90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 67 – Celebrating What Hasn’t Worked in My Life

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 67: Celebrating What Hasn’t Worked In My Life

Dear Universe,

I’m celebrating what hasn’t worked in my life. There are so many times I thought I knew what was best for me, and found out I knew nothing. My life is so much better because of all the things that didn’t work, which paved the way for things that have and are working.

  • When I was in high school, I got into my dream college only to find out that I couldn’t cover the financial end of things with no other option than not to go. No other schools had the program I wanted. A marriage, divorce, and two kids later, I found a college that had a similar program. I loved going to school with on-line libraries so that I could spend so much time doing research in the comfort of my own home. I had life experiences that helped me understand the material so much better than I could have as an eighteen year old. The women and men I met at school were awesome because the program I attended was for advanced learners.
  • When I didn’t get to go to college, I thought my life was over. I got a customer service job that turned into a career of being a national sales trainer. I got to travel all over the country doing seminars and training individuals to run thriving businesses. I loved my career and the perks were incredible getting to travel to see family and friends on my weekends off.
  • I was in a relationship that I thought was forever. We thought we would move away together and NOTHING worked out. It ended up being an incredible blessing because as I grew healthier by staying where I was, I realized how toxic the relationship was and got out of it without being tied down to a house away from all my positive support. I also picked what I thought would be the perfect time to leave him, and things blew up at what I thought was the ABSOLUTE WORST time, but it wasn’t the case at all. The timing ended up being perfect in the long run!
  • I wrote a book that no publisher wanted to buy. When I went back to re-read it a couple years later, I was able to use the foundation of it start this series, but I saw how weak the book actually was overall. I also got to see the difference when publishers thought the material was weak, and when the material was strong. Great lessons! I’ve had many opportunities to strengthen my writing and my message.
  • I thought my life would look one way when I decided to have kids and it has looked NOTHING like the picture in my head. I’ve had to readjust, learn, and grow with each stage of development. I’ve learned to fully celebrate all that raising them brings up because it keeps me striving to be the best me possible, so that I can love them in the best way possible. I love growing with them.
  • I remember thinking I knew the exact way my romantic life would look. I was wrong. My romantic life is so much different than what I thought it would be at my age, but it is so much better than I could have imagined, because I’m able to enjoy the man I’m with for the person he is and for the life we have together. It isn’t the traditional set-up, but it is perfect for us right in this moment.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for my past for leading me to where I am now.
  2. I’m grateful for my failed relationships that helped me to appreciate the amazing partner I have now.
  3. I’m grateful that all my prayers don’t have the answers I expect.
  4. I’m grateful for the surprises in life.
  5. I’m grateful for Divine timing.

So much good has come from the things that haven’t worked out in my life.

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

Check out 10 ways you can really celebrate what doesn’t work:90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 67 – Celebrating What Doesn’t Work

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 67 -Celebrating What Doesn’t Work

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 67: Celebrating What Doesn’t Work

“Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”

-Garth Brooks

I’m not going to lie— This step takes some work! Celebrating what doesn’t work is a testament of our faith. It is us realizing that we don’t know what is best, and that is a VERY hard pill for many of us to swallow. I’ve talked about this multiple times in the series. If we were meant to be anywhere then where we are right at this moment, we would be there. There is something to learn from the moment we are in—

No matter what that moment looks like. As soon as we open ourselves up to learn instead of wishing things were different—We grow! Wishing things were different just keeps us stuck in the hamster wheel. We won’t get anywhere! So, if we are praying for things to change, a more productive prayer would be:

Please show me what I need to learn from the moment I’m in. Help me  move past whatever is blocking me.

There maybe a much better plan for us than we could imagine, but if we don’t learn what is necessary to get us there, we will just stay in the hamster repeating the lesson over and over. We may leave one relationship and move into the next, but the same patterns show up. We may leave one job for the next and the same patterns keep repeating themselves. We think our prayers are being answered for getting us out of one toxic situation only to find ourselves in another one. Where our thoughts and prayers go matter to the energy we are putting out into the Universe. We can’t escape or pretend to be somewhere we are not, energy is energy. It’s not judging us, it just is. So, even in the moments we are not getting what we want, we need to find away to celebrate.

“Remember that sometimes NOT getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”

-Dalai Lama

If we have faith in a Creator who is the encapsulation of love, why would we think what we were going through isn’t a necessary step to help us achieve love’s full embrace? Why would we think a Being who represents love is punishing us? The only one punishing us is ourselves and maybe other humans are trying to, but they can’t break our soul. They can’t destroy the love within us, no matter what hate they may throw at us. Our love is ours. Only we can lock it up in the dark and make it our prisoner.

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My perspective of truth is that I’m being led to be able to love to my full capability. Everything I experience is a stepping-stone to build my love for myself, for Source, for loved ones, for strangers, for the environment, for animals, for the planet, and for the Universe. Each lesson I get, I can choose to learn from or repeat. My kids are definitely able to show me the ones I need to repeat. I also get to see where I’ve healed and how I’m breaking generations of unhealthy patterns. Little steps, that’s all there ever is. So I’ve learned to surrender, sometimes with tight fists at first, but eventually, I remember—I’m loved more than I can humanly imagine. Everything is happening exactly the way it needs to for each person to learn what he or she are meant to learn in this life.  We have to become aware, accept, and then we get to take action. That is where we celebrate!!

How do we celebrate what doesn’t work, the big NO, the drama, the chaos, the illness, the pain, and the struggle?

9 Ways to Celebrate What Doesn’t Work

  1. Have a dance party! Make a playlist of music that gets your heart pumping. Know that no matter what the challenge is, it is leading you where you are supposed to be. Honor the love in your heart. If you are grieving, know that you are grieving because of your capability to love. If a partner left you, or you needed to leave them, dance because it wasn’t the right relationship for you to experience your best love story. Celebrate the cancer, illness, or disability because with it you have an amazing tool to teach others love and compassion while learning how to embrace the love within you on your journey through the pain.
  2. Go do something you love. Have that amazing dinner, explore somewhere new, visit with friends, take that walk, ride, or run; drive to the beach, mountains, or desert. We will be covering this more in the days to come.
  3. Get down on your knees and pray. Stand-up, with your hands in the air, and pray. Lie down in your bed and pray. Just pray in gratitude to learn from the lesson in front of you, and be grateful for the love that lies behind it.
  4. Write out a gratitude list for everything that the “not getting” is teaching you. Write about how grateful you are for the mistakes, the lessons, the failures, and the challenges because they are giving you opportunities to learn about perspective. We make the choice how we want to view anything in our lives. We don’t have to be victims of anything that we don’t choose to. Gratitude is a perspective that says, I’m bigger than anything that happens to me. I’m the love inside me and for that I will celebrate and be grateful.
  5. Create a spot in your life for peace. It can be the bathroom, a closet, a room, a bench, a tree, a chair, etc. Wherever it is, make this your spot to go to when you need to feel peace when you thought you knew what was best for your life and it didn’t work out the way you thought it would. This is the place that reminds you that even your trials are part of the master plan. This is the place where you embrace the love within you to feel at peace with what is happening around you.
  6. Find a plant, tree, flower, and/or animal that makes you feel AWE. Celebrate the simplistic AWE of life, of creation. You are here! You are alive! That is something to celebrate. If you aren’t where you want to be, make sure you are taking a step on your path in the direction you actually want to be going. Celebrate the AWE inside of you.
  7. Create something beautiful! I personally love word collages (click here to see more) and writing, but this can also include things like gardening, painting, drawing, photography, knitting, stenciling, needlepoint, etc. Just be creative and use your energy to create something beautiful. IMG_3371
  8. Hug someone you love. Not just a few second hug. Hug them for a whole minute. Feel the life of someone you love in your arms. Listen to her/his heartbeat and yours.  Take deep breaths and match your breathing with hers/his. We can celebrate what doesn’t work by embracing what does—LOVE!
  9. Play and laugh! Bring out the childlike energy within yourself and find a way to play and be joyful in the moment. If you have an animal play with her/him. My kids and I play the try not to laugh or smile game while watching funny videos on YouTube. Appreciate the moment you are in. Laughing yoga is a fun way to release tension and play. Just play! What doesn’t work matters a lot less when we appreciate what does.

Be real with yourself. If you are feeling like the victim of something that is happening to you, be there with the feelings. Then, look at different ways you can choose to look at the situation. When you are ready to open yourself up to the possibilities of seeing things differently— Celebrate that! Don’t beat yourself up for your bad mood or dark feelings, just know that is where you are in the moment and when you are ready to move out of that moment, you have choices. That in itself is a reason to celebrate. I love seeing the world through the eyes of perspective because I’m never trapped. I can ALWAYS choose to see things differently. I can be the person who is grateful for the rain or who dreads it, the choice is mine and it’s yours too.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 67 – Celebrating What Hasn’t Worked in My Life

 

 

A Poem to Say Goodbye

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On January 26, 2011, my father passed away. He died of prostate cancer which was diagnosed at stage 4. He actually lived for awhile and was able to establish wonderful relationships with my kids during their first few years of life. He wanted to plan his final celebration before he left, and he asked me if I would write a poem for his prayer card. My dad was always a fan of my writing. I wrote the poem and even got to read it to him before he passed. I stayed at the hospital with him those final days and held him while he took his final breaths. We healed our past hurts and moved on to have a beautiful relationship. I feel honored that I was able to write this poem to celebrate his life and accomplishments.

Celebrate me

Celebrate my abilities.

Celebrate me today,

For I got a Golden Ticket home.

The storm has ended,

So feel me in the warmth of the Sun.

I am free now to be with you in a different way.

When you feel a push of passion,

A splash of laughter,

That’s me being your cheerleader from above.

Remember me when you are stuck,

And need to move.

I WILL be there.

I have only left my body,

It couldn’t keep up with me.

I have not left you,

I am here in every memory.

Keep me alive by living out loud.

Don’t stop because of me.

Keep my voice in your head,

And my memory in your heart.

Celebrate Me.

My prayers go out to all the families and friends who have had to endure the loss of loved ones.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff