#PerspectiveChallenge: You Have to Work Hard to Succeed

PERSPECTIVE: YOU HAVE TO WORK HARD TO SUCCEED

This is a very common perspective—naturally. I’ve heard it all growing up and I continue to hear it. I’ve heard it as a compliment on countless occasion. I’ve heard community leaders, inspirers, entrepreneurs, teachers, and business leaders preach these words. Some people have a positive reaction to these words and the belief has been the foundation of their hustle to succeed. 

I’ve also seen the dark side of this belief when people work so hard that they forget to live. I’ve seen families get neglected due to the countless hours their family member is gone. I’ve seen people get diseases because of the amount of stress they put themselves under from working so hard.

I just want to introduce a small shift in this perspective that can make a BIG difference in where your energy goes. This is not new. I didn’t come up with this. It’s just not as popular as the “WORK HARD” motto. 

WORK SMART

Working smart means that we are conscious of our choices. We are conscious of our efforts. We are conscious of our sacrifices.  We make choices accordingly. Working smart can eliminate some of the undue stress and pressure from the situation. I can’t even begin to tell you the difference it’s made in my life. Working smart helps me to enjoy the journey and the process so much more than the thought of working hard ever did.  It doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate when people compliment me on my “hard work”. It just means I’m conscious that the work didn’t feel HARD to me, but I do understand what they are saying so I’m grateful for the compliment. Working smart can help us to use our time more efficiently. Working smart can empower us to make important choices in delegating. Along with making choices to add in time for self-care and personal development to make sure our energy is aligned with what we are trying to accomplish with our work.

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Get a blank piece of paper and create two columns. At the top of one column write “Work Hard” on the other write, “Work Smart”. Make lists under each one to see how your mind differentiates the two of them. Then check-in with your body to see how your body feels responding to your lists. You might just be AMAZED in what you find just by focusing on a slight change in words. 

With Love and Gratitude, 

Rachael Wolff ©2020

32 Days Until the Release of LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME!!! 

#PerspectiveChallenge: People Suck

PERSPECTIVE: PEOPLE SUCK

There is a difference between not liking a particular person’s choice and the belief PEOPLE SUCK. When we tell ourselves and/or anyone who will listen that people suck, we are asking the Universe to show us the people who suck. We put our focus on seeing it. There could be an unhealthy person making poor choices and a healthy person making positive choices, and guess who we will put our energy on? 

We see this every day in social media. There are people who are constantly seeing and spreading their belief that people suck, alongside the people who celebrate the amazing acts of humanity in the world. In honesty, what sucks is our perception when we believe the thought—people suck

People can and will make poor choices when they have unhealthy perceptions of themselves and the reality they are living in. We each have to make the choice if we will allow our thinking to benefit our lives or cost us our peace. We are only ever one healthy perception away from making a positive change in our life. 

When we believe people suck, we are giving ourselves permission to suck too, because last I checked, if you are reading this it qualifies you as a person. I don’t believe that you suck. 

I believe that each person makes choices that have NOTHING to do with me. Just like I make my own choices on what I think, believe, perceive, and do. No one can MAKE me believe anything that doesn’t feel true to me. Hence, I focus my energy on the amazing heroes in the world. Those are tears I LOVE shedding watching the power of humanity shine through.

When someone makes a choice that hurts themselves and/or others, I want you to take a second to go deeper. This is a sick person making a sick choice. This is not a representative of all the humanity in the world. Don’t let their negative choices pull you down into their energy field. Because I guarantee you, they think people suck too. Someone who is acting in a healthy manner doesn’t try to take another human down or want to be tied to low energy. Their energy field actually won’t even allow it to happen—like attracts like. People making healthy choices process information in healthy ways. 

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Go on the Internet and look into acts of kindness, humans being better humans, humanitarian causes, inspirational websites and pages, along with acts of forgiveness. If you want to see the best in humanity, you have to put your focus there. 

Have a perspective-filled day!

With Love and Continuous Gratitude, 

Rachael Wolff ©2020

37 More Days until the release of LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME!

#PerspectiveChallenge: I’m NOT Where I’m Supposed to Be

PERSPECTIVE: I’M NOT WHERE I’M SUPPOSED TO BE

The belief, I’m not where I’m supposed to be can be debilitating. Instantly it puts us in the mindset that focuses us on what we don’t want. That energy flows out of us like toxic sludge. Other people do and will pick up on it. If it is a relationship, career, friends, community, and/or spirituality we are chasing, we come off desperate and needy. We spend so much time chasing, we are not where our feet are. We miss the blessings that happen in the present moment. We miss the signs to lead us in a positive direction. We may even try to numb ourselves with apps, shopping, gambling, eating, drugs, and /or alcohol, instead of taking the necessary steps to keep us moving towards our dreams. 

We can have dreams and goals without believing, I’m not where I’m supposed to be. We lock ourselves in a box and limit our movement when we let that negative belief sink in. We can choose to enjoy the journey while having dreams and goals at the same time. This keeps us present. This keeps us appreciating the signs and being grateful for the blessings that only can be seen when we stay PRESENT!

We aren’t and can’t be present while believing, I’m not where I’m supposed to be. We resist the moment with that very thought. 

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

  1. Get in front of the mirror and say, “I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be in this moment.” Repeat it, write it down, and repeat it some more. 
  2. Right down your goals and dreams—be specific and stay positive. No attachments to the negative (i.e. I don’t want to be poor. I don’t want an abusive relationship).  I want to be and feel abundant in every way. I want a healthy relationship. If these are things you want, go within them and be as specific as you can. 
  3. Make the most out of the moment you are in. What can you do right now to move you in a positive direction? It can be as simple as writing down three things you are grateful for, because abundant living starts with gratitude. If you are not appreciating what you already have, you will NEVER be abundant no matter how much you have. 

Have a perspective-filled day!

With Love and Gratitude, 

Rachael Wolff ©2020

39 MORE DAYS until the release of LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME!

#PerspectiveChallenge: Love Hurts

PERSPECTIVE: LOVE HURTS

I hear this one a lot, and at one point in my life, I would fully agree. First, I want you to think about what your definition of love is where you can say that love is what hurts you. I’m going to get personal with you here because this is obviously a topic that is at the heart of everything that I write about.  

My definition of love used to be so warped that it would include me putting up with unacceptable behavior because I believed it was done out of love. I was in my thirties before I saw that fear is what led all the behaviors, actions, words, thoughts, and feelings that I was or felt hurt by (there is a difference there too). 

I was at my lowest point when I finally heard the call to look up the definition of love. This is what came up:

Love is patient; Love is kind; Love is NOT envious or boastful OR arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; It is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice in Wrongdoing, But rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, Hopes all things, endures all things.

—Corinthians 13.4-13.7

What about that definition has the potential to hurt? Everything that is mentioned about what love isn’t definitely has the potential to hurt. All of those things stem from fear. With that, my perspective that LOVE HURTS shifted to FEAR HURTS. It has even shifted more since those dark days, but the first step for me is giving love back the power it so much deserves. 

Now my definition of love is what anchors me and gives me a measurement of where my thoughts are in the moment. It shows me whether I’m living according to fear-based perspectives or love-based perspectives. We can choose either at any given moment, but if we don’t have a solid definition of love, we can get quickly confused between the two.  

When this perspective shifted, my life started changing. That is when I realized that in order to really live by this definition, I had to treat myself that way. That is when EVERYTHING changed for me. I was FINALLY able to break so many of the old patterns that came with my warped definition of love. Love Lifts is what I believe now. Love connects, and fear separates is what I believe. LOVE HURTS is just fear trying to use love as a cover-up. 

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE 

Write down all the reasons you believe that LOVE HURTS. Then use the definition above to see it is really love that is making you hurt. Write out as many perspectives of love that feel more true for you than LOVE HURTS. Check-in with your body to see what perspectives feel good and what ones don’t. The shift can feel extraordinary when it really sets in. 

Have a perspective-filled day!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

43 More days until the release of Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World

#PerspectiveChallenge: Money is Evil

PERSPECTIVE: MONEY IS EVIL

If anything guarantees you a horrible relationship with money, it’s telling yourself and the Universe that money is evil. If money is evil, anytime you have money you will sabotage it staying in your life. If money is evil, you make excuses for some people’s poor choices and look past others kind and loving choices that involve money. 

  • Is money evil or is some people’s relationship to money evil?
  • Do some people who have money give themselves the excuses to do evil because they believe that money is evil
  • Is the reason you resist being financially successful tied to your belief that money is evil?
  • If the reason why you can’t seem to hold onto money because you don’t want to let it’s evil rub off on you? 
  • Is the belief that money is evil hiding a bigger set of destructive beliefs?
  • These are all questions to ponder when we challenge the perspective of thinking that money is evil

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Investigate your relationship with money. Get personal with yourself to discover your beliefs around money. Do the work to heal any negative perspectives you hold that could be keeping you from having a healthy relationship. I can promise you—money won’t do anything to you, it’s a piece of paper. You are the only one that holds the key to healing any relationship you have with it. Whatever energy you put into it, you will get back. What energy do you want to put into that piece of paper?

  • What comes up for you when you think the thought money is evil
  • How is your relationship with money?
  • Does money always show up when you need it?
  • Do you have everything you need to survive this moment?
  • Do you focus on the choices that unhealthy people are making and blame it on having too much or not enough money? 
  • Do you do things in fear of not having enough money?
  • When you think of money, where do you feel it in your body? Do you feel light or heavy inside?

Have a perspective-filled day!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

46 Days until Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World can be delivered to your door. 

Upcoming Events

Speaking – “Becoming the Butterfly” (1 of 6 speakers)

Dream Con/ St. Petersburg, Florida on February 29, 2020

Book signing 

Phoenix & Dragon Bookstore/ Atlanta, Georgia on March 15, 2020 from 4-6pm

#PerspectiveChallenge: People Can’t Change

PERSPECTIVE: PEOPLE CAN’T CHANGE

What we CHOOSE to believe in our lives is true. It will form our realities and our judgments of ourselves and others. When we believe that people can’t change, in turn we are saying we can’t change. Our advice and communications with others and ourselves will reflect that belief. 

People can’t change allows us to excuse ourselves and others for poor choices:

  • Well, that’s just the way I am.
  • It’s okay, that’s just the way she is. 
  • He can’t help it, that’s just the way he is. 

People can’t change also allows us to persecute others and ourselves while condemning them/us for life. 

  • He will never change. 
  • She is always going to be a train wreck.
  • I’m always going to be a jealous person, that’s just who I am. 

People WON’T change unless they want to more than they want to stay the same. We can’t make anyone else change. We are wasting our efforts when we try to FORCE someone else to change. In order for someone to even want to change, they first have to give up the belief that people can’t change. Then they have to become aware of the things in their lives that aren’t healthy. That is going to look different to each individual. Finally, a person then has to choose to do the work to break all the patterns of belief that are linked to that behavior they are trying to change. It’s not easy, and it takes a lot of effort. The GREAT news is there is a ton of support for who people who want to sincerely change. When a person is open, they will start seeing the ways to change all over the place.

Some people who were raised in trauma and/or chaos are going to have more challenges, because there are more unhealthy and unconscious patterns of thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that have to be brought to awareness and untethered from us.  If you are looking at person who is an adult, that is a lot of time they spent believing in the things that make their chaos normal for them. That is A LOT of work. Will everyone choose to change? NO! 

We each have to make our own choices about how we are going to let another individual affect our lives. We have to change and make the choices that are best for us. If that means removing someone from our lives, accepting where another person is, or adding a little distance, that is each individual’s call. If we choose to believe that people can change, we have to be open to the truth that comes with that—for better or worse. This is why it is so important to continue to make healthy choices for ourselves by having healthy boundaries with others.

Brain science has proven we can create new neural pathways and that others can stop functioning. Isn’t that change at the heart of where our ability to change comes from? 

When we prove to ourselves that we CAN change, we become open see that others can too. Our core beliefs are our perspectives of truth. When we open ourselves up to see that we CAN change the ones that create drama and chaos in our lives, we start making different choices. Our brain starts opening up to create new options. BUT, once again remember, we CAN only change ourselves if we want to put in the work to do it. We become others example of possibility, but we cannot force them to make the choice we believe is right for them. What other people do is their journeys; what we do is ours. 

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Focus on an area of your life where you have given yourself the excuse that you can’t change. Ask yourself these questions:

  • What about the thought/belief is having a negative effect on my life? 
  • What core beliefs do I have that is keeping me making this unhealthy choice in my life? 
  • What is something I CAN do to change the way this belief effects my life? 
  • What are the actions of other people who don’t hold this belief? 
  • What actions can I take right now to open myself up to the possibility of doing this thing differently? (Make the choice a habit by choosing it consciously for a minimum of 60 days). 

Be open to see what changes in your life by shifting your perspectives. 

I believe that I can change, and I continue to consciously choose to change what doesn’t work in my life. This is a lifelong process, and it’s filled with a lot of lessons that turn into blessings along the way. Some people will like the changes I make, and others won’t. I will choose NOT to put my energy there, because when I make the best choices for me, I’m making the best choices for the people who I love and who love me. When I’m not at war with myself inside, I can do more for others in a healthy and productive way. 

Have a perspective-filled day!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

If you are a woman ready to make 2020 your best year, LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME: HOW BECOMING AN EMPOWERED WOMAN TRANSFORMS THE WORLD is available for pre-order in paperback, ebook, and audiobook.  You can find a list of book retailers here.

#PerspectiveChallenge: I’m Stupid, Ugly, and Unlovable

PERSPECTIVE: I’M STUPID, UGLY, AND UNLOVABLE

When we label ourselves, we will do, think, and feel things to prove the label true. When we choose words that coming from someone else would be considered bullying or abusive, we are bullying and abusing ourselves. If it’s normal to treat ourselves that way, wouldn’t it feel normal coming from someone else? Let me answer that for you, YES!!!! If we want to be treated better by others, we have to treat ourselves with the love and respect that we deserve. If we don’t, we can’t expect others to know how we want to be treated. Worse than that, we would think the people treating us better were lying or up to something. Yes, we would self-sabotage the good stuff trying to come into our lives. So, today’s challenge is a VERY important one. 

We can’t change other people, but we can change ourselves and what we bring to any given situation. When I stopped abusing myself, my unhealthy relationships with others shifted and changed. Some I happily walked away from, and others were redefined because of the new perspectives I chose to live by. I also started noticing how truly amazing some of the people around me really were, because now I was in a place to accept their goodness. 

What labels are you carrying around that are working against you? Anything that makes you feel small or little is restricting your potential and your ability to have healthy relationships.  If you notice repeated patterns in your relationships with others, it’s time to check-in with how you are treating yourself. 

TODAY’S  PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Make a list of all the negative labels you’ve given yourself and write a positive label that you would like to take its place. If you struggle with accepting the positive label, look deeper and talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. Be the friend to yourself that you want to have in someone else.  This one challenge could be the first step in changing the trajectory of your life.  

Have a perspective-filled day!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

If you are a woman ready to make 2020 your best year, LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME: HOW BECOMING AN EMPOWERED WOMAN TRANSFORMS THE WORLD is available for pre-order in paperback, ebook, and audiobook.  You can find a list of book retailers here.

#PerspectiveChallenge: I, We, He, She, They, or It Should Have

PERSPECTIVE: I, WE, HE, SHE, THEY, OR IT SHOULD HAVE

We can give should a lot of power over our lives if we are not careful. I don’t care who we are shoulding. When we should a person or situation, we are fighting the reality of what is. Shoulding is a form of shaming ourselves and others. I used to use should haves to beat myself up in ways way beyond what anyone else could ever do to me. I used should to keep me prisoner of my self-proclaimed pity party. I also used should haves against other people and situations to keep me prisoner of my past and to punish them.  The should haves create toxic energy. The question is, do you really want to be carrying that around? If we carry that energy around with us, it will unconsciously seep into what we feel, think, and do. 

What should have been is an illusion and a toxic one at that. It is NOT reality. What happened is what should have happened, because it is what happened—that is reality. What are we going to do with what happened? No reason to waste time and energy on on should haves. Empower yourself and your energy to move you to make the changes you can make right now.

If we didn’t do something:

  • What did we learn from not doing it?
  • Are we committed to doing better next time?
  • What can we do right now to help us to move past our learning experience (let it go, forgive ourselves, pray, express gratitude for the lesson, etc.)?

If someone else or others didn’t do something:

  • What did it teach us about the person and/or group?
  • What choices do we have in the present to change the affect of their actions on our lives? 
  • How will be proceed with this person and/or people (accept, forgive, walk away, stand up to, report, etc)?

If we believe something should have been different:

  • What lessons can we take from the situation? 
  • What positives came from the situation?
  • How can we shift our energy to accept the reality of the situation?

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Challenge yourself to shift your perspective from should have to a more productive energy booster for you. Anytime you hear should have pop into your thoughts—challenge it. Ask yourself questions like the ones up above. See how your energy shifts. Be conscious of how you feel when you think should have

  • Where do you feel it? 
  • How does that feeling move through your body? 

After you have gained perspective, check in again. 

  • How does the thought feel? 
  • Where do you feel it? 
  • How is it affecting your mood to think about learning instead of fighting the reality of what already happened?

Have a perspective-filled day!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

#PerspectiveChallenge: That Is SO True

PERSPECTIVE: THAT IS SO TRUE

I, like many, find myself saying this when I see positive quotes, read articles, go to seminars, watch TV, and talk to like-minded people. This statement can feel great when we feel and/or say it. It wasn’t until I started my From A Loving Place Facebook page that I realized for every quote that I felt was SO TRUE, there were people out there seeing it from a completely different perspective. Through their eyes, it wasn’t true at all. When I would engage with them, most times they didn’t even consider it in the way that I was thinking about it, and the same for me.

As true as it is for me, it might not be the same for someone else, which got me thinking about when I strongly disagree with something. Once again, we are all living in our own perspectives of truth. Doing the challenge below helped me to not take other people’s disagreements personally. The challenge also helped me open myself to change perspectives that don’t feel good to me. Here are two examples:

  • A perspective that is true for me now is: I have the power to empower or disempower my life by the perspectives I choose to let guide my journey. I know that some people will agree and others won’t, but the difference is I know that I’m living my truth and I know that the people who disagree are living theirs.
  • I used to think that is SO TRUE, when people said, “Love hurts.” That was a painful perspective to believe. I researched and found a definition of love that I could stand be behind. Once I did that, I realized what hurts has nothing to do with love. What hurts has everything to do with what came from living in fear: anger, jealously, rage, deceit, betrayal, envy, … I found this perspective to be true for me, and it feels SO MUCH BETTER!

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Think about a perspective of truth that you believe is SO TRUE. Write down why the perspective feels true for you. If it feels good to you, write down “This perspective of truth is true for me.” If you write down a perspective that feels SO TRUE, but it doesn’t contribute to you living your best life, challenge yourself to research other perspectives of truth that can help you disprove the belief you are carrying that is hurting you. Then write down a perspective that feels better to you and write, “This perspective of truth feels good to me.”

If you don’t feel like you want to write it down, practice saying them when you see things or hear things where you think the thought, that is SO TRUE. Just opening your mind to the possibility will create a shift in your thinking. That’s where the magic begins.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Author of LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World

Available NOW for Pre-order in paperback, ebook, and audiobook

#PerspectiveChallenge: I Can’t Stand When People Use the Word…

PERSPECTIVE: I CAN’T STAND WHEN PEOPLE USE THE WORD…

Our attachment to words can create a lot of conflict in our lives, and often times when other people use the words that we HATE they aren’t using them in the same way as we are interpreting them. I’m amazed at the amount of verbal attacks that happen over the use of words, and it gets even more complicated when we think about some of the words that people hate, empower others. This can make communication quite the challenge. 

What words get under your skin?

What words have a negative impact on you but a positive impact on someone else? 

If a word has a negative impact on the way you feel, what you think, how you act, and or react towards others, you are giving the word power over you. Do you really want a word that someone else uses to create stress in your world? The words others use reflect their reality. Knowing our own trigger words can help us to not give them power over us. When we hold ourselves accountable and responsible for the energy we exude, we start changing how we let things get to us.

There are ways we can communicate with others without creating a war with words. If we tell people how a word makes us feel, they may explain to us how they actually meant it. We can also simply ask them, “Why did you chose to use that word?” When we approach a situation with curiosity instead of judgment, we diffuse the situation and the power it has over us. If you don’t like their perspective of truth, you don’t have to live by it, but creating more negativity around a word, will affect YOUR energy, so be conscious of what you want to put out into the world. You have to ask yourself— Is another person’s use of words worth you losing your peace?

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Take a word you have a negative attachment to and come up with three different thoughts about the word that take away the power it has over you. You will be amazed at how well this works the next time the word comes up in conversation.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Great News!

Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Transforms the World is now available on Audiobook (click for link).