90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 52 – I See My Value

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 52: I See My Value

Dear Universe,

I AM! Yes, I AM and that is enough to make me valuable. I AM complete in this very moment. I can finally see my value in being exactly where I am and how I am right now. I don’t have to be any more or any less than what I am right now to give my life value. When I do my best, learn from life’s lessons and share who I am with others, I am walking a path to shine my light brighter. That is what I’m choosing to do with my life, but that doesn’t determine my value.

The color of my skin, gender I am, way I look, things I have, money I make, relationships that succeed/fail, skills I acquire, and career path don’t define my value! With or without any of these details about my journey, I AM VALUABLE to this life.

I get to choose if my value comes from my light or my dark. Am I going to use love or fear to teach and be taught? Am I going to contribute to lessons that light (love) has to offer the world or the lessons that darkness (fear) has to offer the world? Which path I choose is up to me.

I’m choosing to spread as much love that I can. I’m choosing to give from a loving place. I want to learn from the dark parts of me how to create more love from the lessons I’ve learned from fear. I want to turn up my dimmer switch to shine brighter.

I see my value and I’m choosing to make the most of it by investing time in making me the best version of myself that I can be. I want to give to the world from that place. I want to give to the world from my sense of value and worth. I want to shine the light within me as bright as I can, so that I can help others see their own light.

I see the value in my darkness too. It is apart of me. It is a part of how I learn to be and do better. It is apart of my journey. At my times of darkness, my value is still there. My value can be in what my darkness is teaching others and what it’s teaching me. My value doesn’t fluctuate based on whether I’m feeling good our bad about myself. The only thing that changes is my ability to see it because of how much light or darkness I’m covering it with. I have the choice to be in the dark or in the light at any time. Whichever one I choose has valuable lessons on this journey of life.

My prayer

Please help me to see my value even in my darkness. Please help me to see the lessons and the ways to add light when I’m stuck. I know I’m connected to you when I choose to live in my light. The brighter I shine my light, the more I feel connected. Please help me honor that connection by accepting and loving myself exactly how I am. I know you made me with your love, please help me find ways to live in the light that created me in.

Today I’m Grateful 

  1. I’m so grateful for the gift of life
  2.  I’m so grateful for my ability to shine as bright as I choose to
  3. I’m grateful for all the chances I get to bring more love into the world
  4. I’m so incredibly grateful for the lessons that teach me the value of my life
  5. I’m grateful I AM!

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 52 – Seeing Our Own Value

Thank you to those following this journey with me. If you haven’t joined the 90-Day A Better Me Seriesand 90-Day A Better Me Letters Seriesjourneys, let’s turn our dimmer switches up together. I hope you will come on this transformative journey with us. No cost and no sign-up. All you need is an open mind and commitment of time to invest in becoming the best version of yourself. Just go to the Home page and explore.

 

Who Do You See in the Dark?

In the dark, I see you. When all the motion of the world has stopped, you are there. In the calm, you come alive. I can’t blame anyone for what I see in the dark. It’s what’s inside of me. In this place, thoughts, beliefs, and feelings fester and come alive. They can lift me up or take me down. I create stories of all my inspirations and fears. Nothing is happening in the moment. My body lies dormant on the surface. Yet, I see you.

During the rush of the day, I miss your power. I can get caught up in whatever is going on. Sometimes I’m calm and collected and other times spinning on the hamster wheel. There are days meditation seems impossible because my mind is running so fast, other days I’m able to embrace the joy and peace that come in the moments of awe and gratitude.

But in the dark, when the world is no longer calling on me, I see you. I might not always recognize you, but I know you’re there. I might not remember to call on you, but your power fills me. You are the me I’ve created in my mind. Only by seeing you, can I take control back and become conscious of the thoughts, beliefs, and feelings I’m feeding into my dreams, which feed into how I perceive the world around me. My world is dictated by this image inside my head. I have the power to create my inner world, but first I have to see the truth in the darkness. Who do you see?

Be conscious of what you create in the dark.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2018

 

 

Admitting Me Too

On social media there is a #MeToo campaign showing up after the latest Hollywood producer has been accused of multiple acts of sexual harassment. “Me too” is telling the social media world that this is a bigger problem then many people care to admit. Admitting me too, helps society open their eyes to see that this is not just a Hollywood problem. Since, I put myself out on this blog and on social media, I had no problem admitting me too. This is not something for me to be ashamed of because I wasn’t the perpetrator. I wasn’t the one doing anything wrong.

I spent as a national sales trainer in the indoor tanning industry. I wasn’t prepared for what I found on my life on the road. Having to attend countless events there was ALWAYS someone trying to use their power to get their sexual wants met. Where I had problems, I was fortunate enough to have protectors too. I started traveling for work at age 20. I wasn’t innocent to the ways of men. I knew a lot more than I care to admit. I had a fake engagement ring that I would wear on the road. This of course didn’t deter some predators, but I have been known to be too nice, so it helped me to feel confident enough without making me feel like I was leaving someone feeling rejected. Yes, I actually thought like that.

One of my worst memories was when the president of a large company I worked with on the road let people think that he slept with me. I was trying to make a name for myself and I hadn’t used my sexuality to gain any footing. I worked my butt off to get where I was. I even made sure to dress professionally without ever revealing too much just to solidify the point. I tried to go to him and he thought it was great that people thought he could be with a “young thing like me.” Yes, those words were burned in my head. I was no longer a person.

That incident led many people to question how I got to all the places I did. Another man I worked with, a devoted husband and father, was put under a microscope and many of his employees and industry members started spreading word that we were having an affair. I knew this man’s wife and children. There was NO WAY he or I would have EVER thought about even considering betraying any of them. He never made or treated me in any way that was disrespectful. Yet, he was treated like he was guilty. All for taking someone under his wing who was passionate about being the best in her industry. THAT SUCKED!!!

Eventually, I left the industry because I had slowly become a person I didn’t like anymore. I started acting in ways that weren’t as professional as I had tried so hard to maintain in the years prior. I became lost. I left the industry to move to a place where the majority of my long time childhood friends lived. I was defeated in many more ways than one. I did a few more speaking gigs and one more convention. The life didn’t fit me anymore and I was so tired of having to work against an image that was created for me by some guy who couldn’t care less about who I was as a person. I wasn’t a person: I was a “thing.”

I loved public speaking. I loved helping people become the best versions of themselves. I was good at what I did. I was proud of what I had accomplished with many of the young people I worked with in salons and at conventions. I loved traveling the country and meeting so many wonderful people. I was sad to leave. There were many layers to me leaving the industry when I did, not all having to do with the industry itself. I just happened to focus on the bad stuff at the time to rationalize being in an unhealthy relationship where the man I was with treated me like garbage: Hmmmm… a thing…garbage. The progression wasn’t obvious to me then, but it is now. I had to overcome A LOT to begin to love myself again to stop treating myself like a thing and/or garbage. Only then, around 15 years later, did I finally start to heal.

Now, I don’t accept or tolerate men and/or women abusing their ASSUMED power. We are all humans and no one deserves to be treated like they are less than anyone else. I’m no better or worse than my fellow human. My beliefs, interests, profession, position, color, sexuality, sex, and any other thing a person can come up with, is not a reason for me to feel more or less than anyone else. I am me. There is only one of me who lives life exactly like I do. My biggest accomplishment in life is that no matter what life throws at me, I love more. I don’t ever want anything that happens to me to get me to close my heart and stop being there for my fellow human. I love being the friend people come to when they want support. I love being the stranger a person just opens up to walking down the street. I love writing my story; so another person doesn’t feel alone. I love to be love.

I’m not always love, sometimes fear takes over and I can worry like the best of them. I can awfulize my decisions and choices in being a parent, partner, friend, and contributing member to society. I’m not perfect, none of us are. I accept that in myself and in others. This doesn’t mean I will put up with unacceptable behavior. I won’t. I make the best choices I can to keep the people I love and myself safe from harm whether it be emotional and/or physical. I get plenty of help along the way to make choices that impact multiple lives. I trust in God to lead me to all the right places and people to learn the lessons I need to make me the person I want to be. I don’t have to accept people treating me like a thing or garbage. I admit me too, but the situations I survived will not define me. They will only make me stronger and better. I learned from the experiences before me to be kinder to myself and not to accept unacceptable behavior. My hopes is that by admitting me too, just maybe it might plant a seed to help someone else become the best version of her or himself, no matter what happened to them in the past.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2017