90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 71 -Living Gratitude In My Daily Life

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 71: Living Gratitude In My Daily Life

Dear Universe,

Living gratitude is my way of saying I trust the path that is being lit up for me. I trust that by making the choices that I do, I’m honoring my Creator, my journey, and myself. I’m grateful for this life and all the lessons I’m here to learn, teach, absorb, and grow from.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful to my Creator for allowing me to wake this morning to live this day.
  2. I’m grateful to be able to pray for those I love.
  3. I’m grateful for the air I’m able to inhale and exhale in every second of everyday.
  4. I’m grateful for being able to open my eyes and see what’s around me.
  5. I’m grateful for the way my body feels during my first morning stretch.
  6. I’m grateful for an alarm clock that wakes me up, so that I can be apart of getting my children off to school.
  7. I’m grateful for the quiet moments on my morning walk with my dog.
  8. I’m grateful for the smells of Hazelnut coming from my morning coffee.
  9. I’m grateful for my kids running around because it means they are healthy enough to be getting off to school.
  10. I’m grateful that my kids get ready in enough time to make their bus.
  11. I’m grateful for the quiet time I have to read and write on a regular basis.
  12. I’m grateful I have lots of supportive people around me so that I have the time to write everyday.
  13. I’m grateful for a loving and generous partner who helps me to experience love each day.
  14. I’m grateful to have friends to celebrate and support each other’s journeys.
  15. I’m grateful for a family who knows how to show love in beautiful ways.
  16. I’m grateful for the love and support that surrounds my kids and I so that our environment stays a healthy place.
  17. I’m grateful for all the times relationships failed because it led me to appreciate the AMAZING relationships in my life today.
  18. I’m grateful for that person who cut me off because he showed me what an aware driver I am.
  19. I’m grateful to that woman who blamed me for her choices, because it showed me how much I’ve grown in the choices I make.
  20. I’m grateful to the cashier who caught the error in pricing.
  21. I’m grateful to my daughter for seeing the person behind us needed help lifting something at check-out and without question, she assisted.
  22. I’m grateful to see the kindness of strangers interacting together.
  23. I’m grateful I had the opportunity to be in the check-out line of the cashier who was having a bad day so that I could give her a smile and some kind words.
  24. I’m grateful for the person who flicked me off as I crossed the street because I feel blessed not to live that kind of angry life.
  25. I’m grateful for the person going so slow in front of me because it got me to see that I was moving too fast without thinking.
  26. I’m grateful for my kids coming home arguing because I they are home safe and sound.
  27. I’m grateful for my teenage son who still gives me hugs and hangs out with me.
  28. I’m grateful for my kids active social lives because I can see they are enjoying life.
  29. I’m grateful for having dinner at home with my children a minimum of five nights a week.
  30. I’m grateful for some of the wild conversations about teenage life.
  31. I’m grateful I grew through my teenage life to be where I am now.
  32. I’m grateful for the men who violated me because it helps me to teach my daughter ways to protect herself to the best of her ability.
  33. I’m grateful I know how important self-worth is so that I can give my children seeds as they move through their teenage years.
  34. I’m grateful for when I let my children’s behavior trigger old feelings, so they can come up to heal.
  35. I’m grateful for beautiful sunsets
  36. I’m grateful for the opportunity to see the birds flying in for the night to rest
  37. I’m grateful for water to hydrate myself with throughout the day.
  38. I’m grateful for new and different foods to eat and taste.
  39. I’m grateful that I have a kitchen to cook in.
  40. I’m grateful to my Creator for letting me this day.
  41. I’m grateful for the lessons I learned.
  42. I’m so happy and grateful for my opportunities to spread love.
  43. I’m so happy and grateful for the lives I touched and the ones who touched mine.
  44. I’m grateful for my AMAZING family who I learn and grow with everyday.
  45. I’m grateful for a day well lived.

It makes me feel so uplifted when I can show up with love even in the face of people who are filled with their own darkness. I love the feeling of shining a little light on someone’s dark day. I see the effects when I’m walking through a store and I have positive exchanges with people behind the counter, then the people around are more open to get into the fun and walk around the store with a smile on their face when I see them later. The energy just moves in such a beautiful way. I notice I’m more open to say hello and be patient with others if I make my exchanges pleasant. I love how the contagious energy grows and expands.

I love how when I’m standing in a long line and I engage in conversations with the people around me, time flies and even if I leave the store later than I thought, I’m happy about the time I got to enjoy with strangers.

Living gratitude fills me up to the point that I feel like I’m giving to others from a full tank. I’m so grateful to experience this life through the lens of gratitude.

 

With Love and Gratitude,
A Better Me

 

Rachael  Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 71 – Living Gratitude

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 70 – Doing What I Love

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 70: Doing What I Love

Dear Self,

You are just as important as all of the people I serve, so I’m honoring our journey by committing to do things I love daily. I want move through life with the energy of doing what I love to do. I know that by doing this, I will manifest more of what I love and will attract others around me who share my passions. There is no good reason not to spend time doing what I love to do daily. I know I might not be able to everything I love in one day, but I will commit to doing something I love EVERYDAY!

Here is a list of things I love doing:

  • Dancing to music with positive messages
  • Writing
  • Walking around the lake to look at the birds gathering at the island at the center of the lake
  • Nature walks and hiking off-trail
  • Going to the dog beach with my dog
  • Laughing
  • Yoga
  • Quality time with my family
  • Quality time with my friends
  • Quiet time to meditate and quiet my brain
  • Helping others discover their best selves
  • Eating flavorful foods
  • Spending Time Communicating with the Divine

With this list there is no excuses!  I can even add more things I love, because as I engage in this energy, more space will open up. I know if I don’t make time for doing the things I love, it’s because I’m not on my priority list and when I’m not on my priority list, things fall through the cracks. So, why not? I deserve my own time! The people I love deserve me to be operating as the best version of myself too.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful that I can MAKE time to do the things I love.
  2. I’m grateful for the energy I feel when I’m doing the things I love.
  3. I’m grateful for the joy that I feel when get to share my love with others.
  4. I’m grateful for today as an opportunity to do what I love to do.
  5. I’m grateful when I notice when it’s a good time to do what I love.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Are you doing what you love? 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 70 – Doing What We Love

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 70 – Doing What We Love

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 70: Doing What We Love

“Doing what you love is freedom. Loving what you do is happiness.”

-Lana Del Ray

We’ve reached a point where it’s not enough to KNOW what we love doing. Now, we need to do what we love. There is no more room for excuses why we aren’t taking steps towards doing what we love. The only reason we don’t is because we don’t love ourselves enough to experience the joy of it. Taking the steps is the key to having the ability to do what we love. Without taking steps, we will never get there. I can say I love doing this or that all day long, but until I do something about it, it will be the cause for the feeling of lack. That feeling of lack will permeate through everything I do and don’t do. That feeling of lack takes our energy down and we start manifesting and attracting things that will bring us more feelings of lack. THAT IS NOT WHAT WE WANT TO BE DOING!!

“Let’s do what we love and do a lot of it.”

-Marc Jacobs

If we want to manifest and attract abundance in our lives we have to be in the energy of abundance. We have to do the work. The work is to do what we love with energy of fulfillment, joy, and love. Why do we make this so hard? If we don’t love ourselves, and I mean really love ourselves, we sabotage any level of love that goes above what we feel for ourselves. That’s why I talked yesterday about loving our bodies and actively showing our bodies they are valued. They are the structure of our internal homes, yet many of us don’t take the time to care and love the vessel that is carrying us through this life. Instead, we focus on the lack of what it does or doesn’t do and the lack of what it doesn’t look like or feel like…this all ties into how our energy affects what we are attracting to our lives.

Why not love what we do and do what we love? What do we have to lose by investing some of our time taking steps to doing what we love? This isn’t just about work—This is about life! We have to start taking steps somewhere, and once we do all the rest begins to fall into place with the energy we are aligning ourselves with. Start doing what you love today! Don’t wait to take a step tomorrow.

“Believe in yourself, listen to your gut, and do what you love.”

-Dylan Lauren

What CAN YOU DO TODAY THAT WILL START CONTRIBUTING TO THE ENERGY OF DOING WHAT YOU LOVE?

If you love hiking—Start walking! Take walks daily. Find local areas to walk in nature. Don’t be surprised when hiking shoes come into your life, and the dream hiking trip falls into your lap. This is what happens when we start taking the steps.

If you love art—Start watching how-to videos EVERYDAY and practicing your skills! Don’t be surprised if one day someone offers to buy your work or you have your own spot in an art show. This is what happens when we start doing the work.

If you love to write—Start writing EVERYDAY! You can write in a journal, a blog, a book, social media posts, etc. Keep writing, study techniques, and reading other people’s writings who you admire. Don’t be surprised when opportunities to write come to your door. You’re attracting this to your life by the energy you’re putting out.

If you love helping others—Start volunteering your time EVERYDAY to help others in some way! If you are doing this from a pure place of love, not of trying to win points, or thinking it’s what you should be doing, you will start attracting people who truly want help to get past the position they are in right now. You will be helping, without enabling and the results will keep the love in your heart full. Don’t be surprised when all kinds of blessings come to your life for being in this place.

If you love being a parent—Do things EVERYDAY that support this love! Be present and see how the energy shifts and expands through your home. Your kids will feel that energy of love and it will permeate into what they do too. Don’t be surprised if parenting becomes a lot easier all because of where your head is.

If you love working numbers—Push yourself daily on number problems to solve! You can find all you need and more on the Intranet. Your skills start increasing and problem-solving becomes even more fun as you work the numbers. Don’t be surprised when opportunities start coming your way.

If you love acting—Start running lines, doing the exercises, and honing your craft DAILY! Don’t be surprised when the opportunity shows up with an opportunity to act for others.

If you love cooking—Spend time learning techniques and cooking DAILY. There is nothing we can’t learn today in this day and age. Everything we want to know is only a few finger strokes away. Don’t be surprised when more people start acknowledging your food and giving you opportunities to spread your love for cooking.

WHAT ACTION STEPS ARE YOU CHOOSING TO TAKE TODAY?

STOP TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU LOVE AND START DOING IT! Doing what you love might not lead to a paying gig, but it will improve your life in so many ways because you are taking the time to DO what you love. You will attract blessings beyond what you can even imagine. The way you approach the job you do will change even if your job title doesn’t. Eventually if you stick with the energy of doing what you love, you will start attracting job opportunities that will help you to grow and expand your love. It really is a truly AMAZING process to watch how this works in people’s lives.

So many amazing things have happened in my life once I started putting my whole heart into doing what I love. Once you start taking the steps, miracles start unfolding in front of your eyes. I feel complete AWE when I can see this energy working in my life and the lives of others. It gives me goose bumps EVERY time I hear someone tell me stories of how this has worked in their lives.  It will work for anyone who does the work to puts their energy in the place of love and abundance.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 70 – Doing What I Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 67 – Celebrating What Hasn’t Worked in My Life

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 67: Celebrating What Hasn’t Worked In My Life

Dear Universe,

I’m celebrating what hasn’t worked in my life. There are so many times I thought I knew what was best for me, and found out I knew nothing. My life is so much better because of all the things that didn’t work, which paved the way for things that have and are working.

  • When I was in high school, I got into my dream college only to find out that I couldn’t cover the financial end of things with no other option than not to go. No other schools had the program I wanted. A marriage, divorce, and two kids later, I found a college that had a similar program. I loved going to school with on-line libraries so that I could spend so much time doing research in the comfort of my own home. I had life experiences that helped me understand the material so much better than I could have as an eighteen year old. The women and men I met at school were awesome because the program I attended was for advanced learners.
  • When I didn’t get to go to college, I thought my life was over. I got a customer service job that turned into a career of being a national sales trainer. I got to travel all over the country doing seminars and training individuals to run thriving businesses. I loved my career and the perks were incredible getting to travel to see family and friends on my weekends off.
  • I was in a relationship that I thought was forever. We thought we would move away together and NOTHING worked out. It ended up being an incredible blessing because as I grew healthier by staying where I was, I realized how toxic the relationship was and got out of it without being tied down to a house away from all my positive support. I also picked what I thought would be the perfect time to leave him, and things blew up at what I thought was the ABSOLUTE WORST time, but it wasn’t the case at all. The timing ended up being perfect in the long run!
  • I wrote a book that no publisher wanted to buy. When I went back to re-read it a couple years later, I was able to use the foundation of it start this series, but I saw how weak the book actually was overall. I also got to see the difference when publishers thought the material was weak, and when the material was strong. Great lessons! I’ve had many opportunities to strengthen my writing and my message.
  • I thought my life would look one way when I decided to have kids and it has looked NOTHING like the picture in my head. I’ve had to readjust, learn, and grow with each stage of development. I’ve learned to fully celebrate all that raising them brings up because it keeps me striving to be the best me possible, so that I can love them in the best way possible. I love growing with them.
  • I remember thinking I knew the exact way my romantic life would look. I was wrong. My romantic life is so much different than what I thought it would be at my age, but it is so much better than I could have imagined, because I’m able to enjoy the man I’m with for the person he is and for the life we have together. It isn’t the traditional set-up, but it is perfect for us right in this moment.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for my past for leading me to where I am now.
  2. I’m grateful for my failed relationships that helped me to appreciate the amazing partner I have now.
  3. I’m grateful that all my prayers don’t have the answers I expect.
  4. I’m grateful for the surprises in life.
  5. I’m grateful for Divine timing.

So much good has come from the things that haven’t worked out in my life.

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

Check out 10 ways you can really celebrate what doesn’t work:90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 67 – Celebrating What Doesn’t Work

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 55 – How I Honor the Person I Am

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 55: How I Honor the Person I Am

Dear Self,

With every step of the self-discovery process, I gain clarity. I’m bringing attention to how I honor the person I am. I’m choosing to be accountable for the choices I’m making. This list is to help keep my energy on the level that feels good on the inside, so that I’m conscious of what I’m sending out into the world.

  • I’m aware of what happens to my energy when I project out fear, shame, blame, judgment, self-abuse, and living in the past and the future do to my lack of self-worth. I know that when I’m in a healthy place, I don’t take my fears out on others. I treat others with the same love and respect that I treat myself. I know my value and worth so I treat myself with the love and respect I deserve. I show myself love and respect by treating my body right, treating my thoughts compassionately, and giving myself the time I deserve to nurture any feelings that come up that I need time to work through. I also won’t expect anybody to give me more quality time than I give myself.
  • I’m accountable for my feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, and reactions. I am going to have feelings that feel good and ones that don’t. I’m responsible for the choices I make no matter what I’m feeling. My joy comes from within and so does my sadness. I will accept all my feelings because I know they are there to teach me something about the choices I’m making. I know I’m responsible for my thoughts, because there is always a different way I can choose to look at things. I am accountable for my perspectives of truth because they are the doorways to any path I choose. Finally, my actions and reactions are influenced by the way I’m perceiving reality. I am responsible for all the choices I make. Other people are responsible for their choices. If someone chooses to be unkind to me, that’s their business. My business is the energy I choose to put out towards them.
  • I’m very clear on the differences between love and fear. My definition of love leaves no room for cruelty under any circumstances. When I’m operating from a place of fear, I’m not capable of acting/reacting from a loving place. I will react from a place of fear, which leads to confusion and chaos within my mind, body, and soul. Feelings that come from fear, shame, blame, judgment, guilt, rage, hate, vengeance, insecurities, and/or lack of worth are not representing the love within me. It is important for me to watch these feelings as they come up so that I find a way to let love transcend them. My definition of love is:

“Love is patient; Love is kind; Love is NOT envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; It is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice in Wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” -Corinthians 13.4-13.7

  • I’m in complete acceptance that my past is over. The best thing I can do is learn from my experiences and let anything that keeps me stuck in my own darkness go. I want to be conscious to see warning signs and spot kindheartedness without confusing the two. I’m focused on healing any energy I have tied to unhealthy pieces of my past in regards to people, places, and things. I’m responsible for the negative energy I’m holding inside me and I don’t want to take old feelings out on unsuspecting people. I’m also letting go of my attachments to the unknown future. I can have goals, but it is my job to take the actions I need to take today to be the best version of me in this moment. I will leave my future open for the twists and turns so that I can enjoy the journey on this beautiful scenic route.  I’m going to be with people when I’m with them so that I can know with clarity that they are treating me the way I treat myself. I won’t put my head in the future ignoring the signs of the care for myself and others in the moment.
  • I want to be hold perspectives of truth led by love. I want to live my life from a loving place. It is my responsibility to look at my feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, and reactions to make sure they are aligned with how I want to be living.
  • I have chosen perspectives of truth that support me becoming the best version of me. My perspectives reflect living life with an abundance of love for myself and others. I choose to follow the Divine Creator’s path of love to salvation. I choose to see individuals and find connections through our capacity to love. I choose to trust that everything happens for a reason, and that every lesson comes with its blessings. I choose to share my life openly without fear, so that I give myself the opportunity connect with other loving souls. I choose to believe that whatever I feel about myself reflects out to create my reality. I choose to believe we are all students and teachers and each life has value whether life ends in the womb or at an old age. People are here as long as they are meant to be to fulfill their Divine Contract to serve humanity. Some will serve through their darkness and others through their light. I choose to believe anything that has the ability to bring out our compassion, love, empathy, humanity, and connection has authentic value.
  • I’m choosing to live in gratitude and abundance. The more I choose gratitude, the more abundant I feel. I know that I’m reflecting what I feel inside, so gratitude helps me manifest more of what I’m appreciating in my life.
  • How I’m treating myself is reflecting the way I want to be treated by others. I know that I can’t expect people to treat me better than I’m treating myself, so I’m making sure I put the time and energy to me that I deserve. I know I’m responsible for the energy that is coming back to me. If I don’t like what I’m getting, I need to check in with me to see what dark areas of myself I’m still feeding. I need to make sure that I’m showing myself that I’m deserving of time, energy, nurturing, and love.
  • My intention is to live life from a loving place and appreciate each day for the blessings that it gives me.
  • My intention in giving is to assist people uncover the best versions of themselves. I want to help others find the perspectives of truths that will bring the most love and peace into their lives. I want to serve humanity from a loving place. My intention is to increase the light shining in the world.
  • I love myself more than I ever have before. I truly believe that the more I love myself the more I’m able to connect with God’s love for me. When I see me through the eyes of love, I’m connecting deeper with the Divine, because I’m connecting through the light I was created with. The more solid I am in my own self-love, the more love I have to give and connect to others with.
  • I’m right here and right now. I want to enjoy the journey of life. I want to see each step and each miracle as it unfolds before me. When I’m not where my feet are I try to get a touch stone in nature to look at to bring me back to the moment I’m in, because when I’m not in the present, I get stressed. That is not where I want to be.
  • I’m open to try new things as they are presented to me on my path. I trust the Universe when I get signs to talk to people, read things, watch things, or do things. I want to live this life knowing I made the most out of every moment, so I’m open to learn, try, and explore life beyond my comfort zone.

Knowing these things about myself helps me enjoy my journey and be more conscious of what I’m learning.

Today I’m grateful

  1. I’m grateful for the breeze that reminded me to return to the present moment
  2. I’m grateful for the loving energy I feel from the people who I love
  3. I’m grateful for the silence on my first walk with my dog in the morning
  4. I’m grateful for today for giving me a chance to see more love in the world
  5. I’m grateful for my life’s journey

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

The list from this letter comes from today’s exercise in the 90-Day A Better Me Series. You can check it out below:

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 55 – Clarity in Self Discovery

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 55 – Clarity in Self Discovery

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 55: Clarity in Self Discovery

“What I believe makes me who I am.”

-Deepak Chopra

When we stop defining ourselves in terms of what we do, what we have, and how we were raised, we open our world up to discovering who we really are. We discover ourselves. The clearer we see ourselves the more capacity we have to shine our light.

We aren’t seeking value outside of ourselves, so our intentions don’t get confused. We don’t do things that go against the person we are. We support and take care of ourselves so that we are able to give to others authentically with no expectations of what we will get back. We project and attract the best kind of life. When our power comes from within, nobody can take it away.

Our relationships are healthier because we aren’t trying to force others to see our value. This includes our relationship with the God of our understanding. We value ourselves. We project our value. We manifest healthy individuals into our lives. Our value is reflected back to us through our relationship with them. If a person’s energy doesn’t match ours, they will fade to the background of our lives or they will be gone. I have learned what an amazing blessing this is. I know the people in my life have a reason for being there. If it’s not a pleasant experience, I say a prayer: Please help me see the lesson I’m supposed to learn so that I can grow and expand from this situation.

If I’m triggered, I do my best to dig deep to figure out what in them is triggering something in me. People are our mirrors, sometimes the ones we have the hardest time with are most like the parts of us that we don’t accept about ourselves. I’m not going to lie; I needed a narcissist and a diagnosed schizophrenic to show me how hurtful I was to myself. I feel truly blessed for all the lessoned I learned about myself in those relationships. I don’t think I would be where I am today if I didn’t go through what I did with them. I truly see all the things that I was once victimized by as my biggest blessings, because those situations are what it took me to move and shift out of my darkness. They showed me clarity in self discovery.

When we have clarity, we aren’t so hard on other people’s imperfections, because we know we have them too. We know that they have the opportunity to grow just like we do. We don’t feel the need to tear someone else down because it doesn’t contribute to our light. We also know that tearing someone else down is us showing our darkness. When we are clear, we want to shine light on the dark, not create more.

With clarity, I can clearly see that it’s none of my business what people think about me. I don’t do things to please others; I do things out of a genuine place of wanting to do it. In my romantic relationship, I am able to communicate clearly and effectively without any underlying feeling of needing him to do or be different than he is. I’m responsible for my feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions and he is responsible for his. I won’t take or accept responsibility for anything that isn’t mine. I don’t give my power away by making someone else responsible for my stuff.

I used to believe I had to fight for healthy boundaries, appreciation, my way, etc. I’ve learned through this process that the more I fought, the more stress there would be in my relationships. The problem was I wasn’t clear on who I was so I would get lost in my relationships with the men I was trying to gain value from. It was a very unhealthy way to live. I remember the constant struggle. I’m so grateful to have learned ways to expand my perspectives of truth to me less painful. Now, I’m secure in the person I am, so I’m so much more at peace.

I love the process on gaining clarity, and it is so much less stressful than how I was living my life before. Being a mom still shows me the areas I need to work on, but it truly is a gift to be able to say something like: Wow, this is really triggering me. I’m feeling an anger inside me and I don’t think it’s because my daughter didn’t do her school work like over the weekend like I told her to. Let me look at this a little deeper: she tried to blame me for her schoolwork not getting done. Blaming me for something that is not my responsibility is still a hot spot. How did I feel when we both started raising our voices? When did I feel the sensation of anger start creeping up in my body? When is the first time I remember feeling that? How can I work on myself to be a better mom to her?

I can see where there is always room to get more clarity. The talk in my head that used to be so unproductive often serves a purpose now. The blessing of blogging is that I can get out the ideas that pop into my head. That way I make room to develop and grow with them.

The more clear we are about who we are, the less people who get hurt by our projection of unworthy self. Sometimes we have no idea how much damage we are doing by putting out our fear-filled energies out into the world. The fear that comes from being unworthy can spin out of control and create a lot of chaos.  None of us our perfect, when we learn from our pasts, every step we took was necessary to get us to the moment we are in right now.

Just for Today

Answer these questions:

  • Are you aware of what living in fear, shame, blame, judgment, self-abuse, and living in the past and the future creates in your life (Days 1-30)?
  • Are you holding yourself accountable for your feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions?
  • Are you clear on the difference between love and fear (Days 32-35)?
  • Are you in acceptance (Days 36-41) of your past and the unknown future?
  • Do you want to be led by perspectives of truth (Day 42-46) led by love (light) or fear (dark)?
  • Have you chose perspectives of truth that support the life you want to be living?
  • Are you living in a place of gratitude or lack (Days 47-50)?
  • Is how you are treating yourself the way you want others treating you (Days 51-54)?
  • What is your intention on how you want to live?
  • What is your intention on how you want to give?
  • Do you love yourself (Days 56-59)?
  • Is your focus on what you can do today (Day 60)?
  • Are you willing an open to try something new to break old unhealthy patterns (Part III)?

Feel free to read and explore any of the 90-Day A Better Me Series and the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series that you have missed so far. Thank you for being on this journey with me. Let the love within you guide the way!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 55 – How I Honor the Person I Am

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 52 – Seeing Our Own Value

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 52: Seeing Our Own Value

“Self respect, self worth and self love, all start with self. Stop looking outside of yourself for value.”

– Rob Liano

When we expect others, careers, skills, and/or circumstances to define our value, we are looking outside of ourselves. We start believing perspectives of truth that tells us:

  • Having this relationship makes me valuable
  • Having this career makes me valuable
  • Having this skill makes me valuable
  • Having this circumstance makes me valuable

We can enjoy having those things in our life when we are there, but if we strap our identities and value to having them, we become unstable. This is why so many people have the feeling of losing themselves after losing a job. This is why people struggle to fine meaning after they can’t perform a skill that they felt defined them. These outside things can bring out our darkness when we attach to them. We FEAR the death of who we are if we lose them. We don’t know who to be without them. Dark energies like fear, shame, guilt, hate, revenge, rage, entitlement, jealousy, etc. come from attaching to what’s outside of us.

We are 100% worthy and valuable of the air we breathe right here and now exactly as we are. We are 100% worthy and valuable even at the height of our challenges to find our way in the world. We are 100% worthy and valuable no matter what darkness and/or light we carry within us. Nobody outside of us needs to see our value and worth to live an AMAZING life—Only we do.

I may have a meaningful relationship fail. I may be in an abusive relationship. I may get fired/laid off from a job unexpectedly. I may be a surgeon then break my hand. I may be wealthy then lose all my money. My lesson is what does the journey have to teach me about who I am. How am I able to see myself being reflected back to me, and how can I fix any darkness I’m feeling within me. This doesn’t mean that we won’t grieve the losses of the people/things we care about. The more we are connected to our positive self-worth, the clearer the lines are of the grief. If we put our identity into a loss, we are grieving the loss of the illusion of an identity. That takes a lot more work to sort through than the loss of something or someone we know is outside of us. Many people have confused this to the point of taking their own lives because they didn’t see their inner value and worth.

We can get so attached to what is outside of us that we give no time to looking inside us. We avoid looking through all the things I talked about in Part I of the 90-Day A Better Me Series. It’s time to change that!

  • What qualities do you have that make your soul shine?
  • What light do you bring to the world?
  • What is your capacity to love?
  • How can you expand that?

“The frequency of your Light depends upon your consciousness. When you shift the level of your consciousness, you shift the frequency of your light.”

-Gary Zukav

We project out the amount of light (love-fueled energy) we have inside of us. Think of a room with a dimmer switch. The greatest amount of love is the light shining at full capacity using the full amount of energy, but this light doesn’t drain energy, it creates more energy. How we value ourselves is controlling that dimmer switch. I’m going to project this much light, so that is the amount that will come back…Law of Attraction. When we raise our value switch, our light get brighter, it makes the room brighter. It then attracts people who are attracted to that brightness and it deters people who can’t handle that level of bright. I’ve been watching how this works in my life and the lives of others around me. It always fascinates me how increasing our light shifts what is going on around us. The brighter we shine from the inside the less attachments we get to things outside of us. The “stuff” just doesn’t have the same effect on our lives like it did before.

IMG_6353

Our value is already within us. We just have to open our eyes to see it. We may need to change the lens we are looking through to get a better view, but it’s there, waiting to be discovered.  We have to stop denying ourselves the time, so that we give ourselves the attention we need. We have to question why we put other people’s value above our own. No one is more or less worthy and valuable than we are. We can learn from those who are driven by their darkness, which gives their life value and worth. They are actually great teachers in the importance of seeing our value own value and not putting value in the outside stuff that in the end doesn’t matter. Those outside people and circumstances can teach us the value in being present instead of attaching to some unknown future. The more we can see that our pain and struggles are a part of our growth, not a hindrance to it—WE THRIVE!

In the end, our value lies in one simple statement—I AM! That is the complete statement of value. We are here. We are living. We are experiencing this journey of life. We are learning from our choices of feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions. We are ever changing and shifting being driven by the light and/or the darkness within us. Embrace the person you are! You are having the exact experiences you need in this life to fulfill your purpose in this life. We simply choose whether we will fulfill it through our light or through our dark. Our quality of the life we live is up to us. The VALUE of our life is there. The question is…

Are you ready to turn up your dimmer switch and bring more loving energy into yourself and into the world?

Just for Today

Make time to do something nurturing for yourself. Show yourself that you are valuable and worthy of your own time and attention! If you can’t think of things you can do: Imagine your ideal perfect relationship. What would you want someone to do to show you that you are valuable to him/her? Come up with a list. What on that list can you do for yourself to show you that you are valuable to yourself? Never expect anyone give more to you than you are willing to give to yourself. You are the example others are following.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s Letter from A Better Me is 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 52 – I See My Value. Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 49 -Celebrating Gratitude in My Relationships

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 49: Celebrating Gratitude in My Relationships

Dear Self,

I’m so filled with gratitude for ALL the amazing relationships in my life currently and the ones from my past that helped me to appreciate what I have now. I really want to spend my time today celebrating gratitude in my relationships.

My Children

I’m grateful for my children because I learn so much about life from seeing it from their angle. I’m grateful for the moments I get to share love, joy, pain, and sadness with them. I’m happy and grateful each time I get to hear them laugh. I’m grateful for learning about my own dark spots through my expectations of them. I get SO many opportunities to get real with myself and my feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions with my exchanges with them. I’m so grateful for the ample opportunities to show love and be loved to/by them. I’m so incredibly grateful for them as teachers and as students. I feel blessed to get the opportunity to grow together. I’m grateful for each day I get to be apart of their journeys and that they get to be apart of mine. I’m grateful for all the lessons about the differences in teaching them love and fear. I’m grateful for their open minds to explore opportunities to see different perspectives of truth. I’m grateful when I get the opportunities to break unhealthy behavior/thought patterns that came from old perspectives of truth I once believed in.

My Partner

I’m happy and grateful I’ve found a partner where we can understand and appreciate each other’s separate lifestyles. I’m so grateful to have a partner where I can be myself, do what I love, and enjoy my life when he is apart of it and when he’s not. I’m so grateful to be able to trust our love for each other. I’m grateful to get to celebrate the days we get to spend quality time together. I’m grateful for the space to get quality time with others. I’m so beyond grateful for our opportunities to disagree so that we can learn more about each other. I’m grateful for the times we  connect through our differences as well as our likenesses. I’m so grateful I have the opportunity to see things a different way as a reminder that it’s not about being right, it’s about what works for each of us. I’m grateful for seeing him as he is instead of as I think he should be, because that keeps me being responsible for me and I’m BEYOND grateful for those lessons. I’m grateful for the opportunities I get to give to him from a loving place. I’m so grateful to watch our love for each other grow and flourish because of our mutual respect and love for each other. I’m grateful for the opportunities to see when I’m choosing fear instead of love. I’m grateful for the feelings I get every time I choose love.

Enjoying My Happily Ever Now

My Past Romantic Partners

I’m grateful to have learned from you, which helped me to uncover the strength and the beauty of the person I am today. I’m grateful to be able to see my part in the successes and failures. I’m grateful to learn how I needed to start treating myself so that I didn’t project and attract relationships that I REALLY don’t want. I’m grateful that I learned to be healthy even in the midst of someone else’s darkness. I’m grateful for the opportunities to see how my own darkness worked against the person I truly wanted to be. I’m so grateful to be able to see the differences between love and fear. I’m grateful that being in in the dark showed me how much I wanted to be in the light.

Discovering the Meaning of Love

How I Grew From My Toxic Relationships

Mom & Dad

I’m grateful for the lessons I learned from growing up with an understanding of your perspectives of truth. I’m grateful for the opportunities to grow and expand from the perspectives I choose for myself and the power I have to stop the patterns in my life from perspectives of truth that don’t serve me. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to watch you learn and grow from your mistakes, because it taught me compassion and patience for myself and others as we work to be and do better. I’m grateful to see how living in a relationship based on fear wasn’t healthy for anybody involved. I’m grateful to see you both found relationships where love was/is the driving force. Seeing you both take different paths and move on differently showed me the importance being true to myself. I’m so grateful for the valuable lesson that just because something works for someone else doesn’t mean it’s what is right for me. I’m so happy and grateful to have felt the love you were/are capable of giving and to watch that amount grow and expand. I’m so happy and grateful to love each of you for the individuals you are. I’m grateful for the continued growth in our relationships as individuals. I’m so grateful you were/are willing to see me and support me to choose my path. I’m grateful for all the times your darkness pushed me to be better for me. I’m grateful for the times your light helped me shine my light brighter. I’m so grateful for being the person I am because of the lessons I learned from being your child.

10 Positive Lessons I Learned From my Parents

Family Members

I’m so grateful for the opportunities I get to show you my love. I’m grateful for ability to see the different spiritual paths, perspectives, talents, challenges, triumphs, and failures and watch how love truly conquers them all. I’m so happy and grateful for each day I get with you whether to connect in spirit or a physical sense. I’m grateful for all the opportunities I’ve got to hear others perspectives of truth and know that I get to believe the ones I choose. I’m grateful for the lessons that I learned from your fears and your love. I’m grateful for the laughter that can still make me laugh years later. I’m so grateful for our connections through our love, pain, joy, tears, fear, and perspectives of truth. I’m so incredibly grateful to watch you travel your paths. I’m grateful for the ways we’ve connected at different points on our own paths that have strengthened our bond in the relationship we have now. I’m grateful to have seen you grow and change because it reminds me that I can too.

Friends

I’m so happy and grateful for all the friends who have come and gone throughout my life. Each of you hold a special place in my heart. I’m grateful for the friends of my youth for showing me the person I wanted to be. I’m grateful for lessons about how my perspective helps and/or hurts my relationships. I’m grateful for the opportunities to forgive and be forgiven for not handling things perfectly. I’m grateful for the connections we made as individuals and as a group. I’m grateful to learn that it is healthy and important to honor and appreciate each individual friend. I’m so grateful to continue to be friends with many friends from my youth and see how each of us has grown on our own individual journeys.

I’m grateful for the friends who came into my life in my different stages. Some of you have stayed close, some of you took paths far from mine, and others are still around but at a distance. Each friendship is serving or has served a special purpose in my life and on my journey, and I’m SO grateful for that. I’m so grateful to get to live, laugh, and love with each of you. I’m grateful to see and go through different times and circumstances highlighting dark spots I need to work on. Most of all I’m SO incredibly grateful for the times we get to celebrate our light that we see in each other. I’m so grateful for the friends who show me the dark parts of myself that I still feed. I’m grateful for the friends who point out when my fears have taken over. I’m overwhelmingly grateful to the friends who help lead me back to the light.

I’m honoring each tear as it rolls down my face right now because each one represents an overwhelming amount of love and appreciation. I am filled with so much love that I can feel it in my pores. I’m so honored to be apart of so many journeys. I’m grateful for the opportunities to love and be loved. I’m so grateful for each opportunity that guides me closer to being the best version of me, so that I can love bigger and better with every passing day.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s installment on the 90-Day A Better Me Series? Don’t forget to check it out! 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 49 – Gratitude in Our Relationships

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 49 – Gratitude in Our Relationships

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 49: Gratitude in Our Relationships

“Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole world changes in an instant.”

-Tony Robbins

When have expectations on the people closest to us, we are setting ourselves up to be let down time and time again. Nobody owes us anything. If we think that a person we love owes us something because we did something for them there is a debt to be paid, we gave to that person from a place of lack. When we demand respect, love, understanding, time, etc., we are not being honest about the intentions of why we chose to give in the first place. We might have been giving out of self-expectations, low self-worth, attachment to titles, to feel wanted, to feel needed, etc. None of those are giving from a place of love. When we have expectations of others to be more than who they are, we are coming from a place of lack. When we can be grateful for who they are and what they are capable of giving, we are coming from a place of abundance. We don’t need someone else to fill a hole inside of us. We are complete on our own. We can give without giving ourselves away because we are giving from a place of fullness. When we give from a place of love, we feel gratitude in the ability to give.

Giving from a loving place means we are keeping ourselves in the abundance of gratitude—Our relationships shift and change. The people who are stuck in their own dark place who fed off our demanding energy of lack will grow and change with us, or they will grow apart from us. Family members, friends, and partners who feel the new energy and embrace it will shift with us. We will actually see more of the light inside them too. We will appreciate those relationships even more.

“The thankful heart opens our eyes to a multitude of blessings that continually surround us.”

-James E. Faust

By keeping our focus on our gratitude, we start really seeing the partners and friends we choose to have in our lives. Our perspectives of truth (Days 43-46) shift and expand to see people from a more realistic view. We aren’t putting the relationships in the future or in the past, we are in the relationship right now. We are noticing what is happening now. If we have friends from the past, and we choose not to see them now because of our connection to the past, we miss opportunities to see who they are now. We might be missing the gifts that come from the growth each person has had.

When we are in intimate romantic relationships that are focused on the future, we are not seeing the person in front of us AT ALL! We are seeing the dream of who we are wishing them to be in terms of what we want for our future. That is way too much pressure to put on a relationship. Be grateful for the love now. Be grateful for the caring gestures now. Be grateful for the challenges now where you learn if this is even a person you want in your life. If they aren’t a person you want in your life, be grateful you figured that out. When we are grateful, we see the person in front of us. We learn and grow from their time in our lives and that is something to be grateful for no matter how long the relationship lasts. If they are not meant for the long term, we can be thankful for the things we learned and grow from there.

Even in our most intimate relationships, we can’t make our partners feel, think, act, or react in anyway that he/she doesn’t make the choice to do. We can’t make our partners happy. They have to choose to be happy, if they choose to be happy, they will appreciate our happiness and the happiness they share with us. They can’t make us happy either, because we have to make that choice for ourselves too. The same is true for anger, jealousy, etc. It’s all of it, light and dark energies. If we make someone else responsible for our feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions we gave our power away from a place of lack and fear. It’s that hole some people feel that only an intimate partner can fill. That is a perspective of truth that is very painful for all parties involved. Knowing we are responsible for ourselves and our partners are responsible for themselves is a perspective of truth that leaves a lot of room for gratitude and expansion. We can help without enabling. We can serve without expecting. We can receive with full love for the gesture.

“No gesture is too small when done with gratitude.”

-Oprah

Side note: For those who have been caught in narcissistic relationships, living from a place of gratitude shifts your energy away from the narcissist. A narcissist needs chaos to thrive and feed on. Living in gratitude and feeling good about ourselves takes away their power of us. If you are still in the relationship they will fight against positive shifts. They will try anything to revert your energy back to a chaotic place where they can feel like they are in control. Keep focusing on gratitude, when you have reached a certain point the signs will be so clear when it’s time to leave. You won’t feel the chaos behind the choice. You will feel a peace inside you. It is a truly empowering moment. The shift is definitely something to be grateful for!

Communicating from the energy of gratitude and expansion keeps the defenses down. We can appreciate hearing their view, then explain ours. If we don’t treat differences like battlegrounds, we grow together. Just remember:

img_3972

If you are having trouble with a family member, partner, or friend, keep them on your gratitude list. It will help you get out of your own unhealthy space of focusing your energy on lack, which is what creates the space of expecting people to be more than they are. We want to see people from our light, because it will not only help us focus on the light in them, but we will see their dark spots and know if we need to have space from this person. When we are in a dark place inside, we can want and expect people to show up more, but when we find our light, we may see space from them is a true blessing. We want to feed our peace, not our chaos. That is our responsibility to ourselves. When we have a grateful heart and share from a loving place, we feel good! NO ONE can take that away from us no matter how they respond to our loving action. We are full. We are abundant in loving energy. We can show up to our relationships with gratitude for whatever the day holds. There are so many blessings that come with relationships full of gratitude!

Just for Today

Focus your gratitude list on relationships you are struggling with. You will feel a clear energy shift with that person once you have found your own light. They will feel it too. It’s one of the miracles of gratitude. This may take a lot longer than one day if the dark energy you feel about the person runs deep. Keep going!

This exercise helped me move out of my own toxic space in unhealthy relationships and opened me up to countless blessings that I’m still experiencing today even know those particular people are long gone. I’m so incredibly grateful for the opportunities I got to learn about myself in those relationships. Their darkness ended up helping me to brighten my light. I’ve also felt amazing shifts in my relationships with my children, friends, and family members by focusing on this list. It really is an AMAZING journey!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

Make sure to  read today’s Letter from A Better Me 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 49 -Celebrating Gratitude in My Relationships

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 48 – The All-Encompassing Energy of Gratitude

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 48: The All-Encompassing Energy of Gratitude

Dear Self,

Today, I’m focusing on the all-encompassing energy of my gratitude. First, I’m putting my focus on feeling gratitude within my spirit, soul, body, force field, and overall being. Second, I’m looking at the outside world with eyes of gratitude to see just how much the things I look at can and do change. Then, I will write five things I’m grateful for while I’m fully aware of how it is making my body feel to experience the gratitude on paper.

Step 1: I’m choosing to look back to an event that I felt authentic gratitude for. I’m so incredibly grateful for the day I met my friend who I have been closest too on my spiritual journey. I was in such a dark place when I met her, but a few days before we met I watched the movie, The Secret. I remember I got chills and tingles watching the movie. Those same feelings filled me when her and I had our first talk. A spark within me was lit and I was and am so grateful to the Universe for connecting us. If I hadn’t been exactly where I was, in the exact situation I was in, her and I wouldn’t be travelling the same path that we are. Everything had to line up in the Universe for us to meet the exact way we did. I feel tingles running through me right now thinking about how many amazing experiences we’ve had on our spiritual journey together. I can look back and see how my energy shifted in my life as her and I started working together. The things that I began manifesting into my life were about growth, change, and shifting energies. The immense gratitude I feel for everything related to my spiritual transformation stemmed from the gratitude in my heart for my opening for change, which led to her and this incredible journey. As time has passed, I’ve seen how when I stay connected, my force field is so strong and protective of my spirit. Gratitude is my way of keeping my focus on my connections. I can go back to moments like these and feel how gratitude effects me inside. The more I focus on the feeling, the more memories are popping into my head of how much I have to be authentically grateful for. This step really helped me to connect with the energy of gratitude.

Step 2: Walking down the street along the lake, I noticed the Great Blue Heron. I felt a sense of absolute awe as the bird watched me pass. When the bird took flight I noticed the grace she or he traveled with. As my thoughts expanded I thought about all the different birds and how each brought their own way of doing things into this group the birds gathered in at the center island of our lake. I listened to the callings and how some birds sat on the sidelines waiting for the time to make their move. I noticed how they found the branches they were choosing to rest on. Those thoughts expanded onto humans and how we operate to find our way through this life. The thoughts brought me to an incredible place of gratitude for my journey with others. After experiencing this moment, I felt a sense of clarity for being who I am and allowing others to be who they are. If I’m meant to interact with others, there will be signs, just like the birds flying knew where and where not to land. Life became a little more beautiful in that instant of viewing the world.

Step 3: My gratitude list:

  1. I’m so incredibly grateful for the people and animals who are brought into my life to help me expand my love. I feel this gratitude as the tears well up in my eyes and I feel a tingling at the top of my head. My heart feels full. The flow in my body feels open.
  2. I’m so blessed and grateful to have learned how to free myself from my own toxic thinking. I watched someone else get trapped in their own thoughts, which had them treating other people like they were the villains in her story. She was unable to see any other perspective. I could feel compassion for her and the people her story affected, but I also could feel the immense gratitude I had for my own choices. I could look back and see times where I had done that too. I’m so incredibly grateful for the lesson in how my perspective can make my life peaceful or chaotic. I feel this expansion in a tingling throughout my chest and arms and the smile across my face.
  3. I’m so happy and grateful for my amazing partner who is the absolute reflection of what I projected out from within me. We can communicate clearly because we are both aware of what is our own stuff. When we aren’t, the other one tends to recognize it and we can laugh. I sometimes cry, but the tears are cleansing. We learn, grow, and love together everyday we are in this partnership. I’m so incredibly grateful for all this relationship has taught me so far. This is my happily ever now.
  4. I’m so grateful for the abundance of love I have to give/receive to and from my family. I love the opportunity I get to look at myself when I’m triggered by someone else’s behaviors. I’m so grateful for the connections I feel when I allow myself to see the people I love as humans instead of putting them on pedestals that come with unrealistic expectations. I can feel my gratitude emanate through me in my laughter, tears, smiles, and physical touches. To feeling of love running through me helps me to connect to my spirituality and Source. When I’m connected to Source, I feel it everywhere and in all my senses.
  5. I’m so grateful for choices I’ve consciously made in times of darkness. Like the choice to make gratitude list when I felt defeated by what I was seeing in the world. Like the choice to not react to someone else’s darkness and the choice to be loving even when faced with other’s darkness. The more I think about the times I’ve made conscious choices to live life from a loving place, the better I feel inside. I love the life I’ve been consciously creating by choosing love more than I choose fear. I love the friends who show up, and I love the strangers who give me the opportunity to share my light.  I love my openness to shift and transform my thinking on what I’m seeing in the world. I’m so incredibly happy and grateful that the tears are flowing down into my words. This is the all-encompassing energy of gratitude.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 48 – The Loving Energy of Gratitude

Are you following along on the 90-Day A Better Me Series and the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series?

Here’s a link that will help you follow along easily:

90-Day A Better Me Series

You can also go onto the home page on FromALovingPlace.com and see them all listed in order together. Enjoy the journey!