90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 56 – The Safety of My Self-Love

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 56: The Safety of My Self-Love

Dear Universe,

I feel so incredibly safe since I started truly loving myself. I know I’m on this journey doing the best I can. I have to commit to growing and expanding the love within me. I can only do that by uncovering the things that are blocking me from experiencing the full capacity of my love. I can’t put my faith in human interpretations of words. I have to go deeper. I have to find my connections in the loving energy that the words can’t express, but that actions can show. It’s more important for me to grow and expand than shrink and contain.

I’m a big fan of people who live with love as their guiding force; some are Christians, some are Jews, some are Muslims, some are Hindus, some are Buddhists, some are atheists, some are Democrats, some are Republicans, some are Americans, Some have dark skin, some have light skin, some are homosexual, some are heterosexual, some are women, some are men, and I can go on and on. Loving energy cannot be contained into any one path or any one title. When I found the love within myself beyond what I’ve been taught to fear—I found peace, connection, love, hope, and joy.

I will choose paths spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially that help me to understand love and how to live my life from a loving place from the inside out. I choose people to guide me on my personal path who teach me how to expand my love, help me accept all of my light and darkness within me, so that I can serve humanity shining my brightest light possible. Any belief (perspective of truth) I choose that keeps me from experiencing love is a belief to be questioned and transformed. I’m embracing the all-encompassing energy of love, which means I need to know how to love and honor myself so that the love is always safe and secure.

The safety of my self-love protects me and keeps my boundaries healthy. I love the journey I’m on. I love getting to learn about the fears I still have and the ones I’ve grown out of. I love that no matter how others treat me; I will love me more and do what is best for my journey. I love me, so I take care of me. I can’t expect someone else to take care of me better than I’m taking care of myself. If someone’s energy isn’t healthy for me to be around, I have to make choices to protect me, not from a place of fear, but from a place of self-care. I want to serve the world with my best foot forward, and I can only do that by putting the oxygen mask on me first. The better I treat myself, the better I can treat the world outside of me.

I’m growing my own beautiful garden within my mind. I’m choosing to nourish this garden with lots of love. I’m choosing to grow and expand this garden through my loving actions towards myself and others. I’m choosing seeds from other’s beautiful gardens that match the loving energy I have inside me. How I maintain my garden is up to me. What plants, trees, and flowers I choose to plant is up to me. What seeds I choose to let go of is up to me. I choose not to let the smothering vines of fear take over my garden. I want to dig them out from the roots. Those roots told me I wasn’t lovable exactly as I am. Those roots said I had no value or worth. Those roots told me to fear what is different. I’m digging these roots up. I’m learning from what happens when I leave these vines unattended. I’m seeing how my self-love keeps these vines from coming back and smuggling all my beautiful species I’ve planted.

I’m worthy of the love I give to myself. I’m worthy of the time I contribute to my self-care. I’m worthy of the nurturing I feed my body, mind, and soul. I am created from Divine Energy, the purest of all lights. I honor the energy that created me by letting my love for myself shine through connecting me to Source energy, the strongest and most beautiful light that lives within me.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful that love cannot be contained within any ONE path
  2. I’m grateful to know my worth so that I can love myself
  3. I’m grateful for each day I get to expand and grow from the love within me
  4. I’m grateful for the opportunities I get to learn from other people’s loving actions
  5. I’m grateful to connect to the light of the Divine through the light shining within me.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 56 – The Safe Foundation of Self-Love

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 56 – The Safe Foundation of Self-Love

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 56: The Safe Foundation of Self-Love

“It is easy to live for others, everybody does. I call on you to live for yourselves.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The last week we have been diving into the importance of self-worth. When I was planning out the layout of Part II, I went back and forth whether to put the self-love or self-worth section first. They go hand in hand, but as I thought about it and the process I went through, I realized that I had to gain self-worth to start liking myself. Once I started liking myself, the path to loving myself was smooth. I wasn’t trying to force it. I remember the first time I looked into the mirror and said, “I love you” as an exercise, that’s when I found out how much I didn’t like myself. I saw how brutal I was to the person looking back at me. I worked on healing that before I could look back in the mirror and say, “I love you” and truly mean it.

Self-love is the safest foundation we can build our lives on. Self-love is the glue. We need self-love for all the other elements of love (Days 32-35), acceptance (Days 36-41), perspective (Days 42-46), gratitude (Days 47-50), and self-worth (Days 51-55) to grow and expand. Without self-love we fall off the wagon and struggle to get back on. We struggle to find our way through the dark tunnels and small confined boxes. Self-love is the essence of what living in the light is about. When we love ourselves fully, deeply, and without question, we are able to shine our lights at full capacity.

“Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It is sanity.”

-Katrina Mayer

Many of us have been raised in ways that were led by fear. That makes the understanding of what love is very confusing. That makes self-love even more confusing. This is where confusion can set in about someone who loves themselves too much (which is not possible) and someone who is ego driven. Ego comes from our fears, not love. It doesn’t mean anyone who lives in their ego driven world is a bad person, they are just caught up in their own dark energy that seeks outside approval from the world. Often it comes from deep levels of self-loathing. They are trying to prove something to the world and seeking love from the outside world because they can’t find it inside themselves. Have you ever been caught up in this downward spiral? I know I have. When we are there, we start taking our lack of love for ourselves out on the world. We want someone else to make us feel safe, because we can’t find that safety within our own feelings about ourselves. Self-love is where our safety lies. We just need to move past all the fears that have been blocking us from seeing the full capacity of our own lights.

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If you read the Day 55 post from the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series, “How I Honor the Person I Am” I talk a little bit about how I’m connected to my spirituality through my self-love. I’ve studied many different religious paths on an academic level. I’ve looked for similarities and differences. I’ve looked for the love and fear within the readings. I’ve looked how human words whether in text or in services have brought perspectives of fear or love into their interpretations. I’m a spiritual person, so my connection to Spirit is very important to my journey, but my connection does not come from a human level, so no words spoken or written can contain my connection. No titles can hold me to the point where I can’t spot the love within another human.

If I have a weak moment where my own darkness is dimming my light, I know I have to go back to the truest form of love, the love within myself to reconnect beyond what the outside world tells me. Many people try to connect to spirit through words, but words and interpretation of words are apart of our human journey. Spirit is an energy beyond what we as humans can ever contain. In my perspective of truth, the closest I will ever get to feeling and honoring a true connection to Spirit is through the energy of love. I know that my capacity to love and be loved is at it’s highest when I love myself. I have to have it within me to fully feel the effects of it outside of me.  I CHOOSE LOVE. I choose love to connect me to myself, to the Divine Creator, to humanity, and to the planet. That is all created through my safe foundation of self-love.

When I’m honoring the love within me—I’m safe. It doesn’t matter what people don’t love me back. That is their business. That is their journey. The people who are meant to be on my journey will be there for as long as they are meant to be. When they leave or I shut the door, I’m still safe within the love I feel for myself. I can grieve them knowing they played an important role on my journey. I can feel the loss of their energy in my life. I can have moments of fear where I wonder if I will ever feel that way for someone again. That is apart of honoring their part in my journey, but in the end, I will still be there for me. I will be grateful that I was able to love someone so much. This can of course extend to animals, the Earth, our environment, etc.

The more we love ourselves and understand our mistakes, failures, triumphs, darkness, and light, the more we can see that it’s not our place to judge someone else’s life journey. It’s more important to keep our  own gardens the way we want them.

“I see our choices of perspectives of truth as the garden we create in our minds. I choose what seeds I’m going to plant. I decide how to treat the soil. I figure out the way I want to water my garden. I choose which weeds I want to pull. I determine how much light each flower, plant, vine, bush, or tree needs. I choose the space between each life form to support their growth. Other people can give me seeds to flowers, plants, trees, weeds, smuggling vines, invasive species, fertilizers, etc. I get to choose whether to plant or use them. If it doesn’t fit into the garden I’m creating, I can put it in my pocket to possibly plant later, or get rid of it completely. The choice is MINE and MINE ALONE!”

–Rachael Wolff, Day 46

We keep our gardens by being aware of our light and darkness and accepting ourselves for the person we are and the one we choose to be through our choices. When we choose to love ourselves, we have the ability to create gardens of AWE and AMAZEMENT. Our love guides us how to care for the gardens in our minds. Our love for ourselves gives us the beautiful seeds to pass onto others. Self-love gives us so much room to grow and expand without being contained by fear-driven ideas and demands. We are safe because the love we have for ourselves cannot be taken away by anything outside of us. Our gardens are in our minds, but when we create them from self-love, that creation is coming from the energy of our light within us, our soul.

Just for Today

Could you name three things you love about yourself everyday for 90 days? If you don’t think you can, start today. If you think you can, start today. If you want to see the biggest transformation that you will EVER see, start today. A hint into finding things you love about yourself is to look at what you love about others. If you spot it in someone else— It’s in you too! Enjoy the journey!

Thank you for reading and growing with me. I hope this journey helps you to create and expand the gardens of your dreams! Don’t limit your garden’s beauty. SHINE BRIGHT!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 56 – The Safety of My Self-Love