90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 84 – Keeping the Toxic Energy Out of My Internal Home

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 84: Keeping the Toxic Energy Out of My Internal Home

Dear Self,

I’m responsible for any darkness that turns into toxic energy in my home. I’m the only person who can keep it out. If I have attached to someone else’s toxic energy it’s because it exists in me. It may look different, he could be an abuser and I may be a recipient of his abuse, but I only accept his abuse if I’m abusing myself inside, which would be my toxic energy. I’ve been there and done that, no need to do it again. I couldn’t think of a better reason to STOP abusing myself. I can’t make others change their toxic energy, but I can change my own. I’ve come along way from the days where I accepted unacceptable behavior from others and/or myself.

Now, it’s about making sure the toxic energy doesn’t come back in to germinate, grow, and expand. The only way I can keep this from happening is get the lessons from the darkness that enters my world, and turn on the light. Toxic energy can’t grow in my internal home if I don’t attach to stories about the past or future. When I’m present, there is no story. I can deal with what comes up in the moment.

When I’m present, I’m aware. I can learn from whatever darkness starts to stir inside of me because I can get a clear view of it. I don’t have to let it turn into toxic energy. Toxic energy is what creates the toxic patterns that get me into trouble. Addictions are birthed and fed in toxic energy, so I need to be aware if I start doing anything to the extent of addiction, because succumbing to addiction is just another form of self-abuse. I can’t numb my darkness away; it only would turn into a fast growing toxic force field around my life. NO THANK YOU! I will choose to stay aware.

If I stay aware, I can check-in with my perspectives of truth easily. If I’m triggered, I can look at if I’m attaching to a perspective of truth that grows hidden toxic energy within my walls. When I stay aware, I can change my perspective of truth to serve the life I am choosing to live.

If I want to continue to consciously choose how I live, I have to keep doing the work. If I don’t do the work, the toxic energy has space to grow. My self-care is so important. Even my connection with God struggles if I’m not doing the work. When I used to get too caught up in my story, because I wasn’t doing the work and staying present, I blamed God for what was happening in my life. I wasn’t learning and growing from the important lessons I was getting, I was using them as an excuse to self-abuse.  I was giving my power away and I was even the victim of God in my story. NOT GOOD! When I do the work, I choose to live my best life and my connection with God is solid and healthy which engages my light.

When I do the work, I keep my light on. When I’m shining my light the people who are attracted to my life are shining their own light without trying to dim mine. The people who are stuck in their darkness aren’t even attracted to me—They are repelled. That’s why I stopped taking it personal when people don’t like me. I trust they aren’t meant to be in my life. When I don’t attach to the story of why someone doesn’t like me, I’m free to continue to shine my light.

What keeps me shining bright is gratitude. I’m living in true abundance when the energy of gratitude is filling me. Toxic energy has no place to hide and/or grow. It dies! My life is full and expanding. There are no empty holes to fill, just room for growth and expansion.

When I operate from a place of abundance, I live from a loving place. I give from a loving place. I receive from a loving place.  There is nothing more fulfilling than knowing that what I’m authentically putting out there is what I’m getting back. Even my lessons come from a loving place, and I can see the benefits. It’s AMAZING TO LIVE FROM HERE!

I know I’m not going to stay in this energy every second. I will slip, stumble, and fall as apart of my learning process. I simply just do my best. I learn from my slips, stumbles, and falls on my ass and I grow. If I choose to linger in my darkness, it’s because there is a bigger lesson to learn there. It just means I need to move deep through it and see what comes out of the depths. This is an important part of my growth, and accepting that is doing my best.

This process isn’t a one or two time fix. These are the tools I need for a lifetime. I know I may forget to pick one up, forget about one, and/ or upgrade my tool chest, but the important thing to remember is that I have a choice in how I choose to grow and expand my internal home. I am the only one responsible for keeping it clean and maintaining it. I can’t be scared of the dark. I have to be willing to shine the light by repeating and expanding on the tools I’ve learned.

What’s important to me is to stay open to change, grow, and expand. This means I have to embrace my lessons and see the blessings. This is the life I’ve chosen in order to keep my internal home clear of toxic energy. Doing this doesn’t just benefit me; it benefits all the people I have relationships with. It benefits all the causes I serve. It benefits the bigger picture of this life.

If I don’t have toxic energy in my internal home, I’m not spreading it to the people around me. I’m taking responsibility for my darkness and not blaming others for my triggers. I’m whole. I AM!

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for each new day because everyone I get gives me an opportunity to be and do better.
  2. I’m grateful for all the lessons that helped me to clean my soul with my tears.
  3. I’m grateful for my ability to see toxic energy and take steps to clean it up.
  4. I’m grateful that my love is stronger than any fear that I need to face.
  5. I’m grateful I AM.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

See today’s installment 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 84 – Keeping the Toxic Energy Out of Our Internal Homes to see each step today’s letter revealed.

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 83 – Taking Responsibility for Inviting the Dark Energy into My Internal Home

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 83: Taking Responsibility for Inviting the Dark Energy into My Internal Home

Dear Self,

I’m the only one who can invite dark energy into my internal home. I trust that if I attach to a person’s darkness in the physical world and invite that darkness to stir inside of me, I’ve invited the darkness in. I’m responsible for anything the darkness does inside of my internal home. If I’m attaching to the darkness, there is a reason for it. I have something to learn from it. I have a piece of me to heal if I’ve invited darkness in to teach me what I need to learn. I am resisting learning, which is why the darkness came to my door.

I have options when I see that I’ve invited the darkness into my home. The darkness stimulates fear, judgment, guilt, shame, hate, vengeance, greed, and/or ego—Just to name a few. I can see options in my thinking that will stimulate love, compassion, empathy, peace, joy, connection, and hope. I can find reasons to look at the situation from different perspectives to see that the only thing that is trapping me in my darkness are my thoughts. I am choosing my thoughts, so I have the key to get out of the darkness when I’m ready.

I can turn on the light. My first step towards turning on the light is prayer. I pray for the courage to face myself in my darkness. I know that the person, thing, or event in my physical world only triggered me to see my darkness. Now by choosing to shine the light on it, I’m willing to look deeper to see what my dark corner has hidden. For that, I need courage. Once I pray, I like giving myself space to mediate. When I’m quiet and my breath is steady, I hear the Divine whisper to me. If I don’t hear the answer consciously yet, my next step is to go out in nature and focus on what I see, hear, smell, touch, and/or taste. This opens my senses up to receiving answers. Most times nature offers me some insight. I go and stretch through my thoughts and center myself with the Earth through the practice of yoga. I don’t usually have to go any further, but sometimes if the dark energy is just lodged down deep, I shake it out and dance. My light switch clicks on.

This is where I can spot any toxic waste and build-up that is hidden in the dark. These are my old perspectives of truth that I may have thought I got rid of but they are still lingering and spreading like mold. These are those old beliefs that say things like, People have to like me so that I have value, I’m small, I’m unlovable, I’m a victim, I’m more important than another person, I’m less important than another person, I’m nothing, I’m entitled to more, I don’t deserve more, etc. I have to look at my toxic energy that is causing toxic patterns in my life. Those toxic patterns are what I attach to in other people’s darkness. If I’m being triggered by darkness, I’m in a great space to see the secrets that are being hidden in those dark corners.

Now, I can clean it out. My self-care regimen can help me to work through these old beliefs that I’m attaching to. I don’t have space for them anymore. It’s time to replace them with perspectives of truth that make my internal home warm, cozy, safe, comfortable, beautiful, loving, and inspiring. I pray for assistance to help me transform any toxic energy into light producing energy so that I’m able to project more love out into the world. The more clarity I get, the better the job I do at cleaning up the mess. I’m responsible for the upkeep, maintenance, growth, development, and expansion of my internal home.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m so grateful for the dark energy that I invited in because it showed me what areas of my internal home that still need work.
  2. I’m grateful that I’m empowered to make the changes I need to in order to shine my light.
  3. I’m grateful to God for helping me find my courage and strength to face my darkness and take responsibility for it.
  4. I’m grateful to the people who trigger my darkness because they help me to become a better version of me.
  5. I’m grateful for all the unlimited choices I have on perspectives. I love that I ALWAYS have options of how I want to look at things.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 83 – Taking Responsibility for Inviting Dark Energy into Our Internal Homes

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 82 – Implementing My Healthy Boundaries in Dark Situations

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 82: Implementing My Healthy Boundaries in Dark Situations

Dear Self,

I’ve learned so much on this journey of implementing my boundaries. What I’ve realized in my practice of using my healthy tools is that I no longer take on other people’s darkness. I used to feel like I had to engage in the darkness (i.e. fear) to get my point across or not be walked on by someone in their darkness, but what I realized is that by engaging in their darkness only makes me feed and spread mine. I definitely DON’T want to be doing that. I’ve learned how to listen while being lovingly unattached to their energy. I can’t say I do this perfect every time, but the more I do it, the better I get.

One of my biggest challenges in implementing my healthy boundaries is to STAY PRESENT!!! It can be very easy to be caught up in the story whether it is mine or someone else’s. When I realize I’m feeding the darkness of a story, I need to pull back and re-group because it means I got out of the present moment. People who are REALLY stuck in their darkness will have story after story filled with blame, shame, guilt, judgment, victimhood, and hate it may be aimed at me or someone else, but if a person isn’t taking any personal responsibility for where they are, they are lost in darkness. I don’t help them by feeding into it. If and when I stay present, my other natural healthy boundaries fall into line. If I’m challenged to stay present, it just means I have to work a little harder to stay in my light.

It is such a blessing not to feel obligated to take on someone else’s darkness. When I remind myself of that, I don’t feel the weight of someone else’s energy. I don’t try to control their journey or get tied to their story. I can step back and remind myself that the only person I am responsible for is me. What they choose to do with their energy is their business. If I shine my light and they see it, it means they have a want to get out of their own darkness. If they don’t see it, they are comfortable where they are and they will be until the darkness gets too much for them to handle.

My calmness can help to ease and lift some of the dark energy in the room. If my darkness isn’t triggered by their darkness it brings light into the situation whether they want to be apart of it or not. I’m protected in the calm. I can think clearly when I’m calm, present, and not attaching to any of their story.

When I struggle with implementing my tools, I pray! PRAY! And PRAY SOME MORE! There are times where I feel the fear creeping up in me so I know that I’m not fueling the energy of what I stand for and those are the times I need to pray the most. I pray for guidance and that the words coming out of my mouth are will come from a loving place. I pray that I’m guided to take action in a way that serves the best possible outcome in the situation. I pray for the courage and strength to stay in my light. I know when I pray; I’m focused on being the best I can be in the moment.

People who are trapped in their darkness aren’t seeking to hurt me personally. They may be trying to hurt what I represent in their heads, but what I represent in their heads has nothing to do with who I really am. It is a distorted image created by their own darkness. This is not personal. They are looking at me through a story based on perspectives of truth led by fear. I may be the villain or the vandal in their story because I’m not engaging in their darkness with them and that’s ok. They are where they are. If I keep feeling, thinking, believing, and acting from a loving place, I’m being true to me. I won’t leave the situation with any regrets because I will trust exactly how the exchange went. I will take the lessons I need to make me better, and then I get to move on. I’m free!

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m so incredibly grateful that I have the tools to keep me out of someone else’s darkness.
  2. I’m grateful I have healthy boundaries because it means I’m taking care of me.
  3. I’m grateful that I know that I’m always exactly where I’m supposed to be in this moment.
  4. I’m grateful for the power of long deep breaths.
  5. I’m grateful that EVERYDAY I do the work, I get better.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff © 2019

Read Today’s Installment to get 10 Essentials to Implementing Healthy Boundaries in Dark Situations: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 82 – Implementing Healthy Boundaries in Dark Situations

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 81 – Protecting My Internal Home from Vandals

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 81: Protecting My Internal Home from Vandals

Dear Self,

You have done great work to build a life from a loving place. The foundation to which I’ve built my internal home and garden is stable, solid, and strong. Now it’s my job to protect what I’ve built. I have to do the work to maintain my home and grow my garden.

When I commit to doing the work of caring for my internal home, I’m aware of who I’m inviting in. I can only protect my inner world by staying conscious of where my feelings, thoughts, and perspectives of truths are taking me. If I’m choosing to spend mental time on people who are stuck in their darkness, then I’ve invited them in. The more space I give them in my home, the more damage they will do. I don’t have to let anyone in my home that doesn’t serve my best self. Anytime I’ve chosen to be a victim of someone I’ve invited in, they have the power to vandalize my home. This is not a real person. It’s only my thoughts about them. I created this version of them in my world, so I have the power to make them anyway I see fit. If I don’t want to be a victim of them, I have to choose differently.

Only I can make the choice whether or not to invite them in. I do this by how I’m choosing to give my perspectives of individuals power in my internal world. If I’m letting someone I don’t want there take over my fear-filled perspectives. I’m filling my home with darkness. Vandals are hiding in my dark spots ready to come out. The more I choose love, the less dark hiding places I have.

Vandals have no place in my home. My home is meant to shine light. My house has been built to send loving energy into the world. My energy is aligned with the life and people I want in my world.

I can experience people in their darkness in the physical world without ever needing to bring them into my internal home. This is the gift of awareness, perception, and action. This is an amazing journey and where my true empowerment lies.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for my choices of who I want to invite into my internal home.
  2. I’m grateful I have the tools to maintain my internal home and garden.
  3. I’m grateful for the knowledge that the healthy of my inner world is up to me.
  4. I’m grateful for the light that comes from within me lighting the way.
  5. I’m grateful that I’m abundant in my inner world.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 81 – Protecting Our Internal Homes from Vandals

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 80 – Living Gratitude in My Relationships

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 80: Living Gratitude in My Relationships

Dear Universe,

I feel so incredibly blessed to have the relationships I do in my life. I feel blessed to have learned so much from the relationships of my past. I feel so incredibly blessed to be living gratitude in my relationships more than I choose to live in lack now. I’m so incredibly grateful to experience so many different people with different backgrounds, experience, and opinions. Each one helps me to grow exponentially.

Living Gratitude in my relationships has shown me exactly where I am in my perspective. When I see someone’s light, I’m in my light. If I see and react to someone’s darkness, I’m in my darkness. If I respond to someone’s darkness from a loving and grateful place, I’m in my brightest light. If I feel my inner people pleaser emerging, I’m stuck in feelings and energy of lack. If I do things for others, because it feels good to do it, I’m in my feelings and energy of abundance. Living in gratitude helps me to spot, shift, and change my feelings, thoughts, and actions to project abundance to the people I’ve chosen to love, honor, and respect. I’m so incredibly grateful to have learned how to do this. The blessings that have come from living gratitude in my relationships are nothing short of miracles.

Seeing the best in people in my life has helped me to see the best in myself. When I can spot the beauty in them, I see that I had to project that beauty out to be attracted back to me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to recognize and appreciate it. I would still be stuck in picking apart the other person if I was picking apart myself. I see now that the only time I’m picking on someone else to others or even to myself is when I’m digging at myself. I may be angry with myself for saying yes when I know that I wanted to say no. I may be feeling weak because I sacrificed my healthy boundaries to appease someone else’s comfort. I may be feeling justified in my toxic energy I’m putting out because someone else’s is worse. I may be feeling insecure about who I am so I take it out on someone else.  Anyway I look at it, it all comes back to the energy that I’m putting out and that is MY choice.

I want the people I love to know exactly how much I love and appreciate them. I want them to see how much them being in my life means to me. I can only do this by choosing to live in gratitude in my relationships. In order to do that, I must decide to live gratitude in my life.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for my children for being who they are and showing me ways to be a better mom daily.
  2. I’m grateful for my dad and my “special mom” who taught me so much about love, life, growth, and death.
  3. I’m grateful for my mom being a beacon of light even when I am in my darkness.
  4. I’m grateful for my sister for helping me to learn so much about what it means to be strong and compassionate while standing up for the people we love. I’m incredibly grateful for her ability to bring out the best laughs in me by the mere sound of her laughter.
  5. I’m grateful for my stepdad for loving me like I am his own and being such an amazing friend.
  6. I’m grateful to my amazing partner who I can love and accept for who he is and where we are in each moment. I’m so grateful we both know how to support each other in loving and encouraging ways.
  7. I’m grateful to all my incredible extended family who show up with love and support no matter how much time passes.
  8. I’m grateful to my absolutely AMAZING soul sister and agent for encouraging me to spread my voice and my work as we travel this life’s journey together. I’m so incredibly grateful for the day when everything came together in the Universe for us to meet over a decade ago.
  9. I’m grateful for my friends new and old who show me my light and my darkness and give me so many opportunities to live, laugh, and love.
  10. I’m grateful for the relationships that trigger my darkness so I can see it and heal it.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

If you missed it, check out today’s installment get 6 Simple Steps to Living Gratitude in Your Relationships by following this link: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 80 – Living Gratitude in Our Relationships

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 79 – Committing to Healthy Communication

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 79: Committing to Healthy Communication

Dear Self,

I’ve had plenty of experiences in my life engaging in toxic communication. I’ve seen and experienced the havoc that communicating in darkness creates. I no longer want to contribute to the toxic energy that creates more hate and separation. I want to communicate from a loving place. My intention is to understand the views of others so that I can see clearly where they are coming from. If I don’t understand, that means I haven’t asked enough questions to gain understanding. Whether I agree with their perspective or not, I want to make sure I’m seeing the person in front of me as clearly as I can. I want to see where their perspectives of love and fear are coming from. I want to share from a place of love, strength and hope.

I’m committed to speak and listen with compassion, empathy, and the intention of learning from the person I’m communicating with. My goal is to be aware of where I’m taking my feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, and actions on this journey of communicating with others in the healthiest way possible.

I will take responsibility and show gratitude for their place in my life and let them know how their words and actions affected me without blaming or making them responsible for what is going on inside of me. I’m responsible for my feelings and choices!

Living this way makes me feel empowered. I’m living life instead of life living me. I love learning about people from all different perspectives of truth. My heart is filled with more joy, peace, and compassion when I can see how many ways there are to experience love. No two people are exactly alike and I want to celebrate that by learning as much as I can about the people I’m interacting with.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I grateful for the opportunity to communicate from a loving place.
  2. I’m grateful for getting to learn about others and how their perspectives of truth affect their lives.
  3. I’m grateful for all the different ways love can be expressed in different relationships, homes, lifestyles, cultures, religions, and countries.
  4. I’m grateful to my loved ones for helping me grow in my understanding.
  5. I’m grateful for the strangers who come into my life and share a piece of their life with me.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s  Installment: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 79 – Healthy Communication Tools

This include 10 Healthy Communications Tools to help ensure the best communication possible.

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 78 – I’m Triggered! Using Self-Reflection to Heal My Energy

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 78: I’m triggered! Using Self-Reflection to Heal My Energy

Dear Self,

I had an exchange with a woman where I felt completely triggered. I felt attacked and like the person was saying that my perspective was wrong and unhealthy. Now, this person doesn’t live the kind of life that I want to be living, so why am I taking what she said personally. That’s her perspective according to how she chooses to live her life. If I REALLY could fully embrace that, I wouldn’t be having a reaction right now. I wouldn’t choose to feel victimized by her words. I really need to go deeper to figure out what this exchange has triggered in me.

Maybe the part in me that isn’t fully healed from being a people pleaser—I wanted her to agree, like, and respect me and she doesn’t. It also may be that she reminds me of my childhood when I was talked down to like I didn’t know what I was talking about and that my view was treated with disrespect. I remember feeling small and inferior during those times. I felt unheard and unimportant. I felt unworthy. Ok, this definitely doesn’t have anything to do with the woman I was just interacting with because her opinion of me is encompassed by her own darkness. I’m really okay with her not agreeing with me.

Now that I know I’m not dealing with this woman’s opinion being the problem, I can dig deeper to the parts of me that are still working through feeling unworthy. The perspectives of truth I’m choosing to believe are making me feel weak and inferior. I’m not that little girl anymore. I’m a woman of strength, courage, love, and hope. The way I’m feeling in this moment isn’t reflecting the beliefs I live by now. My perspectives of truth bring my life peace and joy. I don’t see any reason to continue to believe that I’m a victim of other people’s opinions. I know my worth! I don’t need anyone else to know it.

Ok, I’m feeling a little calmer, but I’m still not sure I can 100% promise that I’m going to be able to communicate with this woman from a loving place, so I will sit, meditate, pray, and remain silent until I feel that my communication will be worthy of the energy I want to project out into the world. I definitely don’t want someone’s darkness to affect my light. If I’m meant to have another exchange with her, I trust that the opportunity will arise.

I just need to keep in mind what it is I stand for. I need to focus on how best to communicate without taking on the energy of people who are out there showing their darkness. The question I need to ask myself is… How do I shine my light here? If I feel clear about the answer, if the answer brings me peace, I know I’m in a healthy place.People can only trigger me if I let them. I only let them if I’m facing some darkness within me. When I’m honest with myself—I get better! My energy now is aligned with the energy I want to project out into the world.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful I ALWAYS have a choice in how I view a situation.
  2. I’m grateful for the power of self-reflection to get me out of my own dark energy.
  3. I’m grateful for other people giving me the chance to learn more about myself.
  4. I’m grateful that I’ve learned how to love myself, so that I know my worth.
  5. I’m SO grateful for my ability to change and be better.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Need more inspiration? Read 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 78 – Using Self-Reflection When We Are Triggered

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 77 – Giving Without Giving Myself Away

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 77: Giving Without Giving Myself Away

Dear Self,

I AM! I exist, so whatever title I take on is not my identity. If I lose any of my titles I don’t lose the fact that I still AM. My connection to the Divine Energy rests in the place of I AM. I AM is right here and right now in this moment. When I’m in this place, I give from a full tank, a full well—A place of abundance. I’m not giving to feel complete in some way. I’m not using my giving as a way to fill a void, to get something that I want, or to get into a beautiful afterlife. I give from a loving place, which is how I choose to follow the path laid out by Spirit. I give from a loving place inspired by stories of others who have given from a loving place.  I give from a loving place because it is what lights up my soul.

The black hole that is created by lack is not where my energy rests anymore. I’m not anyone’s doormat. When I stay in the present moment, in the place of I AM, I can see and feel when it feels right to give and when it doesn’t. I make conscious choices because my head is where my feet are.

Now, when I give—I feel energized! The process of giving isn’t taking away my energy like it used to when I gave from a place of lack. I can only give from the place of I Am if I do the work to stay in the energy. This is a daily commitment to being honest with myself. I take the time to love myself and show myself the love and respect that I deserve. Only when I do that am I not giving myself away.  I’ve taught the people how to treat me, and I trust that whoever comes into my life has a purpose for being there.

I give without giving myself away because I’m willing to take responsibility for my choices. I accept my past. I’m not confining myself to a prison sentence because I don’t feel worthy because of my past mistakes. They were apart of my learning process and I’m stronger because of them. The life of lack and darkness was depleting. I no longer make the choice to do that to myself anymore.

In every moment I AM exactly where I’m supposed to be, learning what I’m supposed to be learning, teaching what I’m supposed to be teaching, and living like I’m supposed to be living. The more I live within this moment the more conscious I am of what I’m choosing to give my energy too.

With this journey I’ve learned to be very patient with myself. If I don’t react from a loving place, it’s just an opportunity to learn and grow. How I give is a reflection of where I am inside. My honesty is critical for not giving myself away!

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for feeling abundant.
  2. I’m grateful for my ability to give from a loving place.
  3. I’m grateful for my commitment to self-care.
  4. I’m grateful for I AM.
  5. I’m grateful for the tools I have to be A BETTER ME.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Here’s a link to Today’s A Better Me Message: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 77 – How We Give Without Giving Ourselves Away Get 11 Steps to Giving Without Giving Yourself Away.

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 76 -Using Perspective Tools to Navigate My Relationships

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 76: Using Perspective Tools to Navigate My Relationships

Dear Self,

I choose how I want to view any situation. If I say I want to live life from a loving place, it means I need to make sure my thinking is coming from a loving place when I’m interacting with the people I invite into my life. Using perspective tools helps me to not get caught up in my own story. I have to remember that I’m the writer of my own story and the person I’m communicating with is the writer of hers/his. We are not writing from the same exact point of view. We are going to have different angles on how we view the same situation.

My awareness of where my thoughts are coming from is key. If I question my thoughts to see if they are loving or fearful, I’m slowing down enough to start re-writing my story that is going through my head. I can see that I’m choosing my perspectives of how I’m looking at the situation. I can choose a different angle.

I can choose to be the hero or the victim of any story that goes through my head. The one thing that is important for me to remember is that I’m the lead character in my story. No one can be in charge of writing my story except for me. It doesn’t matter what anyone does to me, the one thing that is always in my power is my perspective, which is my ability to write my story of my inner world. If I want to be living my best life, I need to choose to write stories that reflect that.

When I’m communicating with others, I have to take the time to try to understand where their perspectives are coming from too. If I don’t, there is so much room for miscommunication. Miscommunication leads to fear, judgment, blame, shame, jealousy, and anger amongst other things. First I need to be clear if they are communicating and if their perspectives of truth come from a place of love or fear. Then I need to ask them questions to try to understand why they have that point of view, and how thinking that way make them feel. If the way they are feeling, thinking, and acting isn’t bringing them joy and/or peace, I can question if I want to take on the perspective and I HAVE TO REMEMBER:

NOBODY CAN FORCE ME TO FEEL, THINK, OR ACT any particular way. If someone is coming to me from a place of violence (fear/darkness), they are not in control of my inner world even if they are forcing violence on me in the physical world. They are choosing to live unconsciously in the dark in a inner world full of fear, loathing, rage, horror, blaming, shaming, judging, and hating. I still get to choose which energy I want to be projecting from the inside—That’s my SUPER POWER! I can engage my own light or my own darkness in any moment.

Communicating with perspective tools makes my relationships so much better. It also helps me to see if there are particular characters that don’t need to be in my story anymore. I don’t have to have people front and center in my story if they are trapped in their own darkness and try to create darkness in my physical or inner world. I can choose to take them out of my story or put them in the distant background so that their darkness doesn’t temp me to dim my light. If I choose to keep them in my story it’s to give me lessons of courage, strength, perseverance, and wisdom of how to shine my light even while facing the dark, but if their character has a negative effect on my inner home, I can shut the door at ANY TIME!

I love the choices I have when I’m using perspective tools to navigate my relationships. Life becomes so much more peaceful when I can see what is my stuff and what is someone else’s and that I don’t have to interpret situations exactly like my family, romantic partners, friends, coworkers, business partners, and any other student of life. This is my story! I can question my thoughts until I writing the story that brings me the feelings that inspire me to be loving, excited, adventurous, joyful, compassionate, empathetic, and peaceful. My story—My choice!

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for the choices I have to choose how I want to view things.
  2. I’m grateful that I don’t have to let a thought ruin a perfectly good day.
  3. I’m grateful that my perspective is my power.
  4. I’m grateful that I’m choosing to live life from a loving place today
  5. I’m grateful that I can choose love even in the face of fear.

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 76 – Using Perspective Tools to Navigate Our Relationships

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 75 -Being Present With the People I Invite Into My Life

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 75: Being Present With the People I Invite Into My Life

Dear Self,

I’ve realized the importance of being present with the people I invite into my life for a variety of reasons. I’ve learned the hard way that people definitely show me who they are and what happens when I don’t want to believe them. I get hurt. Not because they intentionally set out to hurt me, but because hurt is what he/she has inside. They project out what they have inside and a hurt persons actions lead to shaming, blaming, judging, and victimizing. The signs were there early on, but I chose not to see them because I was stuck in my own darkness.

As I learn to take better and better care of myself, I realize that being present with the people I invite into my life is much easier. I not only pay attention to what people are showing me, but I pay attention to what I’m showing them by the choices I’m making. Being present has helped me to slow down to make better choices to project healthy boundaries. I’m showing them how to treat me if they want to be in my life.

Staying present with the people I choose to be in my life has made life much more joy-filled. I find I don’t have expectations of others to be who and what they aren’t. I get to enjoy the moment I’m in for what it is right now. I’m not worried about what it’s going to mean for some future I have no clue about.

If I’m not enjoying myself with the people I’ve invited in, I’ve noticed there isn’t a pull to keep engaging with them. I don’t try to force time with them or make things work that just aren’t meant to be anything more than a lesson of growth. I can say goodbye in peace because I know it’s best for me.

I only know how to do this because I’m treating myself with the love and respect that I deserve. I know my time is valuable, so who I choose to spend it on means something. I want to embrace the connections I have with others in the best way possible. The more honest I am with myself, the more present I allow myself to be in my connections.

I love what being present does for my life. I can learn the lessons I’m meant to learn from the people I invite in, then if the lesson is done—I can let them go. If I’m meant to learn, grow, and expand with the people in my life—They stay. The more present I get, the more aware I become. This is a beautiful journey and I feel truly blessed to share it with the people I’ve invited into my physical and internal worlds.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for the lessons I get when I stay present with the people in my life.
  2. I’m grateful for learning how to be a better friend by staying present.
  3. I’m grateful for the many blessings that come from staying present in my relationships.
  4. I’m grateful for the way I feel when I’m honest with myself and others.
  5. I’m grateful for each connection I’m blessed enough to get with loved ones.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 75 – Being Present with the People We Invite Into Our Lives