Dear Fear: A Letter from A Better Me

Dear Fear,

I know you have served me in the past and protected me at times. I thank you for your service in keeping me safe. The problem is now I don’t need protection like I did when I was a child.  Living in your presence on a daily basis is holding me back. I keep attracting more negativity in my life to be afraid of in order to keep you alive and fed.

This doesn’t serve me, or any of the people I love. I can’t blame you, because I gave you power over my life. Some of it I did unconsciously, but other times I knew exactly what I was doing. Now I need to release you and find different ways to cope with the situations in front of me. I’ve realized that if you are in control, love has no room to come through. Your power has been a detriment to my relationships and a drain on my emotions. 

I no longer use you to define my worth. I will not belittle myself in fear of not being loved by others, because I know I’m putting that fearful energy out there and pushing away love. I deserve to feel love from myself. I don’t need your voice in my head making me feel like I’m not good enough. I am!                  

Fear is the gateway energy to way too many bad things. I know when I am living in fear; anger, jealousy, shame, prejudice, and blame are quick to follow in order to support the fear. When I’m not in fear, I don’t have to worry about how others are choosing to live their lives. I’m not in competition with anyone else. I just strive to do my best and help others do their best along the way.  I’ve discovered I’m a better person without fear running my life. I’m free to show more love to myself, others, animals, and the environment. 

I’m also aware of how fearful thinking has skewed my view of reality and took away my appreciation for the present moment. I don’t want to do that to myself, or the people I’m with anymore. Life is too precious to be avoiding it.  My life will no longer revolve around you. 

I no longer need you to help me find solutions. When you are at the core of the decision-making the solutions are not in the best interests for anyone or anything involved. I’m tired of feeling not enough, and that is what believing in you has done to me. I’m so scared of everything, I don’t know what is a real authentic fear and what isn’t. 

I’m tired of not being able to trust my gut because you are weaving a web of terror on my psyche. It makes doing the right thing so much harder, and I’m usually the one who gets hurt in the end if I depend on you.  I’m no longer in need of an energy that will keep me down. I release you so that I can give space for joy, love, and hope to take over my life.  I have finally realized that good solutions don’t come from negative energy.  I’m truly ready to start seeing things differently through love and grace.  

Today, my focus is bringing more good into the world by focusing my energy on the things that will help myself and others live a better life today. I no longer have to fear the unknown future. When I’m free of you my mind clears to make the best informed decisions. I can trust my heart and the energy I put out into the Universe. I can read the warning signs without losing myself to you. I will make better decisions when you are not at the core of my thought process. Today will be a better day without you consuming my thoughts and actions. I lovingly send your energy out into the Universe to be released and transformed.

With love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2017

13 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me

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A Thank You Note to the Universe

Dear Universe,

Thank you for all that you have provided me with in my life. Thank you for making sure I have oxygen to breathe, food to eat, and water to drink. Thank you for all the miracles in nature. From the ocean to the mountains, the birds to alligators, and the flowers to the majestic trees, I’m in awe. 

I’m grateful for the extremities I have, because I know others have to learn to be without. I’m grateful for my voice so that I can stand up and speak the words that are close to my heart. I’m grateful for my eyes so that I can appreciate all the beauty around me, and see when people are in need of help.

I appreciate each and every lesson that grows me stronger, even if I don’t remember to thank you while I’m going through the tough ones. I appreciate the people who showed me what it felt like not to be loved, so that I recognize when I truly am. I appreciate all the love you have brought into my life and the blessings that come with it. I appreciate each moment you give me on this Earth to live, love, and grow into the best version of myself. 

I’m grateful in my power to choose my words, beliefs, feelings, actions, and reactions. My perspective is my power, and I don’t ever have to give my power away.  It is my choice at any moment to use it wisely or learn a lesson from it. It doesn’t matter what anyone else does to me. I can ALWAYS choose to rise above. If I don’t, it is nobody else’s fault; my responsibility is my power. For that, I thank you. I am never powerless to be the best version of myself. In that space, I am most helpful to the world around me.

 I’m relieved to know, I’m never alone. I see signs that miracles are all around me. Your vastness goes beyond what I can possibly understand. I can only hope my gratitude shows in the way I choose to live my life. 

I commit to doing the best I can. I will take responsible and learn from the times I fall short. I will also forgive myself and others when necessary. This way, I can continue to share the love within me and not have it tainted by shame, guilt, fear, anger, and rage because of holding onto the past. 

With Love and Gratitude, 

A Better Me 

Rachael Wolff © 2020, 2018

Just 2 Weeks Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me!

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You are NOT Stupid!

To the People who Refer to Themselves as Stupid:

We all make mistakes! Mistakes are missteps, detours, and/or stepping stones to growth (as long as we learn from them). They definitely don’t make us stupid. We may try things and fail again and again. You are still not stupid. You may turn to drugs or alcohol thinking you can escape and find out it only makes everything worse. You are still not stupid. Our self-talk defines what feels normal from someone else. How we talk to ourselves makes it okay for someone else to talk to us however we are talking to ourselves. Make sure it’s good. Our self-talk can be the reason we can’t accept compliments if we don’t believe we deserve them. 

You deserve more than calling yourself names. You deserve more than others calling you names. The first step to living better begins with cleaning up your self-talk. If you aren’t going to do it, you will never be able to feel the full appreciation others have for you, because your focus is on the people who treat you the same way you treat yourself. You have lived and survived many lessons in your life. You deserve to be proud of yourself for still being here. You can take life’s circumstances and learn from them. This doesn’t mean you will do this or anything else in life perfectly, because none of us our perfect. Why are you holding yourself to a standard that you don’t hold anyone else to? 

We simply make choices and we have the ability to make a better choices for ourselves in every moment that passes us. Don’t focus on the future or the past. Don’t worry about where this choice will get you or what has happened before. In this moment, make the best choice that you can make. When you make a choice that brings you joy, celebrate it. When you make a choice that brings you pain, learn from it. Don’t be a prisoner by using your choices as a tool to beat yourself up. 

When you feel stupid for the choice you made, write it down, then right down three better choices. Figure out what is creating you to want to make the unhealthy choices, and then forgive yourself. Thank the Universe for the learning experience. Reframing will help you stop beating yourself up.  You are worth your own kindness. When we are not kind to ourselves, we allow others to walk on us. We lie down and become a doormat willingly because we don’t have the self-worth to say something. We try to prove our worth to others by doing for them what they can do for themselves. This still doesn’t make us stupid. We are doing the best we can do in every moment.

Today, commit to making choices that make you feel good inside. Today, do something for yourself that makes you feel valuable. Try looking in the mirror and saying, “I’m not stupid, I’m learning.” Say it until you believe it. When you do, your reality will shift for the better.

With Love and Gratitude, 

A Better Me 

Rachael Wolff © 2020, 2017

15 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me!

Other purchasing options can be found here: https://fromalovingplace.com/book/

Please Stop Bashing People who Speak Out About Sexual Misconduct

To the Men and Women Who Are Bashing the People Speaking Out About Sexual Misconduct:

There are so many reasons why people don’t speak up right away. Did you know that a lot of us who have said something right away get ignored and ridiculed? Do you know what that does to us when we are told our feelings and personal boundary lines don’t matter? Do you know as a culture we have been trained not to rock the boat? Did you know that some women just think it’s part of being a woman? How sick is that? A woman doesn’t feel that her body and personal boundaries should be respected. Some of us have given in to the way society thinks we should use what some call our assets, but guess what—The amount of internal and emotional damage that does is beyond what some may ever imagine. 

The shame and guilt that comes with not being true to ourselves is a factor in falling into addictions, depression, anxiety, and when it is a really bad situation PTSD. Some people have no idea that it’s not just war trauma that causes it. Part of reconciling all these things is to take our power back. That means we won’t sit on the sidelines and be okay when we see this happening around us or to us. This may take years or decades. These empowered women and men who came forward paved the way for other women and men saying enough is enough. We won’t keep letting this happen. 

For those of you bashing them on social media, I want you to think about your friend list. I promise you your statements attacked at least a few of the women on that list. Some of them might be ready to stand up against it happening to them and you could be a voice that makes them feel shame and fear to not speak out. You could be causing someone you love to not speak out and live with a deep level of sickness that you have no idea about. Do you really want to be that person? 

Some women/men like the attention and the power they feel during sexually fueled power/dominance encounters. That is their prerogative, but that doesn’t mean those of us who aren’t should have to put up with what we don’t feel comfortable with in our interactions. We should feel confident to say something when our boundaries have been crossed without feeling like we are going to be ridiculed or our careers are in jeopardy.

As a woman who has experienced everything from sexual harassment to rape, please stop shaming these women and men for coming forward. Maybe put yourself in the position of someone like me who has PTSD flashbacks.  This  means being pulled in too tight for a hug, a man grabbing me from behind, the smell of alcohol on a man’s breath, or sometimes even an inappropriate comment can make me go through an entire process to get myself out of feeling like I’m crawling out of my own skin. I’m right back in that powerless position of being completely violated. Is that funny to you? Do you want to bash me for having a visceral reaction?  

Think of these women/men as your daughters and/or sons, would you want your daughter/son to accept this type of behavior? Would you want your daughter to feel like just because she’s a woman she should put up with being grabbed, taunted, and sexually manipulated? I hope your answer is no.

We are at an important place in time letting women and men know that these behaviors aren’t acceptable. This will encourage us to be able to cut off a situation as it happening without fearing the repercussions. It will help businesses be more conscious of the problem and do something about it. No person should feel unsafe in his or her personal or professional environment. 

I like to see the best in humanity, that’s why I have so much respect for the men coming forward and genuinely apologizing for their actions. Some men have no idea how their actions are affecting women because they have been taught over and over that these behaviors are acceptable. Those are the men who will change and genuinely feel remorse. They may even turn into our biggest advocates.  The others are predators; they will deny and/or rationalize their choices until the end. We also can’t ignore the attention getters, those who lie for the publicity. We know they are going to come out and they are predators too. They give the true empowered voices a bad name. They are not the majority of people coming forward. Don’t let the few be a reason not to listen to the many. They are our teachers, and how we react shows the people around us who we are. 

Change is the best apology. I see what is happening now as a wake up call to be better and do better. I will stand up for myself when it happens to me. I can’t force anyone else to change their thoughts, beliefs, or actions. I can change how I contribute or accept them in my life. 

All of these women and men coming forward helped me find my voice. For that, I thank them. I will no longer tolerate or accept this behavior in my personal and/or my professional life. I will stand up for those who are brave enough to come forward and I will pray for those who are still trying to find their way. I pray for the women who have gone through this to find forgiveness toward themselves, their assailants, and the people who didn’t stand with them. Not for the people who hurt them, but for themselves, so that the experience can be transformed into positive actions to help themselves and others. I’m grateful to all the women who have helped these women and men take their power back. 

I’m not trying to leave out any humans who have dealt with this either, no matter how they identify themselves. When we use our voices to stand for our fellow humans deserving respect, love, compassion, and empathy— humanity wins. When we stand up, our voices show the world that violating others is unacceptable! When we stand up, we are taking a step to end the violence. Our voice and our actions shows the world who we are.

With Love, Gratitude, and Many Prayers, 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff © 2020, 2017

16 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me!

Other places to purchase the book can be found here: https://fromalovingplace.com/book/

A Letter to Self: Staying Open to Learn

Dear Self,

Please, keep your eyes open to what is beyond physical sight. Help me to be aware of how my thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and behaviors are guiding me. If I’m focused on fear, please make me aware of seeing my situation through eyes of love. Let me see there is a choice in how I perceive each experience in my life.

When I focus on love, let me revel in the feelings that bring me great joy. Help me find ways to see love in action all around me. Help me to focus on being present so I don’t miss a moment. I want to be available to see all the doors opening in front of me and to know which ones I need to close. 

Please don’t run from yourself. When things come up, face them! I know how important it is to feel the way through the pain so it doesn’t become suppressed shame. When that happens, I end up taking it out on others and it is not their stuff. My awareness will set me free. If I’m aware of where the pain first started, I can heal it. I don’t have to punish myself for things that happened when I was a child or even a young adult. I can see them as growth experiences and just stay focused on being aware of not repeating harmful patterns. 

Lastly, let me be aware of when I am trying to self-medicate through toxic sources. This means, I’m picking friends who are stirring up drama, or I choose to stir up drama; I find abusive relationships whether verbal or physical as a way to abuse myself; I drink to get numb and drunk; I take substances to avoid facing my own darkness; I do anything in excess such as eat, watch TV, play games, and get caught up in social media. If I have a negative vice, please make me aware of a positive one to steer me in the direction of love, peace, and gratitude in my life.

With Loving Thoughts,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2017,2020

17 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me!

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Life Lessons Are Blessings

A LETTER FROM A BETTER ME

Dear self,

Life is full of lessons. I’m done resisting what’s been brought for me to learn. I’m not being punished. I have important lessons to learn in this life in order to serve the purpose I’ve been brought here to serve. My life hasn’t been easy, but I’ve had so many blessing come my way because of my struggles. I love what I’ve learned in my life despite the pain, suffering, and pure agony of experiencing what I had to experience. The pain reminds me of how strong I am.

I’m inspired by people who lived through the worst of humanity and still found ways to serve humanity with love. There a so many examples through history. I don’t want to make excuses about why I can’t be a loving person. There is no excuse. If I want to love, I have to invest in feelings, thoughts, and actions that align my energy with love. If I’m not doing that, I’m not going to project and attract love.

Today, I commit to letting the lessons of my past guide me to being a better me. When I commit to living this way, all my lessons turn into blessings.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

18 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me

Other options to purchase your copy can be found here: Http://FromALovingPlace.com/Book/

An Apology for What I Missed

Dear Now,

I never knew how against you I really was. I thought I was more attuned than I actually am. A passage in A New Earth: Awakening Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle just opened my eyes. He explains, “There are three ways in which the ego will treat the present moment: as a means to an end, as an obstacle, or as enemy” (p.202). As I read on it became clearer as to how I really have been treating you. 

As grateful as I am for all my many blessing, I’m finally seeing how I created some serious obstacles to abundance and growth. I’ve been missing so many moments of presence by just getting through a period of time.  If I just get through this time, then I can do… fill in the blank. I’ve used my present moment as an obstacle, hence an excuse not to embrace the moment. It’s because I’m here that I can’t do… fill in the blank. Finally, time has definitely been my enemy as I put my walls up and go into survival mode. When I’m in a situation where I feel attacked and unappreciated, I can slip right past you and not see what is really going on. I’m so far beyond the present moment. I can honestly say, I don’t even know what is happening when I get like this. 

I can’t tell you how sorry I am for being so unaware of how my actions are making me miss some very important moments and opportunities. I’m working on being present and not taking you for granted. I know in every moment that I have air moving through my lungs, I have an opportunity to be grateful. When I am with you and can stay with you, the pain in a moment can be transformed. I can see more than meets the eye when I honor you. 

Right NOW, I commit to having a better relationship with you. I will do as Tolle suggests:

“What is my relationship with the present moment? Then become alert to find out the answer. Am I treating the Now as no more than a means to an end? Do I see it as an obstacle? Am I making it into an enemy?(p. 203)

I know that by doing this, I will find the oneness with life that I’ve been in search of. I know the obstacles will fall away and I will get to experience the one thing I’ve been missing in my everyday life, you. 

I will no longer have to go somewhere else to appreciate a moment of awe, I can do it right here and Now, with you. 

With Love and Gratitude, 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2018

19 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me!!!

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A Letter from A Better Me: No Perfection Needed

Dear Perfection,

I know you don’t exist, so why do I expect you in places you don’t belong? Why do I expect others to not make mistakes? Why do I condemn myself when I make mistake? My logic tells me I learn from the mistakes I made. Isn’t that better than not learning anything at all. Is it necessary to shame myself and others for their mistakes, especially if they are taking responsibility and learning from them. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know that there are some very sick people out there. I’ve personally experienced quite a few, but they have the right to learn from their mistakes too.

If they are incapable of learning from their mistakes, they will serve as a great lesson, and if I learn from that extreme lesson, it’s a blessing. In this way, I’m not the victim of someone else’s imperfections. People who don’t learn will get lesson, after lesson, after lesson. They may blame, shame, and continue to abuse themselves and others, and it will keep getting worse for them. Not my problem. That’s their stuff, that is their attachments to how they think life should be. I get to decide how I want to live. You better believe, I’m not going to choose that way. Life is about the lessons and the blessings. There is no place for you here. 

I’m not going to beat myself up if I have feelings of fear, rage, anger, frustration, and disappointment. I’m not going to shame myself into unworthiness if I really screw up. It happens, and if I take responsibility for my part, I’ll heal. I’ll be free. I can’t take responsibility for someone else’s feelings, reactions, or actions. I can only take responsibility for mine. If I’m sorry and truly wronged someone, you better believe I will take responsibility for it. Even if they never meet me again, I will pay it forward. I am truly grateful each lesson that I get the opportunity to learn from. When I stopped believing in you, the blessings started flowing into my life.

I’m not perfect. Nobody is perfect. The expectation of perfection is a recipe for resentments, and I’m so tired of resentments. I’m tired of staying up all night having conversations in my head with people I will never talk to. I’m tired of carrying around dread and fear that is weighing me down. I’m taking responsibility for taking care of me: body, mind, and soul! There is no space for perfection, just lessons and blessings. It is not either/or. I do mean “and”. If I learn the lesson, it becomes a blessing. That is a perspective that brings me peace. When I’m at peace, I feel joy. When I feel joy, I’m free.  

With Many Blessings and a Whole Lot of Gratitude, 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2018

#LessonsAndBlessings

20 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me

Alignment is the Key

Our outer world perception of reality is a reflection of what is going on inside of us. If we are at war inside, we focus on the war outside. If we want peace outside, but are creating war internally— we attract chaos. Our view of chaos become personal when our inner world doesn’t tell and show us how to look for the peace.

As you take this concept and apply it to any aspect of your life, question:

  • Does what you want outside match how you treating yourself inside?
  • Are you trapped in the chaos within you and seeing it reflected back to you?
  • Are you asking others to treat you differently then you are treating yourself?
  • Are you seeking out the drama around you or the peace?

WHAT YOU ARE FOCUSING YOUR ATTENTION ON OUTSIDE IS A CLUE TO WHERE YOU ARE INSIDE

Healthy attracts healthy. When we think, feel, and believe healthy perspectives of truth, we attract them back to us.

Unhealthy attracts unhealthy. When we think, feel, and believe unhealthy perspectives of truth, we attract them back to us.

In short, if you want to watch the miracles unfold around you, start doing the work within. Start focusing on how you can make your intentions align. Only then will you have the ability to see the miracles in your life.

If you don’t know where to start, write a page of gratitude daily for 90 days. Don’t just be grateful for things that are outside of you. Be grateful for all your working organs, the air you are able to breathe, your limbs that work for you, etc. Get deep! The deeper you go, the more your perspectives of your inner world will shift to create perspectives of truth that will be shown back to you in the reality that you create for yourself.

That’s just the beginning. Once you get a taste, you will get opportunities to go deeper and clear more useless garbage out of your inner world. With that comes a level of clarity, that ignites your soul.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

WE ARE ONLY 3 WEEKS AWAY FROM THE RELEASE OF LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME!!!

This book will give you the tools you need to truly transform your inner world! If you would like other ordering options find them here:

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SNEAK PEEK: Dear Addicted Child (Adult)

A Letter from Chapter 4: Healing and Releasing the Past

Chapter 4 is all about healing and releasing what doesn’t align with the energy we want to be living in. Chapter’s sections are: Everyday Encounters, Media Triggers, Family History, Loved Ones, Personal Traumas, Spirituality, and Self.

The following letter is one I’ve watched many families dealing with addiction go through. Learning to lovingly detach and not enable addicts is not an easy journey. If you have an addicted child in your life, I personally recommend AL-ANON. YOU will NEVER be able to FIX the addict, but YOU can lessen the negative impact the addict has on your life. You can learn to love, show support, and help him/her/them by taking care of you.

Excerpt from LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World by Rachael Wolff

HEALING WITH LOVED ONES…

Dear Addicted Child (Adult), 

I’m sorry that you found your way to addiction. That is a tough path, and once you’re on it, choices feel limited. I had to realize that I can’t rescue you from this. You are on this path for a reason. The best I can do is show you by example that there is a healthier and happier way. I can’t preach it to you. I just have to live my life the best I can and show you what is possible. I will let you know that I love you, but I can’t enable you.  You must be the one who takes back control of your life. I know you are capable. If I keep rescuing you from yourself, I’m telling you that you can’t get better without me. The truth is: You can’t get better if I’m in control. I will just perpetuate the cycle that you aren’t good enough, and you are good enough. When I enable you, all I’m doing is perpetuating the problem. You have to experience your own consequences in order to grow from them. I know you are capable of living a better life, but you have to choose to. I can’t do it for you.

I will be here to love you and to listen, but I know when you are ready to stop, you will be driven to get the help you need. I must see you as the adult you are instead of the child I was responsible for. You are old enough to make your own decisions. Your successes and failures are leading you on your journey. I don’t know what is best for you because I don’t know what you are meant to learn from this path. I love you and hope you will discover you are worth more than you are giving yourself right now. Until you figure that out, you will continue to suffer. No one else can complete you. You are a whole person all by yourself. 

With Acceptance & Love, 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff, LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME: HOW BECOMING AN EMPOWERED WOMAN TRANSFORMS THE WORLD, Mango Publishing (Miami, FL), 2020. Pages 119-120.