The Importance of Friends: The Journey to Becoming Our Best Selves

I woke up this morning with the overwhelming feeling of gratitude. As I wrote out my gratitude list, a stream of joy began to flow through me as I thought about the amazing people in my life. Tears are filling my eyes with how blessed I feel in this very moment. It got me thinking about the importance of friends. When we are on the journey of becoming our best selves, seeing the purpose of people in our lives is essential to our growth.

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This doesn’t always look pretty. I know there have been times on my journey where I look up, hands in the air and say, “Really?” Different people come into my life in the friendship and/or romantic role and show me so much about myself. I get to see where I still have work to do and where I shine.

Now that I’m a woman in my forties, I can tell you how EXTREMELY grateful I am to know that I’ve surrounded myself with friends who see me and know me well enough to know when something doesn’t feel right about the way I’m talking. If you are a woman going into your mid to late forties, you know exactly what I’m talking about. For those of you who don’t—HORMONES is the answer. I had NO IDEA the kind of things that would stir up in me so uncontrollably at this phase of life.

Recently, my hormones created a whirlwind of chaos in my feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and actions toward a particular relationship in my life. I tried all the tools I could wrap my head around to get out of the thought/feeling cycle running through my brain. When I opened up to a select group of friends about it, I really got to see how blessed I am. I didn’t have people jumping on my chaos driven bandwagon. I had friends who eased my fears helping me to question the toxic thoughts running through my mind. I had friends who reminded me of the tools that I share so many times. I had friends who reminded me of the person they knew in me and in the person I was creating the chaos around. I had friends sharing courage, strength, and hope from their own experiences. Five days from the start of hormone-driven hamster wheel going off in my mind, like hitting a stop button, the whirlwind ended—peace restored.

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I’m so incredibly grateful and blessed to know I’ve picked an amazing group of friends who can recognize when I’m engaged in a story in my mind that is not beneficial to me; A group of friends who doesn’t want to sink down into the muck, but who are willing to lend hands to help pull me up out of it.

Some people think that when you go on this journey, you shouldn’t have down periods, days, or seasons, and that’s simply not true. Sometimes there are days where a fearful story in our heads can take over for a brief time and as we learn and grow the power of the story lessens and the time periods it affects us shorten. When we attract the group and/or single friend to our lives who choose not to go down with us, we know we are on the right track to becoming the best versions of ourselves. The energy that we project out comes from deep inside us and it is reflected back to us in the relationships that we attract into our lives.

If we need a lesson in becoming strong, we may attract people who will teach us when and how to say no, and that is enough. If we see our own worth and we are dedicated to the journey of contributing to living as our best selves, we attract a team of people around us who will help us to see our light and encourage us to keep shining it. Whatever friends are brought to your life, be thankful. You have the opportunity to grow from every experience. There are friends who will be there for short periods and ones who will last a lifetime. Each one has their own unique value. Don’t try force any friendships to be something different than what they are. They are serving the purpose they need to serve. Embrace the journey!

This piece is dedicated to my AMAZING friends.  I love you and I’m so grateful for each and every one of you.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 80 – Living Gratitude in Our Relationships

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 80: Living Gratitude in Our Relationships

“Service and gratitude will fuel your relationship; entitlement and expectation will poison it. “

-Steve Maraboli

Today we are expanding on what I covered in Part II on Day 49 “Gratitude in Our Relationships”. Living gratitude is the next step in the process. Our relationships are our biggest teachers for where we are in our darkness and our light. The longer we are in a relationship with someone, the more he/she gets to see us unmasked. That is why familial relationships and romantic relationships have the opportunity to see the most light (love/abundance) and dark (fear/lack) in us, just like we have a front row seat to see the most of their light and their darkness.

Any relationship we put our identity into the title of that relationship has a better chance of them and us lingering in darkness (Day 77). The best way to bring our relationships into the light is through gratitude. When we sit in gratitude, our focus is on love, abundance, and light. We are seeing the love within ourselves and within them. We are seeing the relationships right now in this moment instead of putting our focus on the past or some unknown future. If our focus is on gratitude, love, and abundance, we project gratitude, love and abundance onto the people we are with. When they feel that coming off of us, if they are healthy, loving individuals it will be reflected back to us.

Side Note: If the individuals are stuck in their darkness, I will be talking about that on Days 81-84, because we are going to have people in our lives who will try to dim our lights, so having tools is extremely important.

We have a choice in our relationships of where to put our focus. If we are constantly focused on everything these relationships don’t offer us, what the individuals aren’t doing, how they aren’t filling our expectations, how being her/himself isn’t enough and/or our own sense of entitlement—We are stuck in our own darkness and lack. We only see in lack if we are there ourselves. When our focus is on love, light, and abundance, we see from a loving place. We project our light. The blessing is when we start focusing on the light in others; their light has the opportunity to shine even brighter. Sometimes our darkness wasn’t dimming their light, it was just blinding us to it because we were stuck in our dark.

Living gratitude in our relationships is path to our authentic joy. Just think of the difference in how you feel when you are focused on the things you love as opposed to the things you hate. How do you feel in your body when you are celebrating the love within you? How do you feel in your body when your energy is in the darkness of hate? Each of those is projecting out of you like an invisible beacon and it is attracting back matching energy. Your light is attracting the light within the people around you. Your darkness is attracting the darkness within the people around you. This is not a judgment. In religious terms, we reap what we sow. We only receive what we already have inside and what we are spreading to others is what will we get back. In ancient religious terms it is the Law of karma, which is defined as a natural and universal law (karma is also used philosophically in many contexts outside of it’s religious roots). In energy terms, it’s the Law of Attraction. No matter what way we choose to look at it, we arrive at the same place. What we put out there is what we will get back.

If you are struggling with your perspectives on the people in your life, and you want to move your darkness out of the way to get a clear picture—Living gratitude in your relationships is the path you want! Living gratitude is the path to an abundant life filled with love and light. We get what we focus on. Our perspective is our super power. We get to choose how we want to use it. Do we want to fuel the light or the darkness? I have a feeling if you are reading this series, or even just this particular day, you were brought here because you are being led to fuel your light.

“Gratitude helps us love well by keeping us focused on the beauty in our relationship and the person we love.”

-M.J. Ryan

Here’s how to get started:

6 Simple Steps to Living Gratitude in Your Relationships

  1. Get out your gratitude journal. Each day, write three things you are grateful for about each individual you are closest to. If you have more in that day, write more. You don’t have to limit your gratitude. FEEL IT!
  2. Write a list of the personality traits you like/love about the people you’ve invited into your life and/or energy field. Be conscious on how focusing your energy here makes you feel.
  3. Write about what this person has taught you about yourself—No matter what you have learned, becoming more aware is a blessing and something to be EXTREMELY grateful for. Once we see ourselves, we have the ability to change, grow, and expand. We can’t do that if we don’t see what holds us back and what launches us forward. Our relationships show us what we need to know about ourselves, and it doesn’t matter if the lesson comes from darkness or light. We projected out the energy to attract the lesson to us. Every lesson we get gives us a chance to move into the light or darkness within ourselves. Being grateful moves us out of any darkness.
  4. Give hugs that last more than 20 seconds when you are sharing your gratitude with a loved one. This may feel odd at first, but it is EXTREMELY beneficial to both of your energy fields. There is this exhale that happens—Feels like a release. It can be very energizing and/or freeing. It’s a hard feeling to explain because it is different for everyone depending on where they are in their own energy.
  5. For every one thing that annoys you about a person, come up with three things that make you grateful about their behavior, choices, who they are, and/or how their actions or words to help you. You can make this fun too. If it makes you laugh, it’s cleansing that toxic energy out of you. Enjoy the process.
  6. Share your gratitude every chance you get! You are not entitled to anything. What a person gives to you is a gift to be grateful for. When you understand and appreciate that, you are living gratitude in your relationships. There is a saying that I love, Expectations are future resentments waiting to happen.

As I’ve said throughout this entire series, you are responsible for your feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, reactions, and responses. You ARE NOT responsible for theirs. Your job is to keep your energy clean and full of light. If deep down inside they want to shine their light too—They will! If they want to be stuck in their own darkness—They will! You don’t need anybody to do anything in order for you to choose living in gratitude with him/her.

Living gratitude is a choice we make for ourselves to see clearly, like I said before if the person is stuck in their own darkness, I will give you tools to protect yourself while continuing to live in love, abundance, and light in the upcoming days.

We have to focus on cleaning up or own energy. Once we do that—MIRACLES HAPPEN! We only recognize them when our energy is in the right place to see them unfold in front of our eyes. I’ve watched relationships completely shift. I’ve seen people come in and others leave. I’ve seen the blessings of Divine timing. I’ve seen relationships on the verge of death be brought back to life. SO MANY BLESSINGS come from living gratitude in our relationships. The question is what do you want your energy to be on lack or abundance? Which one feels better? If you can answer those questions then all you have to do is make the choice to live in that energy! The energy you put in is the energy you will get back. Your relationships deserve the best you. It will help you see the best them. How beautiful is that? We have to want to live here and be willing to put in the work in order to see the blessings that come from living gratitude in our relationships. It really is our choice. Be empowered to do the work you need to do in order to change your life.

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Continue reading “90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 80 – Living Gratitude in Our Relationships”

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 73 – Constructing My Self-Care Regimen

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 73: Constructing My Self-Care Regimen

Dear Self,

I’m taking the time to construct my self-care regimen by going through what I use to help me in different areas of my life. Once I’ve done this, I will figure out how to make time for the tools on a daily basis to continuously help me appreciate and improve my life and my relationships with others.

  1. How am I taking care of my connection to my spiritual life and beliefs? I take time to connect everyday with my gratitude with prayer, gratitude lists, free writing, letter writing, meditation, listening to music, and/or embracing nature. I also connect to other’s in my spiritual community.
  2. How am I taking care of quieting my mind? I use meditation, yoga, nature, breathing exercises, mindfulness meditations, get enough sleep, listen to instrumental or chanting music, and/or practicing presence
  3. How am I taking care of accepting myself in the mirror? I use positive self-talk, affirmations, letter writing, and/or gratitude for what my body does for me.
  4. How am I taking care of my body and organs? I get enough sleep, yoga, dance, walking, drinking lemon water in the morning, water throughout the day, drinking fruit/vegetable smoothies, eating nutritious foods, occasional cleanses, and/or quieting my mind to listen to what my body needs. I also write love letters to my body for loving me and taking care of me on my journey.
  5. How am I checking in with my perspectives of truth (Days 42-46) to make sure they are working in my life? If a perspectives cause me pain, worry, anxiety, depression, fight or flight response, rage, and/or vengefulness, I question what I believe and come up with different ways I can think about the situation. I write letters to help me write new stories. Then I practice applying new perspectives of truth that bring me more peace.
  6. How am I showing myself love? I practice self-care regularly, do things I love to do, get enough sleep, practice positive self-talk, give myself quality time, write myself letters, and take care of my body, mind, and soul.
  7. How am I showing myself respect? I take care of my mind, body, and spiritual self. I have healthy boundaries with others. I honor the person I am. I do the best I can in each moment. I put the oxygen mask on myself first, then I assist others.I take time to breathe. I write myself letters.
  8. How am I investing in my quality time with myself? I go for walks in nature, watch sunsets, write from my heart, do yoga, read, and/or dance.
  9. How do I feed my mind? I read, research, solve puzzles, come up with creative solutions, talk to people who believe differently than I do, and/or try to understand something I didn’t before.
  10. How do I practice presence? I meditate, focus on spots in nature, actively listen to the people I’m with, enjoy what I’m doing, practice mindfulness, or live gratitude.
  11. How do I live gratitude? Write gratitude lists, practice seeing gratitude in day-to-day activities, use gratitude in challenging situations, look to nature with gratitude, look at the love in my life,nd/or meditate with a guided meditation focused on gratitude.
  12. How do I take care of myself in the presence of other’s darkness (fear, anger, rage, resentment, jealousy, envy)? I remind myself, I don’t have to engage in the energy that they are. I take space to strengthen my own energy. I pray for protection from their dark energy. I pray for them to find some light. I pray for guidance in how I communicate with the person if I have to. I take deep breaths to stay calm and peaceful. I laugh with friends. I write letters that I don’t send to properly process what is going on inside of me.
  13. How do I take care of myself in the presence of my own darkness (fear, anger, rage, resentment, jealousy, envy)? I pray, write in my gratitude journal, take deep breaths, practice mindfulness to quiet my mind, write letters of encouragement to myself,  walk, and/or DANCE.
  14. How do I take care of myself when I’m feeling depleted? I get rest, quiet my mind, do yoga, write something inspirational, write letters, sit outside, make time to play, and/or spend time laughing with friends.
  15. How do I take care of myself when I’m feeling a lack (loss, grief, disappointment)? Write down as many things I can be grateful for as possible! I question the perspectives of truth I’m engaging in and I write out as many positive perspectives I can look at instead. I write letters about how I’m abundant in my life. I focus on love instead of grief, opening doors instead of closing ones, and change instead of stagnation. I also pray and work to connect with Source energy.

With this list, I will take the items that can be used to handle multiple areas and work them into my daily self-care regimen. I will look at where I use some of the tools to take care other items on the list and be conscious of where my head is to see how I can best serve myself in the moment. I know I have the tools to live my best life.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful that I have the tools to live my best life.
  2. I’m grateful for my realization of how to better manage my self-care.
  3. I’m grateful for having the time to invest in my own care.
  4. I’m grateful for my ability to help others when I’m taking care of myself.
  5. I’m grateful for how I feel when I take care of myself.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Side note: This letter is not edited intentionally. This list isn’t about being grammatically correct; it’s about just writing out tools however they come out. You can add to sections, delete, and add some more. You want to see the overlap in what you can do on a daily basis to handle multiple items of self-care. Those are the ones you want to implement first.

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 73 – Constructing A Self-Care Regimen

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 71 – Living Gratitude

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 71: Living Gratitude

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living EVERY minute with love, grace, and gratitude.”

-Denis Waitley

Living gratitude is it! It is the way we’ve dreamed of living without ever knowing it. Living gratitude is about taking anything we are given, any challenge, any illness, any trauma, any joy, and any relationship, and any material item and finding the blessings and appreciation for the experience, person and/or thing. When we live gratitude our energy shifts and creates more room for receiving and giving. The blessings are countless when we live gratitude on a daily basis.

I’ve spoken a lot about gratitude throughout this 90-Day A Better Me Series. If you’ve been keeping up with the series and started the gratitude journal that was brought up in Part II, you are already seeing shifts in your life. If you have started being grateful for your body like was mentioned on Day 69, just connecting to the material is you planting the seed, however much you nurture that seed is an indicator of how it will grow. I see gratitude like the sprawling banyan tree. If you want the tree to drop roots and spread, you make sure the energy isn’t getting going to areas that will make the treetop heavy and not sprawl. You clean up some of the heavy weight up top so the tree will drop down roots and spread.  Soon the tree will be so big that is will take over. You have to MAKE space!

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Each day since writing the gratitude section in Part II, I’ve been adding 5 things to be grateful for in the 90-Day A Better Letters Series. I know the power of gratitude! Once we learn to start focusing on gratitude on a regular basis it becomes easier and easier. I can sometimes write pages of gratitude in just one day. The more I live gratitude, the happier I AM. Writing it down helps us to keep our minds focusing on putting our energy into the right place, but living gratitude is what happens after we can write pages of things to be grateful for daily.

Living gratitude is making the choice in each moment to see gratitude. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten angry about something, then I thank God for showing me the areas of myself that I need to give attention to. I’m grateful for my mistakes. I’m grateful for others who show me their dark side, because it shows me where mine is. I’m grateful for the person who cut me off, because not hitting him meant that I was paying attention. I’m grateful for the person going slow in front of me, because it shows me where my head is. This doesn’t mean I 100% of the time react perfectly, it means I learn from my reactions and I’m grateful for the learning experience.

The beauty of living gratitude is what happens to those things in our lives that bring us joy—They EXPAND! The joy in our hearts fills us to the brim with AWE! Tears pour out of our eyes we are so full. We’ve made space for magic, abundance, blessings, learning, and Divine Energy to work in our lives.

It is not my business how anyone practices their spirituality as I’ve said before, but nothing makes me feel more connected to the Divine as living gratitude does. I feel like I’m connecting on a level of energy that is extremely pure and authentic. I feel God’s love running through me and I can feel my light shining out into the world.

Living gratitude lights our paths for us. We can see clearly when our energy is functioning on a higher level. We aren’t blinded by our own darkness. We are grateful for our dark and our ability to shine light in any dark corner we still have.

How Start Living Gratitude

  1. Start by writing in a gratitude journal daily. No, it’s not enough to just think it. Write as much as you can think of each day. Some days may have five things and other days you may find a hundred things, just take the time and really put your energy behind what you are writing.
  2. Practice living gratitude with whatever is challenging you. This is fun. It can be in traffic, in your relationships, in your job, etc. Just practice gratitude until you are literally laughing out loud at what you are coming up with.
  3. Share your gratitude with others. Make sure you are letting anyone who touches your life know how grateful you are. This can be fun to do with wait staff, cashiers, customer service reps, family, friends, and romantic partners. Just watching how your gratitude affects others is a truly amazing thing. Remember some people who work at toll booths, subways, trains, airlines, customer service, etc., may not hear that people are grateful for their service all-day long. Your gratitude can make a huge difference.
  4. Write down your experiences of showing gratitude. How did showing gratitude affect you and the people you showed it to? Did you notice if that person’s attitude shifted and affected the next person they dealt with? The more details, feelings, and passion you can add, the better! Connecting to the experience helps our brains to put more focus on that area.

Following these steps will help you start living gratitude, but if you don’t do the work, don’t expect the results. I hear people tell me time and time again that they want their lives to be different, but then they don’t do the work so they end up falling into the same unhealthy patterns. The only way to break the old unhealthy patterns is to create new ones to fill the space. That means we have to decide where we want to put our energy and commit to the life we want. Gratitude is the path to a life filled with abundance. There is no lack in gratitude. We always have everything we need right in this moment. Living gratitude is about embracing that.

Challenges are still going to happen and often it’s what knocks people off of the gratitude path. We get a taste of how good it gets, then a challenge comes up and we say, living gratitude obviously doesn’t work for me. The good stuff is practice for the challenges. If we stay the course, and stay open to learning from our challenges, we find the blessings. The chaos and drama periods of our lives become shorter and shorter, not always because the circumstances change— We change!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 71 -Living Gratitude In My Daily Life

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 70 – Doing What I Love

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 70: Doing What I Love

Dear Self,

You are just as important as all of the people I serve, so I’m honoring our journey by committing to do things I love daily. I want move through life with the energy of doing what I love to do. I know that by doing this, I will manifest more of what I love and will attract others around me who share my passions. There is no good reason not to spend time doing what I love to do daily. I know I might not be able to everything I love in one day, but I will commit to doing something I love EVERYDAY!

Here is a list of things I love doing:

  • Dancing to music with positive messages
  • Writing
  • Walking around the lake to look at the birds gathering at the island at the center of the lake
  • Nature walks and hiking off-trail
  • Going to the dog beach with my dog
  • Laughing
  • Yoga
  • Quality time with my family
  • Quality time with my friends
  • Quiet time to meditate and quiet my brain
  • Helping others discover their best selves
  • Eating flavorful foods
  • Spending Time Communicating with the Divine

With this list there is no excuses!  I can even add more things I love, because as I engage in this energy, more space will open up. I know if I don’t make time for doing the things I love, it’s because I’m not on my priority list and when I’m not on my priority list, things fall through the cracks. So, why not? I deserve my own time! The people I love deserve me to be operating as the best version of myself too.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful that I can MAKE time to do the things I love.
  2. I’m grateful for the energy I feel when I’m doing the things I love.
  3. I’m grateful for the joy that I feel when get to share my love with others.
  4. I’m grateful for today as an opportunity to do what I love to do.
  5. I’m grateful when I notice when it’s a good time to do what I love.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Are you doing what you love? 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 70 – Doing What We Love

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 62 – Clearing Space to Re-Create Our Lives

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 62: Clearing Space to Re-Create Our Lives

“The most important choice you make is what you choose to make important.”

-Michael Neill

We make room for what is important. Our priorities are how we dictate the time we are willing to commit to something. We have to decide how much this journey means to us. How important is living a quality life? Our words don’t mean anything, and our actions mean EVERYTHING when it comes to what we are willing to give to our journeys. There is no room for excuses. If you can’t make the time, you are saying creating the time not your priority.

“Telling yourself that you don’t have enough time for something is a lousy excuse because you NEVER ‘have’ time, you MAKE time!”

-James Malinchak

No more excuses! We have to be willing to MAKE the time re-create our lives or else we are saying, it’s not our priority. For me writing this 90-Day A Better Me Series has been an amazing experience about creating the time for my writing. I used to make excuses that I didn’t have the time to write EVERYDAY. Well, I’ve been writing two pieces or more for 62 days now. This series was important to me, so I made the time. I know how much focusing on this material does to improve my life. I’ve noticed huge differences in how quick I process through different challenges. I’ve also noticed all the blessings that have come with focusing my energy here. Since the gratitude section in Part Two, I’ve even implemented using the gratitude in my daily Letters from A Better Me portion of the series. Making the time to implement that has created so much more space for more things to be grateful for and it has been an AMAZING process even when I’ve had some interesting challenges in the midst of it all.

“Don’t waste your breath proclaiming what’s really important to you. How you spend your time says it all.”

-Eric Zorn

Clearing space to re-create our lives is a choice. A choice only we can make. Only we know whether or not we are ready to make the choice towards love or fear. If you are like me and you’re working on creating a peaceful inner world to contribute to a more peaceful outer world or you have been trying the same thing over and over and nothing is working to help you to find joy in the life your living, well clearing the space is an essential step.

We have to make room for the changes we want to see. This means we have to commit daily time to living our journey and doing the work required to transform our lives.

  • Where can you fit you into your schedule?
  • How important is it for you to be in your schedule?

If you want to change anything in your life, then you better move yourself to the top of your priority list. I’m always amazed how I am able to clear space for the things that matter to me and how much I can get done when I stop telling myself I don’t have the time. Being in our heads sucks up our energy to do the work that needs to be done in order to create the lives we want for ourselves.

If living our journeys is important, we MAKE the time!

The miracle that comes with this practice is once we put ourselves on the top of the priority list, things start shifting opening up space. This can be a little strange, because it may mean someone you spend regular time on moves out of your life, or plans change and get cancelled, or something like an accident on the highway slows us down, but these are all opportunities to make the time to our own journeys. What are you going to do with that time? Our energy can create miracles or blocks. Make sure the energy you are putting out is going to the right place.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 62 -I’m MAKING the Time to CREATE the Life I WANT Today!

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 61 – Rebuilding Our Lives on a Stable Foundation

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 61: Rebuilding Our Lives on a Stable Foundation

 “If the house is crooked and crumbling, and the land on which it sits uneven, is it possible to make anything lie straight?”

–Katherine Boo, Behind the Beautiful Foreversp. 254

This quote is where we began on Day 2: Understanding the Journey of Awareness. We spent Part One looking at all our blocks that kept our inner foundation unstable and kept us from being satisfied with the houses we created on the unstable land. Then in Part Two: The Journey of Perspective, we worked on fixing our foundations to make them stable and worthy of building on. We sifted through the fear-based perspectives and replaced them with the energy of love coming from the inside out. Now, we are ready for Part Three: Living the Journey. This is where we take action steps to build on this new foundation and create a house and garden that make us shine. The foundation we are building on now will grow and expand with us. Our houses no longer deteriorate because now we are AWARE of what creates the problems so we are able to fix them at the source before it takes down our house. We can choose to re-model our houses and/or re-frame them as time goes on. We are choosing our changes consciously.

Let’s check some boxes:

  • Awareness our fear-based thinking holding us back
  • Acceptance of our pasts
  • Acceptance of the unknown future
  • Consciousness about the perspectives of truth we are choosing to live by
  • Commitment to live in the energy of love
  • Commitment to live in gratitude
  • Ready to take action

Let’s start the process of rebuilding from our new foundation. Is our land going to be perfect? Not a chance! What we do have is tools to keep it maintained and get rid of any left over toxic muck as is comes up to the surface. Some of our fear-based perspectives of truth are buried deep down and they take longer to surface, but once they do we are ready for it. We are able to process the feelings, work through them and replace the old pattern with something that works better in our lives. Just remember this all takes time. Be patient! Our canvas won’t be complete until we have taken our last breath.

Rebuilding takes work. The more you want to change and shift, the more work you have to put in. No one is forcing you to build your house or create your garden on any time line, but here is the truth of it all. If you don’t do the work and keep up with it, the foundation will become unstable again and anything you try to create on top of toxic land will crumble, fall, and die. Now, when I say work there are instant perspectives of truth that will relate to what work means to you. I’m a believer in working smart. In my perspective working hard has a connotation of fear to it. If I don’t work hard, “I will fail” come into my mind the thought creates stress in my feelings, thoughts, and choices. In this mindset people can become workaholics and can neglect their well-being for the sake of working hard. My method is to work smart. For me, that feels better and causes me less anxiety and stress. It’s good to check-in with yourself on words and concepts to see how they make you feel, because it will affect the energy you put out into the world. If working hard fuels you with the right type of energy to go for it and doesn’t fill you with expectations and attachments related to fear, then use it. Whatever you need to do for you.

During this month we will be building on our foundations built on the energies of faith, hope, gratitude, and love. We will be creating beautiful gardens in our mind and committing to keep working on being the best we can be in each moment we are given.

Living the journey is about letting go of the thinking that keeps us from being present.  We start engaging in the energy that puts us where our feet are. This journey is about embracing the moment we are in, learning to slow down, and taking the steps we need to in order to create a reality that we want to be living in. We can find joy in a single step, hope in the shape of clouds, faith in the energy of Divine love, and gratitude for each breath we are able to take, step we are able to walk, sunset we are see, fruit we are able to taste, and feeling we are able to have. This is a journey about appreciating the moments we are given and letting that energy of gratitude take us into a reality better than we could ever imagine.

Since this section is all about the work, there will be no “Just for Today” section. You choose how much you want a better life and do the work you need to do to get it. If you do the work, your life will change. No one can do it for you. You have to decide.

So, let me ask you—Are you in?

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 61 – I’m Ready to Rebuild My Life

 

 

 

Stop Comparing and Start Living!

Have you ever caught yourself thinking or saying, “Well, if I had their life, I could…?” I know I have. I used to give myself that excuse. I have also heard people use my life as their excuse. There is something we are not looking at inside if we are being critical or comparing on the outside. The negative energy that comes from thinking we are better or less than others is destroying our ability to create an amazing life for ourself and others.  We have become a society driven by this kind of thinking. That is part of the reason celebrities lives are under a microscope 24/7. We have been trained to pick apart other people’s lives. We somehow lost the vision to see that they are no different than us, not better or worse. We all make mistakes and have triumphs. We are ALL humans.

A while back I used to be consumed with celerity news. I would sit and read all the magazines that had dirt on people. Somehow, it would make me feel like my life wasn’t that bad. What I forgot is that there was a person behind the story. A person trying to live a their life. They are talented and get money for their talent, but does that give me the right to sit back and judge every aspect of their personal life. I can’t even begin to imagine living that life. Celebrities are the easiest example of this, but they are not the only example. If we feel our insides stirring with negativity at the other people’s chaos or successes, there is a battle going on inside from an old wound never healed.

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We are all people projects and in the dawn of reality TV, the worldwide web, and social media, we are all open to facing the joys and failures of the world. I simply ask that we do not forget that there are people attached to any story being told. Most times we don’t know all the circumstances and we definitely don’t know what a person’s life is really like outside the limited information we are usually being told. Is it worth comparing your life to theirs or bringing in more negativity energy into the situation?

Instead of being a quick to judge society, lets put our energy towards living our lives the best we can. One of the ways we can contribute is by not jumping into the pool of negative energy that comes with attacking others, instead asking ourselves:

  • Why does this bother me so much?
  • What inside me is triggered?
  • Why am I contributing to the negative energy around this situation?
  • Is this really about the situation in front of me or is it an experience I haven’t dealt with in my past?
  • Is  the way I’m thinking of this person’s actions worth interrupting my inner peace?
  • How can I put a better energy into the situation?
  • What internal blocks are holding me back from living the life I want to be living?

We are all individuals doing the best we can. What if we slowed down enough to try to understand humans again?  I’ve been caught up in a negative energy that I want no part of, and I’m trying to vocalize my weakness in order to raise my awareness in all the times my focus is not where it best serves myself, my children, my loved ones, and humanity.

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When I serve humanity by being compassionate, sharing loving ideas, and being solution minded, my struggles have been worth the pain I felt. The weight of experiencing severe trauma is lifted from my soul. I don’t want to be a part of system that thrives on tearing someone else down. That system contributed to my personal pain, I want to stop it from spreading.

I cried many tears after seeing how cruel people can be to others.  Recently, I’ve seen people being personally attacked for having an opinion and trying to live their best life. Reading comments on people’s posts has been so eye opening. I know that the people who are attacking others are hurting more than I could possibly understand. I know they are doing what they do because they are projecting out their darkest thoughts about themselves. So seeing the attacks hurts on a multitude of levels.

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I hope I never forget that there is person out there who is hurting. I commit to sending all parties involved love and hope that they do not let the negative energy define them. By not comparing and judging other people’s paths, I’m contributing to living my best life. This is the life I want to live.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

A special thank you to all the people who follow FromALovingPlace.com and Facebook.com/FromALovingPlace. I’m so happy you’ve decided to come on this journey with me. Wishing you all the best from a VERY loving place.