90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 67 -Celebrating What Doesn’t Work

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 67: Celebrating What Doesn’t Work

“Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”

-Garth Brooks

I’m not going to lie— This step takes some work! Celebrating what doesn’t work is a testament of our faith. It is us realizing that we don’t know what is best, and that is a VERY hard pill for many of us to swallow. I’ve talked about this multiple times in the series. If we were meant to be anywhere then where we are right at this moment, we would be there. There is something to learn from the moment we are in—

No matter what that moment looks like. As soon as we open ourselves up to learn instead of wishing things were different—We grow! Wishing things were different just keeps us stuck in the hamster wheel. We won’t get anywhere! So, if we are praying for things to change, a more productive prayer would be:

Please show me what I need to learn from the moment I’m in. Help me  move past whatever is blocking me.

There maybe a much better plan for us than we could imagine, but if we don’t learn what is necessary to get us there, we will just stay in the hamster repeating the lesson over and over. We may leave one relationship and move into the next, but the same patterns show up. We may leave one job for the next and the same patterns keep repeating themselves. We think our prayers are being answered for getting us out of one toxic situation only to find ourselves in another one. Where our thoughts and prayers go matter to the energy we are putting out into the Universe. We can’t escape or pretend to be somewhere we are not, energy is energy. It’s not judging us, it just is. So, even in the moments we are not getting what we want, we need to find away to celebrate.

“Remember that sometimes NOT getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”

-Dalai Lama

If we have faith in a Creator who is the encapsulation of love, why would we think what we were going through isn’t a necessary step to help us achieve love’s full embrace? Why would we think a Being who represents love is punishing us? The only one punishing us is ourselves and maybe other humans are trying to, but they can’t break our soul. They can’t destroy the love within us, no matter what hate they may throw at us. Our love is ours. Only we can lock it up in the dark and make it our prisoner.

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My perspective of truth is that I’m being led to be able to love to my full capability. Everything I experience is a stepping-stone to build my love for myself, for Source, for loved ones, for strangers, for the environment, for animals, for the planet, and for the Universe. Each lesson I get, I can choose to learn from or repeat. My kids are definitely able to show me the ones I need to repeat. I also get to see where I’ve healed and how I’m breaking generations of unhealthy patterns. Little steps, that’s all there ever is. So I’ve learned to surrender, sometimes with tight fists at first, but eventually, I remember—I’m loved more than I can humanly imagine. Everything is happening exactly the way it needs to for each person to learn what he or she are meant to learn in this life.  We have to become aware, accept, and then we get to take action. That is where we celebrate!!

How do we celebrate what doesn’t work, the big NO, the drama, the chaos, the illness, the pain, and the struggle?

9 Ways to Celebrate What Doesn’t Work

  1. Have a dance party! Make a playlist of music that gets your heart pumping. Know that no matter what the challenge is, it is leading you where you are supposed to be. Honor the love in your heart. If you are grieving, know that you are grieving because of your capability to love. If a partner left you, or you needed to leave them, dance because it wasn’t the right relationship for you to experience your best love story. Celebrate the cancer, illness, or disability because with it you have an amazing tool to teach others love and compassion while learning how to embrace the love within you on your journey through the pain.
  2. Go do something you love. Have that amazing dinner, explore somewhere new, visit with friends, take that walk, ride, or run; drive to the beach, mountains, or desert. We will be covering this more in the days to come.
  3. Get down on your knees and pray. Stand-up, with your hands in the air, and pray. Lie down in your bed and pray. Just pray in gratitude to learn from the lesson in front of you, and be grateful for the love that lies behind it.
  4. Write out a gratitude list for everything that the “not getting” is teaching you. Write about how grateful you are for the mistakes, the lessons, the failures, and the challenges because they are giving you opportunities to learn about perspective. We make the choice how we want to view anything in our lives. We don’t have to be victims of anything that we don’t choose to. Gratitude is a perspective that says, I’m bigger than anything that happens to me. I’m the love inside me and for that I will celebrate and be grateful.
  5. Create a spot in your life for peace. It can be the bathroom, a closet, a room, a bench, a tree, a chair, etc. Wherever it is, make this your spot to go to when you need to feel peace when you thought you knew what was best for your life and it didn’t work out the way you thought it would. This is the place that reminds you that even your trials are part of the master plan. This is the place where you embrace the love within you to feel at peace with what is happening around you.
  6. Find a plant, tree, flower, and/or animal that makes you feel AWE. Celebrate the simplistic AWE of life, of creation. You are here! You are alive! That is something to celebrate. If you aren’t where you want to be, make sure you are taking a step on your path in the direction you actually want to be going. Celebrate the AWE inside of you.
  7. Create something beautiful! I personally love word collages (click here to see more) and writing, but this can also include things like gardening, painting, drawing, photography, knitting, stenciling, needlepoint, etc. Just be creative and use your energy to create something beautiful. IMG_3371
  8. Hug someone you love. Not just a few second hug. Hug them for a whole minute. Feel the life of someone you love in your arms. Listen to her/his heartbeat and yours.  Take deep breaths and match your breathing with hers/his. We can celebrate what doesn’t work by embracing what does—LOVE!
  9. Play and laugh! Bring out the childlike energy within yourself and find a way to play and be joyful in the moment. If you have an animal play with her/him. My kids and I play the try not to laugh or smile game while watching funny videos on YouTube. Appreciate the moment you are in. Laughing yoga is a fun way to release tension and play. Just play! What doesn’t work matters a lot less when we appreciate what does.

Be real with yourself. If you are feeling like the victim of something that is happening to you, be there with the feelings. Then, look at different ways you can choose to look at the situation. When you are ready to open yourself up to the possibilities of seeing things differently— Celebrate that! Don’t beat yourself up for your bad mood or dark feelings, just know that is where you are in the moment and when you are ready to move out of that moment, you have choices. That in itself is a reason to celebrate. I love seeing the world through the eyes of perspective because I’m never trapped. I can ALWAYS choose to see things differently. I can be the person who is grateful for the rain or who dreads it, the choice is mine and it’s yours too.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 67 – Celebrating What Hasn’t Worked in My Life

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 65 – Praying with Soul Purpose

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 65: Praying with Soul Purpose

Dear God,

I’m writing you this letter as a prayer. The light you give to the world inspires me to do and be the best I can. It also motivates me to live the best life possible. Please help me to connect to the light within me, so that I’m capable of seeing more of your love. Please assist me to light up the darkness within me, so that I’m contributing the best of me to the world.

God, please light the path so that I can connect with you at any moment in time. When I’m feeling down and lost in my own darkness, please show me a way out to connect to your love. Give me presence to see if I’m numbing myself instead of shining light on my darkness.

Please allow your Divine Love to embrace me and permeate through all of me. Please help me to stay calm and collected in the face of other people’s darkness. Please protect me with your light so that I don’t descend into other people’s darkness or my own.

God, please send your love and light to the women, men, and children who are struggling in the dark right now. Please help the sick feel protected by your love. Please help the addicted to shine light on their darkness, so that they can heal. Please assist the lonely to see light in a stranger’s smile.  If there is any part where I can help to spread love, help me see it.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for my connection to Source energy
  2. I’m grateful for the power of prayer
  3. I’m grateful that I can see love beyond people’s religious, political, and cultural beliefs.
  4. I’m grateful for the power of sending loving energy out into the world.
  5. I’m grateful for my choices and knowing that I’m 100% responsible for my perspectives of truth that help or hurt me.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

See Today’s Installment to get prayer techniques to help fulfill your soul purpose: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Implementing Soul Purpose to Our Prayers

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 65 – Implementing Soul Purpose to Our Prayers

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 65: Implementing Soul Purpose to Our Prayers

“Prayers are requests we make of our Higher Power to align us with a different force field, a new center of gravity and power source. This allows us to release our subconscious mind’s allegiance to our ego and the messages of the outer world that are programming it so that it can be infused with Divine inner guidance for our lives.”

-Robert Ohotto, Transforming Fate into Destiny

 I read the book Transforming Fate into Destiny by Robert Ohotto as a part of a book club in 2009 or 2010. I remember not feeling very connected to the book. Then I got to the section on prayer, and I knew exactly why I was meant to read the book. The section on prayer changed the way I prayed and it opened me up to a WORLD of transformation. It doesn’t matter what religion a person follows, the section on prayer is an eye-opening experience as he gives examples of what Ohotto calls, “ego prayers” and “soul prayers”. Before reading this book, I didn’t realize how much ego I put into my prayers. I would say I had faith, but then in my prayers I would sometimes act like I knew what was best for others and myself. It was like saying, “I trust you, BUT here’s what I see as the best solution.” We either trust the Divine Energy that we believe in or we don’t, the second we think that we know what is best through our straw-hole view (exercise from earlier in the 90-Day A Better Me Series) of the Universe, our actions say we don’t trust in the Divine’s plan for the people we are praying for, the animals we are praying for, and the world we are praying for.

My perspective of truth tells me I have a soul purpose here. I’m guided along a path that leads me to develop in ways to implement my soul’s purpose. I can’t pretend to know where the path is going to take me from day to day. When I try to plan it, God laughs. I can be very entertaining when I try to pretend I have control over the Universe. I can’t tell you how many times I just knew what was going to happen and when…Are you guessing that it didn’t happen? You’re right. Every time I pretend that I know, I’m given a lesson that tells me, NOPE you don’t. Let’s just say, changing the way I pray has helped me to put my faith where it belonged without getting attached to the way I think something SHOULD  go.

Implementing soul purpose in our prayers helps us to get out of the ego while still sending faith-filled, joyful, compassionate, empathetic, loving, and/or appreciative energy out into the world. Our soul purpose is to shine our light (love) as bright as we can. This looks different for every individual because of the tights of color that each individual brings to the light. We each are guided down paths to brighten our own lights, just because they don’t look like someone else’s light, doesn’t mean our light is less or more than theirs. So are prayers are important to the Universal energy.

I believe in the power of prayer, it doesn’t mean we are going to get the results we as individuals want, but the healing energy brought out by the empathy, love, and compassion of others shifts the energy of the planet in ways no human will ever be able to fully comprehend. The results create ripples of miracle after miracle. When we look at it from a loving place, it’s pure MAGIC!

Here are some ideas for prayers that can help strengthen our own personal energy, our energy that connects us to Spirit, and the energy that adds our unique light to the world. When I think about the energy of prayer implementing each of our soul purposes, I see it as the most beautiful image of differentiating colorful lights that bring out the feeling of AWE.

Reminder: Light = Spirit, love, joy, acceptance, unity, compassion, empathy, health, wellness, appreciation, acceptance, peace, etc. Dark (Lack of Light) = Fear, hate, shame, envy, judgment, blame, corruption, revenge, separateness, manipulation, gaslighting, etc.

Please add the name you call the Higher Power/ Creator to the beginning of each prayer you use. Make sure you are connecting to your Creator through LOVE. If certain titles bring fear, find one that represents the Loving energy of the Creator. You want to make sure you are connecting to the energy that brings out your light, and you can’t do that through the energy of fear.

Personal Light Energy

  • Source of ALL light, please help me to see my own dark corners so that I can shine light on them. Give me the courage and strength to look within and face my own dark thinking. Show me the path that will connect me to my brightest light, my soul’s purpose.
  • Please help me to see the light that I have within me. Help guide me through ways to encourage the feeling of love within myself.
  • Please help me find the path that will allow me to shine my brightest. I trust that wherever I go, you are leading the way. I trust that whatever darkness I face is an important piece to help me see my own light.
  • Please shine through me. I know I’m where I am where I am right now for a reason. Help me see the lesson I’m here to learn in order to strengthen my light. Allow me the strength to push the mental, physical, and emotional pain of my situation to find the love within me.

Light Energy Connecting Us to Spirit

  • Please give me the path to your light in dark times. Could you please light the way of the step in front of me to show me signs of how to connect with your light?
  • I’m feeling disconnected, please show me a way to feel your light right now.
  • Please allow your love to permeate through me in order to shine the light on all of who you created me to be. Please help me to connect to your healing light.
  • Please help me to connect to your love, so that I can recognize the love within me.

Adding Light to the World in Our Prayers for Others

  • Please shine light on my friend, _________________. Allow your light to work through her in his/her time of darkness.
  • Please send love to the people who are grieving the loss of your creations. Allow them to feel the light of the ones they’ve lost and the light of your love in these hard times.
  • Please help me to shine your light of love into this situation where there is a lot of darkness. Help me find the words to bring light into other’s dark. Please help me to stay strong in order to not contribute to the dark or get consumed by it. Please protect me in your light while I face the darkness around me.
  • Please allow me to see the purpose of the darkness I’m seeing in the world. Please help me to add light to any area that needs it.

 

These are just suggestions to help you to open the door. The best thing we can do in any situation is to send love and shine light. That is the only way to illuminate the dark. Spirit is ALL light. When we can connect to that Source light, we strengthen ours, and help to light up the world around us.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 65 – Praying with Soul Purpose

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hurricane Irma: A Single Mom’s Unplanned Road Trip

Growing up in Southwest Florida, I’ve experienced quite a few hurricanes. I lived in Naples during Andrew, the one that did so much damage and the reports keep comparing Irma to, saying this one is much worse. In my early twenties, I lived in Oak Island, North Carolina. I stuck around for a hurricane coming right over us, my poor family had to watch and wait in panic. As a mom, I decided category three or higher; we leave.

When Hurricane Irma turned into a Category 5, I watched her very carefully. The long term projection showed where I live now on the West Coast of Florida might see the ugliest side of her; the north east corner. My exit strategy started forming, but I gave her a little time. As she came closer, the projected path started to turn east. This is when my mind started really spinning. I couldn’t stop thinking about Hurricane Charley. The models showed a landfall more north, then it took a sudden turn and many people were unprepared for a direct hit. Hurricane Andrew hit Homestead, but Naples had plenty of damage. Another hurricane came through as direct hit on the SW side then passed through and did a lot more damage in Ft. Lauderdale then where we were. Do I stay or do I go? I left when Katrina passed over our waters and watched intently because my ex-boyfriend and his family lived on the coast of Mississippi. I remember desperately searching the Internet to find out they were all safe. His dad and stepmom were those people who were always prepared. They had a hurricane room that looked like a convenience store. In the end, it didn’t matter. Katrina stripped her to the foundation. They didn’t live that close to the water. It was at least a five to ten minute drive from what I remember. Should I stay or should I go? I knew I needed to get calm and make a decision. Florida is not like many other states. If you live anywhere in the southern half, you need to make a decision fairly early. It takes me five hours or more to get to the border of Florida. When I was in Naples it took around six and half on a good day. Now add evacuation traffic; NIGHTMARE!

On Tuesday, I really was confused whether to stay or go, but staying was causing me so much anxiety. Not because of the storm itself as much as the aftermath. Flooding, food, and transportation were stuck in my brain. Now, I’m very fortunate to have a friend who lives close to Atlanta, Georgia that the kids and I stay at every summer. I knew I had a place to go outside of Florida. Some people would say, “It’s probably going to hit there too.” Yes, it is, but from where I am. I can go in any direction to escape Irma’s path. I don’t have that option in Florida. In Florida, she will come in as a category 4 or 5, but in this area, at most a category 1. That’s a BIG difference! I spent Tuesday and Wednesday studying traffic on an app for my phone. I watched accident after accident pop up on my screen. I checked on traffic through out the night on Tuesday to see if I leave in the middle of the night, could I avoid a lot of the evacuation traffic. Luckily, the answer was yes. Gas was out all over the state, so the fear of not being able to get any came into my head. I needed to get my head on straight. Stop getting into the fear and make the best decision for my family.

I struggle with decision-making when there is a lot of chaos going on. I spoke with a friend, the more we talked, I realized my gut wasn’t telling me to stay, despite many people telling me I would be fine where I was. I needed to get quiet and pray. I sat in my closet (safe from interruption), got still, and asked a direct question, “Should I leave?” I got my answer, a very loud and solid YES! A calm came over me and I knew I made the right decision. I figured there were three options:

  1. Irma would come into the Gulf of Mexico and hit us with her worse side.
  2. She would go up the middle and get all of Florida.
  3. She would go out to the Atlantic and hit somewhere further up the coast.

Being, I really didn’t like options one or two, I asked myself would I regret leaving, the answer a resounding NO. I put my thoughts in a less stressful place because I needed a clear head while I was driving. I decided I was going to go on a road trip to see friends. Wednesday, I packed the kids, our cat, and myself up and I was good to go. I went to sleep early and set my alarm for 1AM. We were on the road by 1:30AM.

The first few hours were easy. I even could set my cruise control. I saw traffic coming up so I pulled off at a full rest area. I slipped into one of the few spots. I’m so glad I did because all the rest areas after that were packed well beyond capacity with cars and trucks lining the highway. Many travellers were taking sleep breaks because they had been traveling so long. Tears filled my eyes as I thought about all the people leaving their family, friends, and homes. As a category 5 hurricane our lives as we know it may change very quickly.

Going through Georgia took the longest because it was daytime and the majority of travellers were on the road. So many unnecessary accidents along the way because people wouldn’t give each other space to slow down. I stayed next to the shoulder and had to use it to avoid an accident two cars ahead of me.

I have lived in Florida for a good chunk of my life. I lived in Naples multiple times starting when I was in fifth grade. My children were born there. I worked there. Most of all, many of my closest lifetime friends are there along with my boyfriend and his family. I knew many of them were staying and most of them were hoping the track was going to keep shifting east.

Now, as of 5:00AM Saturday morning this massive storm is going to hit at the least as a category 4 and a possible 5. Now, my home that I share with my mom and stepdad is also going to get a major hit as a 3 or 4, along with St. Petersburg area where I went to Eckerd College and met so many amazing people. This means a huge portion of my children’s and my family and friends are now going to be on the worst side of this massive storm. As grateful as I am that I got the gut instinct to leave, and that I could keep my calm on the road because I had a familiar place to go with my kids, my nerves are still on high alert.

I am doing my best to stay present, but I’m not going to lie, my head is in so many places and with so many of the people I love. I don’t know when the next time I will be able see any of them is. I don’t know how the roads will be or how long it will be before I can get home to my family and get my kids back to their normal routines. If it will even be an option.

We didn’t take much with us besides clothes, important paperwork, our electronic devices, and a handful of sentimental items. When I was looking around at what to pack, I thought this is all just stuff. If it all goes, it won’t matter. What will matter is what happens to all the people I love.

I’m happy I don’t have to make that last minute decision wondering if it’s too late to leave and will there be enough gas to get out, but my heart, mind, and soul are there with the people I love. I will be praying and hoping that I hear from them all once the storm passes. Be safe my friends. I love you.

I have been blessed with SO MANY AMAZING people in my life. I know I’m not alone. There are no right ways to feel right now. We all experience watching an event like this from our own personal angle. Our strengths and weaknesses may be exposed, but through these traumatic experiences we grow as a global community. I am not alone. My friends and family are not alone. I just watched so many people come together to help with Hurricane Harvey. I’m watching the best of humanity come out to help with the earthquake that just happened in Mexico and the fires in Oregon, Montana, and California. Even if the media hasn’t covered some of them, good people still will show up in whatever way they can; even if it is prayer. Every piece of positive energy matters and that is what needs to be focused on. Please stay compassionate and non-judgmental towards the people in it. They are all doing the best they can with what they have. It is much easier looking at a situation from outside the box. I’m guilty of doing it and I’m reminding myself as much as I’m telling you. We don’t know what the best answer is for anyone else’s situation, and we don’t have all the cards. So please, keep the energy positive and loving.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2017

P.S. If you are new to the blog, pictures on this blog are from my personal adventures and taken by me. This featured Image is in Venice, FL. I really hope the pier is still there when I get home.

I apologize to any grammar police. This piece is very raw. I couldn’t focus on proper grammar.