90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 67 -Celebrating What Doesn’t Work

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 67: Celebrating What Doesn’t Work

“Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”

-Garth Brooks

I’m not going to lie— This step takes some work! Celebrating what doesn’t work is a testament of our faith. It is us realizing that we don’t know what is best, and that is a VERY hard pill for many of us to swallow. I’ve talked about this multiple times in the series. If we were meant to be anywhere then where we are right at this moment, we would be there. There is something to learn from the moment we are in—

No matter what that moment looks like. As soon as we open ourselves up to learn instead of wishing things were different—We grow! Wishing things were different just keeps us stuck in the hamster wheel. We won’t get anywhere! So, if we are praying for things to change, a more productive prayer would be:

Please show me what I need to learn from the moment I’m in. Help me  move past whatever is blocking me.

There maybe a much better plan for us than we could imagine, but if we don’t learn what is necessary to get us there, we will just stay in the hamster repeating the lesson over and over. We may leave one relationship and move into the next, but the same patterns show up. We may leave one job for the next and the same patterns keep repeating themselves. We think our prayers are being answered for getting us out of one toxic situation only to find ourselves in another one. Where our thoughts and prayers go matter to the energy we are putting out into the Universe. We can’t escape or pretend to be somewhere we are not, energy is energy. It’s not judging us, it just is. So, even in the moments we are not getting what we want, we need to find away to celebrate.

“Remember that sometimes NOT getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”

-Dalai Lama

If we have faith in a Creator who is the encapsulation of love, why would we think what we were going through isn’t a necessary step to help us achieve love’s full embrace? Why would we think a Being who represents love is punishing us? The only one punishing us is ourselves and maybe other humans are trying to, but they can’t break our soul. They can’t destroy the love within us, no matter what hate they may throw at us. Our love is ours. Only we can lock it up in the dark and make it our prisoner.

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My perspective of truth is that I’m being led to be able to love to my full capability. Everything I experience is a stepping-stone to build my love for myself, for Source, for loved ones, for strangers, for the environment, for animals, for the planet, and for the Universe. Each lesson I get, I can choose to learn from or repeat. My kids are definitely able to show me the ones I need to repeat. I also get to see where I’ve healed and how I’m breaking generations of unhealthy patterns. Little steps, that’s all there ever is. So I’ve learned to surrender, sometimes with tight fists at first, but eventually, I remember—I’m loved more than I can humanly imagine. Everything is happening exactly the way it needs to for each person to learn what he or she are meant to learn in this life.  We have to become aware, accept, and then we get to take action. That is where we celebrate!!

How do we celebrate what doesn’t work, the big NO, the drama, the chaos, the illness, the pain, and the struggle?

9 Ways to Celebrate What Doesn’t Work

  1. Have a dance party! Make a playlist of music that gets your heart pumping. Know that no matter what the challenge is, it is leading you where you are supposed to be. Honor the love in your heart. If you are grieving, know that you are grieving because of your capability to love. If a partner left you, or you needed to leave them, dance because it wasn’t the right relationship for you to experience your best love story. Celebrate the cancer, illness, or disability because with it you have an amazing tool to teach others love and compassion while learning how to embrace the love within you on your journey through the pain.
  2. Go do something you love. Have that amazing dinner, explore somewhere new, visit with friends, take that walk, ride, or run; drive to the beach, mountains, or desert. We will be covering this more in the days to come.
  3. Get down on your knees and pray. Stand-up, with your hands in the air, and pray. Lie down in your bed and pray. Just pray in gratitude to learn from the lesson in front of you, and be grateful for the love that lies behind it.
  4. Write out a gratitude list for everything that the “not getting” is teaching you. Write about how grateful you are for the mistakes, the lessons, the failures, and the challenges because they are giving you opportunities to learn about perspective. We make the choice how we want to view anything in our lives. We don’t have to be victims of anything that we don’t choose to. Gratitude is a perspective that says, I’m bigger than anything that happens to me. I’m the love inside me and for that I will celebrate and be grateful.
  5. Create a spot in your life for peace. It can be the bathroom, a closet, a room, a bench, a tree, a chair, etc. Wherever it is, make this your spot to go to when you need to feel peace when you thought you knew what was best for your life and it didn’t work out the way you thought it would. This is the place that reminds you that even your trials are part of the master plan. This is the place where you embrace the love within you to feel at peace with what is happening around you.
  6. Find a plant, tree, flower, and/or animal that makes you feel AWE. Celebrate the simplistic AWE of life, of creation. You are here! You are alive! That is something to celebrate. If you aren’t where you want to be, make sure you are taking a step on your path in the direction you actually want to be going. Celebrate the AWE inside of you.
  7. Create something beautiful! I personally love word collages (click here to see more) and writing, but this can also include things like gardening, painting, drawing, photography, knitting, stenciling, needlepoint, etc. Just be creative and use your energy to create something beautiful. IMG_3371
  8. Hug someone you love. Not just a few second hug. Hug them for a whole minute. Feel the life of someone you love in your arms. Listen to her/his heartbeat and yours.  Take deep breaths and match your breathing with hers/his. We can celebrate what doesn’t work by embracing what does—LOVE!
  9. Play and laugh! Bring out the childlike energy within yourself and find a way to play and be joyful in the moment. If you have an animal play with her/him. My kids and I play the try not to laugh or smile game while watching funny videos on YouTube. Appreciate the moment you are in. Laughing yoga is a fun way to release tension and play. Just play! What doesn’t work matters a lot less when we appreciate what does.

Be real with yourself. If you are feeling like the victim of something that is happening to you, be there with the feelings. Then, look at different ways you can choose to look at the situation. When you are ready to open yourself up to the possibilities of seeing things differently— Celebrate that! Don’t beat yourself up for your bad mood or dark feelings, just know that is where you are in the moment and when you are ready to move out of that moment, you have choices. That in itself is a reason to celebrate. I love seeing the world through the eyes of perspective because I’m never trapped. I can ALWAYS choose to see things differently. I can be the person who is grateful for the rain or who dreads it, the choice is mine and it’s yours too.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 67 – Celebrating What Hasn’t Worked in My Life

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 62 – Clearing Space to Re-Create Our Lives

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 62: Clearing Space to Re-Create Our Lives

“The most important choice you make is what you choose to make important.”

-Michael Neill

We make room for what is important. Our priorities are how we dictate the time we are willing to commit to something. We have to decide how much this journey means to us. How important is living a quality life? Our words don’t mean anything, and our actions mean EVERYTHING when it comes to what we are willing to give to our journeys. There is no room for excuses. If you can’t make the time, you are saying creating the time not your priority.

“Telling yourself that you don’t have enough time for something is a lousy excuse because you NEVER ‘have’ time, you MAKE time!”

-James Malinchak

No more excuses! We have to be willing to MAKE the time re-create our lives or else we are saying, it’s not our priority. For me writing this 90-Day A Better Me Series has been an amazing experience about creating the time for my writing. I used to make excuses that I didn’t have the time to write EVERYDAY. Well, I’ve been writing two pieces or more for 62 days now. This series was important to me, so I made the time. I know how much focusing on this material does to improve my life. I’ve noticed huge differences in how quick I process through different challenges. I’ve also noticed all the blessings that have come with focusing my energy here. Since the gratitude section in Part Two, I’ve even implemented using the gratitude in my daily Letters from A Better Me portion of the series. Making the time to implement that has created so much more space for more things to be grateful for and it has been an AMAZING process even when I’ve had some interesting challenges in the midst of it all.

“Don’t waste your breath proclaiming what’s really important to you. How you spend your time says it all.”

-Eric Zorn

Clearing space to re-create our lives is a choice. A choice only we can make. Only we know whether or not we are ready to make the choice towards love or fear. If you are like me and you’re working on creating a peaceful inner world to contribute to a more peaceful outer world or you have been trying the same thing over and over and nothing is working to help you to find joy in the life your living, well clearing the space is an essential step.

We have to make room for the changes we want to see. This means we have to commit daily time to living our journey and doing the work required to transform our lives.

  • Where can you fit you into your schedule?
  • How important is it for you to be in your schedule?

If you want to change anything in your life, then you better move yourself to the top of your priority list. I’m always amazed how I am able to clear space for the things that matter to me and how much I can get done when I stop telling myself I don’t have the time. Being in our heads sucks up our energy to do the work that needs to be done in order to create the lives we want for ourselves.

If living our journeys is important, we MAKE the time!

The miracle that comes with this practice is once we put ourselves on the top of the priority list, things start shifting opening up space. This can be a little strange, because it may mean someone you spend regular time on moves out of your life, or plans change and get cancelled, or something like an accident on the highway slows us down, but these are all opportunities to make the time to our own journeys. What are you going to do with that time? Our energy can create miracles or blocks. Make sure the energy you are putting out is going to the right place.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 62 -I’m MAKING the Time to CREATE the Life I WANT Today!

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 61 – Rebuilding Our Lives on a Stable Foundation

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 61: Rebuilding Our Lives on a Stable Foundation

 “If the house is crooked and crumbling, and the land on which it sits uneven, is it possible to make anything lie straight?”

–Katherine Boo, Behind the Beautiful Foreversp. 254

This quote is where we began on Day 2: Understanding the Journey of Awareness. We spent Part One looking at all our blocks that kept our inner foundation unstable and kept us from being satisfied with the houses we created on the unstable land. Then in Part Two: The Journey of Perspective, we worked on fixing our foundations to make them stable and worthy of building on. We sifted through the fear-based perspectives and replaced them with the energy of love coming from the inside out. Now, we are ready for Part Three: Living the Journey. This is where we take action steps to build on this new foundation and create a house and garden that make us shine. The foundation we are building on now will grow and expand with us. Our houses no longer deteriorate because now we are AWARE of what creates the problems so we are able to fix them at the source before it takes down our house. We can choose to re-model our houses and/or re-frame them as time goes on. We are choosing our changes consciously.

Let’s check some boxes:

  • Awareness our fear-based thinking holding us back
  • Acceptance of our pasts
  • Acceptance of the unknown future
  • Consciousness about the perspectives of truth we are choosing to live by
  • Commitment to live in the energy of love
  • Commitment to live in gratitude
  • Ready to take action

Let’s start the process of rebuilding from our new foundation. Is our land going to be perfect? Not a chance! What we do have is tools to keep it maintained and get rid of any left over toxic muck as is comes up to the surface. Some of our fear-based perspectives of truth are buried deep down and they take longer to surface, but once they do we are ready for it. We are able to process the feelings, work through them and replace the old pattern with something that works better in our lives. Just remember this all takes time. Be patient! Our canvas won’t be complete until we have taken our last breath.

Rebuilding takes work. The more you want to change and shift, the more work you have to put in. No one is forcing you to build your house or create your garden on any time line, but here is the truth of it all. If you don’t do the work and keep up with it, the foundation will become unstable again and anything you try to create on top of toxic land will crumble, fall, and die. Now, when I say work there are instant perspectives of truth that will relate to what work means to you. I’m a believer in working smart. In my perspective working hard has a connotation of fear to it. If I don’t work hard, “I will fail” come into my mind the thought creates stress in my feelings, thoughts, and choices. In this mindset people can become workaholics and can neglect their well-being for the sake of working hard. My method is to work smart. For me, that feels better and causes me less anxiety and stress. It’s good to check-in with yourself on words and concepts to see how they make you feel, because it will affect the energy you put out into the world. If working hard fuels you with the right type of energy to go for it and doesn’t fill you with expectations and attachments related to fear, then use it. Whatever you need to do for you.

During this month we will be building on our foundations built on the energies of faith, hope, gratitude, and love. We will be creating beautiful gardens in our mind and committing to keep working on being the best we can be in each moment we are given.

Living the journey is about letting go of the thinking that keeps us from being present.  We start engaging in the energy that puts us where our feet are. This journey is about embracing the moment we are in, learning to slow down, and taking the steps we need to in order to create a reality that we want to be living in. We can find joy in a single step, hope in the shape of clouds, faith in the energy of Divine love, and gratitude for each breath we are able to take, step we are able to walk, sunset we are see, fruit we are able to taste, and feeling we are able to have. This is a journey about appreciating the moments we are given and letting that energy of gratitude take us into a reality better than we could ever imagine.

Since this section is all about the work, there will be no “Just for Today” section. You choose how much you want a better life and do the work you need to do to get it. If you do the work, your life will change. No one can do it for you. You have to decide.

So, let me ask you—Are you in?

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 61 – I’m Ready to Rebuild My Life

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 60 – Right Here and NOW

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 60: Right Here and NOW

“Enjoy the moment, not the end result.”

-Lee Ann Womack

Today is the day to redefine our lives. Nothing before today or after today is real—It’s a story. Everything is how we define it to be. It doesn’t matter what the story of our past is or what the dreams of our future are if we are not living in today. We actively destroy the good stuff from coming into our lives by focusing on anywhere but RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW.

Take the lessons from the past, but leave the story behind. Have goals for the future but leave the attachment to your happiness behind. What we feel, what we think, what we believe, how we act, and how we respond and/or react in this moment will dictate each step that falls after that. This is not the time to be going into autopilot.

What are you going to choose to do today to contribute to you living your best life right now?

Most of us (including me) aren’t going to do this perfectly, so don’t put that expectation on yourself. What will make the most difference is doing the best we can in each moment we are conscious. The more we practice to bring ourselves back to the moment, the longer we will be able to stay in the moment.

What are the things that connect you to the present moment?

We want to have touchstones that remind us to pay attention to what is going on right now, such as spotting things in nature, a specific daily time to read, meditate, pray, exercise, walk, etc. It’s not about what I do to get me into my present moment; it’s about picking the things that touch your life.

I know I’ve talked about this before, but this is so important that it is worth mentioning again, especially knowing that even if you have read this entire series, you will probably retain about 10% of the material, and it will be the parts that you associate most with right now. That 10% is the seeds you decide to plant. You will have some seeds you hold onto for later that will all the sudden pop up in your mind out of nowhere. They usually will come up in a moment of presence. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been out walking and all the sudden remember something I saw, read, or listened to that is the perfect tool to use in my current situation. When we are quite, we leave space for our prayers to be answered—Seeds appear. There will also be plenty of seeds in my work that don’t fit into the beautiful foundation that you are creating for yourself. You may give them to someone else or toss them aside. This is your life. The more we can live in right here and right now, the more connected we will be to the choices we make.

We want to make sure we are putting our energy where we want it to be. We can only do that if we stay present. If we don’t work on our practices in presence, which we will talk more about in Part III, we will continue to be swept away by fear-based ways of thinking. When we practice presence, we start to see things as they are building up inside. We may start noticing when we are triggered after we already yelled back in a fear-based way. Then with practice, we might catch ourselves mid-scream. With more practice, we start catching it the moment before a scream is about to leave our mouths. With even more practice, we start spotting it as the feelings start stirring inside us. Here’s where the practice gets really awesome! We will start noticing another person’s energy as they begin to engage with us. We will be able to see if they are coming from a place of love or fear. We’ve slowed down enough to start asking them questions to see their own perspective clearly, then we can respond to them from a loving place to allow them the opportunity to see our perspective without telling them we are right and they are wrong. This may take years for some especially if we come from a childhood where screaming was a normal occurrence.

The more we connect to the present moment, the less attached we become to the stories that keep us hostage to our pasts and prisoners of our unknown future. We begin to authentically interact with the people in front of us. There is a reason I have chosen each day of this journey to represent what it does in this 90-Day series. This is a process and not one we will get fully the first time we read through and start practicing. We have a lot of undoing in order to start re-building. Presence makes it clear what in us we need to work through to be in the best place to create the lives we actually want.

Just for Today

  • What choices are you making right now to live better than you did yesterday? Be conscious of your feelings, thoughts, beliefs, stories, actions, reactions, responses, and where your feet literally are in this moment.
  • How is what you are doing right now working for or against you? Now, decide to do something better in this moment.  Anytime you catch yourself, just slow down and make a choice to do something right now that will make things better for the moment you are in.

NO BEATING YOURSELF UP for not doing things perfect. We talked about the detriments of that in Part I.

The more we can focus on the person we are being in this very moment, the more successful we will be at achieving abundance in our lives.

Tomorrow, we are moving into Part III: Living the Journey. I hope you will continue to transform with me. Enjoy today!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 60 -Right Here and Now I’m Free

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 57 -What I Represent in the World

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 57: What I Represent in the World

Dear Self,

I’m clear about what I want more of in the world, which is seeing individuals living life from a loving place. I am responsible for the energy I put out to support this cause, which means I’m going to represent myself in a way that shows this in action. My awareness is essential when my mind is getting taken over by fearful thoughts or worrying about what others think of my journey. I commit to being vigilant in facing my fears, so that I can transform them into love, the energy I’m doing my best to represent.

When I engage with people who think differently than I do, I’m responsible for my choices in how I communicate my thoughts and visions. I’m not responsible for their energy. I know that change, growth, and expansion are apart of my journey and what I’m representing, so it is important for me to remain open and listen to/for connections with others through love. How is what they are communicating represent the love within them? If I want to see more love in the world than I need to ask enough questions to dig through people’s fears to find the love, which is sometimes buried deep down.

I’m open to listen to others point of views no matter how different they are from mine. I’m open and willing to examine my perspectives of truth to make sure that they represent what I stand for. I’m open and willing to change, grow, shift, and expand as I go along.

I accept that this journey is not about doing things perfectly. This journey of living from a loving place comes with many lessons. I’m going to see where I still need work and need to grow. I’m going to be challenged by my fears to act against, but I’m responsible for what I represent in the world at every moment. I have to choose whether to represent the love or the fear within me. I am responsible for the rewards and/or consequences of the energy I’m choosing to represent.

When I choose to represent love, I feel good inside and out. When I choose fear, I end up walking around in my head and missing opportunities to see anything but more fear, anger, hate, resentment, and violence. I keep reminding myself that what I’m seeing is a reflection of what is going on inside of me and ask myself:

  • What am I representing in this moment?
  • How does it feel to represent this energy?
  • What is keeping me in the energy of fear?
  • What is inspiring me to contribute to the energy of love?
  • What am I really representing by the choices I’m making in this moment?

I commit to keep writing, keep reading, keep listening, keep growing, and keep loving. I want to represent loving action like many who have come before me. I want to contribute my energy to changes I want to see in the world.

I know the only way I can do this is to make sure my energy on what I want to give the world is in-line with the energy I’m feeding into myself. I’m making sure that I take the time to take care of and nurture the love within me. I’m treating myself with the love and respect that I deserve. I’m holding myself accountable for my feelings, thoughts, and actions that I’m choosing towards myself. I am enough. I know my worth. I love the person I am. I treat myself accordingly. I know my actions speak louder than any words will ever be able to do.

I commit to continually asking myself the question:

How are my actions representing what I want to see in the world?

Today I’m grateful

  1. I’m grateful for opportunities to see love in action
  2. I’m grateful for the time to show myself the love I deserve
  3. I’m grateful to be apart of the lives of the people who choose to read what I write.
  4. I’m grateful to be apart of the lives of my family, friends, and loved ones.
  5. I’m grateful for my ability to listen to people who think differently than I do,

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 57 – Being Clear on What You Stand For

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 56 – The Safe Foundation of Self-Love

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 56: The Safe Foundation of Self-Love

“It is easy to live for others, everybody does. I call on you to live for yourselves.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The last week we have been diving into the importance of self-worth. When I was planning out the layout of Part II, I went back and forth whether to put the self-love or self-worth section first. They go hand in hand, but as I thought about it and the process I went through, I realized that I had to gain self-worth to start liking myself. Once I started liking myself, the path to loving myself was smooth. I wasn’t trying to force it. I remember the first time I looked into the mirror and said, “I love you” as an exercise, that’s when I found out how much I didn’t like myself. I saw how brutal I was to the person looking back at me. I worked on healing that before I could look back in the mirror and say, “I love you” and truly mean it.

Self-love is the safest foundation we can build our lives on. Self-love is the glue. We need self-love for all the other elements of love (Days 32-35), acceptance (Days 36-41), perspective (Days 42-46), gratitude (Days 47-50), and self-worth (Days 51-55) to grow and expand. Without self-love we fall off the wagon and struggle to get back on. We struggle to find our way through the dark tunnels and small confined boxes. Self-love is the essence of what living in the light is about. When we love ourselves fully, deeply, and without question, we are able to shine our lights at full capacity.

“Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It is sanity.”

-Katrina Mayer

Many of us have been raised in ways that were led by fear. That makes the understanding of what love is very confusing. That makes self-love even more confusing. This is where confusion can set in about someone who loves themselves too much (which is not possible) and someone who is ego driven. Ego comes from our fears, not love. It doesn’t mean anyone who lives in their ego driven world is a bad person, they are just caught up in their own dark energy that seeks outside approval from the world. Often it comes from deep levels of self-loathing. They are trying to prove something to the world and seeking love from the outside world because they can’t find it inside themselves. Have you ever been caught up in this downward spiral? I know I have. When we are there, we start taking our lack of love for ourselves out on the world. We want someone else to make us feel safe, because we can’t find that safety within our own feelings about ourselves. Self-love is where our safety lies. We just need to move past all the fears that have been blocking us from seeing the full capacity of our own lights.

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If you read the Day 55 post from the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series, “How I Honor the Person I Am” I talk a little bit about how I’m connected to my spirituality through my self-love. I’ve studied many different religious paths on an academic level. I’ve looked for similarities and differences. I’ve looked for the love and fear within the readings. I’ve looked how human words whether in text or in services have brought perspectives of fear or love into their interpretations. I’m a spiritual person, so my connection to Spirit is very important to my journey, but my connection does not come from a human level, so no words spoken or written can contain my connection. No titles can hold me to the point where I can’t spot the love within another human.

If I have a weak moment where my own darkness is dimming my light, I know I have to go back to the truest form of love, the love within myself to reconnect beyond what the outside world tells me. Many people try to connect to spirit through words, but words and interpretation of words are apart of our human journey. Spirit is an energy beyond what we as humans can ever contain. In my perspective of truth, the closest I will ever get to feeling and honoring a true connection to Spirit is through the energy of love. I know that my capacity to love and be loved is at it’s highest when I love myself. I have to have it within me to fully feel the effects of it outside of me.  I CHOOSE LOVE. I choose love to connect me to myself, to the Divine Creator, to humanity, and to the planet. That is all created through my safe foundation of self-love.

When I’m honoring the love within me—I’m safe. It doesn’t matter what people don’t love me back. That is their business. That is their journey. The people who are meant to be on my journey will be there for as long as they are meant to be. When they leave or I shut the door, I’m still safe within the love I feel for myself. I can grieve them knowing they played an important role on my journey. I can feel the loss of their energy in my life. I can have moments of fear where I wonder if I will ever feel that way for someone again. That is apart of honoring their part in my journey, but in the end, I will still be there for me. I will be grateful that I was able to love someone so much. This can of course extend to animals, the Earth, our environment, etc.

The more we love ourselves and understand our mistakes, failures, triumphs, darkness, and light, the more we can see that it’s not our place to judge someone else’s life journey. It’s more important to keep our  own gardens the way we want them.

“I see our choices of perspectives of truth as the garden we create in our minds. I choose what seeds I’m going to plant. I decide how to treat the soil. I figure out the way I want to water my garden. I choose which weeds I want to pull. I determine how much light each flower, plant, vine, bush, or tree needs. I choose the space between each life form to support their growth. Other people can give me seeds to flowers, plants, trees, weeds, smuggling vines, invasive species, fertilizers, etc. I get to choose whether to plant or use them. If it doesn’t fit into the garden I’m creating, I can put it in my pocket to possibly plant later, or get rid of it completely. The choice is MINE and MINE ALONE!”

–Rachael Wolff, Day 46

We keep our gardens by being aware of our light and darkness and accepting ourselves for the person we are and the one we choose to be through our choices. When we choose to love ourselves, we have the ability to create gardens of AWE and AMAZEMENT. Our love guides us how to care for the gardens in our minds. Our love for ourselves gives us the beautiful seeds to pass onto others. Self-love gives us so much room to grow and expand without being contained by fear-driven ideas and demands. We are safe because the love we have for ourselves cannot be taken away by anything outside of us. Our gardens are in our minds, but when we create them from self-love, that creation is coming from the energy of our light within us, our soul.

Just for Today

Could you name three things you love about yourself everyday for 90 days? If you don’t think you can, start today. If you think you can, start today. If you want to see the biggest transformation that you will EVER see, start today. A hint into finding things you love about yourself is to look at what you love about others. If you spot it in someone else— It’s in you too! Enjoy the journey!

Thank you for reading and growing with me. I hope this journey helps you to create and expand the gardens of your dreams! Don’t limit your garden’s beauty. SHINE BRIGHT!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 56 – The Safety of My Self-Love

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 54 – Empowering the Person in the Mirror

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 54: Empowering the Person in the Mirror

“You have a belief about what is beautiful and what is ugly, and if you don’t like yourself, you can change your belief and your life will change.”

-Don Miguel Ruiz

If we want to feel true empowerment, we have to strip down all those layers of titles we’ve defined ourselves by. We have to let go of the titles we’ve been given to by others and look deep into the mirror and see the power of the soul within ourselves. We limit our power by naming ourselves through a series of titles. Titles are and were created by humans.  Our power is limitless. Our definition of who we are is only thing that can stand in our way of shining to our full capacity.

That being said, I don’t mean for you to go around and yell at people for putting you in a category. When we act out in anger and fear because of how someone else is defining us, we aren’t expanding our empowerment onto them. We are creating them to put up their dark defensive walls to protect themselves from the darkness we are spreading. What matters is that we aren’t defining ourselves through the categories people check off for us. If they are defining us by a title that is led by their fear, we don’t have to engage in ours. We do have choices on how not to let their darkness dampen our light. We have to know from the inside that we are bigger than any category. When we truly know that, someone else’s title doesn’t have the ability to hurt us. We are empowered when we are spreading our light!

When we don’t fight categories and titles we can see that they can help lead people to our lives. They can help lead people who aren’t healthy for us away from our lives too. They are just not the embodiment of who we are. If we define ourselves by them we can limit how bright we can shine our lights. We can let darkness come in and defend the title in an, US AGAINST THEMwar. See any patterns here? We can see people fighting for their titles of race, gender, religion, political affiliation, region, along with titles like mother, father, son, daughter, rich, poor, etc. We also see people fighting against other people’s titles, but as I talked about earlier in the series, seeing people as groups and categories keeps us from seeing the individual we lose our humanity and we don’t see theirs. You can look anywhere around you and see evidence of this perspective of truth.

We are only as empowered as the love we project from inside of us. That is why I’ve spent the last few days covering our worth and our value. We can only shine as bright as we allow ourselves to shine. This is not about being self-centered. This is about being able to give from a full bucket that is constantly self-filling. This is about putting the oxygen masks on ourselves first so we can thrive while helping others.

I’ve seen a lot of amazing causes fail and people burn out because they were driving themselves by fear. They felt like the anger was empowering them. When we fight darkness with more darkness, we only create more. It just moves. We may feel the fight or flight reaction and choose the fight. The energy from that burns out and can have lasting long-term effects on our bodies and our minds. We open ourselves up to so much pain that we can’t tell the difference between love and fear. We can and do make this choice on a regular basis. We can choose to be and do better! We have to find clarity in who we are and what we stand for so that when are standing up for the oppressed, victims, and ill, we are serving them with the energy we want to see more of—LOVE! When we are serving causes from a place of fear, rage, anger, and revenge we miss giving opportunities for the people who might have been ignorant of wrongdoing to grow. NOBODY is perfect and we are all learning, when we go in with our guns blazing, we enter into our darkness. We can’t fix others until we are willing to look at and empower ourselves. The more aware we are of how we CHOOSE to live moment to moment, the more empowered we are to represent ourselves and our causes in a loving way.

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In order to empower the person in the mirror to spread more light into the world, we have to empower her/him with more light within. We have to turn our internal dimmer switches up. We have to start asking the right questions to ourselves when we are faced with our and other people’s darkness:

  • How are my feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions contributing to the light (love) or the dark  (fear) in this situation?
  • Am I speaking in away that will encourage communication (light) or put up defenses (dark) to those who don’t have the same perspectives of truth as I do?
  • Am I coming at this situation from a loving place representing what I stand for (love) or a fearful place representing what I’m against (fear)?
  • Am I trying to encourage people to see other perspectives of truth (light) or force my beliefs down a person’s throat because I believe my way is the ONLY right way (dark)?
  • Am I trying to understand where other people are coming from through their perspectives of truth (love) or am I closing myself off to possibilities of looking at the situation from a different perspective (fear)?

When I don’t know how to not fight AGAINST something I don’t like, I wait. I work through the fear, anger, rage, and resentment. Then I look at how I can approach the situation from a loving place that will open up conversations so both sides can feel heard which opens the door to come up with solutions. Do I always get the solution I was hoping for? No, and I may need to work through my feelings about that, but when I acted from a place of love I don’t have all the residual fear-based thoughts about regretting things I said, or realizing I wasn’t considering someone else’s opportunity for growth. Even if my answer is to walk away from the person or situation, I can feel good about the choice I made. I can know that I passed a seed to a beautiful flower, plant, or tree. What they do with that seed is up to them? Feeling empowered from within the energy of light launches us forward in such miraculous ways.

“Self-worth comes from one thing—thinking that you are worthy.”

-Wayne Dyer

Just for Today

When you engage with others be aware of how bright you are choosing to shine your light. If someone disagrees with you, take a second. Question how much light you can choose to shine on the situation. Then try out some different ways to introduce more light to challenges of your day. This can be in traffic, stores, work, home, etc. Remember you are learning, this is not about doing it perfectly, it’s about be open to try something new.

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In Part III (Days 61-90), I will talk a lot more about action steps. For now, we are working on understanding our perspectives of truth and creating shifts to open them up to empower us at a soul level. This is where we take control of our own dimmer switches and choose to turn the light up to see the magnificent souls we are.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 54 – I AM Empowered

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 52 – I See My Value

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 52: I See My Value

Dear Universe,

I AM! Yes, I AM and that is enough to make me valuable. I AM complete in this very moment. I can finally see my value in being exactly where I am and how I am right now. I don’t have to be any more or any less than what I am right now to give my life value. When I do my best, learn from life’s lessons and share who I am with others, I am walking a path to shine my light brighter. That is what I’m choosing to do with my life, but that doesn’t determine my value.

The color of my skin, gender I am, way I look, things I have, money I make, relationships that succeed/fail, skills I acquire, and career path don’t define my value! With or without any of these details about my journey, I AM VALUABLE to this life.

I get to choose if my value comes from my light or my dark. Am I going to use love or fear to teach and be taught? Am I going to contribute to lessons that light (love) has to offer the world or the lessons that darkness (fear) has to offer the world? Which path I choose is up to me.

I’m choosing to spread as much love that I can. I’m choosing to give from a loving place. I want to learn from the dark parts of me how to create more love from the lessons I’ve learned from fear. I want to turn up my dimmer switch to shine brighter.

I see my value and I’m choosing to make the most of it by investing time in making me the best version of myself that I can be. I want to give to the world from that place. I want to give to the world from my sense of value and worth. I want to shine the light within me as bright as I can, so that I can help others see their own light.

I see the value in my darkness too. It is apart of me. It is a part of how I learn to be and do better. It is apart of my journey. At my times of darkness, my value is still there. My value can be in what my darkness is teaching others and what it’s teaching me. My value doesn’t fluctuate based on whether I’m feeling good our bad about myself. The only thing that changes is my ability to see it because of how much light or darkness I’m covering it with. I have the choice to be in the dark or in the light at any time. Whichever one I choose has valuable lessons on this journey of life.

My prayer

Please help me to see my value even in my darkness. Please help me to see the lessons and the ways to add light when I’m stuck. I know I’m connected to you when I choose to live in my light. The brighter I shine my light, the more I feel connected. Please help me honor that connection by accepting and loving myself exactly how I am. I know you made me with your love, please help me find ways to live in the light that created me in.

Today I’m Grateful 

  1. I’m so grateful for the gift of life
  2.  I’m so grateful for my ability to shine as bright as I choose to
  3. I’m grateful for all the chances I get to bring more love into the world
  4. I’m so incredibly grateful for the lessons that teach me the value of my life
  5. I’m grateful I AM!

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 52 – Seeing Our Own Value

Thank you to those following this journey with me. If you haven’t joined the 90-Day A Better Me Seriesand 90-Day A Better Me Letters Seriesjourneys, let’s turn our dimmer switches up together. I hope you will come on this transformative journey with us. No cost and no sign-up. All you need is an open mind and commitment of time to invest in becoming the best version of yourself. Just go to the Home page and explore.

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 52 – Seeing Our Own Value

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 52: Seeing Our Own Value

“Self respect, self worth and self love, all start with self. Stop looking outside of yourself for value.”

– Rob Liano

When we expect others, careers, skills, and/or circumstances to define our value, we are looking outside of ourselves. We start believing perspectives of truth that tells us:

  • Having this relationship makes me valuable
  • Having this career makes me valuable
  • Having this skill makes me valuable
  • Having this circumstance makes me valuable

We can enjoy having those things in our life when we are there, but if we strap our identities and value to having them, we become unstable. This is why so many people have the feeling of losing themselves after losing a job. This is why people struggle to fine meaning after they can’t perform a skill that they felt defined them. These outside things can bring out our darkness when we attach to them. We FEAR the death of who we are if we lose them. We don’t know who to be without them. Dark energies like fear, shame, guilt, hate, revenge, rage, entitlement, jealousy, etc. come from attaching to what’s outside of us.

We are 100% worthy and valuable of the air we breathe right here and now exactly as we are. We are 100% worthy and valuable even at the height of our challenges to find our way in the world. We are 100% worthy and valuable no matter what darkness and/or light we carry within us. Nobody outside of us needs to see our value and worth to live an AMAZING life—Only we do.

I may have a meaningful relationship fail. I may be in an abusive relationship. I may get fired/laid off from a job unexpectedly. I may be a surgeon then break my hand. I may be wealthy then lose all my money. My lesson is what does the journey have to teach me about who I am. How am I able to see myself being reflected back to me, and how can I fix any darkness I’m feeling within me. This doesn’t mean that we won’t grieve the losses of the people/things we care about. The more we are connected to our positive self-worth, the clearer the lines are of the grief. If we put our identity into a loss, we are grieving the loss of the illusion of an identity. That takes a lot more work to sort through than the loss of something or someone we know is outside of us. Many people have confused this to the point of taking their own lives because they didn’t see their inner value and worth.

We can get so attached to what is outside of us that we give no time to looking inside us. We avoid looking through all the things I talked about in Part I of the 90-Day A Better Me Series. It’s time to change that!

  • What qualities do you have that make your soul shine?
  • What light do you bring to the world?
  • What is your capacity to love?
  • How can you expand that?

“The frequency of your Light depends upon your consciousness. When you shift the level of your consciousness, you shift the frequency of your light.”

-Gary Zukav

We project out the amount of light (love-fueled energy) we have inside of us. Think of a room with a dimmer switch. The greatest amount of love is the light shining at full capacity using the full amount of energy, but this light doesn’t drain energy, it creates more energy. How we value ourselves is controlling that dimmer switch. I’m going to project this much light, so that is the amount that will come back…Law of Attraction. When we raise our value switch, our light get brighter, it makes the room brighter. It then attracts people who are attracted to that brightness and it deters people who can’t handle that level of bright. I’ve been watching how this works in my life and the lives of others around me. It always fascinates me how increasing our light shifts what is going on around us. The brighter we shine from the inside the less attachments we get to things outside of us. The “stuff” just doesn’t have the same effect on our lives like it did before.

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Our value is already within us. We just have to open our eyes to see it. We may need to change the lens we are looking through to get a better view, but it’s there, waiting to be discovered.  We have to stop denying ourselves the time, so that we give ourselves the attention we need. We have to question why we put other people’s value above our own. No one is more or less worthy and valuable than we are. We can learn from those who are driven by their darkness, which gives their life value and worth. They are actually great teachers in the importance of seeing our value own value and not putting value in the outside stuff that in the end doesn’t matter. Those outside people and circumstances can teach us the value in being present instead of attaching to some unknown future. The more we can see that our pain and struggles are a part of our growth, not a hindrance to it—WE THRIVE!

In the end, our value lies in one simple statement—I AM! That is the complete statement of value. We are here. We are living. We are experiencing this journey of life. We are learning from our choices of feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions. We are ever changing and shifting being driven by the light and/or the darkness within us. Embrace the person you are! You are having the exact experiences you need in this life to fulfill your purpose in this life. We simply choose whether we will fulfill it through our light or through our dark. Our quality of the life we live is up to us. The VALUE of our life is there. The question is…

Are you ready to turn up your dimmer switch and bring more loving energy into yourself and into the world?

Just for Today

Make time to do something nurturing for yourself. Show yourself that you are valuable and worthy of your own time and attention! If you can’t think of things you can do: Imagine your ideal perfect relationship. What would you want someone to do to show you that you are valuable to him/her? Come up with a list. What on that list can you do for yourself to show you that you are valuable to yourself? Never expect anyone give more to you than you are willing to give to yourself. You are the example others are following.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s Letter from A Better Me is 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 52 – I See My Value. Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 47 – Commitment to Practice Gratitude

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 47: Commitment to Practice Gratitude

Dear Self,

I’ve seen how crazy I’ve made my life by putting my focus in the wrong places. My perspective of thinking the worst of people, being constantly let down by the actions of others, blaming, shaming, and judging were all symptoms of a much larger problem. I was living in the perspective of lack.  I felt lack, I thought in terms of lack, I acted out of lack, and I reacted from a place of lack. I projected lack, manifested lack, and I reflected more lack back into my life. I got a lack of respect, lack of good friends, lack of money, lack of people who care, lack of support, lack of compassion, lack of positive circumstances, lack of appreciation, etc. When I realized what I was doing and accepted the consequences of my choices by seeing how chaotic my life had become, I realized that I had a choice to do things differently.

Though, I’m finding myself with more to be grateful for now, I’m committing to gratitude in a bigger way. I’m not going to just think about it in passing thoughts. I’m fully committing to focusing on gratitude. Everyday, I’m committing to write a list of at least five things I’m grateful for. My challenge to myself is not repeating the same items within the week. My first goal is to do this for 45-days straight.

There is so much good happening within my life, in nature, and around the world. I want to really start actively engaging in the mission to see more good. I want my energy aligned with the life I want to be living.

Day 1 of committing to my gratitude practice:

  1. I’m so incredibly grateful for the vibrant colors found in nature
  2. I’m so happy and grateful to have a family who loves and supports me
  3. I’m grateful to have positive people in my life
  4. I’m so grateful for the ability to improve my life by a change in thought
  5. I’m grateful for the oxygen producing trees

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

Don’t forget to read today’s installment from the 90-Day A Better Me Series90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 47 – The Sturdy Foundation of Gratitude