (remember we are looking at this from a perspective of love, not fear). This could be a human, animal, or any other living organism that we’ve chosen to love and be loved by. Any life that was touched by the life that was lost got to experience the magic, compassion, blessings, joy, love, laughter, empathy, tenderness, and peace that love brings to our lives.

The more self-love we have, the more we can feel the love that is coming back to us for whatever time we have been blessed with. We also stop confusing love and fear and the feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions that come from each of them. When we stay aware, there is always more love available to us if that is what we are attracting from our own inner well of self-love.

We have to become a self-filling well of love so that we can create that beautiful garden in our minds. Our self-love nourishes our gardens and makes the space grow and expand to attract more beautiful species into it. These are the seeds we get from the love that we’ve attracted to our lives. Each life that touches ours comes with blessings. Even if it takes a lot of pain and time to find the blessings—They are there waiting to be discovered.

How much love do you want to attract to your life? Whatever the answer is, that is how much love you have to give yourself. Don’t be afraid of your own capacity to love. Once you sort through the layers of blocks that keep you from attracting love outside of you and the perspectives of truth that keep you from giving yourself the love, attention, and affection you deserve, you will be set free to project, manifest, and attract love all over the place. The awe of a bird soaring in the sky might bring you to tears. Seeing a waterfall can make your heart sing. Watching the clouds roll through could inspire joy within you. You may start crying at any sentimental moment you watch on TV or video, but it’s not longing it’s feeling the love within you swell up. The world begins changing before your very eyes. The people who come into your life whether it be in person or across the world are tremendous gifts of the love you are putting out there. Stay in gratitude! You will attract so many blessings to your life.

This energy can’t be faked. You can’t pretend to love yourself and expect to have the good flowing into your life. You have to fully feel the love inside of you first to attract the love you actually want. If you don’t, you may attract a person who says the words, but the actions don’t match up. We attract whatever energy we project out into the Universe. Believe me, I know. I attracted a narcissist to my life trying the fake it until you make it method of self-love. I got a very long lesson on how important it was for me to love myself and create healthy boundaries.

Just for Today

Investigate these thoughts:

  • Are your doors open to attract the love you want into your life?
  • Are you treating yourself the way you need to in order to attract the love you want to you?
  • How do you need to invest the time in you to attract more love in your life?

When you notice how magical this process is, you will never be the same.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 59 – Attracting the Energy of Love to My Life

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 58 – Manifesting Love through Self-Love

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 58: Manifesting Love through Self-Love

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”

-Lucille Ball

Are you ready to create love in your life? This can be romance, friendship, familial, animal, nature, communal, and/or global. You know when you are ready by the amount of love you have for yourself. The more love you have for yourself, the more love you can manifest in your life. The greatest gift of the writing I do and the life I live is the amount of love I have to give and the amount I’m able to receive. There is never too much love to give or to be given. The illusion of giving too much comes from giving ourselves away, and that isn’t about love. We have to love ourselves first so that we don’t give ourselves away (Day 28). We are responsible for seeing our own value and worth (Day 52). This makes it possible to create healthy boundaries from a loving place (Day 53). This is how we make the Law of Attraction work for us.

One of the first things I did to manifest the love I actually wanted in my life was to make a list of what I wanted in a romantic partner. This list was a few pages long. I didn’t leave anything out. Now, this list was different than any of the lists I have ever written. When I wrote this list I was conscious of how energy works. I had to make sure my energy was matching what I said I wanted. Then I had to make sure nowhere on this list did I make this wonderful person responsible for my feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions. I didn’t focus on the future plans that I wanted with the person, because as I’ve said before in the series, that creates expectations and we stop seeing the person in front of us. I focused on the person and the qualities I was looking for. I was very careful not to put the energy of against into this list. This is similar to what I was talking about on Day 57 about representing the energy of what we stand for. It all falls under the same concept. Making this list was only a small piece in the puzzle.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”

-Oscar Wilde

The larger piece was having to turn the list around onto me, because we can only attract what we already have inside. This is where the real work came in. This is why the list plays a large part my 35-Day A Better Me Boot CampThe love affair we have with ourselves, is the most important of all love affairs we will ever have. It dictates how every other love story in our lives will go. Including our spiritual connection with the Creator of Universe itself. We have to know self-love before we can even begin to accept the love that our Creator has for us. Just like any other love, we will sabotage any level of love that goes beyond the love we feel for ourselves. We inject our fears into the love, which creates the stories of not enough, too much, and expectations. All these things are apart of our own self-sabotage.

The original list became the list of things I needed to work on to manifest this love outside of myself. During this process, I stopped seeking love outside of myself because I found my joy and peace within myself. I started manifesting amazing friendships, adventures, and opportunities to experience so much love. I felt full and complete within myself. I didn’t feel like my life was missing anything. So much so, that for a little bit I went to the other extreme of not allowing the Universe to make space for romance to come into my life. I see it like the pendulum swinging. I went from one extreme to the other, then with time settled into a relaxed place in the middle. I will go more into all the things we can attract by manifesting this love in our lives on Day 59.

Turning the list around onto what I needed to do and how I needed to work on treating myself was the inspiration for so much of the work I do now with individuals who are struggle to live life from a loving place. It all begins with us seeing and loving the people we are. I accept the lessons this body has to teach me, so I love my body for it. I accept the lessons my circumstances have to teach me, so I love my life for them. I accept the lessons that people come into my life to teach me, so I love what I have the ability to create from my experiences with them. I accept the gifts I’ve been given, so I love sharing my perspectives with others.

The energy of gratitude and love takes over our lives when we have this love affair with ourselves. We become aware of the miracles self-love creates in our lives and in the lives of others who are able to accept the love that we have to give. We see the world through different lens. Our prejudices, blocks, drama, chaos, and fear-based perspectives of truth (beliefs) fall away little by little. We become open to manifest love in our lives beyond what we could have ever imagined, because that love is coming from inside of us. It opens our eyes to see the love available in the world and creates more. If you’ve been reading this series, and your wondering if this is one of those times tears are running down my face…YES!

I honestly never knew how life-transforming self-love could be. I used to read thousands of self-help books that had beautiful concepts, but the problem was I struggled to apply them to my life. Self-love made the faraway concepts come to life. If you are not getting what you want from life, look inside. The answers to what we are manifesting, whether it is love or hate/fear (Day 24), all reside within the perspectives of truth (Days 42-46) we are living by and how we are using those to treat ourselves.

Love yourself enough to contribute to the changes you want to see in your world and the world around you.

Just for Today

Make your list! Create the ideal friend, partner, and/or family member to help you figure out how you need to work on having your love affair with yourself. What we want to attract from someone else is the qualities we want in ourselves. We have to make sure they are in-line with what we feel and how we treat ourselves to manifest this level of love in our lives. We will dig deeper into this in Part III.

Enjoy this journey! This is the love affair that will create true magic in your life. Don’t take it for granted.

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece:90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 58 – Manifesting Love in My Life

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 45 – Releasing Perspectives that Don’t Serve Us

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 45: Releasing Perspectives that Don’t Serve Us

“Same thoughts always lead to the same choices.”

-Joe Dispenza

When we start seeing ourselves (Day 43) and individuals in the world (Day 44) through perspectives of truth—We open our minds to change our patterns that create the chaos of our lives. We can see how expecting different results while continuing the same thought and behavior patterns is the definition of insanity. If we want to live differently, we have to choose to do things differently. That’s why the 90-Day A Better Me Series  takes the journey to see where our blocks are in Part I of the series. If we want to be better, we have to look at what we are doing that keeps us from creating an inner world abundant with light. Remember the Law of Attraction? If we are abundant inside— We manifest abundance around us. Do you want to be creating an abundance of darkness (fear)? I know I don’t! I want to be creating an abundance of love, adventures, passion, prosperity, and connections (light).

If a person has the perspective of truth that tells them self-care is selfish that person’s belief systems are sending energy messages to the Universe that say things like:

  • I can’t take care of myself, so it is someone else’s job to take care of me.
  • I need people to give me value.
  • I’m not worthy of my own time.
  • I will give myself away for whoever gives me attention.
  • I’m a doormat, come walk on me. I like the attention.
  • I’m unlovable if I’m not giving myself away.
  • I’m selfish if I love myself, so you have to fill that hole.

That is just a short list, but it can vary depending on the person. Some people will give themselves away in their romantic relationships, familial relationships, and/or friendships. Others will give themselves away in their jobs and/or places they serve. The self-care is selfish perspective of truth is not putting the oxygen on ourselves first. It is letting ourselves die and sacrificing the care we can give to others. I don’t know anyone who lives a healthy lifestyle who gives themselves away. Self-care represents self-love. We have to have love for ourselves before we can authentically understand it in others.

When we choose perspectives of truth created by fear, it affects how we treat the world and how we interpret the world treating us. We become victims of the world. We become victims of  life. We see the world through the eyes of the victim role. Our perspective of truth tells us we are victims. So if we want to unravel the perspectives of truth that got us here, we have to go back and try to figure out where these belief systems came from and uncover if they are worth holding onto. When we hold perspectives of truth led by fear. Our perspectives will affect feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions.  It injects fear into every situation. We will treat our reality through the eyes of the perspectives of truth we choose to live by.

IMG_2197-004

As individuals we have to dig deep. If you’ve been with me since the beginning and been doing the “Just for Today” sections look at the fears (Days 3-6), shame (Days 7-12), blame (Days 13-17), judgment (Days 18-21), hate (Days 22-25), and the mirror (Days 27-30).  If you haven’t been with me and you truly want to stop repeating patterns that don’t work for you, go back and look at these sections. Investigate the belief systems that created these patterns of feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Do you need them anymore? Which ones are you ready to give up? We no longer can blame the people who raised us or the circumstances in our lives—This transformation is in our hands. We have the power to make today a different day. It all starts with the steps we choose to take. First, we have to release what no longer is working for us. We have to look at what our perspectives of truth have created our realities to look like.

“If you strike without compassion against the darkness, you yourself enter the darkness.”

-Gary Zukav

This process is not a one-day step. This is a process that will take years of weeding through our unstable foundations created layers of old beliefs like I’ve talked about before. Be patient with yourself. With each step we take we become lighter. Show YOURSELF compassion during this process! Otherwise you are going to keep yourself in the dark energy you are trying to shine light on. Just simply choose to do the best you can and if you feel like you were challenged and you failed, learn from what you saw yourself do. Learn from how you felt, thought, and acted in the situation. This is the work. That’s how we get better and live better.

Self-abuse (Day 29) keeps us in the dark. By working on releasing perspectives of truth that no longer serve us is a VERY good place to start. Just imagine the beautiful gardens we can create once we get rid of the old belief systems that are like smothering vines and weeds taking over our beautiful gardens (inner world). We have to weed out what keeps dulling and killing our gardens. We have to give space to the flowers, trees, and plants so they can each see the light that nourishes their growth. We have to take the time to care, love, and nurture our gardens so that the shadows and the darkness don’t overrun them.

“The smallest change in perspective can transform a life. What tiny attitude adjustment might turn your world around?”

-Oprah Winfrey

Since this installment’s post date lands on Valentine’s Day, I know many people struggle with perspectives of truth. Those perspectives can cause unrealistic expectations on partners. People can manifest horrible days by cursing the day. Individuals can create a negative desperate energy around them so that they attract toxic people to their lives. There are other perspectives of truth we can choose on days like Valentine’s Day, whether we have partners or we don’t. Watch where your head goes—Are your perspectives of truth about Valentine’s Day serving you? Which ones are you ready to release?

Just for Today

It’s time to pull out the journals. At the top of each page write a perspective of truth you’ve been choosing to believe that you don’t feel serves the person you want to be. Don’t write anything else on the page. I listed the days you can find each section above to help you easily navigate the areas you might want to look at. Just scroll down on this page and you will see the “Categories” section where you can bring up the entire 90-Day A Better Me Series.

When you are ready to take this step, you will begin to see some beautiful shifts in your life. You might notice things in nature more. You might be touched by more stories of perseverance, strength, hope, love, compassion, and courage. You may meet new people who share your excitement (This is how I met one of my closest friends 11 years ago). Just be aware and pay attention—Miracles are abound!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 45 – Releasing Perspectives that Don’t Serve Me

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 39 – Getting Comfortable With the Unknown

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 39: Getting Comfortable With the Unknown

Dear Universe,

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I can’t predict the future. I know worrying, anticipating, and putting energy in what I think should happen puts a lot of pressure on me. That doesn’t fill me with loving energy, that fills me with fear. What I can do is control the energy I put into this moment. I can get comfortable with the unknown because I’m choosing to make this moment count. I’m holding myself accountable for my feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions that I am experiencing now. By doing this, I can put my best energy forward. I don’t I have the power to change the unknown future by taking my energy out of today. It’s what I do today that matters.

I know that anything I experience is for a reason. If I don’t want to set myself up to fight reality I don’t have to put pressure on myself to work for an unknown future. I can work for the life I want right now in this moment. I can make sure I’m using my energy wisely to make choices that create a loving energy within and around me. I can focus my energy on being accepting of what is and what my energy has created so far. Living in acceptance of my past, present, and unknown future widens my perspective to make healthier choices for myself, which in-turn is better for the people around me.

I’m getting comfortable with the unknown. I’m enjoying the fact that I don’t know. I’m here, right now. That is an incredible gift to be grateful for. I’m getting more and more accepting that when plans change, that it’s okay, because it all works out the way it is supposed to. I’m getting comfortable with making plans in a moments notice and seeing the blessings the adventures bring. I’m getting excited for the wrong turn when I find a scenic view that I never would have seen if I had stayed with my GPS. I’m learning to embrace the moment when things don’t go they way I thought they would. It’s just a reminder that nothing is set in stone and it opens me up to experience the unknown in a more present way. With a healthier energy my life will attract healthier people and situations.

The Law of Attraction works with the energy I’m focusing on, so my focus is on making sure I’m living the life I want to be living now. If there are things I don’t like, I have the power to change my perspective, remove myself from the situation, or stay in my darkness. The choice is mine. Today, I’m focusing on projecting my light on the unknown.

I no longer want to miss the life I’m living because my head is stuck in the past or the unknown future. My energy belongs in today, so I can enjoy the unknown with peace in my heart.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 39 – Welcoming the Unknown

If you haven’t been following the 90-Day A Better Me Series and the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series, you can catch up by scrolling down and looking under categories. Enjoy the journey!

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 38 – Being Secure in Our Present Moment

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 38: Being Secure in Our Present Moment

“One thing we do know: Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at this moment.”

-Eckhart Tolle

We can easily get stuck in the trap of what we think should be happening at this very moment. Guess what, IT ISN’T! Nothing should be happening different than it is in this very moment or it would be happening. We aren’t supposed to be farther along. We aren’t supposed to be without the challenges we have. We aren’t supposed to be feeling different than we are. If we are stuck in the cycle thinking things should be what they are not, we are projecting an idea of a future on our present moment that doesn’t belong there. There is a difference between having goals and shoulding the joy and peace right out of us. You are EXACTLY where you are supposed to be in this moment.

Whatever lesson is in front of you is the one you are supposed to be experiencing. It doesn’t matter if it’s an easy flowing lesson that we breeze through or a hard-hitting knock our asses to the ground lesson that has us questioning our faith and/or anything and everything we believe in. Each experience is a necessary step in our journey. The sooner we can accept the importance of the moment we’re in, we can feel secure and open to receive the gifts that come with the experience. We may need to be questioning our beliefs to open our perspectives and break us open to experience a new level of faith, but sometimes we can’t do this if we are clogged with old beliefs that don’t allow this to happen. The struggle that you are facing right now could be the one that breaks you wide open to experience life in a whole new way. You can only find out if you move out of your own way and accept the moment.

If we are so lost in our struggle of not having enough, not being enough, and not giving enough; we are stuck in the energy of fear/lack. Here is where we see the Law of Attraction come into play. All we do is project that lack and manifest more things that will engage that feeling of lack. I know that isn’t what most of you want. Lack can be a projection that came from generations ago in your family. If no one in your family changed the pattern that comes with projecting lack, well it was passed to you. Now it’s up to you to change that energy if you don’t want to pass it down to the next generation. Lack is the opposite of the energy of gratitude. Gratitude is what comes from seeing the blessing in our current situations no matter how challenging they are. Gratitude is the path out of the energy of lack. We will start the section on gratitude on Day 47 of this 90-Day A Better Me Series.

IMG_2882-001

Being secure in our present moment is accepting that everything is exactly how it’s supposed to be. We are no longer fighting reality. It is was it isstops being a saying that we add BUT to like I brought up on Day 36. When we are in full acceptance of our present moment, we stop getting ourselves trapped in the cycle of judgment, which once again gets projected than manifested into even harder lessons about judgment.

There are moments we aren’t going to understand in the bigger scheme of things and/or Universal lessons. We’ve projected a lot of fear, blame, shame, judgment, hate, and overall darkness into the world speaking as a collective species. Therefor we have already manifested a lot of darkness for us to learn from. The blessing is that more and more people are becoming aware of the energy they are contributing and have starting making more and more strides at projecting light.

We’ve had people spreading light from as far back as we have stories. This is the basis of many religions, and sometimes with the influence of humans on the story, we lose the messages of love. Fear and love project and manifest two very different things. Love unites and fear divides. We have to remain very aware by what is leading us through every moment if we are going to get the most out of it. We can make every moment count by embracing a perspective that this moment is important and necessary to our growth as a person and  as a contributor to the global energy being projected.

Being secure in our present moment opens us up to taking a step that will benefit our energy that we are projecting. This is one of the current lessons I face in my journey as a writer. I have a book out to publishers and I have to trust that everything is exactly how it should be right now. If the book sells, awesome! If the book doesn’t sell, awesome! I’m doing everything I’m supposed to be doing right now in this moment and whatever experience I’m meant to go through I will because that is what is. I can have goals, but it is the steps I take in each moment that count. It is the energy I give to the moment that will create my pathway of learning experiences. That’s why today I’m choosing to enjoy the journey! My perspective on my reality is my choice. It doesn’t matter how many people try to influence how I see my life—That is their business. Whatever they are projecting is on them. What I choose is on me. I’m choosing to be secure in my present moment. What you do is up to you.  Choose wisely!

Just for Today

If you think you should be anywhere but where you are in this current moment, or you think you shouldn’t be experiencing something you are experiencing right now, take out your notebook and write down how you could view your current situation through eyes of acceptance. What does that look like? How does that feel? What do you think you can learn from your current situation? What areas of fear are keeping you trapped from experiencing the moment you are in? What energy are you projecting into your current moment? Is that what you want to be manifesting more of? What can you do right in this moment to change the energy you are projecting? If you struggle with finding actions to take to get yourself out of the mindset you are in, PART III is all about action steps. Make sure to follow along with the 90-Day A Better Me Series by scrolling down and following via e-mail, Twitter, Facebook, and/or on WordPress. Enjoy the journey from this moment you are in right now!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

Today’s Letter from a Better Me “Embracing Where I am Now”. Invest your time in a perspective that can contribute to the energy you want to be projecting to the world. Thanks for reading! I hope you can find the blessings in your day!

IMG_7224

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 25 – Attracting the Energy of Hate

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part I: A Journey of Awareness

What Holds Us Back: The Unstable Foundation

Day 25:Attracting the Energy of Hate

“Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

I never knew how much I hated myself until I attracted a severely verbally and emotionally abusive relationship to my life. I had no idea of the energy I was projecting to the world because on the outside, I was kind and loving to all the people around me. I was the friend who would do anything for anybody. I constantly ran around town like a little social butterfly and never stopped for a second to look at how I was treating myself. I had no idea at the core I felt unlovable and unworthy of being loved at all. Trying desperately, I grasped at straws for anyone to love me. I begged for love in all the wrong ways. I didn’t do ANYTHING to take care of myself or my self-worth. My self-hatred came out in self-blame and judgment of others. I would blame my childhood and my life choices for not being able to be loved. It was in the midst of one of my lowest points that I felt like a shell of a human being. I was trying to please everyone, except myself. I saw only titles (mom, wife, friend, co-worker, daughter, sister) but I had no clue of who I was. Like so many, I kept trying to find myself outside of myself. I avoided venturing in because I was scared of what I would find. I had no idea that by avoiding looking inward was the reason I was attracting (Law of Attraction) the energy of hate to my life.

When we start from a place of self-abuse and/or being the emotional victims of others (mentally not physically) and ourselves, we project out toxic energy. We can do good things; be kind to friends, strangers, and animals, but the energy we put out into the Universe will attract more traumatic life lessons. We aren’t being punished. Our Creator doesn’t hate us. The Universe isn’t against us. We are against ourselves, which hinders our personal/ spiritual growth.

A couple days ago, I talked about the energy of AGAINST (Day 23). If you have been following the 90-Day A Better Me Series, you might be seeing the problem with this. We have given ourselves the role of victim over our entire life any time we shame, judge, and blame ourselves and others. If we are victims of our lives, we attract (Law of Attraction) outer circumstances to be victims of. THIS FREAKING SUCKS!!! I know, and I have been there! We can be victims of traumatic events, natural or unnatural, without defining ourselves with the role of victim. We were victim of that particular thing, yes, but it is what we do with the experience that will change our lives for better or worse.

I kept getting these hard life lessons that were like getting bashed in the head with a baseball bat. I used that as an excuse to treat myself with more and more cruelty (violence). Looking back to how I used to talk to myself in the mirror, I can only be grateful that I learned another way to live, but it took me going through some hardcore traumatic situations for me to get here. I had to completely breakdown to the point where my only way out of the suffering was to break through it (I will talk about the process in Part II and Part III).

As I’ve said earlier in the series, I was diagnosed with P.T.S.D. I do understand that sometimes there are forces beyond what our mind is ready to handle, but I will tell you, the more I broke free from being a victim of my life, the less often I had episodes. Now, if they do come up, I can recognize them quickly, choose new thoughts, take the lesson from the episode, and move past it. Instead of becoming part of a bigger problem, the episode becomes apart of my growth…the experience feels so much better once I changed my perspective on it. Our thoughts are our choice! They are not a prison sentence.

Hate is the very energy that will endlessly sabotage anything good that comes our way. We will only attract as much happiness as we believe we deserve. If we think self-care is selfish, that will NOT help us. Without self-care we can easily become co-dependent on others to fulfill an emptiness that only we can fill. This pressure we put on someone else turns into resentment, which carries the energy of hate. Even if a relationship starts off just the way we want it, the hate will brew underneath the surface until it makes the floors so unstable that the other person will fight to match the hate or they will leave. The house we built on the foundation of hate will burn to the ground. Either way, the results are devastating. We sit alone wondering how it could happen when it started so strong.

If we can do that with one person’s personal energy, can you imagine what we do as a global community if so many people are feeding into this hate filled energy pool? We see and attract more things that attract violence and despair. How can we expect individuals to respect each other if they can’t respect themselves? We can’t know someone else’s true value to this life without judgment, until we see our own. We are all valuable, because we are here taking this journey. We each have things to learn. We each have lessons to offer. Some of us will be faced with very tough, hard-hitting lessons, but all lessons will hurt more when we resist them.

Numbing ourselves is RESISTING! Numbing is a guarantee that we will attract the energy of hate to our lives. It’s like the Universe is saying, you can learn this the easy way by facing what I bring to you, or you can learn the hard way and resist the process. The Universe has no choice but to give us lesson after to lesson until we learn and grow or shrink and die—No judgment just energy. Many of our numbing tools are literally killing us slowly. We have to make the choice to live or lives or hide in our caves. This is not the Universe being against us or judging us, this is us judging ourselves so harshly that we are scared to face the feelings that come up. The energy we put into this experience (journey through life) is the energy we will get out of it. Once again, I will remind you of the fear vs. hope exercise on Day 16. Where you put your focus is key, but the trick that many people forget to share is that the energy has to come from within. We can’t find this energy outside of ourselves. We can’t attract an energy that we don’t have. So, PLEASE be very conscious of how you are treating yourself. We attract whatever energy is at the core of how we really feel about ourselves. There is no hiding from it. We can choose to live in the muck or break free. The choice is ours.

IMG_0850-001

Tomorrow, we are going to start the journey of awareness inward. Here is a sneak peak of what is coming in the next few days:

  • Day 26: The Crumbling Foundation in the Mirror
  • Day 27:Looking for Value Outside of Ourselves
  • Day 28:Giving Ourselves Away
  • Day 29: Self-Abuse
  • Day 30:Anywhere but Right Here and Now

Just for Today

Anywhere you can, try to become aware of the energy you are projecting out without shaming or blaming yourself. Just know that becoming aware is the first step to changing the trajectory of your life. Our unknowing is simply just another lesson we must learn in order to live better. We don’t have to make it anything more or anything less.

A Reminder

This is one person’s gathered perspective. There are plenty others out there. It doesn’t mean one is right and the other is wrong, simply be open to hold on to what feels best for your life and let go of the rest. Seeing things differently is how we are all able to grow and expand. If you feel yourself judging material as right or wrong, simply try saying something like, “That’s an interesting perspective.” Just this simple phrase can do wonders to help shift our energy. It helps us leave our minds open for interpretation. We are all humans trying to interpret the information we are given the best we can. My material is supplemental to religious/spiritual practices, therapeutic processes, wellness programs, etc. No two people will ever think, feel, act, and react the exact same way. Celebrate the opportunities of the world of perspective.

I hope to see you back again tomorrow. If you missed a day, you can go to the Categories Section and pull up the 90-Day A Better Me Series. You will be see and explore all the days you missed. You can also follow via E-mail by scrolling down. I hope you have a great day! Thank you for reading.

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

Don’t forget to read today’s letter! 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 25 – Being Accountable for Attracting the Energy of Hate

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 24 – Manifesting Hate

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part I: A Journey of Awareness

What Holds Us Back: The Unstable Foundation

Day 24: Manifesting Hate

“Of one thing we can be certain: a person that is engaging in violence is hurting deeply, because a healthy and balanced soul is incapable of harming another.”

-Gary Zukav The Seat of the Soul

When we fight hate with hate, we manifest more hate in the world. This is not a judgment, it just is. I love the definition of insanity that says, “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different result.” Our focus on the problem, the problem, the problem and looking outward to point fingers has created MORE problems. We’ve gotten  to the point where people are ready to fight and engage in war at second. This could be internal or external war, whether it be in the mirror, on social media, sitting in traffic, walking through a store, in school, at sporting events. We are trained to see the worst in people, so we are capable of taking anything like it is a personal attack against us. The only thing that happens by following these feeling, thought, action, and reaction patterns is the manifestation of more hate.

When people learn about the Law of Attraction one of the things they don’t see is the Law of Attraction goes both ways. It’s not just about making a vision board, a list of what your desires are, and some positive thoughts. The Law of Attraction goes to the roots of your core feelings, ideas, and beliefs. You are attracting what is happening in the core, not what is on the surface. If you are filled with inner hate towards yourself and/or others, that is what you will manifest in your reality. This means toxic relationships, traffic incidents, problems dealing with people, money problems and that is just on a personal level. Now, lets amplify the energy by all the people focused on hate, even if they think their hate is justified. Do you see the problem here? I’m not a person who believes in accidents. Even the darkest events have purpose to teach us and help us grow. We just have to be open to learn. If we shut our minds down because old beliefs systems tell us that can’t be true, and we turn it into a war, our minds are shut down and we are once again feeding the fear/hate cycle—Manifesting more hate.

Some will blame God, politics, media, left-wingers, right-wingers, men, women, Christians, Muslims, Jews, agnostics, violent games, violence in the media, and the list goes on and on. The truth is the second we point the finger, we are responsible for the energy we’ve fueled into the global manifesting of hate. Blame is a fear-based energy that manifests more fear—Hate is the build-up of fear (If you want to read more about fear and blame, go back to the main page and start the series from the beginning or pick and choose what you want to read about).

Some even believe that this build up of energy is the reason for terrorist attacks, natural disasters, and, any and all acts of violence. Once a traumatic event happens, many of our compassionate loving energy comes out and we feel a shift, which helps restore the energy balance. Just another perspective of thought to think about…

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

Hate manifested inward can lead to some devastating internal and external consequences such as (to name a few):

  • Addiction
  • Tumors
  • Cancer
  • Pain
  • Suicidal dreams
  • Violent dreams
  • Attracting violence (Tomorrow’s installment)
  • Narcissist Personality Disorder
  • Sociopaths

To me, that is way too big a burden. This is just another reason to be conscious of where our energy is going. Like I’ve said before, none of us are going to do this perfectly. We are all works in progress. We just focus on doing the best we can, and not making the mistake to self-abuse when we make mistakes or have feelings come up. We need to allow ourselves to FEEL fully, process the feelings, and then re-frame. We can’t stuff feelings that we don’t want. That just manifests more of what we don’t want. Journaling and letter-writing are GREAT tools to process feelings to get them out of our bodies, which helps not to create toxic blocks in the body. Then using those same tools it’s easy to process and re-frame. This is the safest way to make sure we aren’t taking OUR misplaced feelings out on others, and we can stop the process of using our feelings to attack ourselves too.

Just for Today

Write a letter to yourself to help you process feelings that feed fear and hate cycles. Be as honest as you can about the feelings. Don’t run from them! This is not a letter you will share with anybody. Don’t limit or do a surface swipe, DIG DEEP!! The feelings at the core are the ones that do the most damage. Don’t worry about how it looks on paper. This isn’t a place to judge yourself for what your feeling. The most important thing is that you take full responsibility for your feelings. DO NOT blame your feelings on anyone else. They are yours! Take ownership of them. Trust me, they have already taken up residents in your body. The weight you want to carry of unresolved feelings is up to you. You don’t need anyone else to release or do anything! Write it out, burn it and turn it over! Just get it out of you. If you do this exercise, drink a ton of water and remember crying is a very good thing. Visualize your tears cleaning the window to your soul.

Thank you for reading today’s installment. I hope you will be back tomorrow! If you want to get e-mails the second each day is published, just scroll down and enter your e-mail address below.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 24 – Processing My Feelings to Avoid Manifesting Hate

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 13 – The Sharp Edges of Blame

Part I: A Journey of Awareness

What Holds Us Back: The Unstable Foundation

Day 13: The Sharp Edges of Blame

“Discontent, blaming, complaining, self-pity cannot serve as a foundation for a good future, no matter how much effort you make.”

-Eckhart Tolle

The sharp edges of blame are ready to cut at any time. No good solution comes from the negative energy of blame. When we are stuck in blame we are stuck in the problem. Even if the party we consider guilty tries to fix things we are ready to criticize that too. We choose not to work with them to come up with solutions or if we do there is an underlying resentment about it. How does this help find better solutions that are in the best interest of all parties involved? It keeps us separated.

Us against them starts wars. It doesn’t create peace, compassion, and understanding. Even if we carry an us against them mentality in our heads we are ready for war at any time. This could be a war with ourselves, partners, family, friends, and/or perfect strangers. We are just ready for the fight, and we brought something that will hurt.

We are responsible for the rewards and consequences of our actions. Everyone makes mistakes, but if we stay in the energy of blame it creates more problems, not less. If people chosen to commit a crime or they have violated us in some sort of way, they are responsible for the consequence of their choices and actions. I choose to believe in the Law of Karma, which says whatever you put out, you get back. This makes it possible for me not to attach to their negative energy by continually focusing on what they did. It gives me permission to learn and grow from the experience and it helps me find solutions to how I can help myself recover from the effects of that action so that I don’t take that energy out on someone else. Having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (P.T.S.D.), I know I can carry the darkness of that energy deep inside me and can get triggered by a random act that reminds me of the events gave me the P.S.T.D. in the first place. It is important for my health and well-being to deal and face each part of me that is still attached to that event.

I could easily stay in the blaming energy every time I have an episode, which keeps me stuck there. If I’m stuck there, I carry that blame around like a sharp blade ready to cut anybody who crosses me. I’m ready and waiting for the next time someone tries to make me a victim. I’ve been there and done that. It doesn’t feel good and it definitely didn’t do anything to help me attract the life I wanted to be living. I actually kept attracting people and situations that gave me more to point my finger at. My health also reflected the choice I made to stay in that energy. I had all kinds of internal issues going on.

Since taking on the different approach, which didn’t happen overnight, the episodes of P.T.S.D. happened less and less. They’re not as intense as they used to be, and they pass SO much faster. I’m more in control now. When an episode does happen, I’m able to learn from the experience. Healthy people and situations keep coming up in my life to help me work through whatever piece of myself I’m working on. The energy I’m putting out isn’t separating me from people, so it makes it possible for solutions to present themselves. Karma is great when what we are putting out is loving, empathetic, and compassionate energy. If you question that, tomorrow’s reading might help you dig into that a little deeper.

Be aware of where you are pointing fingers? How does that us against them or me against you energy feel in your body? If it doesn’t FEEL good, it’s not healthy for your body to be stuck in that energy. That energy is what tears foundations apart. The sharp edges make it impossible to be stable. People feel that energy coming off us whether they know it or not and we walk on eggshells trying not to get cut by it, or we keep our distance in full awareness that it’s an energy that we don’t want to be around.

Since most of my readers come from Facebook, I will give an example of how we can test where we are in our heads when it comes to the blame cycle. As we scroll down Facebook and we see posts blaming one thing or another, how does it make you feel? If it is igniting a belief in you, does it fire you up with energy that makes you angry and ready to attack? If you are against what they are talking about, does it fire you up with energy that makes you angry and ready to get on the defense? WAR, WAR, WAR! Our need to be right and make others wrong is a call for war, which can be internal or external. Even if we don’t speak a harsh word, our internal war will take a toll on our nervous system, digestive tracts, brain function, oxygen flow, just to name a few. When we are in war mode, we actually hold our breaths. We disturb the flow of our bodies by attaching to someone else’s perceived truth in a negative way.

I’m NOT innocent of letting this happen to me. I have to remember to take deep breaths, exhale all the way, and sometimes that will be all I need. If the me vs. them goes deeper, I might physically have to release the energy from my body. When I’m in a healthier place, I write it out in a letter and I burn it. I say a prayer to help me release the energy that is holding me captive to this energy. Some people will yell and hit punching bags, pillows, or use other ways to release the violent energy we feel in the body. Even jumping on trampolines can be a physical release.  When I’m not feeling as healthy, my thoughts, beliefs, and feelings about the person or idea will come out to a trusted friend. Then, I process it out loud. Most times seeing where I have let myself attach to negative energy. Walking in nature really helps me to release deeper triggers. When I’m clear, I start hearing the messages that restore my body’s flow. I do my best to remember to write those down, so I remember how to move myself out of the energy in the most efficient way possible the next time I feel a negative emotional trigger come up.

We have to take responsibility for the foundations that we are building our houses (lives) on. If we don’t want to live on unstable ground, we have to do the work to fix the foundation to make it a stable place to build on. Tomorrow, we will dig deeper into self-blame, because it is very easy to shift from not blaming others to blaming ourselves. We don’t get away from the negative energy by doing this, we only take it to a more self destructive level.

Just for Today

Test where you are with the blame cycle. Just observe, don’t judge it or try to change it. Just watch it. If we try to change it before we are ready, we won’t get to see it clearly first. We want to see it in all it’s depths. This will help you not to have to repeat the lessons that it is there to teach us about our choices. Try to stay as present as you can with how the blaming is making you feel. Even try to pinpoint what part of your body you feel it in. The more aware we can be in how we react to what we hear, see, feel, and experience will give us openings to see what beliefs are keeping us from living the life we really want.

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

If you are ready to dive into the work to create the life you want to be living, scroll down and enter your e-mail to follow this 90-Day A Better Me Series.

 

Don’t forget read today’s companion series 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series letter of the day. 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 13 – Becoming Aware of How Blaming Affects My Life

 

Enjoy the journey and thank you for reading From A Loving Place!