90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 73 – Constructing A Self-Care Regimen

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 73: Constructing A Self-Care Regimen

“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings you joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.”

-Jean Shinoda Bolen

In this 90-Day A Better Day Series, I’ve given a lot of suggestions about self-care. We each have to choose what items of self-care resonate with us, because a self-care regimen, routine, or ritual will only work if we are connecting to the process of doing the activity. I don’t know about you, but I’ve tried a lot and I mean a lot of things in my life because people told me it would make me feel better. It could be about how to practice my faith, eating, drinking, dieting, exercising, meditating, mindfulness, positive affirmations, lifestyle, prayer, gratitude, mindset, weight loss, etc. No matter how good something has worked for my life or anyone else’s, you have to come up with your own regimen. No two regimens will ever look exactly the same and not any two people doing them will get the exact same results. As I’ve said before, I don’t expect everyone to do what I did and get the same exact results, because each of us has our own unique journey. Here are a few examples:

  • One person drinks lemon water everyday and it improves their digestive health. Another person may have an adverse reaction from the acid in the lemon and have digestive problems because of it.
  • One person may use nature therapy to help them reach levels of mindfulness and peace within themselves. Another person’s fears may create so much anxiety that triggers fight or flight response.
  • One person does a hard-core exercise routine and she/he feels alive and energized. Another person may not like the feelings that come after that level of exercise, so it doesn’t benefit her/his overall well-being, because that feeling could be their body giving them a signal that that is too much.

A self-care program won’t work if you aren’t invested in doing it or it doesn’t feel right for you. I’ve gone through many regimens and I change them up if I don’t feel the effectiveness of a particular one anymore. What is important is that I give time to self-care. I do my best to trust myself to help me to figure out what I need at any given time, while making sure that my intentions aren’t blocking the results I’m looking to achieve. Numbing ourselves with drugs, alcohol, shopping, gambling, games, social media, binge watching, etc. isn’t apart of self-care. They are contributors to self-destruction. I’m not talking about moderation. There is a difference, and it is a fine line—Self awareness is KEY!

15 Questions to Help You Construct Your Personal Self-Care Regimen

  1. How am I taking care of my connection to my spiritual life and beliefs?
  2. How am I taking care of quieting my mind?
  3. How am I taking care of accepting myself in the mirror?
  4. How am I taking care of my body and organs?
  5. How am I checking in with my perspectives of truth (Days 42-46) to make sure they are working in my life?
  6. How am I showing myself love?
  7. How am I showing myself respect?
  8. How am I investing in my quality time with myself?
  9. How do I feed my mind?
  10. How do I practice presence?
  11. How do I live gratitude?
  12. How do I take care of myself in the presence of other’s darkness (fear, anger, rage, resentment, jealousy, envy)?
  13. How do I take care of myself in the presence of my own darkness (fear, anger, rage, resentment, jealousy, envy)?
  14. How do I take care of myself when I’m feeling depleted?
  15. How do I take care of myself when I’m feeling a lack (loss, grief, disappointment)?

“Self-care is how you take your power back.”

-Lalah Delia

This list can give you ideas of what to implement into your daily routines. Don’t overwhelm yourself with trying to-do a list of things that are all new all at once. Take some things you are already doing and then try a couple new things at a time. If they work for 90 days and you want to add some more, do it. If what you were doing doesn’t seem to fit, try something else. Just don’t beat yourself up if things fall off. Trust that you are getting exactly what you need to get in this moment. When you are open to take on more, you will MAKE the space to fit more in your life. Just keep caring for yourself. Don’t forget how important you are.  Everything in life will run much smoother if we are committed to our self-care.

Today’s Letter from A Better Me in the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 73 – Constructing My Self-Care Regimen will take you through my process of answering all the above questions. I highly suggest writing your own letter to yourself as a way of planting the seed to make sure it takes root.

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 68 – Building Our Home On A Foundation of Love

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 68: Building Our Home On A Foundation of Love

“Every happy home has a foundation of love and a framework of support.”

-Wes Fesler

I think most of us have heard the saying, “Home is where the heart is.” Well our hearts are in our chests. We build our internal houses on a foundation of love or fear. If our foundation is based on loving perspectives of truth, positive self-worth, and a strong definition of love, we can build a home within us. If our foundation is based on fear-based perspectives of truth, poor self-worth, and a definition of love that confuses love with fear, we build shacks that become dilapidated and wonder why they aren’t stable. We covered all that in Part I & II. If you missed it, please feel free to go back and explore the topic further.

How we choose to build our homes will dictate the choices we make and who we allow to come in them. Think of the three little pigs from the fairytale. The three pigs were tortured by the big bad wolf (fear) who threatened to destroy their houses and eat them. How they built their homes were based on their thoughts and perspectives of truth. We want to make sure the perspectives of truth we are choosing to believe will help us to build homes that won’t be destroyed by fearful actions of others or fear itself.

When we build our homes on a foundation of love, we have so much to offer the world. Our gardens are ones that inspire others and our homes are inviting so others don’t feel threatened by all the dark hallways and cobwebs. When we give seeds from the beautiful gardens we’ve grown, people want to plant them in their own. Life becomes this amazing journey of discovery. We can learn new techniques, gather new tools, plant more flowers, change things to make improvements, and enjoy the learning process from interacting with others on their journeys. Some may offer a beautiful new painting or help us to see that our windows were dirty.

When our homes are built on a foundation of love, our minds are open. We are open to receive more, and we have so much more to give without ever feeling depleted. Life becomes the magical adventure it is meant to be. The more we learn from life, the more we will be able to enjoy it.

The next few days, I will be covering what it means to build our homes on a foundation of love. We will cover the structure (our bodies), choosing what we put in our homes (What we love to do), maintenance (Self-care), and creating a beautiful landscape (Gratitude-centered thinking). Then a little later we will cover visitors, protecting our homes from vandals, and helping others to build theirs. We only have 22 more days to go. We better get building!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 68 -Building My Home on a Foundation of Love

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 61 – I’m Ready to Rebuild My Life

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 61: I’m Ready to Rebuild My Life

Dear Self,

The time is now and I’m ready to take my journey a step further and start living it. I’m committing to do the work that it will take to rebuild my life from the place I am now. I’m ready to commit to the work it will take to get me live this journey with love, gratitude, hope and faith. I know that every step I take is an important step on this journey and I don’t want to miss it.

I’m choosing to work smart. I need to be conscious of my priorities so that I may honor them and shift them as necessary to live the life of my choosing. I’M CHOOSING! I’m responsible for the energy I put into my journey. I’m not going to blame anybody else for the energy I’m putting into it. I can choose to let fear-based energy grow and fester, or I can choose to release it and replace it with the energy I want to be going into this day, this moment. I know the energy I choose right now will affect how the lessons on my journey play out. I’m committed to choosing wisely.

I know in order to choose wisely, I have to do the work to maintain this new way of looking at life. I have to make I engage in regular practices using the new thought processes. Otherwise those fear-based ones will creep back in. I’m ready!

I’m committing to be more loving, compassionate and empathetic to myself as I transition out of fear-based actions. I will simply do the best I can and learn from the times that I choose fear over love. There will be no more creating of toxic muck by contributing to self-abuse. I’m ready to transform my life by making the choice to live it!

Let the work begin!

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for my right to choose my energy that I’m letting lead me
  2. I’m grateful for the ability shift from moment to moment .
  3. I’m grateful for making the choice to invest time into the work I need to do in order for my life to be better.
  4. I’m grateful for this journey with all it’s growing and learning.
  5. I’m grateful to feel ready to live my life from a loving place.

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 61 – Rebuilding Our Lives on a Stable Foundation

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 61 – Rebuilding Our Lives on a Stable Foundation

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 61: Rebuilding Our Lives on a Stable Foundation

 “If the house is crooked and crumbling, and the land on which it sits uneven, is it possible to make anything lie straight?”

–Katherine Boo, Behind the Beautiful Foreversp. 254

This quote is where we began on Day 2: Understanding the Journey of Awareness. We spent Part One looking at all our blocks that kept our inner foundation unstable and kept us from being satisfied with the houses we created on the unstable land. Then in Part Two: The Journey of Perspective, we worked on fixing our foundations to make them stable and worthy of building on. We sifted through the fear-based perspectives and replaced them with the energy of love coming from the inside out. Now, we are ready for Part Three: Living the Journey. This is where we take action steps to build on this new foundation and create a house and garden that make us shine. The foundation we are building on now will grow and expand with us. Our houses no longer deteriorate because now we are AWARE of what creates the problems so we are able to fix them at the source before it takes down our house. We can choose to re-model our houses and/or re-frame them as time goes on. We are choosing our changes consciously.

Let’s check some boxes:

  • Awareness our fear-based thinking holding us back
  • Acceptance of our pasts
  • Acceptance of the unknown future
  • Consciousness about the perspectives of truth we are choosing to live by
  • Commitment to live in the energy of love
  • Commitment to live in gratitude
  • Ready to take action

Let’s start the process of rebuilding from our new foundation. Is our land going to be perfect? Not a chance! What we do have is tools to keep it maintained and get rid of any left over toxic muck as is comes up to the surface. Some of our fear-based perspectives of truth are buried deep down and they take longer to surface, but once they do we are ready for it. We are able to process the feelings, work through them and replace the old pattern with something that works better in our lives. Just remember this all takes time. Be patient! Our canvas won’t be complete until we have taken our last breath.

Rebuilding takes work. The more you want to change and shift, the more work you have to put in. No one is forcing you to build your house or create your garden on any time line, but here is the truth of it all. If you don’t do the work and keep up with it, the foundation will become unstable again and anything you try to create on top of toxic land will crumble, fall, and die. Now, when I say work there are instant perspectives of truth that will relate to what work means to you. I’m a believer in working smart. In my perspective working hard has a connotation of fear to it. If I don’t work hard, “I will fail” come into my mind the thought creates stress in my feelings, thoughts, and choices. In this mindset people can become workaholics and can neglect their well-being for the sake of working hard. My method is to work smart. For me, that feels better and causes me less anxiety and stress. It’s good to check-in with yourself on words and concepts to see how they make you feel, because it will affect the energy you put out into the world. If working hard fuels you with the right type of energy to go for it and doesn’t fill you with expectations and attachments related to fear, then use it. Whatever you need to do for you.

During this month we will be building on our foundations built on the energies of faith, hope, gratitude, and love. We will be creating beautiful gardens in our mind and committing to keep working on being the best we can be in each moment we are given.

Living the journey is about letting go of the thinking that keeps us from being present.  We start engaging in the energy that puts us where our feet are. This journey is about embracing the moment we are in, learning to slow down, and taking the steps we need to in order to create a reality that we want to be living in. We can find joy in a single step, hope in the shape of clouds, faith in the energy of Divine love, and gratitude for each breath we are able to take, step we are able to walk, sunset we are see, fruit we are able to taste, and feeling we are able to have. This is a journey about appreciating the moments we are given and letting that energy of gratitude take us into a reality better than we could ever imagine.

Since this section is all about the work, there will be no “Just for Today” section. You choose how much you want a better life and do the work you need to do to get it. If you do the work, your life will change. No one can do it for you. You have to decide.

So, let me ask you—Are you in?

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 61 – I’m Ready to Rebuild My Life