90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 85 – Giving People Tools to Build From A Loving Place

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 85: Giving People Tools to Build From A Loving Place

“Creativity is the person-centered process of imagining possibilities and taking embodied expressive action to make your ideas real.”

-Marta Davidovich Ockuly, PhD, 2019

On this 90-Day A Better Mejourney we have covered a lot of ground. We have looked at what holds us back (Part I), what launches us forward (Part II), and now we are well into living the journey (Part III). In these final days of the journey we will be covering how to consciously project love (light), engage in what we stand for, embracing what we manifest, being the change, and leading by example.  There is one tool very important tool you will need to engage if you want the best results and to completely submerge into life as a better you—CREATIVITY!

Take in the definition of creativity above given by Dr. Davidovich Ockuly. REALLY take it in. If you have any thoughts or perspectives of truth within you that tells you that you aren’t a creative person, read this definition again and again. YOU ARE CREATIVE! Each of us has a purpose where we need our creativity to shine through in order to bring our purpose into fruition. We make our soul’s purpose come alive when we engage in our creativity.

When we block our creativity with beliefs such as, I’m not a creative person. We sabotage our gifts; we create unnecessary blocks for ourselves. We conjure a struggle where their doesn’t need to be one. We are creative. We were made creative. We just need to find our own unique creativity. When we do that—

We find our power! We use creativity to better our lives and give others seeds to better theirs on a daily basis. What we do may not be a piece of fine art, a best-selling book, viral memes or videos, mind-blowing photography, a jaw-dropping performance, and/or an award-winning garden. We use creative to project and manifest AWE in our lives. The work is engaging in our creativity.

If we want to give people tools to build from a loving place, we not only have to be creative, we have to inspire the creativity within them. We don’t know what someone else’s creative path is, but what we do know is if we help others see themselves clearly, we are giving them the tools to go within and see their gifts. Here’s an example: I’ve read countless books, gone to thousands of workshops and classes, had many challenging life experiences, practiced spirituality and religion, and experimented with using my creative mind in all kinds of way. I needed to do all those things to create the 90-Day A Better Me Series. I had no idea when I started my blog that I would be led to write this. It just kept unfolding, because I trusted the process. I was open to the possibility of giving others tools to live better. I had to go through the process to see the possibilities in order to write everything that has come to me.

When we engage our creativity our minds are open. When we suppress our creativity our minds close. We don’t see possibility. If we don’t see possibility we are stuck in the cycle of insanity. When we are open—WE LEARN, GROW, AND EXPAND. When we do that, we have the ability to give people tools to build from a loving place.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

P.S. I wanted to give my former professor, Dr. Marta Davidovich Ockuly, a special thank you for this beautiful definition of creativity. Thank-you for being who you are and creating what you do. You are an inspiration.

Today’s Letter from A Better Me: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 85- Using My Creativity to Help People Find Their Tools to Build From A Loving Place

 

 

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90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 83 – Taking Responsibility for Inviting Dark Energy into Our Internal Homes

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 83: Taking Responsibility for Inviting the Dark Energy into Our Internal Homes

“I think we are all advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door at 4 A.M. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends.”

-Joan Didion

We are the only ones who can invite dark toxic energy into our internal homes. We are the only ones who can turn our homes into dilapidated shacks by not taking care of them. No one is to blame for how we feel inside of us, but we are responsible. The outside world may take away choices from specific situations and we may be led down some paths that our mere physical survival is a miracle—Inside we have choices. We can write whatever story we want about our internal lives. We can connect and/or disconnect to any perspective of truth, story, feeling, and/or thought. We just have to be open enough to see that inside us is where true freedom lies.

In Part II, I wrote about accepting our pasts and releasing the unknown future. The more we can get into the NOW, the less likely that those stories from the past and the attachments to some unknown future will be used to tear apart our internal homes. Trauma therapy uses techniques to help detach a person from the story of their trauma. This doesn’t mean the trauma didn’t happen, but the story of it is what keeps it hurting us now even if the actual trauma happened decades ago.

When we let these stories live inside of us, we are living within a dilapidated shack that needs a re-model to make it the internal home of our dreams. The problem is when our internal world has a dilapidated shack at the center of it; we invite dark and toxic energy into our internal world on a regular basis. We actually are comfortable in that energy because that is where we internally live. We attract people in the physical world who will bring us the energy we feed on to comfortably live within our internal worlds. If we are attached to an internal world filled with chaos, we attract chaos. If we are attached to an internal world filled with fear, shame, blame, guilt, shame, judgment, hate, and vengeance—YOU GOT IT! The Universe will give you what you are asking by what you are projecting out. If your words to the Universe don’t match what is going on inside of you, what is going on inside of you will trump any words you speak. The darkness we invite in is our teacher for some VERY important lessons.

We are responsible for any darkness in our internal homes or dilapidated shacks. Every home will have dark spots, but if we are willing to see them, shine the light on them, and clean up that area where the darkness touched—WE HEAL!  We learn the lesson the teacher brought us. We get better! We strengthen the light within us.

Part of the process to being a better me is being able to see our own darkness with clarity. Our darkness has a beautiful purpose. It can serve us if we are willing to look at it instead of letting it grow, fester, and spread. When we attract someone to our lives that shows us our internal chaos, we have the opportunity to clean up our own darkness. We can’t assign this cleanup, remodel, and/or gut job to anybody else. If we want to change, we have to take the responsibility to look at ourselves when presented by the darkness in our physical world. If we are attaching to it, we bring it inside of us and we’ve invited it in.

6 Steps to Transforming the Darkness within Our Internal Homes

  1. Recognize the dark energy festering inside of you that was triggered by an outside source (person, animal, event, object, etc.). How are you responsible for inviting this energy in? What about this outside source created your own darkness to stir up inside of you? What about this source are you attaching to?
  2. See thought options that can shine light on your darkness. Don’t focus on changing your thoughts here, just look at your options of thoughts. What thoughts could bring peace, calm, joy, compassion, empathy, trust, faith, hope, freedom, positivity, purpose, etc. to the dark room in your home? These are your cleanup products and tools to help you fix-up any space the darkness affected. Once you know your options…
  3. Choose an action to help you turn your light on. The light switch can be prayer, dance, meditation, yoga, conscious breathing, mindfulness practices, walking, consciously exploring nature, and the list goes on and on. Many of these tools have been mentioned throughout the series.
  4. Spot the toxic waste left behind from past darkness. Be careful because toxic waste can be tricky to handle. It likes to spread poison within our homes making the structure weak. Like mold, it can hide inside our walls. The more open we are to let the darkness pass through us, the more we will be able to see any toxic spots that are trying to linger, fester, grow and spread. These are those deep belief systems (perspectives of truth) that are latching on to keep the dark thoughts that were triggered alive. The thoughts that were triggered are exposing some of the toxins left behind from long ago they show themselves as entitlement, envy, greed, sloth, vengeance, cruelty, victimhood, and rage—Just to name a few. All of these are derivatives of FEAR.
  5. START CLEANING! You see it; now clean it up with the products and tools you’ve been given. The more you get these toxic energies cleaned out, the closer you get to living and leading a purpose-filled life with a deep connection to your Divine source. Your light gets brighter the more you clean out.
  6. Be grateful for what the dark energy within you exposed. Be grateful for the teacher and the lesson. Now, the old you might have sunk into the depths of shame and guilt when you invited dark energy into your home. You might have contributed to making rooms darker and turning off more lights to the point where things around you began to fall apart and crumble. The better you has the opportunity to grow and expand from the exposed darkness. You have learned how to shine your light effectively into your home and find the secrets hidden in the walls. This is something to be EXTREMELY grateful for.

We now can create an even better space than we had before. We took responsibility for our mess and cleaned it up! So embrace the darkness and what it shows us. Fighting it and/or numbing it (addictions) will only make it stronger. We want to learn from what it has to show us. We want it to help us spot the areas we need to clean up and re-purpose. You have all the products and tools you need in this very moment. The more you use the tools you already have, the more that will become available to you in order to grow and expand from the place you are.

If you are reading this piece separately, I invite you to go back and see what you’ve missed in the series. The 90-Day A Better Me Series is like a puzzle. You want to have all the pieces to see the whole picture. Here’s a quick link to the category so that you can go back and explore what you’ve missed: https://fromalovingplace.com/category/90-day-a-better-me-series/

For best results: I suggest reading the series all the way through. You may find that by doing this you are led to people, places, and/or things that open up new doors and pathways to lead you to be living a purpose-filled life—Miracles abound! You just have to take the journey and trust that at this moment, you are exactly where you are meant to be.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s Letter from A Better Me: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 83 – Taking Responsibility for Inviting the Dark Energy into My Internal Home

 

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90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 62 -I’m MAKING the Time to CREATE the Life I WANT Today!

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 62: I’m MAKING the Time to CREATE the Life I WANT Today!

Dear Universe,

I’m making the time to create the life I want today. I trust you Universe to provide the space to help me take care of my energy and give me the time to do the things I need to do in order to work on me. I will commit specific times to do something to contribute to practices that will help me keep my energy in the best place possible. I will trust that if I need more time than what I’m giving myself that you will create the space for me.

I know that I can make the most of each moment I have or use up my energy complaining about not having time. That moment is time I have to do something different. I can choose to be grateful in that moment in time instead of being in a place of lack of time. I’m making more space as my mind is open to be creative with the energy I’m putting out there.

I’m choosing to the twists and turns of life as opportunities for me to commit my time to making the most out of the moment by seeing what I can learn and how I can grow. I’m making the time to create the life I want. Even right now, I’m choosing to write this letter to help me stay in the space of my growth and expansion. I could be choosing to watch TV or be on social media, but in this moment, this is what I made the time to do. I feel great about my decision.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for the miracle of space and time.
  2. I’m grateful for the choices I can make to give me more time.
  3. I’m grateful to the Universe that helps find me the time I need.
  4. I’m grateful to my perspectives of truth for allowing me to grow and expand.
  5. I’m grateful for the people who are brought into my life who inspire me to live my best life.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 62 – Clearing Space to Re-Create Our Lives

 

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90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 55 – How I Honor the Person I Am

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 55: How I Honor the Person I Am

Dear Self,

With every step of the self-discovery process, I gain clarity. I’m bringing attention to how I honor the person I am. I’m choosing to be accountable for the choices I’m making. This list is to help keep my energy on the level that feels good on the inside, so that I’m conscious of what I’m sending out into the world.

  • I’m aware of what happens to my energy when I project out fear, shame, blame, judgment, self-abuse, and living in the past and the future do to my lack of self-worth. I know that when I’m in a healthy place, I don’t take my fears out on others. I treat others with the same love and respect that I treat myself. I know my value and worth so I treat myself with the love and respect I deserve. I show myself love and respect by treating my body right, treating my thoughts compassionately, and giving myself the time I deserve to nurture any feelings that come up that I need time to work through. I also won’t expect anybody to give me more quality time than I give myself.
  • I’m accountable for my feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, and reactions. I am going to have feelings that feel good and ones that don’t. I’m responsible for the choices I make no matter what I’m feeling. My joy comes from within and so does my sadness. I will accept all my feelings because I know they are there to teach me something about the choices I’m making. I know I’m responsible for my thoughts, because there is always a different way I can choose to look at things. I am accountable for my perspectives of truth because they are the doorways to any path I choose. Finally, my actions and reactions are influenced by the way I’m perceiving reality. I am responsible for all the choices I make. Other people are responsible for their choices. If someone chooses to be unkind to me, that’s their business. My business is the energy I choose to put out towards them.
  • I’m very clear on the differences between love and fear. My definition of love leaves no room for cruelty under any circumstances. When I’m operating from a place of fear, I’m not capable of acting/reacting from a loving place. I will react from a place of fear, which leads to confusion and chaos within my mind, body, and soul. Feelings that come from fear, shame, blame, judgment, guilt, rage, hate, vengeance, insecurities, and/or lack of worth are not representing the love within me. It is important for me to watch these feelings as they come up so that I find a way to let love transcend them. My definition of love is:

“Love is patient; Love is kind; Love is NOT envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; It is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice in Wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” -Corinthians 13.4-13.7

  • I’m in complete acceptance that my past is over. The best thing I can do is learn from my experiences and let anything that keeps me stuck in my own darkness go. I want to be conscious to see warning signs and spot kindheartedness without confusing the two. I’m focused on healing any energy I have tied to unhealthy pieces of my past in regards to people, places, and things. I’m responsible for the negative energy I’m holding inside me and I don’t want to take old feelings out on unsuspecting people. I’m also letting go of my attachments to the unknown future. I can have goals, but it is my job to take the actions I need to take today to be the best version of me in this moment. I will leave my future open for the twists and turns so that I can enjoy the journey on this beautiful scenic route.  I’m going to be with people when I’m with them so that I can know with clarity that they are treating me the way I treat myself. I won’t put my head in the future ignoring the signs of the care for myself and others in the moment.
  • I want to be hold perspectives of truth led by love. I want to live my life from a loving place. It is my responsibility to look at my feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, and reactions to make sure they are aligned with how I want to be living.
  • I have chosen perspectives of truth that support me becoming the best version of me. My perspectives reflect living life with an abundance of love for myself and others. I choose to follow the Divine Creator’s path of love to salvation. I choose to see individuals and find connections through our capacity to love. I choose to trust that everything happens for a reason, and that every lesson comes with its blessings. I choose to share my life openly without fear, so that I give myself the opportunity connect with other loving souls. I choose to believe that whatever I feel about myself reflects out to create my reality. I choose to believe we are all students and teachers and each life has value whether life ends in the womb or at an old age. People are here as long as they are meant to be to fulfill their Divine Contract to serve humanity. Some will serve through their darkness and others through their light. I choose to believe anything that has the ability to bring out our compassion, love, empathy, humanity, and connection has authentic value.
  • I’m choosing to live in gratitude and abundance. The more I choose gratitude, the more abundant I feel. I know that I’m reflecting what I feel inside, so gratitude helps me manifest more of what I’m appreciating in my life.
  • How I’m treating myself is reflecting the way I want to be treated by others. I know that I can’t expect people to treat me better than I’m treating myself, so I’m making sure I put the time and energy to me that I deserve. I know I’m responsible for the energy that is coming back to me. If I don’t like what I’m getting, I need to check in with me to see what dark areas of myself I’m still feeding. I need to make sure that I’m showing myself that I’m deserving of time, energy, nurturing, and love.
  • My intention is to live life from a loving place and appreciate each day for the blessings that it gives me.
  • My intention in giving is to assist people uncover the best versions of themselves. I want to help others find the perspectives of truths that will bring the most love and peace into their lives. I want to serve humanity from a loving place. My intention is to increase the light shining in the world.
  • I love myself more than I ever have before. I truly believe that the more I love myself the more I’m able to connect with God’s love for me. When I see me through the eyes of love, I’m connecting deeper with the Divine, because I’m connecting through the light I was created with. The more solid I am in my own self-love, the more love I have to give and connect to others with.
  • I’m right here and right now. I want to enjoy the journey of life. I want to see each step and each miracle as it unfolds before me. When I’m not where my feet are I try to get a touch stone in nature to look at to bring me back to the moment I’m in, because when I’m not in the present, I get stressed. That is not where I want to be.
  • I’m open to try new things as they are presented to me on my path. I trust the Universe when I get signs to talk to people, read things, watch things, or do things. I want to live this life knowing I made the most out of every moment, so I’m open to learn, try, and explore life beyond my comfort zone.

Knowing these things about myself helps me enjoy my journey and be more conscious of what I’m learning.

Today I’m grateful

  1. I’m grateful for the breeze that reminded me to return to the present moment
  2. I’m grateful for the loving energy I feel from the people who I love
  3. I’m grateful for the silence on my first walk with my dog in the morning
  4. I’m grateful for today for giving me a chance to see more love in the world
  5. I’m grateful for my life’s journey

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

The list from this letter comes from today’s exercise in the 90-Day A Better Me Series. You can check it out below:

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 55 – Clarity in Self Discovery

 

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90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 16 – Perpetuating the Blame Cycle

Part I: A Journey of Awareness

What Holds Us Back: The Unstable Foundation

Day 16: Perpetuating the Blame Cycle

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”

-Robert Anthony

It’s interesting to watch how we get caught in acts of blaming and shaming because of our expectations of others, sometimes without knowing anything about the person. In a second we can forget that the person we are talking about is somebody’s daughter, son, brothers, sister, husband, wife, mother, father, boss, employee, and the list goes on. We forget the people we are throwing blame at are human too. We forget to ask ourselves how would we feel if someone smeared our mistakes all over the place before we had a chance to even see the error of our ways? Sometimes, we can be so quick to pounce we don’t even give the person a chance to exhale an apology if they saw their own mistake instantly. Sometimes we forget how it is when our emotions are leading us and we don’t ALWAYS say or do what is in the best interest for ourselves or someone else. We forget that the person who made the mistake could be innocent of the intention that we put on their actions. Anytime we reach out without the whole view of the story, and throw shame and blame out there, we are perpetuating the cycle.

Does this mean that people who intentionally hurt others should get off the hook and not be held responsible for their choices, which endanger the life or lives of others? Of course not! Not only is it necessary, but sometimes our own self-care means standing up for ourselves and others to prevent these kinds of things from happening to someone else. If our act is one of protecting ourselves and others, that feels good. We don’t have to bash, shame, and blame, in order to do that. Stating facts isn’t shaming or blaming.

I will tell you from personal experience, I once had to write out a testimony to prove why a person was a danger to society. I didn’t get into all the emotions about why I thought they were a danger, and I was VERY emotionally tied to the situation. I simply listed facts and incidents that proved that he was a danger. The courts responded by protecting the innocent people who were involved. I didn’t feel bad about anything I wrote, because I wrote facts. I didn’t say, lock him up and throw away the key. He is an evil human being who doesn’t deserve air. I wrote down things that were about him having to take responsibility for his actions. I know a person has to be filled with fear, shame, judgment, and hate to hurt someone. Healthy people don’t seek to hurt someone else. Perpetuating blame cycles hurts more than just people. It hurts learning institutions, governments, corporations, environments, countries, and the entire global economy.

Perpetuating blame keeps us from finding healthy solutions that are best for ourselves and the majority. Instead, we focus on blame and we think it benefits a minority of people. Then we blame those people for getting us to where we are, the cycle grows and expands until we find ourselves in a constant state of internal and external war. We can’t escape! We keep seeing it everywhere we turn, because if we are engaging in it, we are supporting the energy of it. Yesterday, I spoke about how even self-blame is part of this toxic cycle. We just keep perpetuating and focusing on all the wrong places and to what avail?

Even take something simple like sporting events, getting so worked up about what people did or didn’t do, blaming them for a failure of a play. We are watching from the outside! We are not in their situation. They can’t see what we see. They have a small view of the situation. Everything is easier to see when you have a view of the whole picture. None of us have the whole view of life and of the circumstances leading up to the event happening in front of our eyes. We are looking through a straw in our own life; we can’t possibly know how we would react until all the cards are in place. We can’t expect others to either.

Each of us have a choice to stay in the energy of blame if we want to. If we choose blame, we will stay victims to other people’s actions and we will continue to attract more of what we are putting out there according to the Law of Attraction. Then according to Karma we will get back whatever we put out. So between the two of them, we will feel like we have to be ready to fight. We will attract people and situations where people are ready to fight too. They might even be disguised in beautiful packages. This energy leaks into great causes everyday by focusing more on what the cause is against than what it is for. Seeing this in the world always reminds me of the quote by Mother Teresa:

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Projecting blame comes from deep inside of us. We have to deal with our own issues of self-blame before we can project out the love we want to see in the world. Otherwise, our own toxic cycle emanates from us even when we are attempting to spread love. We can’t fix what’s outside us first and then expect that to fix our insides. That is us blaming our outside for how we feel inside, once again perpetuating the blame cycle.

I’m not writing this 90-Day A Better Me Series to force anybody to change what they believe. I just know that these are the transformations that I’ve made over the years that have changed my life. Becoming aware of my perspectives of truth, accepting responsibility for what is going on inside of me, and taking action with the vision of the life I want in my heart; have led me to follow my dreams. I’ve met the most amazing teachers and been able to assist others in seeing their best selves. I have support and love all around me. The rewards of living this life have been endless. Even when the hard stuff comes, it doesn’t break me down like it once did. The pain that used to last months and sometimes years, has worked it’s way down for few hours or at most a couple days. We each get to choose if we are ready to let go of what is causing us to live a life full of internal pain and suffering, but until we clean up our internal world, our external world will continue to be a place that will bring us suffering and we will continue to blame what is going on outside of us for what we are feeling inside…the blame cycle will continue to have power over our lives.

Just for Today

Get a straw or something that has a hole the size of a standard straw. You can even make it with our hands if you don’t have anything. Look up close or print out the two the two spheres below. If you are looking at the center of the fear sphere, what do you see? If you are looking inside the hope sphere, what do you see? If we only have a straw view of our own lives, where do you want to focus your energy?

image2

image1

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff  ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 16 – How I’m Perpetuating the Blame Cycle

Keep following along, things are about to hit the core of why blame is so dangerous.

 

If your ready to move your straw to the center of Hope, Join me:

35-DAY A BETTER ME BOOT CAMP

 

 

 

 

Rachael Wolff3 Comments