90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 80 – Living Gratitude in My Relationships

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 80: Living Gratitude in My Relationships

Dear Universe,

I feel so incredibly blessed to have the relationships I do in my life. I feel blessed to have learned so much from the relationships of my past. I feel so incredibly blessed to be living gratitude in my relationships more than I choose to live in lack now. I’m so incredibly grateful to experience so many different people with different backgrounds, experience, and opinions. Each one helps me to grow exponentially.

Living Gratitude in my relationships has shown me exactly where I am in my perspective. When I see someone’s light, I’m in my light. If I see and react to someone’s darkness, I’m in my darkness. If I respond to someone’s darkness from a loving and grateful place, I’m in my brightest light. If I feel my inner people pleaser emerging, I’m stuck in feelings and energy of lack. If I do things for others, because it feels good to do it, I’m in my feelings and energy of abundance. Living in gratitude helps me to spot, shift, and change my feelings, thoughts, and actions to project abundance to the people I’ve chosen to love, honor, and respect. I’m so incredibly grateful to have learned how to do this. The blessings that have come from living gratitude in my relationships are nothing short of miracles.

Seeing the best in people in my life has helped me to see the best in myself. When I can spot the beauty in them, I see that I had to project that beauty out to be attracted back to me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to recognize and appreciate it. I would still be stuck in picking apart the other person if I was picking apart myself. I see now that the only time I’m picking on someone else to others or even to myself is when I’m digging at myself. I may be angry with myself for saying yes when I know that I wanted to say no. I may be feeling weak because I sacrificed my healthy boundaries to appease someone else’s comfort. I may be feeling justified in my toxic energy I’m putting out because someone else’s is worse. I may be feeling insecure about who I am so I take it out on someone else.  Anyway I look at it, it all comes back to the energy that I’m putting out and that is MY choice.

I want the people I love to know exactly how much I love and appreciate them. I want them to see how much them being in my life means to me. I can only do this by choosing to live in gratitude in my relationships. In order to do that, I must decide to live gratitude in my life.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for my children for being who they are and showing me ways to be a better mom daily.
  2. I’m grateful for my dad and my “special mom” who taught me so much about love, life, growth, and death.
  3. I’m grateful for my mom being a beacon of light even when I am in my darkness.
  4. I’m grateful for my sister for helping me to learn so much about what it means to be strong and compassionate while standing up for the people we love. I’m incredibly grateful for her ability to bring out the best laughs in me by the mere sound of her laughter.
  5. I’m grateful for my stepdad for loving me like I am his own and being such an amazing friend.
  6. I’m grateful to my amazing partner who I can love and accept for who he is and where we are in each moment. I’m so grateful we both know how to support each other in loving and encouraging ways.
  7. I’m grateful to all my incredible extended family who show up with love and support no matter how much time passes.
  8. I’m grateful to my absolutely AMAZING soul sister and agent for encouraging me to spread my voice and my work as we travel this life’s journey together. I’m so incredibly grateful for the day when everything came together in the Universe for us to meet over a decade ago.
  9. I’m grateful for my friends new and old who show me my light and my darkness and give me so many opportunities to live, laugh, and love.
  10. I’m grateful for the relationships that trigger my darkness so I can see it and heal it.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

If you missed it, check out today’s installment get 6 Simple Steps to Living Gratitude in Your Relationships by following this link: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 80 – Living Gratitude in Our Relationships

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 80 – Living Gratitude in Our Relationships

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 80: Living Gratitude in Our Relationships

“Service and gratitude will fuel your relationship; entitlement and expectation will poison it. “

-Steve Maraboli

Today we are expanding on what I covered in Part II on Day 49 “Gratitude in Our Relationships”. Living gratitude is the next step in the process. Our relationships are our biggest teachers for where we are in our darkness and our light. The longer we are in a relationship with someone, the more he/she gets to see us unmasked. That is why familial relationships and romantic relationships have the opportunity to see the most light (love/abundance) and dark (fear/lack) in us, just like we have a front row seat to see the most of their light and their darkness.

Any relationship we put our identity into the title of that relationship has a better chance of them and us lingering in darkness (Day 77). The best way to bring our relationships into the light is through gratitude. When we sit in gratitude, our focus is on love, abundance, and light. We are seeing the love within ourselves and within them. We are seeing the relationships right now in this moment instead of putting our focus on the past or some unknown future. If our focus is on gratitude, love, and abundance, we project gratitude, love and abundance onto the people we are with. When they feel that coming off of us, if they are healthy, loving individuals it will be reflected back to us.

Side Note: If the individuals are stuck in their darkness, I will be talking about that on Days 81-84, because we are going to have people in our lives who will try to dim our lights, so having tools is extremely important.

We have a choice in our relationships of where to put our focus. If we are constantly focused on everything these relationships don’t offer us, what the individuals aren’t doing, how they aren’t filling our expectations, how being her/himself isn’t enough and/or our own sense of entitlement—We are stuck in our own darkness and lack. We only see in lack if we are there ourselves. When our focus is on love, light, and abundance, we see from a loving place. We project our light. The blessing is when we start focusing on the light in others; their light has the opportunity to shine even brighter. Sometimes our darkness wasn’t dimming their light, it was just blinding us to it because we were stuck in our dark.

Living gratitude in our relationships is path to our authentic joy. Just think of the difference in how you feel when you are focused on the things you love as opposed to the things you hate. How do you feel in your body when you are celebrating the love within you? How do you feel in your body when your energy is in the darkness of hate? Each of those is projecting out of you like an invisible beacon and it is attracting back matching energy. Your light is attracting the light within the people around you. Your darkness is attracting the darkness within the people around you. This is not a judgment. In religious terms, we reap what we sow. We only receive what we already have inside and what we are spreading to others is what will we get back. In ancient religious terms it is the Law of karma, which is defined as a natural and universal law (karma is also used philosophically in many contexts outside of it’s religious roots). In energy terms, it’s the Law of Attraction. No matter what way we choose to look at it, we arrive at the same place. What we put out there is what we will get back.

If you are struggling with your perspectives on the people in your life, and you want to move your darkness out of the way to get a clear picture—Living gratitude in your relationships is the path you want! Living gratitude is the path to an abundant life filled with love and light. We get what we focus on. Our perspective is our super power. We get to choose how we want to use it. Do we want to fuel the light or the darkness? I have a feeling if you are reading this series, or even just this particular day, you were brought here because you are being led to fuel your light.

“Gratitude helps us love well by keeping us focused on the beauty in our relationship and the person we love.”

-M.J. Ryan

Here’s how to get started:

6 Simple Steps to Living Gratitude in Your Relationships

  1. Get out your gratitude journal. Each day, write three things you are grateful for about each individual you are closest to. If you have more in that day, write more. You don’t have to limit your gratitude. FEEL IT!
  2. Write a list of the personality traits you like/love about the people you’ve invited into your life and/or energy field. Be conscious on how focusing your energy here makes you feel.
  3. Write about what this person has taught you about yourself—No matter what you have learned, becoming more aware is a blessing and something to be EXTREMELY grateful for. Once we see ourselves, we have the ability to change, grow, and expand. We can’t do that if we don’t see what holds us back and what launches us forward. Our relationships show us what we need to know about ourselves, and it doesn’t matter if the lesson comes from darkness or light. We projected out the energy to attract the lesson to us. Every lesson we get gives us a chance to move into the light or darkness within ourselves. Being grateful moves us out of any darkness.
  4. Give hugs that last more than 20 seconds when you are sharing your gratitude with a loved one. This may feel odd at first, but it is EXTREMELY beneficial to both of your energy fields. There is this exhale that happens—Feels like a release. It can be very energizing and/or freeing. It’s a hard feeling to explain because it is different for everyone depending on where they are in their own energy.
  5. For every one thing that annoys you about a person, come up with three things that make you grateful about their behavior, choices, who they are, and/or how their actions or words to help you. You can make this fun too. If it makes you laugh, it’s cleansing that toxic energy out of you. Enjoy the process.
  6. Share your gratitude every chance you get! You are not entitled to anything. What a person gives to you is a gift to be grateful for. When you understand and appreciate that, you are living gratitude in your relationships. There is a saying that I love, Expectations are future resentments waiting to happen.

As I’ve said throughout this entire series, you are responsible for your feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, reactions, and responses. You ARE NOT responsible for theirs. Your job is to keep your energy clean and full of light. If deep down inside they want to shine their light too—They will! If they want to be stuck in their own darkness—They will! You don’t need anybody to do anything in order for you to choose living in gratitude with him/her.

Living gratitude is a choice we make for ourselves to see clearly, like I said before if the person is stuck in their own darkness, I will give you tools to protect yourself while continuing to live in love, abundance, and light in the upcoming days.

We have to focus on cleaning up or own energy. Once we do that—MIRACLES HAPPEN! We only recognize them when our energy is in the right place to see them unfold in front of our eyes. I’ve watched relationships completely shift. I’ve seen people come in and others leave. I’ve seen the blessings of Divine timing. I’ve seen relationships on the verge of death be brought back to life. SO MANY BLESSINGS come from living gratitude in our relationships. The question is what do you want your energy to be on lack or abundance? Which one feels better? If you can answer those questions then all you have to do is make the choice to live in that energy! The energy you put in is the energy you will get back. Your relationships deserve the best you. It will help you see the best them. How beautiful is that? We have to want to live here and be willing to put in the work in order to see the blessings that come from living gratitude in our relationships. It really is our choice. Be empowered to do the work you need to do in order to change your life.

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Continue reading “90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 80 – Living Gratitude in Our Relationships”

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 79 – Healthy Communication Tools

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 79: Healthy Communication Tools

Before I ask you to sit with me,

I must be able to sit with myself.

Before I ask you to accept my pain,

I have to accept the pain myself.

Before I ask you to love me,

I have to be MADLY in love with myself.

-C.Thoth

In order to keep our internal homes clean for visitors (Day 74), healthy communication is key. We learn so much about ourselves by how we communicate with others. Our communication skills show us if we are in-line with our intentions of love and light, or if we are connected to our own darkness. If we are coming from a place of darkness (fear, blame, shame, hate, vengeance, ignorance, prejudice, AGAINST, name-calling, yelling, etc.), we are incapable of having healthy communication with others. We will bring toxic energy into the communication. Our intentions will be aligned with fear (darkness) instead of love (light). Having healthy communication with others is about us staying in our light and sharing it with others. We have the choice to bring light or submit to darkness.

When the person we are communicating with brings their light, and we bring our light, even in the disagreements there will be light. Both parties can connect even with differing perspectives of truth. The connection is through love, peace, and joy. When we stand for love and light, we are attracted to people who also stand for the spreading of love and light. Communication becomes so much more interesting when people start enjoying learning about different perspectives of truth, instead of condemning them. We can do this in our intimate relationships as much as we do it with individuals from across the world who are strangers to us. Our openness to gain understanding of where others are coming from spreads light in our homes and in the world around us.

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”

-Tony Robbins

10 Healthy Communication Tools

  1. Be aware of where your energy is. Are you communicating from a loving place or a fear-filled one? It can’t be both. If your thoughts are confused, slow down and sit in your awareness before you speak.
  2. Speak from a loving place. If you want the best communication, make sure you are speaking in terms of solutions (love/light), not problems (fear/darkness). With fear we get stuck in our own darkness and others are more likely to engage in theirs if that is where we are.
  3. Know your intentions. Be clear of what your intentions are with the person your communicating with. If you’re not clear, they won’t receive you clearly.
  4. Express your feelings. Speak in terms of I feel ____________ when you did _______________ or do ________________. This communicates your feelings without BLAMING and or making someone responsible for your feelings positive and/or negative. Another person isn’t responsible for making you feel anything, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not healthy to let them know that particular actions and/or words bring up specific feelings in you. Unless the person is unhealthy and sick, most likely they didn’t intentionally mean to cause you pain. Only when we are in our own darkness do we intentionally cause other people pain and suffering (we will be discussing that in the days to come).
  5. Listen from a loving place. When we listen from a loving place, we are adding our light to the exchange. This doesn’t mean the other person won’t stay in their darkness if that is where they are, but we don’t add to it. When we add to the darkness, we put ourselves into the darkness. Our light is dimmed and we no longer see clearly.
  6. Speak in perspectives of truth. Each individual has his or her own perspectives of truth (Days 42-46). When we can communicate clearly from this place, we don’t have the expectations of others being exactly where we are and to understanding our point of view. We don’t communicate in terms of I’m right and you’re wrong. Instead, we say this is where I’m coming from
  7. Listen in terms of perspectives of truth. The goal is to understand where the other person is coming from. Remember they are writing their own story. Listen for what their story about themselves is saying. Is what they are saying coming from perspectives of love or fear? How are those perspectives making them feel? How are their perspectives effecting communication with you?
  8. Take a break when needed. If communications gets challenging, take a minute to re-center yourself if needed. Go to the bathroom and take some deep breaths, align with your light and intentions, and pray for the words to help you communicate clearly.
  9. Agree to disagree when needed. Remember you are each speaking and listening from your own perspectives of truth. You can simply let the other person know if their perspectives are bringing peace to his or her life, you are happy for him/her. If you are aligned with your own energy and intentions, your perspectives are bringing you a sense of calm no matter where the other person is.
  10. End communications on a note of gratitude. It doesn’t matter how the communication went—You learned something! You may have learned beautiful things about a person where light connected to light, even if some of the perspectives were different. You may have learned where you still have work to do on your own dark corners, which awareness is a thing to definitely be grateful for. You may have learned about perspectives of truth led by fear that you can be grateful that you don’t believe because you see the negative effects they have on a person’s thinking. There is ALWAYS a place for gratitude.

Remember to enjoy the journey! We aren’t going to do this perfectly. We are all learning to be the best we can. We can only do this journey one step at a time.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff  ©2019

Need more inspiration? Read 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 79 – Committing to Healthy Communication

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 76 – Using Perspective Tools to Navigate Our Relationships

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 76: Using Perspective Tools to Navigate Our Relationships

“Each time you are tempted to become angry, or jealous, or fearful and you challenge that feeling, you empower yourself.”

-Gary Zukav

In Part II, I covered the topic of perspective (Days 42-46). We can’t use the tools of perspective until we understand how our perspectives of truth affect our lives. Until we understand about perspectives we want to see us as right and them as wrong. This view is a dark path that leads to fear, anger, hate, resentment, jealousy, revenge, envy, and codependency. We ALL know the effects of these things on our relationships.

Using perspective tools to navigate our relationships opens us up to hear what our family members, romantic partners, friends, coworkers, bosses, clients, and others are saying and where they are coming from. The more we can use our perspective tools the healthier we will be in our relationships, because as we ALL know NOBODY is going to agree with the when, where, how and why of everything we do, say, and feel. Just like, we won’t ALWAYS agree with someone else’s choices.

Using perspective tools is away to reduce the stress of not seeing things from the same angle, because really, that is all it is. We will never have the same exact view of life as any other person. We ALL have the journey each of us are meant to have, no two will ever be exactly the same. If we plan on taking any kind of relationship path with a person, the best we can do is be open to try to understand. It doesn’t mean we have to agree or change our ways, but by understanding our perspectives of truth, then making the effort to understand theirs—There is peace. Communication will improve, but we will talk about that a little later in the series. For now, we will focus on how to use perspective tools to navigate our relationships.

5 Ways You Can Use Perspective Tools

  1. We are either interpreting the moment from a place of love (light) or fear (darkness). The first step is to look at what you and the person you’re communicating with are projecting, love or fear. If either party is projecting fear, question where the fear is coming from inside.
  2. We ALL have a story we are telling. No matter what happens there are lots of ways to write our stories. When we don’t like the way we feel, think, and/or act we can choose a different way. We give the power to our stories. We decide if our story is going to be led by love or fear. How do we want our character to treat the secondary character in front of us?
  3. Try to see from the perspective of the other person. This means you have to ask a lot of questions to figure it out. Don’t tell the person how they should feel, think, or act. Ask questions to uncover why they are feeling, thinking, and/or acting the way they are. If you take the time to understand where they are coming from it’s easier for them to hear you when you explain where you are coming from.
  4. Speak in terms of perspective. You need an understanding of your perspective of truth that works in your life. Their perspective of truth might work in their life. You can ask: Does thinking the way you do bring joy and peace to your life? If it doesn’t, and your perspective of truth does bring joy and peace to your life, you are now open to explain without telling them they HAVE to change. The choice is theirs. It all depends on the perspectives we choose to believe. If your perspective doesn’t bring you peace and joy, maybe the other person may have perspectives you may want to implement in your life.
  5. KEEP QUESTIONING YOUR THOUGHTS!!! Please, if you find yourself blaming, shaming, and judging others or yourself— Go back to Part I (Days 1-30) of the 90-Day A Better Me Seriesand work through what is keeping you from having healthy relationships with others. The more we question our thinking, the better we will be.

If we use these tools, we start getting real honest with ourselves about the people we are inviting into our lives. We start noticing the energy they are bringing with them and how we feel when we are around them. If they are large sources of darkness, the more we spot it, the more we can protect ourselves from it. We will get more into that later. Like we talked about yesterday, we first have to stay present with the person standing in front of us. Once we are present, we see perspectives of truth clearly.

Once we see that we are all just interpreting life through our own unique perspective, we stop taking it so personally when people don’t agree with ours. We can question our perspectives of truth without feeling violated. It becomes much easier to say, we just see things from a different perspective and that’s okay. This is why mine works for me… If yours works for you and brings you peace and joy believing what you do—GREAT!

After we learn to navigate our relationships through the use of perspective tools, it makes it much easier to see which relationships work and which ones don’t in our lives. The more peaceful we remain in someone else’s chaos, the more the energy shifts and changes. The other person will either find a place of calm with you, or they may start unconsciously trying to stir up more chaos to break the relationship. Either way, you will be blessed the calmer and more peaceful you stay. The Law of Attraction will work in your favor.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 76

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 75 – Being Present with the People We Invite Into Our Lives

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 75: Being Present with the People We Invite Into Our Lives

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. People know themselves much better than you do. That’s why it’s important to stop expecting them to be something other than who they are.”

–Maya Angelou

We blind ourselves to see the people we are with when our focus in on the past and/or the future. We don’t see the person they are showing us. So much information is given in the moment. It’s the actions right now, not the promises of any unforeseen future that matter. If we allow people into our physical and internal lives, the best thing we can do for ourselves and the relationship is to be conscious in each moment we are with them. Sometimes we find that person doesn’t fit into the internal life we are working on living. They may have just meant to come in to show us a lesson, then leave. A person won’t leave our internal home until we shut the door. They will linger around stirring up lessons because we didn’t learn them when they were physically in our lives. Have you ever hung onto an unhealthy relationship for a lot longer than the relationship was actually about of your life? This relationship could be with a family member, friend, romantic partner, community member, boss and/or coworker.

“You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.”

-Tony Gaskins

When we are present with the people in our lives, we can consciously make choices that show that person how to treat us. We don’t lie down in front of them for them to wipe their feet on us, because we know we are not doormats. We have to be present with others and with ourselves to see how we are allowing others to treat us. If we love and respect ourselves, remain present, and stay mentally conscious, we will be able to respond in a way that is healthy for us.

“You silently teach others how to treat you by how you treat yourself. Move yourself up your priority list immediately.”

– Lisa Marie Rosat

The reason I have Part I, II, and III of the 90-Day A Better Me Seriesis that it take us being and doing better before we can be treated better by others and treat others better. Only then can we be conscious with each person in each moment we are interacting. This is not a process that happens over night.  We will get the exact experiences we need to help us learn, grow, and expand our consciousness. Each person who comes into our physical lives serves a purpose. Each person we invite into our internal homes gives us our greatest lessons and blessings. We bring our light and darkness to the forefront through our exchanges. If we become aware and present— We learn, grow and expand our abundant lives!

10 Ways to be Present with the People We Invite into Our Lives

  1. Stop attaching to promises of the future.
  2. Actively listen to what the person is doing and saying—Are the two even matching up? Remember, they are showing you who they are.
  3. Let the past go and see the person who is standing in front of you. People can and do change, but only as much as they want to. The same goes for you!
  4. Show yourself love, so that you are treating yourself the way you want to be treated by someone else. When the energies match up—You will be consciously showing them how to treat you in each moment.
  5. DON’T EVER neglect your self-care! If you do, it will be hard for you to be present enough to see the person in front of you.
  6. Don’t expect others to do what you are not doing for yourself. You are the example they will follow in any given moment.
  7. Don’t expect others to be more than they who they are. If you are unhappy with the person in front of you—Change your perspectives, feelings, thoughts, and actions even if that action is to walk out the door and shut it. You aren’t responsible for someone else changing; you are only responsible for yourself.
  8. Be conscious if you are shining your light (love) or your darkness (fear) into your interactions with others. This means you are conscious of where your energy is while your listening and speaking and that your actions in that moment are reflecting the energy you want to be contributing to the situation. This keeps you PRESENT!
  9. Ask yourself—What is the person I’m allowing into my life teaching me in this moment? What am I learning from how I’m feeling, thinking, believing, and acting? Is there anything I can change in this moment?
  10. Be honest about who you are! If you can’t be honest, that is not a healthy relationship to have in your life and it will only contribute to growing your own darkness. When we are present, we see who belongs and who doesn’t belong in our lives. You have to love yourself enough to embrace the person you are. The people who genuinely love you will stay. The ones who don’t will leave. You can save a lot of time and trouble by being honest in your interactions.

Enjoy the journey of presence!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 75 -Being Present With the People I Invite Into My Life

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 71 -Living Gratitude In My Daily Life

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 71: Living Gratitude In My Daily Life

Dear Universe,

Living gratitude is my way of saying I trust the path that is being lit up for me. I trust that by making the choices that I do, I’m honoring my Creator, my journey, and myself. I’m grateful for this life and all the lessons I’m here to learn, teach, absorb, and grow from.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful to my Creator for allowing me to wake this morning to live this day.
  2. I’m grateful to be able to pray for those I love.
  3. I’m grateful for the air I’m able to inhale and exhale in every second of everyday.
  4. I’m grateful for being able to open my eyes and see what’s around me.
  5. I’m grateful for the way my body feels during my first morning stretch.
  6. I’m grateful for an alarm clock that wakes me up, so that I can be apart of getting my children off to school.
  7. I’m grateful for the quiet moments on my morning walk with my dog.
  8. I’m grateful for the smells of Hazelnut coming from my morning coffee.
  9. I’m grateful for my kids running around because it means they are healthy enough to be getting off to school.
  10. I’m grateful that my kids get ready in enough time to make their bus.
  11. I’m grateful for the quiet time I have to read and write on a regular basis.
  12. I’m grateful I have lots of supportive people around me so that I have the time to write everyday.
  13. I’m grateful for a loving and generous partner who helps me to experience love each day.
  14. I’m grateful to have friends to celebrate and support each other’s journeys.
  15. I’m grateful for a family who knows how to show love in beautiful ways.
  16. I’m grateful for the love and support that surrounds my kids and I so that our environment stays a healthy place.
  17. I’m grateful for all the times relationships failed because it led me to appreciate the AMAZING relationships in my life today.
  18. I’m grateful for that person who cut me off because he showed me what an aware driver I am.
  19. I’m grateful to that woman who blamed me for her choices, because it showed me how much I’ve grown in the choices I make.
  20. I’m grateful to the cashier who caught the error in pricing.
  21. I’m grateful to my daughter for seeing the person behind us needed help lifting something at check-out and without question, she assisted.
  22. I’m grateful to see the kindness of strangers interacting together.
  23. I’m grateful I had the opportunity to be in the check-out line of the cashier who was having a bad day so that I could give her a smile and some kind words.
  24. I’m grateful for the person who flicked me off as I crossed the street because I feel blessed not to live that kind of angry life.
  25. I’m grateful for the person going so slow in front of me because it got me to see that I was moving too fast without thinking.
  26. I’m grateful for my kids coming home arguing because I they are home safe and sound.
  27. I’m grateful for my teenage son who still gives me hugs and hangs out with me.
  28. I’m grateful for my kids active social lives because I can see they are enjoying life.
  29. I’m grateful for having dinner at home with my children a minimum of five nights a week.
  30. I’m grateful for some of the wild conversations about teenage life.
  31. I’m grateful I grew through my teenage life to be where I am now.
  32. I’m grateful for the men who violated me because it helps me to teach my daughter ways to protect herself to the best of her ability.
  33. I’m grateful I know how important self-worth is so that I can give my children seeds as they move through their teenage years.
  34. I’m grateful for when I let my children’s behavior trigger old feelings, so they can come up to heal.
  35. I’m grateful for beautiful sunsets
  36. I’m grateful for the opportunity to see the birds flying in for the night to rest
  37. I’m grateful for water to hydrate myself with throughout the day.
  38. I’m grateful for new and different foods to eat and taste.
  39. I’m grateful that I have a kitchen to cook in.
  40. I’m grateful to my Creator for letting me this day.
  41. I’m grateful for the lessons I learned.
  42. I’m so happy and grateful for my opportunities to spread love.
  43. I’m so happy and grateful for the lives I touched and the ones who touched mine.
  44. I’m grateful for my AMAZING family who I learn and grow with everyday.
  45. I’m grateful for a day well lived.

It makes me feel so uplifted when I can show up with love even in the face of people who are filled with their own darkness. I love the feeling of shining a little light on someone’s dark day. I see the effects when I’m walking through a store and I have positive exchanges with people behind the counter, then the people around are more open to get into the fun and walk around the store with a smile on their face when I see them later. The energy just moves in such a beautiful way. I notice I’m more open to say hello and be patient with others if I make my exchanges pleasant. I love how the contagious energy grows and expands.

I love how when I’m standing in a long line and I engage in conversations with the people around me, time flies and even if I leave the store later than I thought, I’m happy about the time I got to enjoy with strangers.

Living gratitude fills me up to the point that I feel like I’m giving to others from a full tank. I’m so grateful to experience this life through the lens of gratitude.

 

With Love and Gratitude,
A Better Me

 

Rachael  Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 71 – Living Gratitude

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 70 – Doing What I Love

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 70: Doing What I Love

Dear Self,

You are just as important as all of the people I serve, so I’m honoring our journey by committing to do things I love daily. I want move through life with the energy of doing what I love to do. I know that by doing this, I will manifest more of what I love and will attract others around me who share my passions. There is no good reason not to spend time doing what I love to do daily. I know I might not be able to everything I love in one day, but I will commit to doing something I love EVERYDAY!

Here is a list of things I love doing:

  • Dancing to music with positive messages
  • Writing
  • Walking around the lake to look at the birds gathering at the island at the center of the lake
  • Nature walks and hiking off-trail
  • Going to the dog beach with my dog
  • Laughing
  • Yoga
  • Quality time with my family
  • Quality time with my friends
  • Quiet time to meditate and quiet my brain
  • Helping others discover their best selves
  • Eating flavorful foods
  • Spending Time Communicating with the Divine

With this list there is no excuses!  I can even add more things I love, because as I engage in this energy, more space will open up. I know if I don’t make time for doing the things I love, it’s because I’m not on my priority list and when I’m not on my priority list, things fall through the cracks. So, why not? I deserve my own time! The people I love deserve me to be operating as the best version of myself too.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful that I can MAKE time to do the things I love.
  2. I’m grateful for the energy I feel when I’m doing the things I love.
  3. I’m grateful for the joy that I feel when get to share my love with others.
  4. I’m grateful for today as an opportunity to do what I love to do.
  5. I’m grateful when I notice when it’s a good time to do what I love.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Are you doing what you love? 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 70 – Doing What We Love

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 70 – Doing What We Love

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 70: Doing What We Love

“Doing what you love is freedom. Loving what you do is happiness.”

-Lana Del Ray

We’ve reached a point where it’s not enough to KNOW what we love doing. Now, we need to do what we love. There is no more room for excuses why we aren’t taking steps towards doing what we love. The only reason we don’t is because we don’t love ourselves enough to experience the joy of it. Taking the steps is the key to having the ability to do what we love. Without taking steps, we will never get there. I can say I love doing this or that all day long, but until I do something about it, it will be the cause for the feeling of lack. That feeling of lack will permeate through everything I do and don’t do. That feeling of lack takes our energy down and we start manifesting and attracting things that will bring us more feelings of lack. THAT IS NOT WHAT WE WANT TO BE DOING!!

“Let’s do what we love and do a lot of it.”

-Marc Jacobs

If we want to manifest and attract abundance in our lives we have to be in the energy of abundance. We have to do the work. The work is to do what we love with energy of fulfillment, joy, and love. Why do we make this so hard? If we don’t love ourselves, and I mean really love ourselves, we sabotage any level of love that goes above what we feel for ourselves. That’s why I talked yesterday about loving our bodies and actively showing our bodies they are valued. They are the structure of our internal homes, yet many of us don’t take the time to care and love the vessel that is carrying us through this life. Instead, we focus on the lack of what it does or doesn’t do and the lack of what it doesn’t look like or feel like…this all ties into how our energy affects what we are attracting to our lives.

Why not love what we do and do what we love? What do we have to lose by investing some of our time taking steps to doing what we love? This isn’t just about work—This is about life! We have to start taking steps somewhere, and once we do all the rest begins to fall into place with the energy we are aligning ourselves with. Start doing what you love today! Don’t wait to take a step tomorrow.

“Believe in yourself, listen to your gut, and do what you love.”

-Dylan Lauren

What CAN YOU DO TODAY THAT WILL START CONTRIBUTING TO THE ENERGY OF DOING WHAT YOU LOVE?

If you love hiking—Start walking! Take walks daily. Find local areas to walk in nature. Don’t be surprised when hiking shoes come into your life, and the dream hiking trip falls into your lap. This is what happens when we start taking the steps.

If you love art—Start watching how-to videos EVERYDAY and practicing your skills! Don’t be surprised if one day someone offers to buy your work or you have your own spot in an art show. This is what happens when we start doing the work.

If you love to write—Start writing EVERYDAY! You can write in a journal, a blog, a book, social media posts, etc. Keep writing, study techniques, and reading other people’s writings who you admire. Don’t be surprised when opportunities to write come to your door. You’re attracting this to your life by the energy you’re putting out.

If you love helping others—Start volunteering your time EVERYDAY to help others in some way! If you are doing this from a pure place of love, not of trying to win points, or thinking it’s what you should be doing, you will start attracting people who truly want help to get past the position they are in right now. You will be helping, without enabling and the results will keep the love in your heart full. Don’t be surprised when all kinds of blessings come to your life for being in this place.

If you love being a parent—Do things EVERYDAY that support this love! Be present and see how the energy shifts and expands through your home. Your kids will feel that energy of love and it will permeate into what they do too. Don’t be surprised if parenting becomes a lot easier all because of where your head is.

If you love working numbers—Push yourself daily on number problems to solve! You can find all you need and more on the Intranet. Your skills start increasing and problem-solving becomes even more fun as you work the numbers. Don’t be surprised when opportunities start coming your way.

If you love acting—Start running lines, doing the exercises, and honing your craft DAILY! Don’t be surprised when the opportunity shows up with an opportunity to act for others.

If you love cooking—Spend time learning techniques and cooking DAILY. There is nothing we can’t learn today in this day and age. Everything we want to know is only a few finger strokes away. Don’t be surprised when more people start acknowledging your food and giving you opportunities to spread your love for cooking.

WHAT ACTION STEPS ARE YOU CHOOSING TO TAKE TODAY?

STOP TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU LOVE AND START DOING IT! Doing what you love might not lead to a paying gig, but it will improve your life in so many ways because you are taking the time to DO what you love. You will attract blessings beyond what you can even imagine. The way you approach the job you do will change even if your job title doesn’t. Eventually if you stick with the energy of doing what you love, you will start attracting job opportunities that will help you to grow and expand your love. It really is a truly AMAZING process to watch how this works in people’s lives.

So many amazing things have happened in my life once I started putting my whole heart into doing what I love. Once you start taking the steps, miracles start unfolding in front of your eyes. I feel complete AWE when I can see this energy working in my life and the lives of others. It gives me goose bumps EVERY time I hear someone tell me stories of how this has worked in their lives.  It will work for anyone who does the work to puts their energy in the place of love and abundance.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 70 – Doing What I Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 67 – Celebrating What Hasn’t Worked in My Life

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 67: Celebrating What Hasn’t Worked In My Life

Dear Universe,

I’m celebrating what hasn’t worked in my life. There are so many times I thought I knew what was best for me, and found out I knew nothing. My life is so much better because of all the things that didn’t work, which paved the way for things that have and are working.

  • When I was in high school, I got into my dream college only to find out that I couldn’t cover the financial end of things with no other option than not to go. No other schools had the program I wanted. A marriage, divorce, and two kids later, I found a college that had a similar program. I loved going to school with on-line libraries so that I could spend so much time doing research in the comfort of my own home. I had life experiences that helped me understand the material so much better than I could have as an eighteen year old. The women and men I met at school were awesome because the program I attended was for advanced learners.
  • When I didn’t get to go to college, I thought my life was over. I got a customer service job that turned into a career of being a national sales trainer. I got to travel all over the country doing seminars and training individuals to run thriving businesses. I loved my career and the perks were incredible getting to travel to see family and friends on my weekends off.
  • I was in a relationship that I thought was forever. We thought we would move away together and NOTHING worked out. It ended up being an incredible blessing because as I grew healthier by staying where I was, I realized how toxic the relationship was and got out of it without being tied down to a house away from all my positive support. I also picked what I thought would be the perfect time to leave him, and things blew up at what I thought was the ABSOLUTE WORST time, but it wasn’t the case at all. The timing ended up being perfect in the long run!
  • I wrote a book that no publisher wanted to buy. When I went back to re-read it a couple years later, I was able to use the foundation of it start this series, but I saw how weak the book actually was overall. I also got to see the difference when publishers thought the material was weak, and when the material was strong. Great lessons! I’ve had many opportunities to strengthen my writing and my message.
  • I thought my life would look one way when I decided to have kids and it has looked NOTHING like the picture in my head. I’ve had to readjust, learn, and grow with each stage of development. I’ve learned to fully celebrate all that raising them brings up because it keeps me striving to be the best me possible, so that I can love them in the best way possible. I love growing with them.
  • I remember thinking I knew the exact way my romantic life would look. I was wrong. My romantic life is so much different than what I thought it would be at my age, but it is so much better than I could have imagined, because I’m able to enjoy the man I’m with for the person he is and for the life we have together. It isn’t the traditional set-up, but it is perfect for us right in this moment.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for my past for leading me to where I am now.
  2. I’m grateful for my failed relationships that helped me to appreciate the amazing partner I have now.
  3. I’m grateful that all my prayers don’t have the answers I expect.
  4. I’m grateful for the surprises in life.
  5. I’m grateful for Divine timing.

So much good has come from the things that haven’t worked out in my life.

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

Check out 10 ways you can really celebrate what doesn’t work:90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 67 – Celebrating What Doesn’t Work

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 55 – How I Honor the Person I Am

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 55: How I Honor the Person I Am

Dear Self,

With every step of the self-discovery process, I gain clarity. I’m bringing attention to how I honor the person I am. I’m choosing to be accountable for the choices I’m making. This list is to help keep my energy on the level that feels good on the inside, so that I’m conscious of what I’m sending out into the world.

  • I’m aware of what happens to my energy when I project out fear, shame, blame, judgment, self-abuse, and living in the past and the future do to my lack of self-worth. I know that when I’m in a healthy place, I don’t take my fears out on others. I treat others with the same love and respect that I treat myself. I know my value and worth so I treat myself with the love and respect I deserve. I show myself love and respect by treating my body right, treating my thoughts compassionately, and giving myself the time I deserve to nurture any feelings that come up that I need time to work through. I also won’t expect anybody to give me more quality time than I give myself.
  • I’m accountable for my feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, and reactions. I am going to have feelings that feel good and ones that don’t. I’m responsible for the choices I make no matter what I’m feeling. My joy comes from within and so does my sadness. I will accept all my feelings because I know they are there to teach me something about the choices I’m making. I know I’m responsible for my thoughts, because there is always a different way I can choose to look at things. I am accountable for my perspectives of truth because they are the doorways to any path I choose. Finally, my actions and reactions are influenced by the way I’m perceiving reality. I am responsible for all the choices I make. Other people are responsible for their choices. If someone chooses to be unkind to me, that’s their business. My business is the energy I choose to put out towards them.
  • I’m very clear on the differences between love and fear. My definition of love leaves no room for cruelty under any circumstances. When I’m operating from a place of fear, I’m not capable of acting/reacting from a loving place. I will react from a place of fear, which leads to confusion and chaos within my mind, body, and soul. Feelings that come from fear, shame, blame, judgment, guilt, rage, hate, vengeance, insecurities, and/or lack of worth are not representing the love within me. It is important for me to watch these feelings as they come up so that I find a way to let love transcend them. My definition of love is:

“Love is patient; Love is kind; Love is NOT envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; It is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice in Wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” -Corinthians 13.4-13.7

  • I’m in complete acceptance that my past is over. The best thing I can do is learn from my experiences and let anything that keeps me stuck in my own darkness go. I want to be conscious to see warning signs and spot kindheartedness without confusing the two. I’m focused on healing any energy I have tied to unhealthy pieces of my past in regards to people, places, and things. I’m responsible for the negative energy I’m holding inside me and I don’t want to take old feelings out on unsuspecting people. I’m also letting go of my attachments to the unknown future. I can have goals, but it is my job to take the actions I need to take today to be the best version of me in this moment. I will leave my future open for the twists and turns so that I can enjoy the journey on this beautiful scenic route.  I’m going to be with people when I’m with them so that I can know with clarity that they are treating me the way I treat myself. I won’t put my head in the future ignoring the signs of the care for myself and others in the moment.
  • I want to be hold perspectives of truth led by love. I want to live my life from a loving place. It is my responsibility to look at my feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, and reactions to make sure they are aligned with how I want to be living.
  • I have chosen perspectives of truth that support me becoming the best version of me. My perspectives reflect living life with an abundance of love for myself and others. I choose to follow the Divine Creator’s path of love to salvation. I choose to see individuals and find connections through our capacity to love. I choose to trust that everything happens for a reason, and that every lesson comes with its blessings. I choose to share my life openly without fear, so that I give myself the opportunity connect with other loving souls. I choose to believe that whatever I feel about myself reflects out to create my reality. I choose to believe we are all students and teachers and each life has value whether life ends in the womb or at an old age. People are here as long as they are meant to be to fulfill their Divine Contract to serve humanity. Some will serve through their darkness and others through their light. I choose to believe anything that has the ability to bring out our compassion, love, empathy, humanity, and connection has authentic value.
  • I’m choosing to live in gratitude and abundance. The more I choose gratitude, the more abundant I feel. I know that I’m reflecting what I feel inside, so gratitude helps me manifest more of what I’m appreciating in my life.
  • How I’m treating myself is reflecting the way I want to be treated by others. I know that I can’t expect people to treat me better than I’m treating myself, so I’m making sure I put the time and energy to me that I deserve. I know I’m responsible for the energy that is coming back to me. If I don’t like what I’m getting, I need to check in with me to see what dark areas of myself I’m still feeding. I need to make sure that I’m showing myself that I’m deserving of time, energy, nurturing, and love.
  • My intention is to live life from a loving place and appreciate each day for the blessings that it gives me.
  • My intention in giving is to assist people uncover the best versions of themselves. I want to help others find the perspectives of truths that will bring the most love and peace into their lives. I want to serve humanity from a loving place. My intention is to increase the light shining in the world.
  • I love myself more than I ever have before. I truly believe that the more I love myself the more I’m able to connect with God’s love for me. When I see me through the eyes of love, I’m connecting deeper with the Divine, because I’m connecting through the light I was created with. The more solid I am in my own self-love, the more love I have to give and connect to others with.
  • I’m right here and right now. I want to enjoy the journey of life. I want to see each step and each miracle as it unfolds before me. When I’m not where my feet are I try to get a touch stone in nature to look at to bring me back to the moment I’m in, because when I’m not in the present, I get stressed. That is not where I want to be.
  • I’m open to try new things as they are presented to me on my path. I trust the Universe when I get signs to talk to people, read things, watch things, or do things. I want to live this life knowing I made the most out of every moment, so I’m open to learn, try, and explore life beyond my comfort zone.

Knowing these things about myself helps me enjoy my journey and be more conscious of what I’m learning.

Today I’m grateful

  1. I’m grateful for the breeze that reminded me to return to the present moment
  2. I’m grateful for the loving energy I feel from the people who I love
  3. I’m grateful for the silence on my first walk with my dog in the morning
  4. I’m grateful for today for giving me a chance to see more love in the world
  5. I’m grateful for my life’s journey

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

The list from this letter comes from today’s exercise in the 90-Day A Better Me Series. You can check it out below:

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 55 – Clarity in Self Discovery