90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 88 – Trusting Who and What Manifests in Our Lives

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 88: Trusting Who and What Manifests in Our Lives

“You do not manifest what you want. You manifest what you believe.”

-Sonia Ricotti

When we do the work that I’ve been talking about for the last three months, we start seeing our power to create our realities through our choices in perspective. How we treat ourselves holds the key to how we are choosing to manifest. We can’t pretend our deepest fear-filled beliefs away. We can choose to heal them or suppress them. If we heal them, we manifest amazing people, events, and circumstances. If we suppress them, we manifest hard-hitting lesson after lesson until we are open and willing to look our darkness in the eye and take away it’s power.

When we see our power to create we open our minds to possibilities. We open our perception to see a world outside of the view of fear. In this world miracles unfold on a regular basis. What we manifest into our lives are the lessons we need to learn to be the best versions of ourselves, and the abundance that comes from living gratitude from a loving place. Each moment opens us up to be a better version of the person we were one step ago.

“Write your own story and trust the Universe to deliver.”

-Esther Hicks

5 Little Reminders to Help You Trust What and Who You Manifest in Your Life

  1. STAY PRESENT! This is at the beginning at many lists because it is the best thing you can do in order to not attach yourself to a story that tells you to feed your fear. Staying present helps you stay clear and conscious. You need presence to manifest consciously.
  2. Choose your thoughts consciously. Question thoughts and feelings that are stemming from fear. How are they serving you and what you want? What can you learn from feeling and thinking this way? Trust if something manifests in your life it’s to help you learn.
  3. If you believe in a Higher Power, PRAY! Connect spiritually and ask to be blessed or blocked. Trust what comes. If you weren’t blocked, trust you are getting exactly what you are supposed to get to help you be your best you.
  4. Stay in Gratitude! If you are living gratitude, you are choosing abundance. You are operating from a full vessel. You are given because of what you are projecting, manifesting, and attracting back to you.
  5. Shine as bright as you possibly can! Live life from a loving place as often as you can. Live your best life! This doesn’t mean your life will be perfect, it just means you aren’t wasting it by living unconsciously contributing to the toxic muck. Keep doing the work and remember whatever is inside you project out. Whatever you project, you manifest. Whatever you manifest, you attract back to your life.

Once we decide to commit to living life from a loving place, we shine our brightest lights. Trust feels natural instead of forced. We don’t think, I should trust God and Divine timing. We can say without a doubt, I trust the Creator of the Universe and Divine timing to provide me with what I need in each moment. If that is how you connect to the energy of the Universe. Don’t pretend to connect if you don’t, because that doesn’t work. Find an energy that you completely connect to.

When things don’t go how we planned, we can laugh and realize how attached we had become to OUR own way. We can see the stress that the attachment created and release it. Once we clear our heads, we get back to projecting the energy we actually WANT to project, which manifests into incredible experiences and adventures. The tools are all within this 90-Day A Better Me Series. There are no new ideas here, just different ways to say them. The things I’ve talked about have been passed through ancient texts, philosophy, psychology, anthropology, religion, physics, laws of energy, new age, etc. People find different ways to relate to the material.  As we dig deeper, we connect deeper. Trust the journey!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s Letter From A Better Me 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 88 – Trusting Who and What Manifests in My Life

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 87 – Being Active About What I Stand For

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 87: Being Active About What I Stand For

Dear Self,

Sometimes I can get up in the negative energy of what is going on around me, whether it is raising teenagers, on social media, or in society. I’m human. What’s important for me is to be able to take a step back and get a clear look at what I’m representing. If I don’t like what my feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, and reactions are saying and/or projecting, I have the ability to shift, grow, and change. There is so much power behind something so simply as taking personal responsibility.

Taking personal responsibility makes it possible for me to do my best in representing what I’m standing for. What I’d like to accomplish is to help myself and others to enjoy the journey inward, so that we are projecting out the energy that we WANT to see more of in the world. I want to contribute to a stronger and more beautiful energy in our physical world. I stand for love, connection, compassion, empathy, peace and overall goodness. I have to represent that in my inner and outer life. I need to check-in when I feel my own chaos. I have to take responsibility so that I can transmute it into an energy that I want to be projecting.

My mission is to empower others to be their best selves, whatever that look like to them. I want to celebrate people’s journeys in living life from a loving place.  I believe that standing to represent the sharing and spreading of love can change the political, social, spiritual, and financial environment that I live in. I want to contribute my energy to what I want to see more of in the world—Love and abundance united!

In order to represent love in the way I want to, I have to take care of me. I have to feel that love for myself running into everything that I do for others. I need to stay on top of my self-care and know that if I’m not, I’m not projecting my best energy out into the world. I’m responsible for the energy I’m putting out there and I need to be aligned with the energy I’m trying to project, or else I’m unconsciously projecting my darkness. It’s so important for me to love myself on this journey.

I’m continuously amazed at what happens when my energy is aligned. Pathways to share and spread love open up all around me. I may be inspired to write something that others can relate to. I see a quote that I feel strong about sharing. I may spend extra time talking to people who reach out to me. I come up with and create programs to support my personal mission and a way to actively participant in representing what I stand for. I may simply take responsibility for my darkness to show others that learning from our darkness is apart of our journey. I may have friends call me out of the blue who are looking to break unhealthy patterns in their lives. The people I’m meant to help show up. I trust that this journey is taking me exactly where I’m supposed to go. I need to keep taking steps in the direction of what I stand for and the expansive energy of the Universe does the rest.

What is important is that I stay true to what I stand for. I’m a big supporter of women’s empowerment, but not at the expense of disempowering others. I don’t believe that all men are pigs, or we have to take men down a notch. To me, the more I can encourage men and women to love themselves, the less likely they will be to attack or try to overpower each other. I believe that we only try to overpower each other when we still have our own darkness and/or toxic energy that needs attention. I want to help people heal that so that we can help lift each other up instead of take each other down. When I’m supporting women’s empowerment, I have to be conscious about the energy I’m attaching to while standing up for the cause. This example also helps me to remember this in my personal/ professional life as well. Apart of sharing and spreading love is to commit to trying to understand perspectives of truth that I don’t follow, because I can’t find love in what I don’t understand. My commitment to learning about others is crucial for being able to represent what I stand for in the best way possible.

I will continue to take responsibility for my feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, and actions. I’m responsible for any and all light and/or darkness I choose to spread in the world. Knowing my responsibility empowers me to make better choices.

I commit to working on myself on a regular basis so that I can be the best possible version of me. I know that taking these steps make it possible to be active about what I stand for.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m so incredibly grateful that I can actively represent what I stand for.
  2. I’m grateful for all the people who are drawn into my life.
  3. I’m grateful to the people who share my vision.
  4. I’m grateful to the people who show me how important my work is.
  5. I’m grateful for the relationship I have with myself, which allow me to change, grow, and expand on a regular basis.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 87 – Being Active About What We Stand For

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 87 – Being Active About What We Stand For

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 87: Being Active About What We Stand For

“The best political, social, and spiritual work we can do is to withdraw the projection of our shadow onto others.”

-C.G. Jung

When we are acting out of our darkness (shadow/fear), we are acting in the energy of AGAINST. We are putting our energy into what we don’t want more of. We are fighting (violence/war)! We are actually contributing to making the problem even bigger. It may improve one area, but it will cause worse problems in other areas. Representing what we stand for doesn’t have to be this way. Women like Mother Teresa knew it.

IMG_6776

Many of us will still use the FIGHT as a source of empowerment. Like I’ve said before, it’s not always about the words, but the energy that lies behind the words. To me, fight represents battle, violence, war, darkness, and toxic energy. So when I fight something, I’m making those energies in me stronger. Words have different meanings and hold different energy to different people. If I have an emotional attachment to a word it will affect me in a positive or negative way. This is MY STUFF! If you are triggered by words, that is YOUR stuff. We need to make sure that when we are triggered, we take responsibility. Otherwise, our energy can easily slip from what we stand for to what we are against.

When we are standing to represent  a person (including ourselves), a cause, a position, a perspective of truth, a political party and/or a member, etc., we will get so much farther if our energy is in the right place. If we are attacking others to make our points—We are in the dark! If we are fighting against—We are in the dark! It is a challenge to find out what people stand for sometimes. There are plenty of times I can tell you what a person is against without being able to tell you what they are for, and I’m TRYING to look for it. It pains me to see great causes put their energy into what they are against instead of what they are for. We miss steps in taking care of the people we are looking to protect when our energy is aimed at who’s to blame, judge, and shame. We miss elements of self-care when we put out energy out there to feed the fear (darkness, shadow, toxic energy). We fall into our own darkness which becomes toxic energy if it goes unchecked.

When we actively represent what we are standing for from a loving place. Our message can be heard. We don’t trigger the twelve year old defensive system of all the parties involved if they are not feeling attacked by what we are saying and/or doing, because we aren’t attacking—We are STANDING.

If you want to take actions to change things in this world, make sure you are standing. People are going to disagree. Good! Not everyone has to agree with us. We are operating from our own perspectives of truth. We are accountable for OUR OWN perspectives of truth. By standing and acting from a loving place, we may see that we don’t agree, but multiple perspectives gives us lessons, opportunities, and depth to become better versions of ourselves. Each of us has light and darkness (love and fear) living inside of us. Which one do we want to spread? Which one do we want to make stronger? This goes for our relationships, causes, positions, and/or perspectives of truth. What do we want to stand for?

From a loving place is a stand to represent the sharing and spreading of love. This means I don’t have to fight others to be right, I simply share my perspectives of truth that feeds the energy I wish to see more of. People are welcome to agree or disagree with the things I say because I know that they need to live according the perspectives of truth that feel best to them. That’s their journey. By thinking this way it helps me to actively and consciously represent what I stand for. If I stand for love, connection, compassion, empathy, peace and overall goodness in the world, I have to represent that in my inner and outer life.

Are we going to do this perfectly??? Once again, I repeat, NOT A CHANCE! We aren’t meant to do this perfectly. If we want to be compassionate and empathetic people we have to understand on the deepest of levels that we are all going to go through struggles on our journeys—Including US! Our struggles have some very important lessons to teach us.

7 Steps to Being Active About What We Stand For

  1. Get clear about what you stand for. If you hear yourself representing what you are against instead of what you are for, sit down and write! What are you trying to accomplish? How does what you are trying to accomplish represent what you are standing for?
  2. Write out your personal mission statement about what you stand for. Just like in business be clear and concise. If you need help, look on-line for the best mission statements. You will find great inspiration there.
  3. Make sure your inside mission and your outside mission are aligned. If you want people to feel good about themselves, but you treat yourself horribly, the energies will conflict. You will be working in the energy of AGAINST. Stay Aligned!
  4. Let the pathways present themselves. When you are aligned the pathways to represent what you stand for open up. This happens in relationships, careers, causes, and lifestyles. Your energy is aligned, so the work will come. You will run with it and STAND!
  5. BE TRUE TO YOUR MISSION! We may be led into a battlefield, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t stand. If our inner and outer energy is aligned, we can represent what we stand for even if people who are with us are fighting what they are against. Just don’t take the bait and get hooked into the energy you don’t want make stronger. You can help others by being clear how you want to represent what you are standing for.
  6. Take Responsibility for your feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, and actions. How you react and/or respond is ALWAYS your responsibility and EMPOWERMENT. How you choose to use your power is up to you. If you slip and fall into your darkness, take responsibility for it. If you spread your light, take responsibility for it.
  7. DO THE WORK! If you want to stay in the energy of what you stand for you have to continue to do the inner and outer work. If you don’t do the work, you aren’t being active about what you stand for. You won’t get results if you aren’t willing to dive in.

I wrote the 90-Day A Better Me & A Better Me Letter Series because of my commitment to the work. Writing, sharing, and cleaning up my own internal home is a necessary piece of my mission to represent what I stand for. Writing has helped me to stay accountable for my own energy and I’m honored to be able to share the work to assist others on their journeys. Miracles have been unfolding along this 90-day path for me as I continue to write and share the perspectives of truth that inspire me to be the best version of myself and that help me to live a life I continue to be grateful for daily. This doesn’t mean I haven’t seen my share of struggles during these last 87 day, I have. Since I’m doing the work on a daily basis, it means I’m learning from the struggles faster and they have less effect on my energy that I’m putting out. That is an AMAZING gift in itself. The point is, if you are doing the work and representing what you stand for, your journey will unfold in ways that you never expected. Enjoy the journey!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s Letter From A Better Me: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 87 – Being Active About What I Stand For

 

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 86 – Consciously Projecting Love Through My Actions

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 86: Consciously Projecting Love Through My Actions

Dear Universe,

When I got the tools to be conscious in my feelings, thoughts, and actions my world changed. My life changed when I knew that I was responsible for what I was projecting out to the world. Any feeling I feed takes on a life and an energy that emanates from me. I started asking myself what exactly do I want to be projecting? The answer—LOVE!

Once I answered that question, lesson after lesson came for me to see where I was feeding love and where I was feeding fear. Being conscious is such an amazing gift. When I know I’m feeding fear, and I’m willing to look at it and question it, I take away fears power over me. My light shines on my own darkness. This makes it possible to consciously project love through my actions.

When I hug someone, I’m really hugging her/him with all the light inside me. If I don’t feel comfortable hugging someone, I don’t hug them. When I’m listening to someone, I do my best to stay present with them so that they know that I’m fully there. When I pray for someone, I put all my love and light into the prayer and I don’t pray to get my own way. I remind myself of my straw-holed view of the whole picture. When I volunteer my time, I give my time completely so that the cause I’m supporting gets the best parts of me. When I put dinner on the table, I show up fully and disconnected from any and all technology. When I agree to work with people, they get my full dedication to the process of transformation. I love what I have to offer the world through my actions when they are projections of love.

I love my relationships since I started taking responsibility for only my energy. This way, I know when I need to apologize and I know when I give love authentically. If I’m not, I can question my feelings, thoughts, and actions to bring me back to love. It’s an AMAZING blessing to have these tools.

It’s my intention to project love through my actions on a daily basis. It is my responsibility to check-in and care for myself so that I’m consciously making choices. I’m so incredibly grateful for the tools to do what I love naturally. I’m guided to all the right places when my energy is aligned with the light within me.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful that I can choose to be conscious of my choices
  2. I’m grateful that I’m empowered to take loving action
  3. I’m grateful that each minute I get a choice of how I want to live it.
  4. I’m grateful that I have people around me who project love.
  5. I’m grateful to know I can choose love no matter what another person chooses.

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 86 – Consciously Projecting Love Through Action

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 86 -Consciously Projecting Love Through Action

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 86: Consciously Projecting Love Through Action

“Nothing will work unless you do.”

-Maya Angelou

When we are aligned with the love within ourselves, we project love consciously. We don’t try to project love. We don’t try to project joy. We don’t try to project hope. WE DO IT naturally! We are projecting out our authentic selves and we are conscious of it. We are led to ways to act out the love we are projecting. One of the Phrases I use in my life is that I’m God led. People will call it all kinds of different things. What we choose to call this energy is our unique connection to it. It will not look the same for everyone. It doesn’t have to.

What is important is that we trust that the love flowing through us will lead us to truly LIVING our best life. Consciously projecting love through action is our gift to the world. When we open up to see the love within ourselves, we see the love the within others. We project it, which manifests more of it in the world, and then it is attracted back to us. We know longer close our minds to other ways of seeing love in action. If we are blocking ourselves from seeing love through eyes that don’t look the same as ours, we are still not going to experience the full power of the Divine love that is flowing through us. The energy that connects us beyond any difference in color, belief, culture, and/or lifestyle—LOVE!

“Love is action. It’s clear, it’s kind, it’s effortless, and it’s irresistible.”

-Byron Katie

Consciously projecting love through action is a dedication to remain open to see love and project love. Someone else can hate who we are and what we represent. We are still able to project love. Someone else’s darkness and/or toxic energy can only affect us if we let it. If we choose to dim or turn off our light switch is up to us. The key is to remain conscious as much as we possible can. We have the tools. We just have to use them.

For a long time I searched for the path, but the truth is we are on the path. We just have to consciously walk it. When we walk it consciously we see our opportunities to project love through our actions. It may be as simple as a hug, conversation, and/or giving conscious time to another person. It also can be the causes we stand for and what we do to represent them from a loving place. Each small act we do to project love matters.

5 Ways to Project Love through Action

  1. To be conscious you must be present. If we aren’t present, we can confuse projecting love with projecting fear. If our inner people pleaser comes out—Fear. If we serve because we are thinking of the consequence of not serving—Fear. When you are present you are conscious enough to question your thoughts. You know when something feels right to do and when it doesn’t.
  2. Use your tools to center yourself. Prayer, meditation, breathing, stretching, etc., whatever you’ve found to help you stay in your light—Be there.
  3. Stay in the journey. Keep your head in the journey, not the destination. Each step you take is important to your journey. If your head isn’t where your feet are walking you can lose your footing, trip, fall, and/or get lost. When you are lost you have to do the work to get back on your path within you before you can get back to projecting love out.
  4. Make sure your words and actions are aligned. You can only project love through action if you are aligned.
  5. ACT! Give what you are led to give! Do what you are led to do! Project your love into actions that will inspire others to open up to the love within them. Remember, you can’t make someone plant the seeds you give her/him. Our gift is to give it. If a person is too lost in her/his darkness that person may not be ready to plant it. That is apart of their journey. Some people will need lesson after lesson before they are willing to see the love that someone offers them. If they can’t spot it in themselves, they won’t be able to see it in you. Don’t let it stop you. You don’t have to be in someone’s life to perform a loving act. A prayer has more power than you can possibly imagine. If you start feeling the urge to get your head (Internal home) fearing them or for them, pray (love) instead.

We can encourage people to act through love or we can encourage people to act through fear. Which one will you choose? Whatever one you are projecting is the one you have chosen. When we are conscious we choose wisely. When we are taking care of ourselves, we choose love naturally. When we are neglecting ourselves, we unconsciously choose fear.

If we fuel or excuse another person’s acts of fear, hatred, bigotry, entitlement, abuse, bullying, name-calling, harassment, revenge, vengeance, and neglect— We are projecting fear through our actions and/or inactions. This doesn’t mean we go to war. This means we stay true to the love within ourselves to counteract all the fear with acts of love in our feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, reactions, and responses.

Most of us will not do this perfectly. I know I sometimes can be triggered to choose fear first and that’s okay as long as we allow ourselves to learn from our reactions, we have the ability to turn the fear into love. Beating ourselves up about it won’t get us to back to projecting love faster, compassion and empathy for ourselves does. Choose wisely!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s Letter from A Better Me: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 86 – Consciously Projecting Love Through My Actions

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 85- Using My Creativity to Help People Find Their Tools to Build From A Loving Place

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 85: Using My Creativity to Help People Find Their Tools to Build From A Loving Place

Dear Self,

I’ve learned so much on my journey and my life has transformed from living a life of insanity to living a life from a loving place. I have to be creativity in order to stay open to the possibility of my life being better. I have to fully engage in the process of living, changing, learning, growing, and expanding. All those processes took doing the work in order for new ways of living to take hold. Now, I’m using my creativity to help people find their tools to build from a loving place. I know that I can’t make anyone choose to live from this place. That is a choice that is up to them. I can find creative ways to show them how living this way has changed my life and what it has helped me create. If they are inspired, they will want to strip down their foundation of fear and replace it with a foundation of love, so that they to can build a life from a loving place too. I know each individual has his/ her own path. My work may simply just be a seed a person takes a long the way. He or she may choose to plant it, hold onto it, or just throw it away. Those are their choices. I’m just happy to have a seed I feel is worth giving. I’m not responsible for the upkeep and care of someone else’s garden. I just need to love, honor, and respect mine enough to take care of it so I keep producing the seeds I want to be spreading.

I love what has happened to my life by allowing my creativity a place to shine. My letters, gratitude lists, perspective work, nature photography, and collages help me to keep my mind focusing on possibilities daily. When my focus is here I feel my life growing and expanding. I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be right now. I know longer put myself in any mental prison with my fears. I love having the opportunity to pass on the things I’ve learned to help others find the tools that work for them.

My gratitude fills me with such abundance and joy. My heart is overflowing with passion for the work that I do for myself and for others. I would love for others to have to opportunity to feel this way too. Living life from a loving place is inward journey that creates miracles in our physical world. It’s living in connection. I absolutely love connecting to people who are choosing to live from a loving place because the energy is palpable. I feel the AWE for life when I see and feel the AWE in others—Its part of the magic of this journey! I’m brought to tears with just the thought of it.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for the ability to pass what I’ve learned onto others.
  2. I’m grateful for getting to live from a loving place daily.
  3. I’m grateful for all the relationships that were created from a loving place.
  4. I’m grateful for the tools I have to get me back to a loving place when I’m lost in fear.
  5. I’m grateful for every step I’ve taken that has led me to where I am today.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s companion piece : 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 85 – Giving People Tools to Build From A Loving Place

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 85 – Giving People Tools to Build From A Loving Place

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 85: Giving People Tools to Build From A Loving Place

“Creativity is the person-centered process of imagining possibilities and taking embodied expressive action to make your ideas real.”

-Marta Davidovich Ockuly, PhD, 2019

On this 90-Day A Better Mejourney we have covered a lot of ground. We have looked at what holds us back (Part I), what launches us forward (Part II), and now we are well into living the journey (Part III). In these final days of the journey we will be covering how to consciously project love (light), engage in what we stand for, embracing what we manifest, being the change, and leading by example.  There is one tool very important tool you will need to engage if you want the best results and to completely submerge into life as a better you—CREATIVITY!

Take in the definition of creativity above given by Dr. Davidovich Ockuly. REALLY take it in. If you have any thoughts or perspectives of truth within you that tells you that you aren’t a creative person, read this definition again and again. YOU ARE CREATIVE! Each of us has a purpose where we need our creativity to shine through in order to bring our purpose into fruition. We make our soul’s purpose come alive when we engage in our creativity.

When we block our creativity with beliefs such as, I’m not a creative person. We sabotage our gifts; we create unnecessary blocks for ourselves. We conjure a struggle where their doesn’t need to be one. We are creative. We were made creative. We just need to find our own unique creativity. When we do that—

We find our power! We use creativity to better our lives and give others seeds to better theirs on a daily basis. What we do may not be a piece of fine art, a best-selling book, viral memes or videos, mind-blowing photography, a jaw-dropping performance, and/or an award-winning garden. We use creative to project and manifest AWE in our lives. The work is engaging in our creativity.

If we want to give people tools to build from a loving place, we not only have to be creative, we have to inspire the creativity within them. We don’t know what someone else’s creative path is, but what we do know is if we help others see themselves clearly, we are giving them the tools to go within and see their gifts. Here’s an example: I’ve read countless books, gone to thousands of workshops and classes, had many challenging life experiences, practiced spirituality and religion, and experimented with using my creative mind in all kinds of way. I needed to do all those things to create the 90-Day A Better Me Series. I had no idea when I started my blog that I would be led to write this. It just kept unfolding, because I trusted the process. I was open to the possibility of giving others tools to live better. I had to go through the process to see the possibilities in order to write everything that has come to me.

When we engage our creativity our minds are open. When we suppress our creativity our minds close. We don’t see possibility. If we don’t see possibility we are stuck in the cycle of insanity. When we are open—WE LEARN, GROW, AND EXPAND. When we do that, we have the ability to give people tools to build from a loving place.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

P.S. I wanted to give my former professor, Dr. Marta Davidovich Ockuly, a special thank you for this beautiful definition of creativity. Thank-you for being who you are and creating what you do. You are an inspiration.

Today’s Letter from A Better Me: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 85- Using My Creativity to Help People Find Their Tools to Build From A Loving Place

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 84 – Keeping the Toxic Energy Out of My Internal Home

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 84: Keeping the Toxic Energy Out of My Internal Home

Dear Self,

I’m responsible for any darkness that turns into toxic energy in my home. I’m the only person who can keep it out. If I have attached to someone else’s toxic energy it’s because it exists in me. It may look different, he could be an abuser and I may be a recipient of his abuse, but I only accept his abuse if I’m abusing myself inside, which would be my toxic energy. I’ve been there and done that, no need to do it again. I couldn’t think of a better reason to STOP abusing myself. I can’t make others change their toxic energy, but I can change my own. I’ve come along way from the days where I accepted unacceptable behavior from others and/or myself.

Now, it’s about making sure the toxic energy doesn’t come back in to germinate, grow, and expand. The only way I can keep this from happening is get the lessons from the darkness that enters my world, and turn on the light. Toxic energy can’t grow in my internal home if I don’t attach to stories about the past or future. When I’m present, there is no story. I can deal with what comes up in the moment.

When I’m present, I’m aware. I can learn from whatever darkness starts to stir inside of me because I can get a clear view of it. I don’t have to let it turn into toxic energy. Toxic energy is what creates the toxic patterns that get me into trouble. Addictions are birthed and fed in toxic energy, so I need to be aware if I start doing anything to the extent of addiction, because succumbing to addiction is just another form of self-abuse. I can’t numb my darkness away; it only would turn into a fast growing toxic force field around my life. NO THANK YOU! I will choose to stay aware.

If I stay aware, I can check-in with my perspectives of truth easily. If I’m triggered, I can look at if I’m attaching to a perspective of truth that grows hidden toxic energy within my walls. When I stay aware, I can change my perspective of truth to serve the life I am choosing to live.

If I want to continue to consciously choose how I live, I have to keep doing the work. If I don’t do the work, the toxic energy has space to grow. My self-care is so important. Even my connection with God struggles if I’m not doing the work. When I used to get too caught up in my story, because I wasn’t doing the work and staying present, I blamed God for what was happening in my life. I wasn’t learning and growing from the important lessons I was getting, I was using them as an excuse to self-abuse.  I was giving my power away and I was even the victim of God in my story. NOT GOOD! When I do the work, I choose to live my best life and my connection with God is solid and healthy which engages my light.

When I do the work, I keep my light on. When I’m shining my light the people who are attracted to my life are shining their own light without trying to dim mine. The people who are stuck in their darkness aren’t even attracted to me—They are repelled. That’s why I stopped taking it personal when people don’t like me. I trust they aren’t meant to be in my life. When I don’t attach to the story of why someone doesn’t like me, I’m free to continue to shine my light.

What keeps me shining bright is gratitude. I’m living in true abundance when the energy of gratitude is filling me. Toxic energy has no place to hide and/or grow. It dies! My life is full and expanding. There are no empty holes to fill, just room for growth and expansion.

When I operate from a place of abundance, I live from a loving place. I give from a loving place. I receive from a loving place.  There is nothing more fulfilling than knowing that what I’m authentically putting out there is what I’m getting back. Even my lessons come from a loving place, and I can see the benefits. It’s AMAZING TO LIVE FROM HERE!

I know I’m not going to stay in this energy every second. I will slip, stumble, and fall as apart of my learning process. I simply just do my best. I learn from my slips, stumbles, and falls on my ass and I grow. If I choose to linger in my darkness, it’s because there is a bigger lesson to learn there. It just means I need to move deep through it and see what comes out of the depths. This is an important part of my growth, and accepting that is doing my best.

This process isn’t a one or two time fix. These are the tools I need for a lifetime. I know I may forget to pick one up, forget about one, and/ or upgrade my tool chest, but the important thing to remember is that I have a choice in how I choose to grow and expand my internal home. I am the only one responsible for keeping it clean and maintaining it. I can’t be scared of the dark. I have to be willing to shine the light by repeating and expanding on the tools I’ve learned.

What’s important to me is to stay open to change, grow, and expand. This means I have to embrace my lessons and see the blessings. This is the life I’ve chosen in order to keep my internal home clear of toxic energy. Doing this doesn’t just benefit me; it benefits all the people I have relationships with. It benefits all the causes I serve. It benefits the bigger picture of this life.

If I don’t have toxic energy in my internal home, I’m not spreading it to the people around me. I’m taking responsibility for my darkness and not blaming others for my triggers. I’m whole. I AM!

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for each new day because everyone I get gives me an opportunity to be and do better.
  2. I’m grateful for all the lessons that helped me to clean my soul with my tears.
  3. I’m grateful for my ability to see toxic energy and take steps to clean it up.
  4. I’m grateful that my love is stronger than any fear that I need to face.
  5. I’m grateful I AM.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

See today’s installment 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 84 – Keeping the Toxic Energy Out of Our Internal Homes to see each step today’s letter revealed.

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 83 – Taking Responsibility for Inviting the Dark Energy into My Internal Home

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 83: Taking Responsibility for Inviting the Dark Energy into My Internal Home

Dear Self,

I’m the only one who can invite dark energy into my internal home. I trust that if I attach to a person’s darkness in the physical world and invite that darkness to stir inside of me, I’ve invited the darkness in. I’m responsible for anything the darkness does inside of my internal home. If I’m attaching to the darkness, there is a reason for it. I have something to learn from it. I have a piece of me to heal if I’ve invited darkness in to teach me what I need to learn. I am resisting learning, which is why the darkness came to my door.

I have options when I see that I’ve invited the darkness into my home. The darkness stimulates fear, judgment, guilt, shame, hate, vengeance, greed, and/or ego—Just to name a few. I can see options in my thinking that will stimulate love, compassion, empathy, peace, joy, connection, and hope. I can find reasons to look at the situation from different perspectives to see that the only thing that is trapping me in my darkness are my thoughts. I am choosing my thoughts, so I have the key to get out of the darkness when I’m ready.

I can turn on the light. My first step towards turning on the light is prayer. I pray for the courage to face myself in my darkness. I know that the person, thing, or event in my physical world only triggered me to see my darkness. Now by choosing to shine the light on it, I’m willing to look deeper to see what my dark corner has hidden. For that, I need courage. Once I pray, I like giving myself space to mediate. When I’m quiet and my breath is steady, I hear the Divine whisper to me. If I don’t hear the answer consciously yet, my next step is to go out in nature and focus on what I see, hear, smell, touch, and/or taste. This opens my senses up to receiving answers. Most times nature offers me some insight. I go and stretch through my thoughts and center myself with the Earth through the practice of yoga. I don’t usually have to go any further, but sometimes if the dark energy is just lodged down deep, I shake it out and dance. My light switch clicks on.

This is where I can spot any toxic waste and build-up that is hidden in the dark. These are my old perspectives of truth that I may have thought I got rid of but they are still lingering and spreading like mold. These are those old beliefs that say things like, People have to like me so that I have value, I’m small, I’m unlovable, I’m a victim, I’m more important than another person, I’m less important than another person, I’m nothing, I’m entitled to more, I don’t deserve more, etc. I have to look at my toxic energy that is causing toxic patterns in my life. Those toxic patterns are what I attach to in other people’s darkness. If I’m being triggered by darkness, I’m in a great space to see the secrets that are being hidden in those dark corners.

Now, I can clean it out. My self-care regimen can help me to work through these old beliefs that I’m attaching to. I don’t have space for them anymore. It’s time to replace them with perspectives of truth that make my internal home warm, cozy, safe, comfortable, beautiful, loving, and inspiring. I pray for assistance to help me transform any toxic energy into light producing energy so that I’m able to project more love out into the world. The more clarity I get, the better the job I do at cleaning up the mess. I’m responsible for the upkeep, maintenance, growth, development, and expansion of my internal home.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m so grateful for the dark energy that I invited in because it showed me what areas of my internal home that still need work.
  2. I’m grateful that I’m empowered to make the changes I need to in order to shine my light.
  3. I’m grateful to God for helping me find my courage and strength to face my darkness and take responsibility for it.
  4. I’m grateful to the people who trigger my darkness because they help me to become a better version of me.
  5. I’m grateful for all the unlimited choices I have on perspectives. I love that I ALWAYS have options of how I want to look at things.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 83 – Taking Responsibility for Inviting Dark Energy into Our Internal Homes

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 82 – Implementing Healthy Boundaries in Dark Situations

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 82: Implementing Healthy Boundaries in Dark Situations

“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom.”

-Henry Cloud

In Part II, I introduced the topic of “Healthy Boundaries” on Day 53. If you have gone through all 81 days of this series, and done the work, implementing healthy boundaries will feel natural. If you think that there won’t be lessons that come from skipping steps—You’re wrong. We have to start with establishing healthy boundaries in our loving relationships to build our muscle to be able to handle implementing healthy boundaries with people who are stuck in their darkness. We will get lessons in seeing how far we have come with our boundaries. With time, healthy boundaries stick no matter who we are dealing with. I’ve watched time and time again people trying to skip steps and expect the results from someone who did the daily work it takes to emanate self-love into healthy boundaries—I’ve been there and done that. It’s the long road. It doesn’t work, because no matter how healthy the source you are following (psychologist, author, church, guru, life coach, school, etc.) or be mentored by, YOU CAN’T SKIP THE WORK! The work is what makes healthy boundaries possible. Otherwise we come off angry and defensive in our boundaries because they are coming from a place of fear. Healthy boundaries come from love.

Healthy boundaries only can be implemented when we are healthy. We have to be maintaining healthy internal homes. That begins with a healthy relationship with ourselves. Once we have healthy relationships with ourselves, our relationships with our spirituality flourish. Once that happens we begin projecting our purest and strongest light out into the world. Once we do that, we begin learning, growing, and expanding with the people we invite into our lives. Our inner light is what creates our natural healthy boundaries.

Our boundaries are healthy and solid if we are doing the work to maintain our homes. If we don’t keep up with the work, our homes will turn into dilapidated shacks. If we don’t feed and nourish our gardens while pulling out the weeds that threaten our plants, flowers, and trees we won’t have healthy gardens. It’s that simple but as humans we have ways of making it very complicated.

Anytime we try to find the answer in someone else having to change his or her behavior, we are literally watching a weed take over our garden. We can’t MAKE anyone feel or do anything. Each of us has the free will to do what we choose. The power is not in someone else’s hands to make us happy or bring us peace. We have to make that choice for ourselves by maintaining our internal homes and keeping our lights on.

If you are looking for a narcissist, alcoholic, drug addict, sex addict, abuser, sociopath, schizophrenic, etc. to change, STOP HOLDING YOUR BREATH! People will only change if they want to change more than they want to be in their darkness. The same goes for us. The only person you can change and are responsible to change is you. Here’s the blessing of doing this work, you stop handing your mental well-being over to unhealthy people. If a person who is trapped in their own darkness has shown up in your life, they are there for a reason.

The healthier we are the faster we will learn the lesson. One of mine took ten years for me to become aware of, accept, change my perspectives of truth, and then take action. That was my journey. It was in the learning of this lesson that my healthy boundaries started to take hold, but it was still a couple of years before I learned to stop inviting this person into my internal home. He was gone from my life, but I still let him wreak havoc in my internal home every once and while. The time periods would just become shorter and shorter until the point where I can now look back and talk about the whole decade as an AMAZING learning experience that I’m completely grateful for. For me it had to get extremely bad for me to finally see my part in the toxic relationship. Once I saw that, I began to heal. It stop mattering what he did to me, my focus turned to what I did and could do for me in order not to repeat unhealthy patterns of my past or create new ones.

You are building your healthy boundary muscles. You need to trust that if you let a person who is trapped in their darkness into your internal world, you have the opportunity to learn. Don’t beat yourself up if you slip, give in, and let your thoughts about them stir and wreak havoc in your inner world. Trust the process. What can you learn about the obsessive thoughts that are going through your mind? They are your thoughts, so you can change them, but only if you want to. Remember, it’s not about what someone did to you; it’s about what you can do for yourself to make your life better for having learned something from the darkness. The following steps are in no particular order. The more we practice using these tools, the stronger our healthy boundaries become.

10 Essentials to Implementing Healthy Boundaries in Dark Situations

  1. STAY PRESENT! Someone who is caught in their darkness will be focusing on the past and the future because that is where the stories are. Stay here and now. Only right now matters. You can only make healthy choices when you are in the healthiest of spaces and that is in the present moment. Once your head gets you lost in a story, bring yourself back to now. Take a second feel the life running through your hands. Feel your breath. Look at a focal point. Do whatever you need to do to get yourself back in the present. Otherwise slipping into the darkness becomes much easier.
  2. THEIR DARKNESS DOESN’T HAVE TO BE YOURS. You don’t have to take on anyone else’s darkness (fear, hate, rage, shame, guilt, vengefulness, etc.). Keep at the front of your mind their darkness is theirs.
  3. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF. Nobody can make you feel, think, say, or do anything. You make the choice whether to engage or not to engage, to invite them in or not invite them in, support and encourage their darkness or not encourage their darkness. You can show love and compassion or meet them in their fear—You are responsible for your choice.
  4. STAY IN YOUR LIGHT! If you support blaming, shaming, and judging you’ve chosen to be apart of their darkness and you don’t have access to healthy boundaries when you are in that space. If you stay in your light, you have a full set of healthy tools. Imagine a light-filled force field surrounding and protecting you. When dark thoughts move through you pray for more loving, compassionate, empathetic, solution-minded thoughts to come to you.
  5. STAY CALM! A person stuck in their darkness may tempt to engage you in a battle. Imagine them saying those words to themselves in the mirror. This can help calm you into not reacting to their darkness with darkness. Your rage feeds their darkness.
  6. THIS IS NOT PERSONAL. People acting from a healthy place don’t attack others. If we are being attacked it’s because someone is stuck in a story in his or her head. They may have made us the vandals and/or villains in their story, but whatever the case, if they aren’t communicating in a calm and collected way, they are stuck in a dark story that they have written. You don’t have to take it personally. People are never seeing you through your eyes. They can only look through their eyes. If they are looking through lens darkened by fear. They don’t have the ability to see your light at the moment and for some they may never see your light. You have to have light inside to see light. Like the saying goes—If you spot it, you got it.
  7. PRAY FOR HELP. If you are struggling to stay in your light when faced with someone else’s darkness—PRAY for the feelings, thoughts, words, and actions to help you stay in your light.
  8. KEEP FOCUSED ON WHAT YOU STAND FOR! Make sure your energy is focused what you stand for (light/love) not what you are against (darkness/fear). If you stand for love, compassion, joy, and peace then make sure your feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, words, and actions are aligned with what you stand for.
  9. BE TRUE TO YOU. If you need to remove yourself, DO IT! Go take some deep breaths, go pump yourself up with some positive self-talk, come back centered, and/or walk away if you are in your light, trust that you are making the best choices for you in the moment.
  10. TRUST WHERE YOU ARE IN THIS MOMENT. If you tell yourself you shouldn’t be here, you aren’t going to learn the lesson from the experience. It may be a absolutely brutal experience, but it is meant to be a part of your journey because you are in it here and now. Be open to learn from the moment you are having by facing someone else’s darkness. If you fight the reality of what is happening, you are succumbing to your own darkness. You are stuck in fear. If you enter into your darkness while someone is stuck in his or hers, you are feeding the darkness and giving it strength and power to spread. If you can trust the purpose of this moment, you are feeding your light. Your force field becomes stronger.

The side effect of using these tools is the miracles that come with them. The energy we project and attract makes space for AMAZING things when our energy stays focused on the light within us. Our connections and intuition strengthen and we see the world and the people in it through a completely different lens. If you are connecting to this material, you are on an light-filled path. Trust the journey.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s Letter from A Better Me: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 82 – Implementing My Healthy Boundaries in Dark Situations