90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 90 – Committing to Lead by Example

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 90: Committing to Lead by Example

Dear Universe,

Today, I commit to doing my best. I commit to being the change. I commit to leading by example. I commit to doing the work daily to shine my light. I commit to the life of a better me.

I choose perspectives of truth that open me to experiencing love. I choose to perceive my reality through gratitude/abundance. I choose self-care to ensure that I’m giving my best to myself and others. I choose presence to pull me out of my story and give me a path to peace.

I trust the Divine Energy that lives inside of me to lead me to where I’m supposed to be. I trust that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be with every breath that I take. In each moment the Divine gives me opportunity to see someone’s light and/or shine my own. In each moment the Divine gives me opportunity to shine my light or embrace the darkness inside of me in order to learn and grow. I get to choose. I choose to take responsibility for my darkness and turn on my light switch to expose any toxic build-up so that I can clean it up and keep my light on.

My soul’s purpose is to live life from a loving place. My strength comes from the love within me. My perseverance and courage come from being face to face with my own darkness. My empowerment comes from taking responsibility for what energy I CHOOSE to project to the word. My wisdom comes from my openness to learn and grow.  My beauty comes from shining my light.  I will lead by example. I will be the change that the world deserves.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for the experience of writing the 90-Day A Better Me & A Better Me Letters Series.
  2. I’m grateful for the transformations and abundance that has come from staying committed to gratitude, love, light, and abundance.
  3. I’m grateful for all the people who encouraged me on this journey.
  4. I’m grateful to my amazing kids who allowed me to have space and quiet to write for these 90 days.
  5. I’m grateful to my AMAZING agent for believing in my LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME vision and giving me the opportunity to share my vision with the world by selling my book.
  6. I’m so grateful to Mango Publishing for seeing beyond the social media presence and allowing my vision to come alive.
  7. I’m grateful and honored to have the opportunity to lead by example.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Read Today’s Companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 90 – Leading by Example

This completes the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series. I hope you have enjoyed the journey. Subscribe to follow FromALovingPlace.com for inspiration, book updates, new adventures, promotions on the 35-Day A Better Me Boot Camp, and so much more. Whatever you CHOOSE to do—I hope you keep choosing to live from a loving place.

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 90 – Leading by Example

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 90: Leading by Example

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.”

-John Maxwell

When I started this 90-Day A Better Me Series, one of my goals was not just to write about how to clean up our own foundation, re-build, then share our tools with others. It was to do the steps along with my readers. That is why I wrote the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series to go with it. Before the 90-Day A Better Me Series, I had done a test-run of my 35-Day A Better Me Boot Camp, which I also did along with participants. I don’t just talk about these concepts, like I’ve said before these concepts of self-care aren’t new. What you are seeing in these pages is how I applied them to my life, how I combined them, and how I saw the connections between them. I made what sometimes people us to separate and disconnect each other into connections within me through loving feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, reactions, and responses. I don’t believe in do as I say, not as I do thinking.

I don’t expect people to do more than I’m willing to do myself. I don’t expect people to do anything they are not ready to do, or don’t want to do. I know when someone is ready because they don’t talk about wanting to change, they step up and do the work. We have to want peace to the point where we are willing to step out of our own chaos. For some of us, we’ve been marinating in chaos from before we even could understand it. Chaos becomes comfortable. I get it, internal chaos was a comfort zone for me for a long time, I still attach to a little chaos here and there. I just keep taking steps and it becomes less and less. I had to live this in order to show the way for others.

“People may doubt what you say, but they will believe what you do.”

Lewis Cass

Being the change means we lead by example. I told you early on that if you stuck with me through the entire series and did the work things would start transforming in your life. I wrote, read, and did the work of the series for these last 90 days, and I have to report that once again, AMAZING shifts within me and in my external world keep happening. On Day 88, I signed a contract for my first book deal, Letters from A Better Me: The Empowered Woman. On Day 89, my passenger side window of my car broke; I kept a positive attitude about it. When I called to make an appointment to get it fixed, the woman on the phone told me anytime I need anything, please contact her directly because she considered me a pleasure to work with and she loved the energy that I put off. Those are just a couple examples of the kind of things that have been happening.

The energy we put out will come back to us, so if we truly want to stand up as a leaders, we have to be the example. If we expect others to do what we aren’t willing to do ourselves, we often will be led to live in lack. We won’t appreciate what others are doing, because we can’t see how challenging it can be to do what we are asking them to do. When we see people working through challenges, we are more likely to appreciate their efforts if we have been there ourselves. Leading by example keeps us in the energy of gratitude/abundance.

We ALL have the opportunity to learn from the mistakes, trips, slaps in the faces, trauma, drama, chaos, confusion, and losses we experience. How we get up is how we choose to lead others. Do we lead through the path of love or the path of fear? What we choose to do says it all. If we ourselves make a mistake, then we go attacking others by shaming, blaming, and judging to get the heat off ourselves, we are teaching others to do the same. If we make a mistake, take responsibility, and take actions to learn from and find solutions encouraging others to help get creative— The mistake can be avoided next time. We bring light into the darkness and let our mistakes teach us how to become better.

“What you do has far greater impact than what you say.”

-Stephen Covey

How people choose to live, choose to lead, choose to feel, choose to think, choose to believe, and choose to act will be different. The questions we want to be asking ourselves:

  • Are we making life choices from a place of love OR fear?
  • Are we choosing to lead from a place of love OR fear?
  • Are we choosing our feelings based on beliefs of love OR fear?
  • Are our perspectives of truth from a place of love OR fear?
  • Are we choosing to perceive events, conversations, self-reflection from a place of love OR fear?
  • Are we judging others from a place of love OR fear?

The energy we project will come from the love or the fear within us. What we manifest comes from the love or the fear we project. What we attract back to us comes from the love or the fear we manifested in the world. BE CLEAR on what you are putting out there for others to spread and expand upon. Lead by example!

5 Steps to Leading by Example

  1. Be AWARE of the ENERGY you are projecting (Days 2-30)! We all have light (love) and darkness (fear) within us. Be aware of which one you are letting be the dominant energy you are choosing to live by.
  2. Accept responsibility for your choices (Day31-60)! Others cannot make us feel, think, or do anything. You make choices in how you want to perceive what happens and how you interpret people, places, and things. Don’t give your power away by blaming, shaming, judging, and hating. Doing those things puts your energy in your darkness.
  3. Be solution minded (Day 61-90)! Staying in the energy of blame keeps us stuck (lack) in the darkness and blocks our minds from finding creative solutions (abundance). If you are open and willing to learn from the mistakes and missteps, you can make changes and improvements that turn out better than the solutions that come from the energy of fear and lack. Those solutions tend to cause more problems in the future, because lack breeds lack.
  4. Be the change (Day 89)! Represent the energy and the change that you want to see. Do whatever work necessary to keep you projecting light into the world.
  5. TAKE CARE OF YOUR ENERGY!!! SELF-CARE, SELF-CARE, SELF-CARE! Make sure you have an active self-care regimen (Day 73). Do the work to keep yourself in the energy you want to be creating your reality from. This is your life, LEAD IT!

When we are truly ready to take responsibility for our lives, we empower ourselves to BE THE CHANGE—No stories, no blaming, no shaming, and NO EXCUSES! We become the light and can lead ourselves through the darkness. If others choose to see our light, it will help them to see what was hidden in their own darkness. We then can give them tools to help keep their light on—Leading by example.

Thank you for joining me on this 90-Day adventure. I’ve loved all the interactions, comments, and places this journey has led me to. I’m so incredibly grateful for the time you’ve taken to read the words I’ve felt led to write. Three months, around 400 hundred pages, and whole lot of love has filled me with abundance and gratitude for this amazing life I’m choosing to live. Now, I’m in the best place possible to work on the trimming and editing of the Letters from A Better Me: The Empowered Women.

Subscribe to follow FromALovingPlace.com for inspiration, updates, new adventures, promotions on the 35-Day A Better Me Boot Camp, and so much more. Whatever you CHOOSE to do—I hope you keep choosing to live from a loving place.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Read today’s Letter from A Better Me 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 90 – Committing to Lead by Example

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 89 -Being the Change

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 89: Being the Change

Dear Self,

Life is full of twists, turns, hills, and valleys. There are amazing panoramic views surrounding me if I have the right lens to look through life with. I choose the lens of love or fear with each feeling, thought, perspective of truth, and/or step (action) I take. I can step towards the energy of fear and engage in battle with all my opponents. Or I can step towards love and let my light within lead me to bring light into situations where there already is enough dark. In order for me to be the change that I think the world deserves, I have to stay in my light as often as I can.

This doesn’t mean I have to put up with or accept unacceptable behavior. This doesn’t mean I have to give my energy to people who want to release their toxic energy on me. This doesn’t even mean I have to expose myself to energy that I don’t feel comfortable around. If I need space and distance from specific people to protect my energy, I will do that. Most times, I will choose to pray for them. I find that prayer keeps me in my light. When I choose fear, I gossip creating more darkness. If I need to protect myself with healthy boundaries when interacting with people, I will do that. If I need to go a step further and get the law involved when needed, I will do that. I will do what feels right for me at the time and do the best I can to maintain and protect my energy to the best of my ability. Taking care of my own energy comes first. Otherwise, I can’t be the change I want if my energy isn’t aligned with the change I want to see. I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ME so that I can be the best version of me. If I do that, I trust where I’m being led and who I’m being led to help and/or serve.

If I’m not taking proper care of me, no matter how much good I trying to do in the world, I will attract back chaos and drama to my life in some way or another. The Universe has to give me back the energy I’m putting out. This goes well beyond thoughts. This is all the darkness buried inside of me that I haven’t been willing to expose to light too. The deeper I’m willing to go, the better change I can be. I will choose to live my life in the abundance of gratitude, practicing presence, checking in with my thinking, re-channeling my energy (when needed), connecting to center (which for me is nature), connecting my light to Divine light, and being the change.

No one can force me to be anything I’m not. I make choices and I’m taking responsibility for my decisions to contribute to the love or the fear in the world. I want my energy to go into who I am (love), what I’m projecting, and what I want reflected back to me. I know what I have to do and keep doing. I’m committed to being A BETTER ME, so that I can BE THE CHANGE the world deserves.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for the opportunities I get to consciously choose to spread love or fear. Especially when I’m in full awareness of choosing love (IT IS SO POWERFUL).
  2. I’m grateful for wisdom to know where my responsibility to BE THE CHANGE is and how to do it.
  3. I’m grateful for this incredible moment and all the positive energy running through me.
  4. I’m grateful for my connection to nature to assist me in re-centering my energy.
  5. I’m grateful for the energy I feel when I know I’m being the change instead of fighting against.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 89 – Being the Change the World Deserves

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Only one more day of the series to go! If you missed any part and/or day of the A BETTER ME LETTERS SERIES OR A BETTER ME SERIES, you are welcome to go back and explore by just going  to the Home page or going to Categories. Happy reading!

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 89 – Being the Change the World Deserves

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 89: Being the Change the World Deserves

“We’re all just walking each other home.”

-Ram Dass

We make a choice EVERY day how to live this life. Each decision in how we feel, think, and act creates projections of energy that go out into the vast Universe. We are contributors to love and/or fear with our choices. Are you ALWAYS going to choose love? No. Sometimes we will choose fear consciously and other times we will choose it unconsciously. Fear is all around us in our entertainment, media, social lives, families, work environments, etc. We will sometimes have to work to choose love in fear-invoking situations. We will sometimes have our bear claws out and act defensively when we feel we are under attack. We are human and we are learning. Don’t beat yourself up! We just need to do our best and use the tools we’ve gained to get us back to a loving place.

What we did thirty-minutes ago, a day ago, a month ago, a year ago, a decade ago, etc. is the past. It’s done. Take responsibility for whatever lessons there were to learn from the feelings, thoughts, and actions that produced darkness and/or toxic energy. Choose to shift from the darkness, fear, shadow, and/or toxicity into the light, love, peace, and/or joy of the moment you are in right now. Right in this exact moment, the moment you are reading these words: you are safe, breathing, living, and getting the choice to be in the energy of love or fear. When we choose love more than we choose fear in our feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, responses, and reactions, we are being the change that this amazing world deserves.

We sometimes choose to make this a lot more complicated than it is, because we are human. We can easily make the simple complicated. I’m no exception. Our stories are how we complicate, confuse, trigger, and stir ourselves up into a whirlwind of chaos. Here are some steps to help calm the whirlwind and help you find the peace to project and be the change.

7 Ways to Be the Change

  1. Get Present! Here it is again, if you want a way out of your story, you need to get present. If you need a reminder of the ways to do this, you can go back through the series or there are millions of other avenues found on-line. What is important is you find methods that you connect with so that you remember to do and use them on a daily basis. Remember, it’s just like healthy eating and building muscles. You have to keep doing the daily work to get the results you want to achieve.
  2. Check-In with your perspectives of truth. Is what you are choosing to believe in causing you chaos, stress, fear, pain, and suffering? Are you projecting fear in your beliefs about yourself and others? Are your beliefs telling you that someone else HAS to change to make it possible for you to BE THE CHANGE?
  3. Choose differently! If your feelings, thoughts, and perspectives of truth aren’t projecting the energy you want to contribute to the world, think of ways to look at the situation that will deliver a different energy. If you are struggling with this go back to Day 42-46.
  4. Be still! Slow down enough to get out of your story, be mindful, and shift your energy. Take a bathroom break if you need to, just give yourself time and space to slow down to a halt so that you can shift your energy. Use mindfulness, meditation, and breathing tools to re-center and find your way back to light-filled energy (Days 61-67).
  5. Connect with the beauty in nature. Whether you go out into it, look at pictures, watch video, or pay attention to it in movies—CONNECT!! See why the world deserves our love. Pay attention to the difference when we love and care for it and/or neglect and ignore it. Nature has so much to teach us about how we choose to live. Remember the garden example I gave? If not, go back and really become conscious of the garden you are creating.
  6. ACT! Once you are quiet enough, and your energy is projecting from a place of love, you will hear your call to act. You’ve heard the call to act from fear before, but the calling from a loving place is about being the change, having your energy in the right place, and acting out of the love within in you to create more love, connection, and compassion in the world. Isn’t THAT what the world deserves?
  7. REPEAT! This isn’t a one-time fix. Think about all the chaotic thoughts that spin the hamster wheel in your head. You are creating a garden and slowing down the hamster wheel to the point where you don’t need it. This takes a lot of time and practice. With every beautiful seed we plant in our garden, we get one to spread to the world.

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We can’t make great changes until we are the change. That is why I love Byron Katie’s quote about Buddha so much. That’s why you will see it all over my work again and again. If we try to act, without checking-in with our own energy and changing ourselves first, we too often unconsciously project more darkness and toxic energy into the world. We get caught in the cycle of using our rage to try to FORCE the world to change. We may solve one problem just to create another. Rage and force will create division and separation time and time again, because our energy is focused on what we are against. We have to be responsible for our energy first. This is how we can consciously become the change that the world deserves.

 

Choose wisely!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s Letter From A Better Me 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 89 -Being the Change

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 87 – Being Active About What We Stand For

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 87: Being Active About What We Stand For

“The best political, social, and spiritual work we can do is to withdraw the projection of our shadow onto others.”

-C.G. Jung

When we are acting out of our darkness (shadow/fear), we are acting in the energy of AGAINST. We are putting our energy into what we don’t want more of. We are fighting (violence/war)! We are actually contributing to making the problem even bigger. It may improve one area, but it will cause worse problems in other areas. Representing what we stand for doesn’t have to be this way. Women like Mother Teresa knew it.

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Many of us will still use the FIGHT as a source of empowerment. Like I’ve said before, it’s not always about the words, but the energy that lies behind the words. To me, fight represents battle, violence, war, darkness, and toxic energy. So when I fight something, I’m making those energies in me stronger. Words have different meanings and hold different energy to different people. If I have an emotional attachment to a word it will affect me in a positive or negative way. This is MY STUFF! If you are triggered by words, that is YOUR stuff. We need to make sure that when we are triggered, we take responsibility. Otherwise, our energy can easily slip from what we stand for to what we are against.

When we are standing to represent  a person (including ourselves), a cause, a position, a perspective of truth, a political party and/or a member, etc., we will get so much farther if our energy is in the right place. If we are attacking others to make our points—We are in the dark! If we are fighting against—We are in the dark! It is a challenge to find out what people stand for sometimes. There are plenty of times I can tell you what a person is against without being able to tell you what they are for, and I’m TRYING to look for it. It pains me to see great causes put their energy into what they are against instead of what they are for. We miss steps in taking care of the people we are looking to protect when our energy is aimed at who’s to blame, judge, and shame. We miss elements of self-care when we put out energy out there to feed the fear (darkness, shadow, toxic energy). We fall into our own darkness which becomes toxic energy if it goes unchecked.

When we actively represent what we are standing for from a loving place. Our message can be heard. We don’t trigger the twelve year old defensive system of all the parties involved if they are not feeling attacked by what we are saying and/or doing, because we aren’t attacking—We are STANDING.

If you want to take actions to change things in this world, make sure you are standing. People are going to disagree. Good! Not everyone has to agree with us. We are operating from our own perspectives of truth. We are accountable for OUR OWN perspectives of truth. By standing and acting from a loving place, we may see that we don’t agree, but multiple perspectives gives us lessons, opportunities, and depth to become better versions of ourselves. Each of us has light and darkness (love and fear) living inside of us. Which one do we want to spread? Which one do we want to make stronger? This goes for our relationships, causes, positions, and/or perspectives of truth. What do we want to stand for?

From a loving place is a stand to represent the sharing and spreading of love. This means I don’t have to fight others to be right, I simply share my perspectives of truth that feeds the energy I wish to see more of. People are welcome to agree or disagree with the things I say because I know that they need to live according the perspectives of truth that feel best to them. That’s their journey. By thinking this way it helps me to actively and consciously represent what I stand for. If I stand for love, connection, compassion, empathy, peace and overall goodness in the world, I have to represent that in my inner and outer life.

Are we going to do this perfectly??? Once again, I repeat, NOT A CHANCE! We aren’t meant to do this perfectly. If we want to be compassionate and empathetic people we have to understand on the deepest of levels that we are all going to go through struggles on our journeys—Including US! Our struggles have some very important lessons to teach us.

7 Steps to Being Active About What We Stand For

  1. Get clear about what you stand for. If you hear yourself representing what you are against instead of what you are for, sit down and write! What are you trying to accomplish? How does what you are trying to accomplish represent what you are standing for?
  2. Write out your personal mission statement about what you stand for. Just like in business be clear and concise. If you need help, look on-line for the best mission statements. You will find great inspiration there.
  3. Make sure your inside mission and your outside mission are aligned. If you want people to feel good about themselves, but you treat yourself horribly, the energies will conflict. You will be working in the energy of AGAINST. Stay Aligned!
  4. Let the pathways present themselves. When you are aligned the pathways to represent what you stand for open up. This happens in relationships, careers, causes, and lifestyles. Your energy is aligned, so the work will come. You will run with it and STAND!
  5. BE TRUE TO YOUR MISSION! We may be led into a battlefield, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t stand. If our inner and outer energy is aligned, we can represent what we stand for even if people who are with us are fighting what they are against. Just don’t take the bait and get hooked into the energy you don’t want make stronger. You can help others by being clear how you want to represent what you are standing for.
  6. Take Responsibility for your feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, and actions. How you react and/or respond is ALWAYS your responsibility and EMPOWERMENT. How you choose to use your power is up to you. If you slip and fall into your darkness, take responsibility for it. If you spread your light, take responsibility for it.
  7. DO THE WORK! If you want to stay in the energy of what you stand for you have to continue to do the inner and outer work. If you don’t do the work, you aren’t being active about what you stand for. You won’t get results if you aren’t willing to dive in.

I wrote the 90-Day A Better Me & A Better Me Letter Series because of my commitment to the work. Writing, sharing, and cleaning up my own internal home is a necessary piece of my mission to represent what I stand for. Writing has helped me to stay accountable for my own energy and I’m honored to be able to share the work to assist others on their journeys. Miracles have been unfolding along this 90-day path for me as I continue to write and share the perspectives of truth that inspire me to be the best version of myself and that help me to live a life I continue to be grateful for daily. This doesn’t mean I haven’t seen my share of struggles during these last 87 day, I have. Since I’m doing the work on a daily basis, it means I’m learning from the struggles faster and they have less effect on my energy that I’m putting out. That is an AMAZING gift in itself. The point is, if you are doing the work and representing what you stand for, your journey will unfold in ways that you never expected. Enjoy the journey!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s Letter From A Better Me: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 87 – Being Active About What I Stand For

 

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 66 – Quieting the Mind for Conscious Creation

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 66: Quieting the Mind for Conscious Creation

“Only in quiet waters do things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world.”

-Hans Margolius

Quieting our minds can be one of our biggest challenges, but if we do the work— It comes with the greatest rewards. In a quiet mind we can separate all the clutter and distractions. We hear and see messages clearly. We create consciously. You know those signs we ask the Divine Creator for? We only can see them when we slow down our minds.

“A quiet mind is all you need. All else will happen rightly, once your mind is quiet.”

-Sri Nisaradatta Maharaji

We actually have the ability to change our neural pathways when we are able to calm our minds on a regular basis. This means those unhealthy messages that have been feeding us and forming the way our mind behave can be changed to create new and healthier connections in the brain. Scientists have been studying the effects of regular meditation on the brain— The results are incredible. So all the mindfulness, meditation, and quieting of the mind messages have scientific proof of effectiveness.  We are literally retraining our brains to operate on a higher level. I find that pretty amazing. This is proof that we have choices that will make things better for us, and it starts with our mindset. We have to choose not to be a prisoner of our thoughts and beliefs that keep us trapped in an inner life we aren’t happy with.

“Quiet the mind, and the soul will speak.”

-Ma Jaya Sati Bhanagavati

Some people think of quieting the mind as meditation, and instantly the walls go up saying I can’t meditate. We’ve talked about the word, can’t. It’s an excuse not to keep trying. The word can’t is a choice to be stuck where we are. There are plenty of ways to quiet the mind that are building the muscle to be able to meditate and/or keep the mind quiet for longer time periods. I’ve brought some of these up in different parts of the series, but they are worth repeating.

10 Techniques to Quiet the Mind

  1. When you are using the toilet, take the time to be conscious of your breath. Make it a practice that every time you use the toilet you take three long inhales and three long exhales… This is what I did to start MAKING the time for quieting the mind.
  2. When you’re in the shower, be conscious of your breaths in and out. Then imagine the water touching you is the love of the Divine cleansing and clearing all the chaos and clutter away. Feel the love washing over you in your silence.
  3. Take a walk in nature or spend time in with the Earth in some way. If you can keep your mind on what you are seeing and feeling, you can help quiet the clutter in the mind. Really look at the nature and feel the energy coming from the Earth. Let your mind be focused on what you are looking at and touching. Embrace your senses.
  4. Lie on the ground and really look at the sky. Do you remember trying to figure out what animals clouds looked like? Or connect the dots with the stars? Focus on breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth and be childlike in your exploration. You will notice the more you can focus on this, the clutter in the mind dissipates.
  5. When you are exercising, focus on your breathing and being one with your body as you move. Pay close attention to your form and make sure your breaths are even as you move. NO holding your breath. Pay attention to the flow of your body during transitions in movement.
  6. Consciously drink a whole glass of water. See, feel, taste, hear, and smell the water moving with each sip. It helps me to add  a little flavored vinegar, lemon, cucumber, herbs, or essential oils to help me stay fully conscious of the experience.
  7. Get a meditation application, CD, YouTube, etc. on your phone and start practicing. If one doesn’t work for you, try another. Start slow if you are challenged. What time did you start and when did your mind start moving into the clutter. Then find meditations for that length of time and work your way up. Don’t beat yourself up over your mind drifted. You can see the thought come up in your mind and watch it float by like a balloon and release it. Don’t try to force your mind not to let the thoughts in, just simply let them pass by and visualize them floating off.
  8. Free writing is one of my favorite techniques. There are many names for this type of writing. Here is the method that works best for me: Set a timer for 20-30 minutes. Ask the Universe a question, say a prayer, write down a quote that inspires you, or give your mind a topic and just start writing. Don’t think or plan what you are going to write, don’t edit any words that are coming to the page, just write without trying to steer your thoughts. Keep writing until your timer is up or just keep writing if you are in a flow that the words are just coming to you without any effort. Once your mind starts trying to control the writing after the timer goes up, stop! The more you do this kind of writing the more you will be consciously creating. Many of my blogs are written like this. I actually do my best writing when I let my conscious energy flow. I only edit when the whole piece is complete.
  9. Doodle, doodle, and doodle some more. If you struggle with meditation, try listening to meditation music or a guided meditation while you doodle. Simply focus on breathing and letting your hand be led to just create the shapes and words that flow into stream of consciousness. Doodling has been scientifically proven to help focus the mind (the research is easily accessible on-line, just in case you ever have a teacher complaining about your child is doodling).
  10. Create a free mind; free flow art piece, creative movement, and/or musical masterpiece. Like the writing, set a timer. Give yourself a minimum of 20-30 minutes. Ask the Universe a question, say a prayer, look at a picture that inspires you, listen to a song without lyrics that inspires you, and/or just take three long deep breaths in and out. Now start creating without any thinking, planning or editing. See what comes up. You may be amazed in what you create. Some of the most mesmerizing music and art was created in free flow energy.

When we allow ourselves the time and space to quiet the mind, we start consciously creating new ways of thinking, believing, living, choosing, processing, expressing, loving, visualizing, experiencing, flowing, being, problem-solving, and on and on the list goes. The possibilities are endless once we quiet the mind for conscious creation. Now, if you are truly interested in changing your life, take one to three of the items on the list and do it for a minimum of 45-Days. You will be SHOCKED at the results. Like I’ve said before, transformation takes commitment and work. We have to consciously choose to MAKE the time.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 66 – Quieting My Mind

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 48 – The Loving Energy of Gratitude

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 48: The Loving Energy of Gratitude

“You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: The more you have and are grateful for, the more you will be given to you.”

-Sarah Ban Breathnach

Authentic gratitude carries a loving energy that projects light. The light manifests to more love and when that energy reflects back to us we receive so much more than we could have ever imagined when we were consumed with our own darkness. Saying we are grateful, saying thanks, writing gratitude lists, and writing thank you notes doesn’t ALWAYS reflect authentic gratitude. When we are being authentic in our gratitude we FEEL it. That is the vibration of gratitude. That is what changes us. When we are truly grateful it can make us cry, laugh, and tingle. Feeling gratitude causes a physical reaction in our bodies. Those are just a few things that we can see. It can also shift toxic energy blocks within us that create disease. Gratitude gives space for miracles.

“Gratitude drives happiness. Happiness boosts productivity. Productivity reveals mastery. And Mastery inspires the world.”

-Robin S. Sharma

Our joy, happiness, tranquility, and peace expand and project out of us when we embrace the loving energy of gratitude. The people around us will feel the difference in our energy without saying a word. Something will just feel different to them. If they have light inside them, it will create a reaction in them where their light will shine brighter. If a person is carrying a lot of densely packed darkness, they will react too.

A person caught up in their own darkness might attempt to dim our light unconsciously. We only allow as much happiness in our lives as we feel comfortable with inside us, so a person who is stuck in the dark can feel VERY uncomfortable around people who give off a lot energy that is full of love. DON’T TAKE THIS PERSONALLY! This is NOT about you. If they need to excuse themselves from the room or from your life, it’s because their energy field doesn’t blend with yours anymore. Give them the distance, when and if they are ready to see your light, they will come back.  You may notice they only come around when they need help. Be GRATEFUL for that! That is when they are ready to accept a little more light to their life. We know we’ve reached a wonderful place in our own light when people are attracted to ours. If they are demanding help, they are not attracted to your light. They are trying to connect to some of your dark (enabling energy). If you are shining your light bright enough, it won’t touch your dark energy. You won’t react out of fear, you will respond from a place of love. They may get frustrated, throw their hands up, and walk away. You will stay centered if you are in your light. Your light acts as a force field around you. Then when the moment is over, you can be grateful for the opportunity you were given to show love and respect to yourself and others even in the face of fear.

Honestly, we wouldn’t have time for all the people who fell out of our lives because of their own darkness. It wouldn’t be healthy for us. If we surround ourselves with too much darkness, we could fall back into our own when we hit a challenge and we went to people who were trapped in their own darkness for advice. When we are in our own dark moment and there are people who are living in their darkness around us, they will be attracted to the darkness beacon we are putting out. It’s CRAZY how this happens. I’ve watched it in my life so many times; it doesn’t have to be people I know, it can be complete strangers.

When we are vibrating on the loving level of gratitude, we need to trust that whoever comes into our life is meant to be there as long as they are meant to be there. Some people are in our lives to teach us great lessons about ourselves then leave. This can include people who teach through lessons of fear like blaming, shaming, assault, violent attacks, abuse, rape, harassment, etc. We find our own light in the dark when we reach a level of gratitude in what we learned about ourselves and the love and compassion of others around us in those dark times. If we spot the light in someone, we have it in ourselves. If we spot the dark, we have it in ourselves. We can be grateful for the awareness of seeing both.

When we shine our light in gratitude we attract guides, Earth Angels, and spiritual nudges from the Universe—Be grateful for that! We will have some people we are meant to guide and/or teach. When we live in gratitude, we can find the love within the learning, guiding, and teaching. We don’t get stuck on how long someone will be in our lives. We are simply grateful for them being in our lives for the time period they are meant to be there. I will talk more about gratitude in relationships on Day 49.  We can be grateful for ANY experience we are given whether another person is involved or not.

For now, we are focusing on the loving energy of gratitude that helps us to not get stuck on expectations, time, and what we don’t have. When we live in gratitude, we realize we have everything we need in this moment. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t be alive. Our challenges teach us, which is something to be grateful for. Our blessings show us we are paying attention to what we do have, or else we wouldn’t feel the blessing of having it. We can choose to live in the energy of lack (fear), which will manifest the energy of hate (Day 24) within ourselves and out in the world; OR we can choose to live in the energy of abundance (love), which will manifest the energy of love within ourselves and out in the world. We are responsible for our own energy that we put out in our thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions. What would you rather be manifesting?

“If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”

-Oprah Winfrey

I CHOOSE LOVE! When I realized how much harm I was doing to myself and others by living in the darkness, I had to make the choice. For me, my breakthrough point with gratitude was looking at my babies and asking myself what was the legacy I wanted to pass onto them. I knew I was the example to my son of how to treat women, and I was the example to my daughter of how to treat herself. Those thoughts have expanded greatly since that day, but at the time, that is what I needed to breakthrough and open the door to the journey I’m on now. That was the day, I committed to being grateful. Even while I was in a very unhealthy relationship, I wrote in my gratitude journal EVERYDAY! I was so determined to break myself out of the cycle of lack, I wrote no less than a page a day.

Your breakthrough moment may not be like mine. It doesn’t have to be an extreme knock down with the emotional 2×4. It can be an AHA moment while you read something that just hits you in the right way. It can be an accident or illness that gets you to slow down enough to realize how precious life really is. It can be watching hate in the media and wanting to help by contributing something different. I can be a pay-it-forward line at a drive through that helps you see the power of gratitude. It can be looking at a flower and being overwhelmed by thoughts of how amazing life on this planet really is. It could be that you are so sick of yourself and your thinking that you just are desperate enough to find a path to change. Since a large element of my 35-Day A Better Me Boot Camp is based on gratitude, and when I work with friends, I go instantly to gratitude, I get to see a lot of different breakthrough moments and the transformations that follow. This practice doesn’t just work for me. It works for anyone who is truly ready to be AUTHENTICALLY grateful. If you REALLY want to help yourself and others, commit to the journey of gratitude. You will consciously serve yourself, others, and the world in away that will contribute to the loving energy force guiding our existence. Each of us are already contributing, but many unconsciously of what our energy is really creating more of—Love or fear. We can start living life from a loving place in this very moment. We just have to make the conscious choice to commit to gratitude.

Just for Today

Write a gratitude list of things, people, events, or circumstances you are authentically grateful for. I mean you need to have a physical reaction when feeling gratitude for who or whatever you are putting on the list. If you don’t laugh, cry, or tingle, it doesn’t belong on this particular list. I want you to fully feel the energy of the gratitude so that you know how to spot it on a regular basis. Get into it! This is the best high you may ever feel!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

Did you read today’s Letter from A Better Me? 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 48 – The All-Encompassing Energy of Gratitude

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 44 – I’m Grateful for Other’s Perspectives of Truth

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

 

Day 44: I’m Grateful for Other’s Perspectives of Truth

Dear Universe,

I’m so excited to be open to learning about other’s perspectives of truth. I feel like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders from feeling the need to constantly be judging people all the time. The process of learning about others is so incredibly freeing. I feel good about myself when I’m interacting with people instead of fearing the areas I don’t agree with their thinking. I ask questions and I can see where either love or fear has led them to the perspectives of truth they believe in. I can be open to see when my fear-based perspectives of truth have been triggered, so that I have the opportunity to re-frame my thinking.

Being aware of my responses to other’s perspectives of truth has helped me become a more loving person as I see each person for the individual they are instead of some title I once lumped them under. I’m enjoying seeing not only their humanity, but my own. The best part is I can see individuals beyond the areas I don’t agree with their perspectives of truth. I can see the love they have even if it is confused with some fear. I can see their fears and understand them because I’ve had them too. I can understand that we are just looking at the world through different spectacles and how we are choosing to view things is apart of our own unique journey. The fact that we can find the love in each other through all our differences shines light in our own dark corners.

I finally feel like I’m contributing to the energy that I want to see more of in the world. I feel the love expanding in me by where I’m putting my focus. I’m seeing the blessings in learning where other people’s stories come from. I’m not taking people’s actions personally anymore because I understand that their actions come from their own perspectives of truth. Their feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions come from how they are interpreting the world. If a person is coming at me from a place of fear, I can choose to shine the light on it by learning about where their perspective of truth is coming from.

I can leave unhealthy situations because I’m clear about the energy the situation is holding. I know that I can’t change someone else. I only can change me. I’m only RESPONSIBLE for changing me. If I don’t like what’s happening, I have to change the energy I’m putting into it. If that means I need space from someone else, so that I can stay out of my own dark, then I take the responsibility to change the things that I’m capable of changing. I don’t have to follow any perspectives of truth led by fear that I don’t want to. NO ONE can force me to do that. I choose to enjoy feeling of true empowerment by educating myself on other’s perspectives of truth. I don’t have to believe anything that doesn’t feel right. I also don’t have to attack someone else because I don’t believe in his or her perspective of truth. I can see where their perspective comes from—love or fear. I can choose to adapt my own perspectives accordingly. Seeing individuals through their feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions helps me to understand where they are coming from according to what their perspectives of truth are. I find the best ways to communicate from a loving place when I see each of us clearly. If I’m insisting that my way of thinking is the only way, I will miss so many opportunities to see that there are plenty of choices each of us can make.

Thank you Universe for inviting so many wonderful people to into my life. I feel truly blessed when I get to hear people’s stories and connect with them through love. I’ve chosen perspectives of truth that come from a loving place. When I see life through this lens, everything I receive becomes a blessing—No matter how challenging the lesson is.

I’m grateful for the individuals who helped me see my own darkness through perspectives of truth led by fear. I’m grateful for individuals whose perspectives of truth differ from mine, but they are still led by love. I’m grateful for those who teach the world to become more aware of the energy we are contributing to love or fear. I’m grateful to the people who have chosen to take loving actions even in the face of extreme fear. I’m grateful to all the people who inspire love no matter what background they come from.

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 44 – Seeing Other’s Perspectives of Truth in the World

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 44 – Seeing Other’s Perspectives of Truth in the World

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

 

Day 44: Seeing Other’s Perspectives of Truth in the World

“I wonder how many people I’ve looked at all my life and never seen.”

-John Steinbeck

I used to get bent out of shape when I felt like I HAD to be right and that my way was the right and/or only way to feel, think, believe and/or do something. If I HAVE to be right, I’m missing out on other perspectives of truth. I didn’t understand that it wasn’t weak to listen to someone else’s side of things. Just because I’m open to hear and understand others doesn’t mean I have to take on their perspective of truth as my own. Being open to see other’s perspectives of truth helps me not only understand mine, but understand theirs. When I’m open, I’m not attacking someone else for thinking differently than I do. I open myself up to see the individual beyond where her/his and my beliefs are holding us. I can see choices in thoughts, feelings, beliefs, actions, and reactions.

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If we focus our energy in seeing other’s perspectives of truth in the world, we aren’t going to act defensively out of fear. We come to the interaction with more open energy. We go into conversations with an openness to see love and fear. If we are willing to look into what a person’s perspectives of truth are being led by, it can help us communicate with our loving light intact, so that it doesn’t get swayed by the other person’s energy. If we keep our light shining even in the face of someone else’s darkness, we can open up conversations of understanding. We can listen to their fears and see if there is a way to lessen them.

If a person is attacking us because her/his perspectives of truth are led by fear and we react to their fear with our fear, we have a war. Both parties stop listening and insist on being right. The raging inner teenagers take over, and the fight to be right pursues.

What if instead of being defensive we thought: This person is sharing their perspective of truth that they have created. I can see that they are angry and that they are not interpreting the situation the same way I am. I need to find out more about where this perspective is coming from in hopes we can find a solution that will work for both of us.

How do you feel after reading that thought process? If you think of exchanges you’ve had with a friend, colleague, partner, or family member when you didn’t agree with each other, do you think this thought process would help you from staying out of your own darkness (fear)? Do you think it would help you to remain open to hear their side of the story without taking it personally, even if she/he is pointing the finger at you? This process definitely works for me! That doesn’t mean I always remember to use it when my fears are triggered. I do however go back after my fears have calmed down. I apologize for my actions if I reacted out of fear or anger, and then I calmly discuss the situation. I can be clear on how I feel without pointing fingers and blaming her/him. I take responsibility for any dark energy I brought into the exchange. It is their choice if they want to take responsibility for theirs. I have no control over what someone else does.

Once we can begin to do this, we can extend the exercise out to our views of others. I find social media a great place to exercise seeing other’s perspectives of truths. I can get an idea if their perspectives are coming from fear or love based on what they post. I can see where their perspectives are conflicted in how they want to be living and how they are choosing to live. Seeing people a little clearer helps me to communicate with them in the most loving way possible. It helps me to guide my questions and to see if their perspectives of truth trigger my darkness (fear). I don’t have to engage in any situation that I know is being fueled by fear.

If people are so engaged in their fear that they are spreading hate on social media, I choose to send them light in a prayer. If someone engages me directly, I respond to them in the most loving way possible so that I’m not engaging my own darkness. I find when I approach people with love, they are more open to put their defenses down and start a conversation with me to gain understanding. Most times I find that their perspective of truth had them reacting to something I posted because they weren’t seeing the message the same way I was when I posted it. Most times I can understand their perspective and see how viewing it the way they did caused them to be triggered. I simply explain how I viewed it and most times a person can feel that I’m coming from a loving place, so they stay open to hear my view too. Now, we both gain understanding that not all people will view even what some may see as positive messages the same way.

I’m so grateful to have reached the place where I can have these kinds of exchanges. I have to laugh thinking back to my reaction when I heard the sentiment, “You complete me.” Now, when I was a hopeless romantic with no self-worth, I longed to hear someone say this to me. I wanted to be that one person that “made” someone feel like they would die without me there loving them. Back then my perspective of truth was you need someone else to love you romantically to be complete (FEAR).

Then after I started studying codependency and realizing how sick I had become by engaging in this belief system, I went the polar opposite and would be enraged when I heard the sentiment or read it in cards. I would flip out trying to find a card for someone and all I could see was codependent statements everywhere. I would have to spew my anger to anyone who would listen (FEAR).

After some time and growth, I realized that enraged perspective of truth wasn’t serving me either. I didn’t want to be angry at the world who didn’t see things my way. I came to the understanding that my perspective of truth about being responsible for my own feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions was the key. I had a choice on the energy I put out towards myself and others. When people disagree with me, when I’m centered, I respond with loving respect and let them know that my perspectives work for me to live the life I want to be living. If her/his perspectives work for them and they are happy, I’m not going to put my dark energy into the situation. I open myself to understand how their perspectives of truth are working for them. If there circumstances change and they realize that their perspectives of truth no longer serve them, they are free to change them. That is their journey.

It is not my job to force people to see things the way I do. I want to give people the opportunity to see their best selves, how that looks to each individual is going to be different. It is healthy for us to be open to see other people’s perspectives without judging ourselves against them. We are more open to see humanity and its diversity as something to celebrate instead of condemn. I love learning about people, which is why I majored in Human Development and minored in Cultural Anthropology. That is part of my journey and why I’ve chosen the path I’m on now.

“Sometimes the only reason for us to be somewhere else is to see things from a different perspective.”

-Leila Summers

The quote above fits the perspective of truth that everything happens for a reason. I believe we are brought into situations to learn from them. Sometimes an event will show us how much we like and appreciate how we are living our lives. Sometimes another person’s experience will show us that our priorities are out of whack. Other times we are shown how our perspectives are hurting us. When we trust our journey, we can appreciate the opportunity to see other’s perspectives of truth in the world.

Some may wonder why sometimes I choose to pick very personal topics when it comes to seeing perspectives, like how we see our own social media circles, instead of focusing on the bigger issues in the world. I talked about the definition of insanity earlier on in the series as the way we do things the same way over and over expecting different results. I’ve seen people take the quest to try to change the world so many times and get worn down, depleted, and defeated time and time again. I’ve watched people give themselves away (Day 28) and feel like nothing when they see very little shifts. The one pattern I notice the most is people trying to fix what’s outside to avoid what is going on inside of them. They try to fix things in the world out of fear. Since the beginning of the history of storytelling there stories about how loving actions led us to salvation, yet people keep choosing the path of fear and expecting love at the end. One of my deepest perspectives of truth is we have to see the light in ourselves before we can see and appreciate the light in others. We have to understand and embrace our own darkness before we can understand and appreciate the need for someone else’s. I believe our power to change the world starts within us. We have to see ourselves clearly to trust our path. When we give from a loving place, we are apart of spreading light into the world. Each of our paths will look very different, but no path is less important than another.

Sometimes we are faced with extreme forces of darkness (FEAR), leaders who spread darkness, individuals who choose to follow darkness, catastrophic events that put people face to face in their darkness, and illnesses that take us deep into our darkness. Each of these is important to our transformational journey. When faced with other’s darkness where do we go with ours? When faced with our own darkness how do we treat ourselves and others? What happens in the world when events touch us on a global level? After any major traumatic event you can find an outpouring of compassion and empathy. You can see story after story of heroes doing things that inspire the best in humanity. You can also see individuals pushing us to feed our fears. Where is your energy? That is the only energy that matters when these things are happening because it is the only energy you can control. Are you going to contribute light or more darkness? That starts on a personal level, which is why I wrote this series the way I have. We have to start with awareness of ourselves. Then we move into acceptance widening our perspectives. The final part is about taking action from a loving place for ourselves and others. Too many times we want to avoid our own darkness and instead work on fixing other’s problems, but the truth is until we understand our darkness by shining light on it, we will keep spreading darkness in the world.

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Once we have come to a place where we see other’s perspectives of truth in the world as a natural process of gaining understanding—We find peace. We become apart of the change we WANT to see in the world.

Just for Today

Think of ways you can reframe your thinking when you don’t understand other’s perspectives of truth. What could you ask them? How could you respond to their perspectives from a loving place? What can you say to someone who doesn’t agree with your views without attacking theirs?

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

Today’s Letter from A Better Me: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 44 – I’m Grateful for Other’s Perspectives of Truth