Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #342

I’m grateful for waking up socially. Waking up socially for me is about becoming aware of what I’m responsible and accountable for in my social interactions and what I’m not. I used to put a lot of responsibility on others to make me feel a specific way. I had no idea that my expectations are not someone else’s responsibility to manage. Waking up to this has saved me SO MUCH emotional pain. I’ve become a natural at setting healthy boundaries for myself and not accepting unacceptable behavior, but in a way where I stay at peace. That was a HUGE one for me! I treat myself with the love and respect that I want, so it’s reflected back to me in my relationship with others. I feel blessed to learn and grow from all my social exchanges no matter how uncomfortable they may get.

I actually love watching when I’m having a negative reaction socially what it’s reflecting back to me. If I’m attracting energy to me that is aligned with fear, lack, and separation, I look at where I’m projecting fear, lack, and separation out. I usually can find it pretty easily now. I cannot fix what happened, but I can choose different and awareness is ALWAYS the first step.

I absolutely love the feeling of having an enlightening exchange with someone that is aligned with love, abundance, and peace, because I know when I spot it, I got it too! The energies together amplify which makes me feel wonderful about the energy I’m helping to contribute to the collective. There is always more room for the energy of love, abundance, and peace out there. I have specific relationships which I’ve scheduled in that are truly focused on aligning with the energy of love, abundance, and peace. If we weren’t there when we started the conversation, we get there in the conversation. It’s so important to my wellness to have relationships that contribute to aligning my energy with love, abundance, and peace. Knowing that helps me attract more of it. I love how my social interactions contribute to my wellness.

One of the things that I love being aware of is watching how plans work and how they don’t with others. I’ve gotten to a place where I fully trust what is meant to work out does, and if it doesn’t it’s not what’s meant to be in this moment. I don’t get angry or upset by the people who cancel plans, change plans, don’t have time for plans, and/or come and go from my life. I know when I’m meant to share a moment in time with someone, I will and it will be Divine timing.

I don’t focus on what specific relationships don’t provide, I put my focus on what I AM giving and receiving in the moment. I have no expectations on any one person to be what they are not and give me what they can’t. If my energy isn’t aligning with someone else’s, they won’t be in my life at that moment. No judgment, no resentment, just a simple awareness that right now in this moment our energies aren’t aligned. Either, I’m not the person they need right now or they aren’t the person I need right now. My needs are always DIVINELY met.

The relationships I have now are all blessings. Some people will reach out when they are in pain and my feeling is that if I’m available to be there to support them, that’s my Divine purpose in that moment. It doesn’t matter if I don’t hear from them again in a year or 10 years, I feel like if my name pops into someone’s head and I’m there to receive the call, I’m meant to be on that call. If I miss the call or have other things going on, I’m not the one who is meant to be there. Now, if I answer the phone and get a tight feeling inside, I pray and ask for guidance on my next move. I just make sure my energy is aligned with love, abundance, and peace and the call will serve the highest good.

The most amazing thing I’ve noticed is how people are attracted or repelled away from my energy field. I’ve learned to have faith in how this works. Every time I’ve tried to force relationships with people when the energy is actually being repelled, it just doesn’t work. I figure if our energies ever align, we will have a place in each other’s lives. Being awake to all of this has helped me to live a more peaceful life.

I love that any social drama that comes into my life quickly moves away from me, because sometimes people need to cause some chaos to give themselves permission to walk away. I’m not responsible and accountable for anyone else’s energy, thoughts, feelings, and/or actions. We each get to choose the stories we are telling ourselves and those stories will align us with the energy of love, abundance, and peace or fear, lack, and separation. That’s why my social wellness relies on knowing what is mine and what isn’t.

Today, I commit to igniting healthy social interactions. The best way I know to do this is by making sure my energy is aligned with love, abundance, and peace. I want to make sure that I’m projecting the relationships I want to have reflected back to me. I love my social exchanges when my energy is aligned with love, abundance, and peace. Even if the other person is in the energy of fear, lack, and separation, I can meet that exchange with compassion and empathy as long as I don’t join the person in engaging in the energy of fear, lack, and separation.

One of the things that helps me is seeing people I’m in a social exchange with as my mirror. Do I want to be a reflection of their energy that is being projected onto to me? What energy do I want to project out to be reflected back to me? If the energies don’t match, one person will walk away from the mirror. My job is to focus on what I’m projecting in social exchanges. What someone else is projecting is not my responsibility to change, yet if I project love, abundance, and peace and they realize they want to be there, they will make the choice to be there. Me trying to force someone to be where they are not is me being in the energy of fear, lack, and separation. I’m saying that this person isn’t being who they are supposed to be in this moment. That is not the reality of the moment. They are being exactly who they are supposed to be in the moment because that is who they are being. Denying that doesn’t help me in ANY way. All it does is give me permission to make myself miserable with any story I’m telling myself about how they are not thinking, believing, and acting like they are supposed to act. Doing this then gives me permission to act like them just from a different angle. Mirrors are funny that way.

I have to do the work to stay aligned with the energy of love, abundance, and peace in my social exchanges. Sometimes it feels more natural to me to slide into my energy of fear, lack, and separation. When I’m there, I find justifications for staying in that energy, because that is the story I’m telling myself in the moment. I move out of the energy of fear, lack, and separation when I stop spinning stories that keep me in that energy. Once I stop making excuses and justifying my choice to stay in the energy of fear, lack, and separation, I can move back into the energy of love, abundance, and peace. The beautiful thing is it can happen in the space of one long deep breath. At the end of the exhale I can be back in the energy of love, abundance, and peace.

Part of me doing the work to stay aligned with love, abundance, and peace in my social exchanges is writing it out, which is what I’m doing here. When I see it clearly in writing, it becomes easier to do when I’m in the moment of the exchange. I’m working on choosing differently more often, which is what makes staying in the energy of love, abundance, and peace over fear, lack, and separation become the more natural choice.

Since I lived in the energy of fear, lack, and separation for so long, I have a lot of habits that have become an autopilot mode for me. I’m still in the process of being able to spot them when they pop up. The more I spot them, the easier it becomes to CHOOSE to think, believe, and do things differently in the moment. My social exchanges help me to see where I REALLY am in the moment. I pay close attention to the stories playing in my head during the exchanges. In order to ignite healthy social exchanges, I have to project healthy energy. If I’m not projecting that energy, I can spot that in my inner stories that are playing before, during, and after the exchange.

Today’s mantra: I’m accountable and responsible for the energy I’m projecting out onto others.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2021, Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World (click title to learn more)

Trusting the Journey: The People Who Are Supposed to Be There Are

Trusting the Journey: The People Who Are Supposed to Be There Are

I know it is easy to get caught up in who is “supposed” to be there and who “shouldn’t” be there. We can sometimes believe that we know best about what should be, but all of that thinking is just a story in our heads. Who should be there is who is there. Who shouldn’t be there is who isn’t. We have something to learn from who shows up and who doesn’t in our lives.

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I know this can be a hard pill to swallow and I’ve definitely been caught up in a story playing in my head about what other people should be doing. The truth is that none of that is my business and quite honestly, who am I to say. I know that every experience I’ve had was necessary to be where I am right now. I know that all my pleasant and not so pleasant exchanges have played roles in my life. So, if things were different I may have missed a valuable lesson or exchange.

If our energy is focused on what shouldn’t of happened, who shouldn’t have been there, and who should have been. We missed seeing the value in what did happen, who was there, and the blessing that came from the exchanges we had with people because of who wasn’t there.  I know there were years I was caught up in the energy that things didn’t happen the way they were supposed to and the only person who paid the price for that thinking was me.

For me, I need to remember to put the energy back where it belongs, because I know that I don’t want to live bitter. I want to live with purpose and believing that my experiences empower me. If my experiences empower me, I have to embrace the idea that other people have that same option. We each get to choose how we want to live, so the stories that play in our minds make a difference. I choose to believe that people will come and go from my life. They are there for the exact time and in the exact way that they are meant to be.

Thank you to all the people who are there and who aren’t at any given moment. I know the exact people I need for the moment I’m in are there when they are supposed to be. I’m grateful for all the beautiful lessons I’ve learned that came from appreciating my experiences exactly the way that they did happen. I’m so grateful that I don’t have to hold any bitterness towards people who don’t show up. I love that the power of interpreting my experiences is ALWAYS in my hands. I love the way it feels to believe that if someone doesn’t show up it’s because they weren’t meant to be there or else they would have been. This belief has helped me appreciate ALL the people in my life so much more.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 4 – How Fear Keeps Us from Experiencing Love

Day 4: How Fear Keeps Us from Experiencing Love

“Love is what we were born with fear is what we learned here.”

-Marianne Williamson

 

Whether we are talking about romantic relationships, family, friends, or strangers fear keeps us from experiencing love. We like to pretend that by fearing for others and/or their actions we are showing love. We’ve been groomed to fear which leads to expectations of others. Those expectations create more fear—not love. Does this mean we need to accept unacceptable behavior…HELL NO! This means that we understand through awareness what we can control. We are only in control of our own perceptions. We can’t expect others to act according to our expectations. We don’t use their adherence to our expectations as a tool to measure whether we love them or hate them.

Fear breaks down all forms of communication in relationships. Once all parties enlist fear into conversation— a war breaks out. Now all parties are acting like their wounded pre-teen selves. Our reasoning goes out the door. We view us as right and them as wrong. We can’t see that ALL our and their beliefs are just perceptions of what is true based on each person’s experiences in life. We are no longer open. We have an armor layer that is constructed of 100% fear.

Some of us go through our whole lives and never consider the definitions of love and fear. We wing it and because of that we intertwine the two and then start believing things like: Love hurts! Love is painful! Love blinds us. The opposite is actually true. Fear hurts. Fear is painful. Fear blinds us.

Fear is what drives the overbearing parent. Fear is what leads to jealousy, separation, abuse, betrayal, and cheating. Fear is what builds walls and shuts doors to strangers who are just as capable of love as we are. Fear closes us off and makes us want to numb our pain. Fear breaks down any and all relationships without discrimination.

We are human. None of us are going to be perfect people. We are going to make mistakes. The people we love will make mistakes. Strangers will make mistakes. We take away the opportunity to learn from our mistakes when we are in so much fear that we attack and criticize without any understanding of how the mistake could have happened. Then we come up with defenses, and those defenses create more fear. If a person chooses to learn from their mistakes, they will grow. If they don’t, they will wallow in self-defeat. They will make the mistakes reasons for being unlovable and unworthy. Once we see ourselves as unlovable and unworthy—Fear-based living takes over.

We project that fear to the world, and it becomes a belief. We will try to prove our belief right. This makes us attract people who will use us and call it love. We will allow our parents to demean and try to control us and call it love. We will attract friends who attack us and call it love. Something deep inside us knows these actions aren’t demonstrating love, so it feeds our belief that we are unlovable and unworthy of love.  If you are nodding your head because you see this in yourself, remember it is true for others too.

If we truly want to experience the fullness of love we have to show love to ourselves. We have to know love from the inside before we can see it in the world around us. We can only do this if we become aware of all the fears that are holding us back.

It is self-love that keeps us from being abused, bullied, controlled, and used by others. When we love ourselves we have healthy boundaries. We don’t DEMAND people respect us. We respect ourselves, so people who don’t respect us change or move away from us.  If our house isn’t built on a foundation of fear, we won’t engage in what perpetuates more fear, which is fear itself.

Do we fear repeating patterns from the past?

Do we fear others will hurt us more than we hurt ourselves?

Do we fear the unknown future?

These keep us from seeing the people standing in front of us. We can’t be present if our heads are lost in fear. Therefore we miss expressions of love and red flags we need to face. Love is experienced right here and right now. Self-love helps us spot red flags in ourselves and others. Fear is based on past beliefs, which creates fears of the future. Fear actually keeps you from being present.

Just for today see how fear and/or love is expressing itself in your relationships. Really ask yourself if your thoughts, feelings, and actions towards yourself and others are projecting love or fear.

If you want to learn about how to get out of fearful patterns—Keep READING!

This is a process. Part I is about making us AWARE of the problems. We can’t fix what we don’t want to face. Part II is about ACCEPTING where we are right now and opening ourselves up to changing from a place of love and not fear. Then in Part III we take ACTION. You will learn action plans to break unhealthy patterns. There is a reason for the order so it is best not to skip any part of it.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Companion letter: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 4 -To the Fear Keeping Me from Experiencing Love Don’t miss a day!