Taking Responsibility for Contributing to the Collective

I’m taking responsibility for what I’m contributing to the collective. I’m not responsible for what anyone else is doing. I’m serving my highest good when I’m aligned with energy of love, abundance, and peace. It’s not just about the actions I take, but it’s the energy, thoughts, and beliefs I put into those actions. If I do things from the energy of fear, lack, and separation, I’m contributing more fear, lack, and separation to the collective—EVEN IF my actions are what others think will benefit the collective.

What I’ve discovered in the last year of doing the Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace (click to read more) blog series is that doing things for the wrong reasons, which is out of fear, lack, and separation doesn’t serve anybody. The same action can be taken by two people, one out of fear and the other out of love. The one that comes from love is the one that serves the collective in the best way possible. The one that comes out of fear still contributes to the collective of fear. I’ve seen this in the world and within myself over and over. I’ve come to the conclusion that if I truly want to contribute to the collective energy of love, abundance, and peace, I have to take responsibility for when I’m not doing that. I have to watch where my thoughts, beliefs, and energy are going.

I’ve watched myself struggle through some very dark perspectives that have led me to take actions. Even though the ACTIONS were positive, the energy I was contributing to them wasn’t. I was in the energy of fear, lack, and separation and as much as the steps could be good for the whole, my energy wasn’t so I was still contributing to more fear, lack, and separation. It took me a long time to figure out the impact of this on myself and others.

Even now, I’m raising two teenagers whose experiences can help me see where I’m holding onto emotional pain from when I was a teen. I’ve seen myself react out of fear of them repeating patterns. I’m still actively trying to navigate not letting my actions be out of fear while helping them work their ways through this time. I keep repeating to myself, “I’m giving them seeds, they have to choose if they are going to plant them.” I remind myself that they will have to experience what is necessary for their own paths. I have no control over that. The best I can do is guide them by aligning my own energy, because then I know I’m serving them the best I can. I’m responsible for what I contribute to their journeys and that’s it.

When I take responsibility for what I contribute to the collective, it means that I’m going inside to keep myself in check. It’s not about if people agree with my perspectives, choices, and actions. If I know that my energy is aligned with love, abundance, and peace, the choices I’m making are serving the highest good for the collective. If I’m aligned with fear, lack, and separation, I take responsibility for that and do my best to figure out how stop contributing to that energy in this moment. THIS MOMENT is the only place I can make choices to do better.

With Love and Gratitude,

©Rachael Wolff 2021, Author of Letters from a Better Me

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Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #266

I’m grateful for the path inward revealed by emotional triggers. I recently had an AHA moment about emotional triggers. It was something I logically knew, but finally sunk down into an emotional connection of truly absorbing and understanding. I cannot trigger others and they cannot trigger me. I can feel triggered, which is a sign I have emotional stuff to work on that is keeping me aligned with the energy of fear, lack, and separation. The only thing the other person is doing is providing me a path inward. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to go inward and get to see what is keeping me in an energy I don’t want to be living in.

I love when things hit me on a deeper level. This is just another way I’m tapping into taking my power back. I LOVE IT! I know when I’m feeling triggered, it’s mine, but to really dive in and to go through the actual emotions and tap into each one is a priceless gift. Someone else is not MAKING me feel unsafe, I feel unsafe. Someone else is not making me feel pressured, I feel pressured. Someone else is not MAKING me feel unwanted, I feel unwanted. Someone else is not MAKING me feel uncomfortable, I feel uncomfortable. Someone else is not making me feel neglected, I feel neglected. If you have been reading along with me, you know I talk about the mantra:

I find that each statement offers paths to go deeper. So, I’m going in… When I feel emotionally triggered, it’s important for me to look at each individual feeling that the exchange is bringing up and see the opportunity to heal them. This taps into making statements of “I feel ______________ because_______________” without placing blame on the other person. How another person acts, thinks, and lives isn’t about me, that is about them. That is theirs to figure out. What I can do is take care of my own emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, and financial health. I can choose to live in the energy of love, abundance, and peace and see MY triggers as a pathway inward to healing. Doesn’t that sound so much better than being the victim of someone else’s choices? It does to me, so that is really all that matters for my personal journey.

Today, I commit to looking at my emotional triggers as an opportunity to heal, grow, and empower myself. When I make this statement, it helps me commit to the journey of looking deeper. It keeps me from jumping into the STORY of what someone else did and how that is affecting me. It’s my story of what the other person did that is affecting me, not what they did. What they did offers me an opportunity to see my stories of my past and how they are affecting me now. What they did gives me the opportunity to show my strength, perseverance, hope, faith, and commitment to staying in the energy of love, abundance, and peace.

I recently wrote about being triggered by something that was happening while I was writing my piece (#252). I KNEW I was being shown an opportunity to get out of my own way, which was the topic of that post. I had no idea how much deeper this one experience would take me. There was a layer that had to be revealed later. Just a couple days ago, I read a word in an interview question that made my body physically react. The first thing I did was look up the definition of the word. The word had a great and empowering definition, so why did I have a knot in my stomach. I sat in my breath and realized I was feeling fearful, like the feeling of walking on eggshells kind of fearful, and anxious. Then BAM it hit me. My ex used to use the word when he was making an excuse for drinking or doing drugs. I took a deep breath and the knot, fear, and anxiety went away just like that. My energy was fully aligned with love, abundance, and peace so seeing things clearly and feeling the Divine connection came in so strong. I felt the AWE in the wisdom, which is how I know it was connected to the Divine truth which fully aligns me with love, abundance, and peace. That’s how fast a healing of something extraordinary painful can happen if we let ourselves go there. I could have easily got defensive and said how much I hate the word. I could have blamed the interviewer for the use of the word or I could have blamed my ex for ruining the word, but all any of that would do is keep me in the energy of fear, lack, and separation. That energy doesn’t feel good to me, so I’m so grateful I stayed aligned with the energy of love, abundance, and peace instead.

I’ve been asked before, “What does it looks like to feel painful feelings and stay aligned with love, abundance, and peace through it?” There is your answer. I let my body’s reaction guide me into the feelings. Then the feelings took me to the story that I was attaching to the word. Seeing the definition of the word offered me healing by understanding the word beyond my story. I didn’t blame or shame myself or anyone else in the process. My body felt expansive after a few minutes. I felt lighter.

Before all this happened, I put a question out to the Universe: Why is it so important that I identify the individual feelings when I’m processing feeling emotionally triggered? What I realized is that when I break it down, I can take full ownership of the feelings, which gives me the power to do something about them. If I don’t look at them individually, I can’t go back to heal where the stories about the feelings have taken charge of my life. If I felt neglected as a teenager, and somewhere deep inside I blamed a family member or members for the things that happened to me because of not having the attention I felt I needed… I’m going to get triggered by anything to do with feelings of neglect. I’m going to feel triggered by parents I feel are neglecting their kids, breaking it down might feel like anger, rage, frustration, and even hate in extreme cases. If a child feels neglected, I’m going to feel triggered. This trigger could surface as sadness, grief, loneliness, being unsafe and unprotected, fear, etc. These are just some examples, but it’s in those individual feelings that I’m given a doorway into healing my own past stories that are keeping me from approaching the current situation with the energy of love, abundance, and peace. If I try to MAKE other people accommodate to my feelings without healing my story, I haven’t done my job and the trigger will keep resurfacing.

The most amazing things happen when I release the old stories that keep me tied to the energy of fear, lack, and separation, I can see the current moment so much clearer. I can come at the current situation with a feeling of gratitude for what it’s showing me. If the current situation is unsafe or unhealthy, I can trust my intuition, because nothing is in my way from being in the energy of love, abundance, and peace. I project and attract so much less drama the healthier I get, and the drama that does show up has been opportunities for growth. I love this process. I’m always amazed at how much deeper I can go and how empowered I can feel.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2021

Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World —Click book cover to get your copy and start reading or listening today!

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 74 – Inviting Visitors Into Our Internal Homes

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 74: Inviting Visitors Into Our Internal Homes

“There are no accidents. People come in and out of our lives for a reason and where we end up is where we were destined to be all along.”

-Mandy Hale

People can walk in and out of our physical lives and never be invited into our internal homes. The people who come into our homes are ALWAYS invited. We choose whether or not to allow them to have space in our home. We do this with our feelings, thoughts, and beliefs about a person. We write them into our stories whether they are hero, villain, teacher, student, friend, or foe. We choose the space each person holds. We can also choose not to let them have any space at all.

“Invite people into your life that don’t look or think like you.”

-Mellody Hobson

The next few days the focus will be on these visitors and the places we create for them in our physical and internal lives. The process of becoming a better meis about taking our personal power back. We are responsible for who and what we allow to be apart of our inner worlds. We can’t control what others do or how they behave. We can’t save people from themselves. We only can show them our light or darkness. It’s up to them to do the work be in their light or darkness.

We can choose what effect we are going to let another person have over our inner worlds. If we don’t like the effect that is happening in the moment, we can take steps to change it without ever expecting the other person to be different than they are. That is the beauty of taking our power back.

We CAN give visitors seeds from our gardens. We CAN invite them into our internal homes.  We CAN ask them to leave.  We CAN learn from our experiences with them whether the experiences bring joy or pain. We CAN allow ourselves to love. We CAN allow ourselves to feel pain, grief, and sadness. We CAN change our minds! We CAN change our feelings! We CAN change our perspectives of truth! We CAN change how we act. We CAN change how we choose to react. WE HAVE THE POWER!

These things are apart of our journeys. Everyone has a purpose on this Earth. Whether a person makes it out of the womb or lives into their 100s. We are here to learn, teach, grow, and expand. We choose whether our expansion is from a loving place or a fearful one. Each person can teach and learn from a place of love or fear. We choose how we want to absorb these lessons into our internal homes or dilapidated shacks. We are the only ones with the power to change our lives. We have to decide whether to live life or to let life live us. Part of how we do that is being conscious of how we treat ourselves and the people we invite into our internal homes.

The energy we project out dictates the visitors we allow to enter our physical and emotional worlds. If we don’t like what is being manifested around us and what is coming back, we have to change the way we take care of our inner world. No one else has to do anything for us to feel different than we do in this moment. The only person who NEEDS to change if we aren’t happy—Ourselves!

Who are you inviting into your world? Keep reading!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 74 -Who Am I Inviting Into My Internal Home