90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 54 – Empowering the Person in the Mirror

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 54: Empowering the Person in the Mirror

“You have a belief about what is beautiful and what is ugly, and if you don’t like yourself, you can change your belief and your life will change.”

-Don Miguel Ruiz

If we want to feel true empowerment, we have to strip down all those layers of titles we’ve defined ourselves by. We have to let go of the titles we’ve been given to by others and look deep into the mirror and see the power of the soul within ourselves. We limit our power by naming ourselves through a series of titles. Titles are and were created by humans.  Our power is limitless. Our definition of who we are is only thing that can stand in our way of shining to our full capacity.

That being said, I don’t mean for you to go around and yell at people for putting you in a category. When we act out in anger and fear because of how someone else is defining us, we aren’t expanding our empowerment onto them. We are creating them to put up their dark defensive walls to protect themselves from the darkness we are spreading. What matters is that we aren’t defining ourselves through the categories people check off for us. If they are defining us by a title that is led by their fear, we don’t have to engage in ours. We do have choices on how not to let their darkness dampen our light. We have to know from the inside that we are bigger than any category. When we truly know that, someone else’s title doesn’t have the ability to hurt us. We are empowered when we are spreading our light!

When we don’t fight categories and titles we can see that they can help lead people to our lives. They can help lead people who aren’t healthy for us away from our lives too. They are just not the embodiment of who we are. If we define ourselves by them we can limit how bright we can shine our lights. We can let darkness come in and defend the title in an, US AGAINST THEMwar. See any patterns here? We can see people fighting for their titles of race, gender, religion, political affiliation, region, along with titles like mother, father, son, daughter, rich, poor, etc. We also see people fighting against other people’s titles, but as I talked about earlier in the series, seeing people as groups and categories keeps us from seeing the individual we lose our humanity and we don’t see theirs. You can look anywhere around you and see evidence of this perspective of truth.

We are only as empowered as the love we project from inside of us. That is why I’ve spent the last few days covering our worth and our value. We can only shine as bright as we allow ourselves to shine. This is not about being self-centered. This is about being able to give from a full bucket that is constantly self-filling. This is about putting the oxygen masks on ourselves first so we can thrive while helping others.

I’ve seen a lot of amazing causes fail and people burn out because they were driving themselves by fear. They felt like the anger was empowering them. When we fight darkness with more darkness, we only create more. It just moves. We may feel the fight or flight reaction and choose the fight. The energy from that burns out and can have lasting long-term effects on our bodies and our minds. We open ourselves up to so much pain that we can’t tell the difference between love and fear. We can and do make this choice on a regular basis. We can choose to be and do better! We have to find clarity in who we are and what we stand for so that when are standing up for the oppressed, victims, and ill, we are serving them with the energy we want to see more of—LOVE! When we are serving causes from a place of fear, rage, anger, and revenge we miss giving opportunities for the people who might have been ignorant of wrongdoing to grow. NOBODY is perfect and we are all learning, when we go in with our guns blazing, we enter into our darkness. We can’t fix others until we are willing to look at and empower ourselves. The more aware we are of how we CHOOSE to live moment to moment, the more empowered we are to represent ourselves and our causes in a loving way.

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In order to empower the person in the mirror to spread more light into the world, we have to empower her/him with more light within. We have to turn our internal dimmer switches up. We have to start asking the right questions to ourselves when we are faced with our and other people’s darkness:

  • How are my feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions contributing to the light (love) or the dark  (fear) in this situation?
  • Am I speaking in away that will encourage communication (light) or put up defenses (dark) to those who don’t have the same perspectives of truth as I do?
  • Am I coming at this situation from a loving place representing what I stand for (love) or a fearful place representing what I’m against (fear)?
  • Am I trying to encourage people to see other perspectives of truth (light) or force my beliefs down a person’s throat because I believe my way is the ONLY right way (dark)?
  • Am I trying to understand where other people are coming from through their perspectives of truth (love) or am I closing myself off to possibilities of looking at the situation from a different perspective (fear)?

When I don’t know how to not fight AGAINST something I don’t like, I wait. I work through the fear, anger, rage, and resentment. Then I look at how I can approach the situation from a loving place that will open up conversations so both sides can feel heard which opens the door to come up with solutions. Do I always get the solution I was hoping for? No, and I may need to work through my feelings about that, but when I acted from a place of love I don’t have all the residual fear-based thoughts about regretting things I said, or realizing I wasn’t considering someone else’s opportunity for growth. Even if my answer is to walk away from the person or situation, I can feel good about the choice I made. I can know that I passed a seed to a beautiful flower, plant, or tree. What they do with that seed is up to them? Feeling empowered from within the energy of light launches us forward in such miraculous ways.

“Self-worth comes from one thing—thinking that you are worthy.”

-Wayne Dyer

Just for Today

When you engage with others be aware of how bright you are choosing to shine your light. If someone disagrees with you, take a second. Question how much light you can choose to shine on the situation. Then try out some different ways to introduce more light to challenges of your day. This can be in traffic, stores, work, home, etc. Remember you are learning, this is not about doing it perfectly, it’s about be open to try something new.

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In Part III (Days 61-90), I will talk a lot more about action steps. For now, we are working on understanding our perspectives of truth and creating shifts to open them up to empower us at a soul level. This is where we take control of our own dimmer switches and choose to turn the light up to see the magnificent souls we are.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 54 – I AM Empowered

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 52 – I See My Value

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 52: I See My Value

Dear Universe,

I AM! Yes, I AM and that is enough to make me valuable. I AM complete in this very moment. I can finally see my value in being exactly where I am and how I am right now. I don’t have to be any more or any less than what I am right now to give my life value. When I do my best, learn from life’s lessons and share who I am with others, I am walking a path to shine my light brighter. That is what I’m choosing to do with my life, but that doesn’t determine my value.

The color of my skin, gender I am, way I look, things I have, money I make, relationships that succeed/fail, skills I acquire, and career path don’t define my value! With or without any of these details about my journey, I AM VALUABLE to this life.

I get to choose if my value comes from my light or my dark. Am I going to use love or fear to teach and be taught? Am I going to contribute to lessons that light (love) has to offer the world or the lessons that darkness (fear) has to offer the world? Which path I choose is up to me.

I’m choosing to spread as much love that I can. I’m choosing to give from a loving place. I want to learn from the dark parts of me how to create more love from the lessons I’ve learned from fear. I want to turn up my dimmer switch to shine brighter.

I see my value and I’m choosing to make the most of it by investing time in making me the best version of myself that I can be. I want to give to the world from that place. I want to give to the world from my sense of value and worth. I want to shine the light within me as bright as I can, so that I can help others see their own light.

I see the value in my darkness too. It is apart of me. It is a part of how I learn to be and do better. It is apart of my journey. At my times of darkness, my value is still there. My value can be in what my darkness is teaching others and what it’s teaching me. My value doesn’t fluctuate based on whether I’m feeling good our bad about myself. The only thing that changes is my ability to see it because of how much light or darkness I’m covering it with. I have the choice to be in the dark or in the light at any time. Whichever one I choose has valuable lessons on this journey of life.

My prayer

Please help me to see my value even in my darkness. Please help me to see the lessons and the ways to add light when I’m stuck. I know I’m connected to you when I choose to live in my light. The brighter I shine my light, the more I feel connected. Please help me honor that connection by accepting and loving myself exactly how I am. I know you made me with your love, please help me find ways to live in the light that created me in.

Today I’m Grateful 

  1. I’m so grateful for the gift of life
  2.  I’m so grateful for my ability to shine as bright as I choose to
  3. I’m grateful for all the chances I get to bring more love into the world
  4. I’m so incredibly grateful for the lessons that teach me the value of my life
  5. I’m grateful I AM!

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 52 – Seeing Our Own Value

Thank you to those following this journey with me. If you haven’t joined the 90-Day A Better Me Seriesand 90-Day A Better Me Letters Seriesjourneys, let’s turn our dimmer switches up together. I hope you will come on this transformative journey with us. No cost and no sign-up. All you need is an open mind and commitment of time to invest in becoming the best version of yourself. Just go to the Home page and explore.

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 52 – Seeing Our Own Value

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 52: Seeing Our Own Value

“Self respect, self worth and self love, all start with self. Stop looking outside of yourself for value.”

– Rob Liano

When we expect others, careers, skills, and/or circumstances to define our value, we are looking outside of ourselves. We start believing perspectives of truth that tells us:

  • Having this relationship makes me valuable
  • Having this career makes me valuable
  • Having this skill makes me valuable
  • Having this circumstance makes me valuable

We can enjoy having those things in our life when we are there, but if we strap our identities and value to having them, we become unstable. This is why so many people have the feeling of losing themselves after losing a job. This is why people struggle to fine meaning after they can’t perform a skill that they felt defined them. These outside things can bring out our darkness when we attach to them. We FEAR the death of who we are if we lose them. We don’t know who to be without them. Dark energies like fear, shame, guilt, hate, revenge, rage, entitlement, jealousy, etc. come from attaching to what’s outside of us.

We are 100% worthy and valuable of the air we breathe right here and now exactly as we are. We are 100% worthy and valuable even at the height of our challenges to find our way in the world. We are 100% worthy and valuable no matter what darkness and/or light we carry within us. Nobody outside of us needs to see our value and worth to live an AMAZING life—Only we do.

I may have a meaningful relationship fail. I may be in an abusive relationship. I may get fired/laid off from a job unexpectedly. I may be a surgeon then break my hand. I may be wealthy then lose all my money. My lesson is what does the journey have to teach me about who I am. How am I able to see myself being reflected back to me, and how can I fix any darkness I’m feeling within me. This doesn’t mean that we won’t grieve the losses of the people/things we care about. The more we are connected to our positive self-worth, the clearer the lines are of the grief. If we put our identity into a loss, we are grieving the loss of the illusion of an identity. That takes a lot more work to sort through than the loss of something or someone we know is outside of us. Many people have confused this to the point of taking their own lives because they didn’t see their inner value and worth.

We can get so attached to what is outside of us that we give no time to looking inside us. We avoid looking through all the things I talked about in Part I of the 90-Day A Better Me Series. It’s time to change that!

  • What qualities do you have that make your soul shine?
  • What light do you bring to the world?
  • What is your capacity to love?
  • How can you expand that?

“The frequency of your Light depends upon your consciousness. When you shift the level of your consciousness, you shift the frequency of your light.”

-Gary Zukav

We project out the amount of light (love-fueled energy) we have inside of us. Think of a room with a dimmer switch. The greatest amount of love is the light shining at full capacity using the full amount of energy, but this light doesn’t drain energy, it creates more energy. How we value ourselves is controlling that dimmer switch. I’m going to project this much light, so that is the amount that will come back…Law of Attraction. When we raise our value switch, our light get brighter, it makes the room brighter. It then attracts people who are attracted to that brightness and it deters people who can’t handle that level of bright. I’ve been watching how this works in my life and the lives of others around me. It always fascinates me how increasing our light shifts what is going on around us. The brighter we shine from the inside the less attachments we get to things outside of us. The “stuff” just doesn’t have the same effect on our lives like it did before.

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Our value is already within us. We just have to open our eyes to see it. We may need to change the lens we are looking through to get a better view, but it’s there, waiting to be discovered.  We have to stop denying ourselves the time, so that we give ourselves the attention we need. We have to question why we put other people’s value above our own. No one is more or less worthy and valuable than we are. We can learn from those who are driven by their darkness, which gives their life value and worth. They are actually great teachers in the importance of seeing our value own value and not putting value in the outside stuff that in the end doesn’t matter. Those outside people and circumstances can teach us the value in being present instead of attaching to some unknown future. The more we can see that our pain and struggles are a part of our growth, not a hindrance to it—WE THRIVE!

In the end, our value lies in one simple statement—I AM! That is the complete statement of value. We are here. We are living. We are experiencing this journey of life. We are learning from our choices of feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions. We are ever changing and shifting being driven by the light and/or the darkness within us. Embrace the person you are! You are having the exact experiences you need in this life to fulfill your purpose in this life. We simply choose whether we will fulfill it through our light or through our dark. Our quality of the life we live is up to us. The VALUE of our life is there. The question is…

Are you ready to turn up your dimmer switch and bring more loving energy into yourself and into the world?

Just for Today

Make time to do something nurturing for yourself. Show yourself that you are valuable and worthy of your own time and attention! If you can’t think of things you can do: Imagine your ideal perfect relationship. What would you want someone to do to show you that you are valuable to him/her? Come up with a list. What on that list can you do for yourself to show you that you are valuable to yourself? Never expect anyone give more to you than you are willing to give to yourself. You are the example others are following.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s Letter from A Better Me is 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 52 – I See My Value. Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 47 – Commitment to Practice Gratitude

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 47: Commitment to Practice Gratitude

Dear Self,

I’ve seen how crazy I’ve made my life by putting my focus in the wrong places. My perspective of thinking the worst of people, being constantly let down by the actions of others, blaming, shaming, and judging were all symptoms of a much larger problem. I was living in the perspective of lack.  I felt lack, I thought in terms of lack, I acted out of lack, and I reacted from a place of lack. I projected lack, manifested lack, and I reflected more lack back into my life. I got a lack of respect, lack of good friends, lack of money, lack of people who care, lack of support, lack of compassion, lack of positive circumstances, lack of appreciation, etc. When I realized what I was doing and accepted the consequences of my choices by seeing how chaotic my life had become, I realized that I had a choice to do things differently.

Though, I’m finding myself with more to be grateful for now, I’m committing to gratitude in a bigger way. I’m not going to just think about it in passing thoughts. I’m fully committing to focusing on gratitude. Everyday, I’m committing to write a list of at least five things I’m grateful for. My challenge to myself is not repeating the same items within the week. My first goal is to do this for 45-days straight.

There is so much good happening within my life, in nature, and around the world. I want to really start actively engaging in the mission to see more good. I want my energy aligned with the life I want to be living.

Day 1 of committing to my gratitude practice:

  1. I’m so incredibly grateful for the vibrant colors found in nature
  2. I’m so happy and grateful to have a family who loves and supports me
  3. I’m grateful to have positive people in my life
  4. I’m so grateful for the ability to improve my life by a change in thought
  5. I’m grateful for the oxygen producing trees

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

Don’t forget to read today’s installment from the 90-Day A Better Me Series90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 47 – The Sturdy Foundation of Gratitude

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 47 – The Sturdy Foundation of Gratitude

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 47: The Sturdy Foundation of Gratitude

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, and a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

-Melody Beattie

YES! YES! YES! The sturdy foundation of gratitude is enough withstand any storm. Gratitude can light up any dark corner within us. Gratitude is the foundation we can build the life of our dreams on. When we live with gratitude for our past and present, we manifest a life full of abundance that make our souls sing. This is the space of miracles.

The quickest way to close the door on our path of the inner victim is through gratitude. When we can learn to replace every dark thought with one of gratitude we start retraining and rewiring our brains to see life through different lens. We no longer will live in lack. We choose to be abundant with a grateful heart. It doesn’t matter how anyone else views our lives when we live in gratitude.

When we decide to add gratitude to our foundations the world looks different from every angle. We become grateful for the lessons we learned. We’re grateful for the experiences that taught us what we want and what we don’t want in our lives. We’re grateful for the love we have given and the love we receive. We’re grateful for the kindness of strangers. We’re grateful for the trees swaying in the wind and the ducks swimming in the pond. We are grateful for each breath of oxygen we are able to inhale. We become grateful for the Earth for giving us a home.

When we live in gratitude things in our lives begin to shift. We start taking care of ourselves, our relationships, our land, our communities, our planet, and our energy. The world around us changes because we changed. We won’t see life the same as someone who is committed to living life from a place of fear, victimhood, revenge, hate, rage, and resentment.

Think of these perspectives and decide which one feels better:

  • I’m so broke, I can barely get by / I’m grateful for what bills I can pay
  • I can’t believe this guy ran into my car / I’m grateful that we are alive
  • I’m going to be so late because of all this traffic / I’m grateful I have a way to get me to the appointment
  • I’m never going to be able to finish on time / I’m grateful for every minute I have to finish
  • My friends are assholes for cancelling on me / I’m grateful for time to do something for myself.
  • Why is this happening to me? / I’m grateful for the opportunity to learn from this situation
  • My body suck / I’m grateful to have a functioning body to serve my needs
  • The narcissist in my life destroyed me / I’m so grateful for the lessons I learned about myself being with a narcissist. He/she really taught me the importance of taking care of my self-worth, self-esteem, and self-love.

“Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses.”

-Alphonse Karr

How we view every circumstance is up to us. NO ONE can make us be grateful or make us be the victim of our lives. We choose the perspectives of truth we want to follow. If we want to live our best life, we have to choose the best view. The view of life through the perspective of gratitude is the best view in the house.

The shift to gratitude takes work and dedication. We have to make a commitment to re-train our brains to focus on gratitude. It may seem silly at first because it will feel unnatural to be grateful for things we once chose to bitch about. Here are a few fun ones:

  • I’m so grateful for being cut off because it showed me what an aware driver I am.
  • I’m so grateful for the rude cashier because it gave me the opportunity to be kind to someone in pain.
  • I’m so grateful for the customer who treated me like an equal human being.
  • I’m so grateful for the neighbor who yelled at me because it made me look at the person I am and be grateful for the life I have.

Gratitude can bring light to absolutely ANY situation. When I’m in a bad mood about something, I will write the most absurd gratitude lists and will just start cracking myself up at all the things I can come up with. I’m always amazed at how quickly it can shift my mood. Gratitude is the tool I depend on most to get me out of any funk/situation that I’m letting suck the energy out of me. Gratitude is my path back to sanity. When we can be grateful for the stuff that used to create chaos in our lives, we REALLY learn to appreciate the things that bring us love, joy, peace, happiness, and tranquility.

Just for Today

Commit to the path of gratitude. How can you implement gratitude into your life daily? Can you find ten things a day to be grateful for? How many will you commit to writing down? Will you start a notebook, computer file, or a gratitude app on your phone?

Here’s a challenge for readers who really want to see a real transformation in your lives: Start writing 5 things to be grateful for EVERY day for the remainder of this 90-Day A Better Me Series. Are you up for the challenge?

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 47 – Commitment to Practice Gratitude

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 46 – Perspectives of Truth to Empower My Life

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 46: Perspectives of Truth to Empower My Life

Dear Universe,

I’m choosing perspectives of truth that empower me to live my best life. The perspectives I’m choosing fuel me to be the best version of myself possible. Through these choices I feel a deeper connection to my spiritual purpose and the Creator of life and love. These perspectives enhance the care I give to myself and the care I give to others. They enrich my experiences of receiving from others as I’m encouraged by them to feel immense gratitude. The perspective I’m choosing help me to contribute to other’s lives from an authentic place. Here are some of the perspectives of truth I’m inviting into my life:

  • My self-care is important and essential. When I give myself the love I deserve, my expectations of others lessens. I’m able to love others authentically because I’m not expecting them to fill a void that I have within me. However much I love myself is the amount of love I will be able to give and receive to/from the people around me. By giving myself the love I deserve, I will not put myself in situations that aren’t healthy for me, because my boundaries will be clear and my senses for what feels right and what doesn’t will be heightened. I will be able to recognize genuine love and caring because I give it to myself.
  • I am a whole and complete person all by myself. I can choose to share the person I am with someone else, but we are each responsible for the light or darkness that we each project out. My feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions are my responsibility. We are individuals. We each have our own paths. We are choosing to experience our individual paths together. I can and will be a complete person without any other specific person in my life. No one else is responsible for how I choose to view my life. People will be in my life as long as they are meant to be there.
  • My physical body is here to teach me how important it is for me to take care of myself. When I’m treating my body with respect and love it will function the way it needs to in order to take me on whatever path I’m meant to travel with it. By loving my body exactly as it is helps me to accept reality exactly as it is, and work with my perceptions to make sure I’m living the best life I can.
  • I am empowered to live my life however I want to! I’m responsible for my feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions. How I choose to perceive people, places, and things is up to me. NO ONE forces me how to react to her/his actions. I make the best choices I can during any given moment. My choices teach me how to live a better life. I see how I want and don’t want to live through every choice I make. It is nobody else’s fault that I make the choices I do. I’m FULLY empowered to live my best life!
  • When I’m feeling really low, I’m ready for a breakthrough! There is no hitting bottom, just the point where I’m ready to break through new barriers of thoughts that I once let hold me back. My tears are cleansing my soul preparing it for a new way of thinking that will be more beneficial to my growth spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
  • How others treat and think of me isn’t personal and it’s none of my business. I’m the lead character in my own story. How they view me is their version of me, not who I am. They see me through their own perspectives of life whether they are filled with love or fear. I see them through my perspectives, so it is my responsibility to take care of my feelings, thoughts, actions and reactions according to my own perspectives of truth. I need to be honest with myself about how I feel when interacting with others. I have to pay attention to the energy I’m putting into the exchanges. That is my business.
  • Everyone has his or her own journey. I can’t make anyone else feel, think, act, or react according to my perspectives. No matter how much love or fear I contribute, their feeling, thoughts, actions, and reactions are still their choice. They have the lessons they are meant to have for a reason. It is not my job to enable a person or tell someone else how to live his/her life. I simply share my experiences with love, so they get a seed. What they do with the seed I give them is their business.
  • Light attracts light. Dark attracts Dark. When I’m choosing to live in light, I will attract more light into my life. I will attract whatever energy I’m putting out there from the deepest parts of me. If I attract challenging lessons to my life it’s my responsibility to investigate what I’m putting out there. How am I treating myself? Is there darkness in my interpretations of what is happening? How am I feeling?
  • Living life from a loving place is the path to salvation. The more I can choose love the closer I get to living an enlightened life. I want my light to shine as brightly as it can before my journey here is complete. I will choose to follow others who serve this life from a loving place. I will do my best to shine light on any dark places I encounter within myself so that my light grows brighter and brighter.
  • Life is a classroom. I’m here on this planet to learn, guide, and teach. As long as I’m taking breath I have the opportunity to learn to live better and fuller. I’m grateful for my triumphs and my challenges. I’m grateful for all the things I’ve learned from my joys as much as I am for the things I’ve learned from my pains. I have the exact life I’m meant to have. I’m in the exact vessel I’m meant to be in. I’m taking the exact journey I’m meant to take. What I do with the lessons I get is my choice. I get to choose whether I feel around in the dark or embrace the light within me. I have the ability to shine light on ANY lesson I’m given or walk on my path in darkness. I will learn, guide, and/or teach from light or dark with every choice I make.

 

I know as time goes on my perspectives of truth will shift as I travel this path. I welcome change and expansion. I’m so incredibly grateful for the choices I have.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

Did you read today’s installment of the 90-Day A Better Me Series90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 46 – Finding Perspectives of Truth to Empower Our Lives

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 42 – Making the Choice to BE OPEN

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

 

Day 42: Making the Choice to BE OPEN

Dear Self,

I’m making the choice to BE OPEN! I have a lot of beliefs that have been holding me back from the life I want to be living. I’m ready to see other perspectives to help me figure out what works and what doesn’t in my life.

I’m making the choice to see things differently. I’m choosing to widen my understanding and smooth down my sharp edges. I no longer need those protective layers I used hide the best parts of myself from the world. I’m ready to move beyond my fears.

I’m making the choice to be open to new possibilities. I’m no longer going to give my power to choose away. I see that everything that I put out into the world is a choice. I see that the way I treat myself is a choice. In order to better my life I need to make some new choices.

My prayers now include being open in order to gain perspective on my views of myself, others, life, and death. I’m also praying to get a better understanding of all my relationships and the lessons they have to teach me.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 42 – The Smooth Edges of Perspective

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 42 – The Smooth Edges of Perspective

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

 

Day 42: The Smooth Edges of Perspective

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

-Wayne Dyer

When we think about a foundation, we want it smooth. We want to make sure our foundation works with what we set on top of it. Smooth edges lessen potential for instability and injury. They open up the possibilities to do more without the worry of the structure we create crumbling. Perspective helps us to spot the darkness and appreciate the light. Perspectives are the directions to get out of the boxes we create for ourselves. The more open we are, the smoother our edges are. This means what others do won’t trigger us. We understand that it is their stuff so it slides off of us instead of us absorbing their stuff like it is our own.

Perspective allows our minds to expand and see more. If we see more, we can create more. If we truly want to be on this journey of perspective and be able to see what will launch us forward—we have to OPEN OUR MINDS! The answers are often beyond the reach of where our old beliefs take us. We have to be ready look at ourselves deeper. We are projecting out what is inside of us. If we don’t like the way our life looks, we have to get real with ourselves. No more protecting ourselves with defense mechanisms built on a foundation of our fears (PART I). The sharp edges have wounded us and our relationships for long enough. It’s time to smooth down our edges so we can see with clarity our ability to move forward—PERSPECTIVE!

On day 41, we tackled one of the biggest beliefs that can keep people in their toxic patterns—The victim role. We have to be willing to release and let go our inner victims for us to even begin to open our perspectives. We have to be able to see that we have choices about how we want to live our lives no matter what our circumstances. We have to be ready to shine our own light on our dark corners so we can clear out the cobwebs, get rid of the hazardous waste, eliminate the threats from our sharp edges, and be able to re-build. You have to know that the power is in your hands to change the trajectory of your life. No one can make us make the choice. Each of us has to come to it when we’re ready.

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It can be an overwhelming process to invite perspective into your life when you’ve been living life in fear. This is a one-step at a time process. You are not just going to open the door and see this perfect utopia. We have to undo a lot of past damage, and that will come off in layers. I haven’t talked too much in the series about faith, but this is when we need to have faith in the process. Every step we take will have blessings, but some will be hidden in the dark corners. Finding perspectives that keep our faith lighting the way is part of the journey. We are literally in the beginning stages of re-wiring our brains to behave differently. Be Patient with yourself!

Once we’ve opened this door, things will shift.  Some things may even seem to get worse before they get better. Sometimes we are holding onto beliefs so tight that we will have to grieve them; even if the beliefs were keeping us in our own private hell.  There was a sense of familiarity about them. Most times it’s because the beliefs that came from our childhood or after a trauma. They served as protective layers, yet they were really keeping the light out.

Think about how rocks in the ocean become smooth or the process of using a rock tumbler. It takes friction to smooth the edges. If you’ve been with me on this journey since the beginning, I’m sure you have felt some already in Part I. Part I takes you through the rock tumbler process very quickly, but if you know anything about the process, it takes time. Be patient with yourself. The process has taken me years, thousands of books, courses, personal guides, therapy, spiritual practices, meditations, exercises, healings, and so much more to give me the ability to live my life according to the perspectives I have now. I’m trying to streamline the process for others, but it doesn’t mean that it won’t take a lot of work if you really want to get the most out of it. For some, my work may be the first opening into this world. For others, it may be a step on the journey.

I will talk about perspectives that feel right for you and others perspectives that won’t, and with clarity you feel the power in chooses what works and what doesn’t without judgment. It’s an AMAZING feeling. You will see more about that in the days to come. Be open! As we begin to really dig in and learn about ourselves, we will see more and more choices appear.

Just for Today

Write a letter to yourself committing to be open to the process. You can see today’s Letter from A Better Me “Making the Choice to BE OPEN” that will be posted later today for inspiration.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 42 – Making the Choice to BE OPEN

If you want to read the 90-Day A Better Me Series from the beginning you can scroll down to the “Categories” section and find the 90-Day A Better Me Series. You can also find it all conveniently on Twitter too.

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 40 – Projecting Acceptance

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 40: Projecting Acceptance

“A compassionate heart can engage evil directly—it can bring Light where there was no light.”

-Gary Zukav

I love projecting acceptance, but it is only possible once we accept the past (Day 37), become secure in the present (Day 38), and welcome the unknown (Day 39). We have to live it in order to project it.

When we project acceptance; compassion, empathy, love, and light energies are leading our feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions. Zukav says above, “ A compassionate heart can engage evil directly…” We are adding light to the darkness. We aren’t there insisting on our own way, fighting reality, and fighting darkness with more darkness, we see beyond the events and face evil with our hearts.

This doesn’t excuse people’s poor choices, we bring light to them. If people don’t have a psychological illness that keeps them from experiencing light, they have the ability to add light to their dark. We allow them space to process their feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions and give them seeds to add light by giving them the opportunity to take responsibility for them. We give them the opportunity to learn out of love, not from the fear of the consequences of their actions. An apology that comes from fear of the consequences isn’t a true apology and carries people’s darkness, not their light. That is why we can tell if an apology is genuine when we are in tune with the energy acceptance. By projecting acceptance we don’t feel the need to attack others. We know when to add our light directly and/or from a distance.

Side Note: Just in case you haven’t been keeping up with the series, dark energies include fear, shame, blame, judgment, hate, revenge, etc. Light energies include love, joy, compassion, empathy, trust, personal responsibility, self-love, loving actions, etc. 

When we project acceptance we attract a variety of people to learn from and/or give seeds to. We attract leaders who inspire us because with acceptance we open our doors to learning. We are no longer closed off by fear. We are led to people, books, videos, seminars, churches, groups, and gatherings that inspire us to be more accepting. We naturally distance ourselves from dark energies that no longer serve us. This may mean people walk away, we stop watching certain shows, we stop going to particular places, etc.  We are more aware of when we are being faced with individuals who are being led by fear. My favorite part is their energy no longer has power over us. We accept the person being where she or he is. We no longer have to be affected by the darkness she/he is projecting. We don’t try to force them to change; we change to move with our energy. What they do with themselves is their business. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?

I’ve experienced multiple encounters where before I would have easily got sucked into someone else’s fearful energy. But now I can say, “I’m sorry that you are living in that fear. I choose not to live there.” Before, even if I felt that way, I wouldn’t say anything. I was worried about what they would think if I didn’t have the same fears as them. I would question my lack of fear in whatever we were discussing. At this point, I can feel confident telling a person that living in fear wasn’t good for me. It didn’t feel good, so I’m choosing a different way to see things. I’m not telling them they have to change. If they want to live in fear, I accept that. That’s their journey. Only the person having the experience can decide if they are ready to let go of their dark energy of fear and live a different way. If they want to know more she/he will ask, do my boot camp, read the things I write about, or will distance themselves from me because they have no interest in my perspective.

I used to feel hurt and insulted when people left my life, now I completely get that our energies don’t match up so it’s ok that there is distance. I’m very happy with what I’m projecting right now, so I will attract the people who are meant to be around me. This goes for readers, followers, friends, family members, and strangers. I love how the Law of Attraction works this way. I don’t have to judge the people who aren’t in my life, when and if they are meant to be there, they will be. If they aren’t they won’t be. No need to fight reality when you live in acceptance of what it is.

I trust when I have a feeling to reach out to someone, I do. I trust when they have a feeling to reach out to me, they will. I won’t blame them if they don’t reach out to me, and I won’t feel guilt if I don’t reach out to them. I know the people who I’m meant to encounter I will. There is no pressure! It’s a beautiful thing!

Projecting acceptance of ourselves and others becomes this beautiful journey of discovery. We are invited into seeing our lives through a different lens—A perspective that invites SO much love into our lives! The thing that blows me away the most is the incredible people it invites in. I’ve been blessed to meet and/or  interact with so many people who are on their journeys in different phases. Each one has something to remind me of or teach me about my own journey. Each question I’m asked or encounter I have contributes to the magic in my life when I’m in the place where I’m projecting acceptance. If I choose to project my fears, my encounters teach me about my fear. If I try to avoid the lesson, my darkness grows and begins to affect all the relationships and energy fueling my life.

We aren’t going to do this perfectly all the time, but there is beauty there too. Just by having the awareness of what we are projecting gives us the opportunity to work with it to change what we don’t like and appreciate what we do. That when we once again get to practice accepting ourselves. We all experience this classroom of life a little differently. We will get the lessons necessary for our individual journey. When we accept that we start growing exponentially.

Once we get to the point we start projecting acceptance our reality shifts, our service to and for others shifts, and our appreciation of self-care shifts. We don’t feel the need to be right all the time. We accept that there are multiple ways to look at a situation. WE GAIN PERSPECTIVE!

We are responsible for the views, beliefs, feelings, and thoughts that live inside ourselves. We aren’t accountable for what someone’s else’s are. When we stop trying to force (fear) our way, we actually give people the opportunity to look at how we are living our lives and we can share our experiences in regards to what our views, beliefs, feelings, and thoughts have done for us. We begin to share our lives from a loving place. Others will feel empowered to make the choice of how to live for themselves. If something resonates, they will be drawn to us more, if it doesn’t, they will distance themselves. Whatever happens, accept what is and trust the process.

Just for Today

Look at how you are projecting acceptance. Have you accepted your past, the present, and the unknown? What can you do today to help you feel and project acceptance today? Try it! If it doesn’t work for you, try something else. You can also test your level of acceptance by watching the news. Just try looking at the stories from a perspective of acceptance. I’m not asking you to believe them, just see the options in other ways to look at a situation.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 40 – Projecting Acceptance in My Life

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 39 – Welcoming the Unknown

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 39: Welcoming the Unknown

“Uncertainty is the essence of life, and it fuels opportunity.”

-Tina Seelig

Why focus on happily ever after? That adds a lot of pressure and expectations to life, love, work, family, and friends. We can’t appreciate the moment we’re in if we always have one foot in a place we think we should and/or could be. Do we think that future place is a place we deserve to be? If we aren’t there—there is a reason. We don’t deserve to be anywhere we’re not. If we are in the midst of a challenge, that is exactly where we are supposed to learn. That is our classroom. We can’t get to the future we think we deserve if we don’t believe and act like we deserve it in the moment we are in. Once we get comfortable with accepting that the future is unknown, we get the space to make better choices on what we are doing right now.

Making choices that contribute to the energy that we want to see in ourselves, our futures, and in the world changes our reality. It’s different then attaching to the unknown future, because focusing on the energy focuses us on the journey. We begin to welcome the unknown because of the energy we know we are feeding into it. We know that what comes is because of the energy we are putting out, so what we really feel inside comes to life. If we need to learn from a spot of darkness we carry, we will get a lesson that shows it to us. If we feel the light within us permeating into our current moment, we bring that energy into the unknown. That has the power to manifest things beyond what our human minds can comprehend—MIRACLES!

One of my favorite expressions is “I plan, God laughs.” I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve had my focus on the perfect future. I thought I just knew what my future would look like. I had no idea the biggest blessings in my life were the things that didn’t go as planned. I had so much to learn from every moment I would have chosen to miss. Even surviving attempted suicide, rape, abuse, and some lessons that involved the people I love most were necessary for my life to be where it is today. I much rather be creating a life from the energy I have now than what I would have created if I stuck to the energy I was in then.

Accepting the unknown is scary when you are lost in the energy of fear, if we can’t accept the unknown—We miss the opportunity to embrace the unknown and keep our focus on the energy we are putting into it. When we can accept the past, become secure in the present, and welcome the unknown—We find peace and stability. We let go of the chaos and put energy into ourselves and the world that we actually want to be there.

Years ago when I started reading transformational books, I would read things like I’m writing and think they were telling me NOT to have dark feelings about my past, my present, and my future. I would feel like a failure when I felt my dark feelings come up. Then I would give up on the process because I felt like I was too weak to live the way these authors were telling me it’s possible to live. In the act of trying to find peace I found more chaos. That is why in this series I try to make sure I repeat, messages to encourage you FEEL, FEEL, FEEL! Feel all the feelings that come through you whether they have dark or light in them. Avoiding, suppressing, and numbing feelings keeps us in the dark and we forget to be grateful for the light.

Acknowledging feelings, allowing them to come up, feeling through them, and processing them makes it so we release the dark energy of them, so they don’t build up toxic blocks in our bodies. It helps us see, appreciate, and sustain light energy too. By really looking at them and taking responsibility for them keeps us from taking our dark feelings out on others and helps us to spread our light. Don’t purge your dark feelings all over others. The ones that commiserate with you are actually increasing the dark energy around you. Now if you have friends that you can talk to that will help you process and take personal responsibility for your feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions, that brings light to the dark. If you don’t have that, you will need to depend on your own light (Journaling) coming through or hire someone who will help shine light on your situation. I will talk more about all that in Part III. For now just know, I’m not telling you not to feel dark feelings. They are apart of you and they have plenty to teach you and help you grow. Your light feelings need to be acknowledged in order to actively spread them with intent. The key is to look at all the feelings that come through us.

I will use an example of relationship. This can be any kind of relationship intimate partner, family member, friend, and/or co-worker. Let’s say when we are with this person we judge the moment we are in on the basis of what we think the situation will look like in the future. That judgment creates us to act in fear, which creates expectations, disappointments, anger, resentment, and chaos. If we don’t look at the feelings that are coming up inside of us, we take out all these feelings on them. The energy we put out comes back to us and their reactions reflect our own future fears about the situation. This creates a toxic cycle between all the parties involved. Then you talk to other people and the dark toxic energy spreads.

If we go back, feel the fear and judgment coming up, step back to take the time to process the feelings. We will realize that those feelings are our responsibility to clean up. We ask ourselves why are these feelings coming up right now? What about this situation is really scaring me? What energy am I putting into this situation? We then have taken our dark feelings and learned from them because we became responsible for them. If we were stuck playing the “What if” game about the future, we could slow ourselves down and say what is happening right now? Where are my feelings coming from? Am I reacting to someone else’s dark feelings? Am I not taking responsibility for my self-care by being in this relationship? How can I take care of myself in this situation? These are all forms of processing that will help get our fears out of the future and into the current moment. We can change any future by the energy we give it. Our peace, joy, contentment, and happiness don’t depend on what other people are doing. They depend on our perceptions of the moment, what we are doing, and what energy we are putting into it. We can feed the darkness or feed the light. When we feed the light we can welcome the unknown because we know it will offer us plenty of opportunities to shine our light and learn from our dark. We find clarity in processing our feelings. We can see where we have made other people responsible for our lives, and then take that power back by taking charge of our choices to feel, think, act, and react. We become fully empowered to change the trajectory of our lives.

Welcome the unknown and give yourself the power to experience life better than you ever knew was possible.

Just for Today

What thoughts do you have about the future that are keeping you from embracing the unknown? What energy are you putting into your future thoughts? What are some knew thoughts that could help you to focus more on the energy you are putting into the future instead of pretending you can predict it?

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

Check out Today’s Letter from A Better Me 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 39 – Getting Comfortable With the Unknown