90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 83 – Taking Responsibility for Inviting the Dark Energy into My Internal Home

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 83: Taking Responsibility for Inviting the Dark Energy into My Internal Home

Dear Self,

I’m the only one who can invite dark energy into my internal home. I trust that if I attach to a person’s darkness in the physical world and invite that darkness to stir inside of me, I’ve invited the darkness in. I’m responsible for anything the darkness does inside of my internal home. If I’m attaching to the darkness, there is a reason for it. I have something to learn from it. I have a piece of me to heal if I’ve invited darkness in to teach me what I need to learn. I am resisting learning, which is why the darkness came to my door.

I have options when I see that I’ve invited the darkness into my home. The darkness stimulates fear, judgment, guilt, shame, hate, vengeance, greed, and/or ego—Just to name a few. I can see options in my thinking that will stimulate love, compassion, empathy, peace, joy, connection, and hope. I can find reasons to look at the situation from different perspectives to see that the only thing that is trapping me in my darkness are my thoughts. I am choosing my thoughts, so I have the key to get out of the darkness when I’m ready.

I can turn on the light. My first step towards turning on the light is prayer. I pray for the courage to face myself in my darkness. I know that the person, thing, or event in my physical world only triggered me to see my darkness. Now by choosing to shine the light on it, I’m willing to look deeper to see what my dark corner has hidden. For that, I need courage. Once I pray, I like giving myself space to mediate. When I’m quiet and my breath is steady, I hear the Divine whisper to me. If I don’t hear the answer consciously yet, my next step is to go out in nature and focus on what I see, hear, smell, touch, and/or taste. This opens my senses up to receiving answers. Most times nature offers me some insight. I go and stretch through my thoughts and center myself with the Earth through the practice of yoga. I don’t usually have to go any further, but sometimes if the dark energy is just lodged down deep, I shake it out and dance. My light switch clicks on.

This is where I can spot any toxic waste and build-up that is hidden in the dark. These are my old perspectives of truth that I may have thought I got rid of but they are still lingering and spreading like mold. These are those old beliefs that say things like, People have to like me so that I have value, I’m small, I’m unlovable, I’m a victim, I’m more important than another person, I’m less important than another person, I’m nothing, I’m entitled to more, I don’t deserve more, etc. I have to look at my toxic energy that is causing toxic patterns in my life. Those toxic patterns are what I attach to in other people’s darkness. If I’m being triggered by darkness, I’m in a great space to see the secrets that are being hidden in those dark corners.

Now, I can clean it out. My self-care regimen can help me to work through these old beliefs that I’m attaching to. I don’t have space for them anymore. It’s time to replace them with perspectives of truth that make my internal home warm, cozy, safe, comfortable, beautiful, loving, and inspiring. I pray for assistance to help me transform any toxic energy into light producing energy so that I’m able to project more love out into the world. The more clarity I get, the better the job I do at cleaning up the mess. I’m responsible for the upkeep, maintenance, growth, development, and expansion of my internal home.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m so grateful for the dark energy that I invited in because it showed me what areas of my internal home that still need work.
  2. I’m grateful that I’m empowered to make the changes I need to in order to shine my light.
  3. I’m grateful to God for helping me find my courage and strength to face my darkness and take responsibility for it.
  4. I’m grateful to the people who trigger my darkness because they help me to become a better version of me.
  5. I’m grateful for all the unlimited choices I have on perspectives. I love that I ALWAYS have options of how I want to look at things.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 83 – Taking Responsibility for Inviting Dark Energy into Our Internal Homes

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 83 – Taking Responsibility for Inviting Dark Energy into Our Internal Homes

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 83: Taking Responsibility for Inviting the Dark Energy into Our Internal Homes

“I think we are all advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door at 4 A.M. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends.”

-Joan Didion

We are the only ones who can invite dark toxic energy into our internal homes. We are the only ones who can turn our homes into dilapidated shacks by not taking care of them. No one is to blame for how we feel inside of us, but we are responsible. The outside world may take away choices from specific situations and we may be led down some paths that our mere physical survival is a miracle—Inside we have choices. We can write whatever story we want about our internal lives. We can connect and/or disconnect to any perspective of truth, story, feeling, and/or thought. We just have to be open enough to see that inside us is where true freedom lies.

In Part II, I wrote about accepting our pasts and releasing the unknown future. The more we can get into the NOW, the less likely that those stories from the past and the attachments to some unknown future will be used to tear apart our internal homes. Trauma therapy uses techniques to help detach a person from the story of their trauma. This doesn’t mean the trauma didn’t happen, but the story of it is what keeps it hurting us now even if the actual trauma happened decades ago.

When we let these stories live inside of us, we are living within a dilapidated shack that needs a re-model to make it the internal home of our dreams. The problem is when our internal world has a dilapidated shack at the center of it; we invite dark and toxic energy into our internal world on a regular basis. We actually are comfortable in that energy because that is where we internally live. We attract people in the physical world who will bring us the energy we feed on to comfortably live within our internal worlds. If we are attached to an internal world filled with chaos, we attract chaos. If we are attached to an internal world filled with fear, shame, blame, guilt, shame, judgment, hate, and vengeance—YOU GOT IT! The Universe will give you what you are asking by what you are projecting out. If your words to the Universe don’t match what is going on inside of you, what is going on inside of you will trump any words you speak. The darkness we invite in is our teacher for some VERY important lessons.

We are responsible for any darkness in our internal homes or dilapidated shacks. Every home will have dark spots, but if we are willing to see them, shine the light on them, and clean up that area where the darkness touched—WE HEAL!  We learn the lesson the teacher brought us. We get better! We strengthen the light within us.

Part of the process to being a better me is being able to see our own darkness with clarity. Our darkness has a beautiful purpose. It can serve us if we are willing to look at it instead of letting it grow, fester, and spread. When we attract someone to our lives that shows us our internal chaos, we have the opportunity to clean up our own darkness. We can’t assign this cleanup, remodel, and/or gut job to anybody else. If we want to change, we have to take the responsibility to look at ourselves when presented by the darkness in our physical world. If we are attaching to it, we bring it inside of us and we’ve invited it in.

6 Steps to Transforming the Darkness within Our Internal Homes

  1. Recognize the dark energy festering inside of you that was triggered by an outside source (person, animal, event, object, etc.). How are you responsible for inviting this energy in? What about this outside source created your own darkness to stir up inside of you? What about this source are you attaching to?
  2. See thought options that can shine light on your darkness. Don’t focus on changing your thoughts here, just look at your options of thoughts. What thoughts could bring peace, calm, joy, compassion, empathy, trust, faith, hope, freedom, positivity, purpose, etc. to the dark room in your home? These are your cleanup products and tools to help you fix-up any space the darkness affected. Once you know your options…
  3. Choose an action to help you turn your light on. The light switch can be prayer, dance, meditation, yoga, conscious breathing, mindfulness practices, walking, consciously exploring nature, and the list goes on and on. Many of these tools have been mentioned throughout the series.
  4. Spot the toxic waste left behind from past darkness. Be careful because toxic waste can be tricky to handle. It likes to spread poison within our homes making the structure weak. Like mold, it can hide inside our walls. The more open we are to let the darkness pass through us, the more we will be able to see any toxic spots that are trying to linger, fester, grow and spread. These are those deep belief systems (perspectives of truth) that are latching on to keep the dark thoughts that were triggered alive. The thoughts that were triggered are exposing some of the toxins left behind from long ago they show themselves as entitlement, envy, greed, sloth, vengeance, cruelty, victimhood, and rage—Just to name a few. All of these are derivatives of FEAR.
  5. START CLEANING! You see it; now clean it up with the products and tools you’ve been given. The more you get these toxic energies cleaned out, the closer you get to living and leading a purpose-filled life with a deep connection to your Divine source. Your light gets brighter the more you clean out.
  6. Be grateful for what the dark energy within you exposed. Be grateful for the teacher and the lesson. Now, the old you might have sunk into the depths of shame and guilt when you invited dark energy into your home. You might have contributed to making rooms darker and turning off more lights to the point where things around you began to fall apart and crumble. The better you has the opportunity to grow and expand from the exposed darkness. You have learned how to shine your light effectively into your home and find the secrets hidden in the walls. This is something to be EXTREMELY grateful for.

We now can create an even better space than we had before. We took responsibility for our mess and cleaned it up! So embrace the darkness and what it shows us. Fighting it and/or numbing it (addictions) will only make it stronger. We want to learn from what it has to show us. We want it to help us spot the areas we need to clean up and re-purpose. You have all the products and tools you need in this very moment. The more you use the tools you already have, the more that will become available to you in order to grow and expand from the place you are.

If you are reading this piece separately, I invite you to go back and see what you’ve missed in the series. The 90-Day A Better Me Series is like a puzzle. You want to have all the pieces to see the whole picture. Here’s a quick link to the category so that you can go back and explore what you’ve missed: https://fromalovingplace.com/category/90-day-a-better-me-series/

For best results: I suggest reading the series all the way through. You may find that by doing this you are led to people, places, and/or things that open up new doors and pathways to lead you to be living a purpose-filled life—Miracles abound! You just have to take the journey and trust that at this moment, you are exactly where you are meant to be.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s Letter from A Better Me: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 83 – Taking Responsibility for Inviting the Dark Energy into My Internal Home

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 82 – Implementing My Healthy Boundaries in Dark Situations

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 82: Implementing My Healthy Boundaries in Dark Situations

Dear Self,

I’ve learned so much on this journey of implementing my boundaries. What I’ve realized in my practice of using my healthy tools is that I no longer take on other people’s darkness. I used to feel like I had to engage in the darkness (i.e. fear) to get my point across or not be walked on by someone in their darkness, but what I realized is that by engaging in their darkness only makes me feed and spread mine. I definitely DON’T want to be doing that. I’ve learned how to listen while being lovingly unattached to their energy. I can’t say I do this perfect every time, but the more I do it, the better I get.

One of my biggest challenges in implementing my healthy boundaries is to STAY PRESENT!!! It can be very easy to be caught up in the story whether it is mine or someone else’s. When I realize I’m feeding the darkness of a story, I need to pull back and re-group because it means I got out of the present moment. People who are REALLY stuck in their darkness will have story after story filled with blame, shame, guilt, judgment, victimhood, and hate it may be aimed at me or someone else, but if a person isn’t taking any personal responsibility for where they are, they are lost in darkness. I don’t help them by feeding into it. If and when I stay present, my other natural healthy boundaries fall into line. If I’m challenged to stay present, it just means I have to work a little harder to stay in my light.

It is such a blessing not to feel obligated to take on someone else’s darkness. When I remind myself of that, I don’t feel the weight of someone else’s energy. I don’t try to control their journey or get tied to their story. I can step back and remind myself that the only person I am responsible for is me. What they choose to do with their energy is their business. If I shine my light and they see it, it means they have a want to get out of their own darkness. If they don’t see it, they are comfortable where they are and they will be until the darkness gets too much for them to handle.

My calmness can help to ease and lift some of the dark energy in the room. If my darkness isn’t triggered by their darkness it brings light into the situation whether they want to be apart of it or not. I’m protected in the calm. I can think clearly when I’m calm, present, and not attaching to any of their story.

When I struggle with implementing my tools, I pray! PRAY! And PRAY SOME MORE! There are times where I feel the fear creeping up in me so I know that I’m not fueling the energy of what I stand for and those are the times I need to pray the most. I pray for guidance and that the words coming out of my mouth are will come from a loving place. I pray that I’m guided to take action in a way that serves the best possible outcome in the situation. I pray for the courage and strength to stay in my light. I know when I pray; I’m focused on being the best I can be in the moment.

People who are trapped in their darkness aren’t seeking to hurt me personally. They may be trying to hurt what I represent in their heads, but what I represent in their heads has nothing to do with who I really am. It is a distorted image created by their own darkness. This is not personal. They are looking at me through a story based on perspectives of truth led by fear. I may be the villain or the vandal in their story because I’m not engaging in their darkness with them and that’s ok. They are where they are. If I keep feeling, thinking, believing, and acting from a loving place, I’m being true to me. I won’t leave the situation with any regrets because I will trust exactly how the exchange went. I will take the lessons I need to make me better, and then I get to move on. I’m free!

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m so incredibly grateful that I have the tools to keep me out of someone else’s darkness.
  2. I’m grateful I have healthy boundaries because it means I’m taking care of me.
  3. I’m grateful that I know that I’m always exactly where I’m supposed to be in this moment.
  4. I’m grateful for the power of long deep breaths.
  5. I’m grateful that EVERYDAY I do the work, I get better.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff © 2019

Read Today’s Installment to get 10 Essentials to Implementing Healthy Boundaries in Dark Situations: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 82 – Implementing Healthy Boundaries in Dark Situations

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 70 – Doing What I Love

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 70: Doing What I Love

Dear Self,

You are just as important as all of the people I serve, so I’m honoring our journey by committing to do things I love daily. I want move through life with the energy of doing what I love to do. I know that by doing this, I will manifest more of what I love and will attract others around me who share my passions. There is no good reason not to spend time doing what I love to do daily. I know I might not be able to everything I love in one day, but I will commit to doing something I love EVERYDAY!

Here is a list of things I love doing:

  • Dancing to music with positive messages
  • Writing
  • Walking around the lake to look at the birds gathering at the island at the center of the lake
  • Nature walks and hiking off-trail
  • Going to the dog beach with my dog
  • Laughing
  • Yoga
  • Quality time with my family
  • Quality time with my friends
  • Quiet time to meditate and quiet my brain
  • Helping others discover their best selves
  • Eating flavorful foods
  • Spending Time Communicating with the Divine

With this list there is no excuses!  I can even add more things I love, because as I engage in this energy, more space will open up. I know if I don’t make time for doing the things I love, it’s because I’m not on my priority list and when I’m not on my priority list, things fall through the cracks. So, why not? I deserve my own time! The people I love deserve me to be operating as the best version of myself too.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful that I can MAKE time to do the things I love.
  2. I’m grateful for the energy I feel when I’m doing the things I love.
  3. I’m grateful for the joy that I feel when get to share my love with others.
  4. I’m grateful for today as an opportunity to do what I love to do.
  5. I’m grateful when I notice when it’s a good time to do what I love.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Are you doing what you love? 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 70 – Doing What We Love

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 62 -I’m MAKING the Time to CREATE the Life I WANT Today!

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 62: I’m MAKING the Time to CREATE the Life I WANT Today!

Dear Universe,

I’m making the time to create the life I want today. I trust you Universe to provide the space to help me take care of my energy and give me the time to do the things I need to do in order to work on me. I will commit specific times to do something to contribute to practices that will help me keep my energy in the best place possible. I will trust that if I need more time than what I’m giving myself that you will create the space for me.

I know that I can make the most of each moment I have or use up my energy complaining about not having time. That moment is time I have to do something different. I can choose to be grateful in that moment in time instead of being in a place of lack of time. I’m making more space as my mind is open to be creative with the energy I’m putting out there.

I’m choosing to the twists and turns of life as opportunities for me to commit my time to making the most out of the moment by seeing what I can learn and how I can grow. I’m making the time to create the life I want. Even right now, I’m choosing to write this letter to help me stay in the space of my growth and expansion. I could be choosing to watch TV or be on social media, but in this moment, this is what I made the time to do. I feel great about my decision.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for the miracle of space and time.
  2. I’m grateful for the choices I can make to give me more time.
  3. I’m grateful to the Universe that helps find me the time I need.
  4. I’m grateful to my perspectives of truth for allowing me to grow and expand.
  5. I’m grateful for the people who are brought into my life who inspire me to live my best life.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 62 – Clearing Space to Re-Create Our Lives

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 6 – My Fear of Religion

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part I: A Journey of Awareness

What Holds Us Back: The Unstable Foundation

Day 6: My Fear of Religion

Dear Creator,

I believe in you with all my heart. Sometimes in my belief of you I get very confused about whether to love or fear you. Sometimes I get messages to fear you, but that doesn’t make sense to me based on what my belief about what love is. I see you as an unimaginable presence of love. I think that there is so much more to you than any human will ever understand.  Through my belief of love and what you are, it doesn’t feel right to judge, persecute, shame, or fear what others think about you. I feel like that is your personal relationship with them.  I know that through my confusion with you I have struggled with what you represent, what to call you, and how to interpret different stories I read. How can I expect that others haven’t gone through or are going through the same thing?

I even remember going through times of fearing you so much to think that you were punishing me. I felt like you hated me. Those were the darkest times in my life. I know I had to find my way back to you, not out of any obligation but because it didn’t feel right to be disconnected from you. That was my own personal journey. It wasn’t because of what any book was telling me. I felt like I was rejecting apart of me. I feared my own personal spirituality and had to take a journey to find the path that felt right for me. This journey led me to find so much love. Each time I see love I see you.

I’m choosing not to fear other people’s religious choices because I really would like to be in search of the love within a person’s heart. I want to hear the stories that were passed down to them expressing love and how to treat others with love. I know that I get what I focus on, so fearing religion feels dangerous to me in so many  ways. I know there are going to be individuals from every religion and walk of life who are going to choose to walk in fear and therefor hurt others and themselves, but that is because that individual made a personal choice.

If I believe my path to stay connected to you is living life from a loving place, then I need to do my best to engage in loving actions towards myself in others. If others attempt to hurt me, I have to show myself love by creating boundaries and sometimes walking away. If I feel the call to express love in the face of fear, I will trust that you are watching over me and will guide me.  I’ve seen more miracles than I can count. I know your power personally.  Your love opens me up. My fears shut me down.

Please help me stay in a loving place and help me be aware when my fears about religion and spirituality creep in.  My fear of you doesn’t serve anyone. My fear of what others believe in/of you doesn’t serve anyone. My love for you serves myself and all the lives I touch, not because of my personal definition of you, but because my love for you opens me up to show love in my actions.  Thank you for lighting a path for me to understand that difference.

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff © 2019

Companion Piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 6 – The Fear of Religion

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 1 – Welcome to the Journey

Letters From A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Day 1: Welcome to the Journey

Dear Readers,

Welcome to the journey of A Better Me. This letters piece of the journey is about connecting to the material in the 90-Day A Better Me Series. One of the things I’ve learned in my experience is that if I can’t make the journey personal, it’s not my journey. I won’t absorb the material in the same way as I do if I’m truly connected to it.

Since I’ve re-written my own story again and again using letters, I wanted to pass on one of the most essential tools in my own tool box. I’ve been amazed at what writing letters has done in my life. This helped me more than just journaling because writing a letter to myself or someone else gets me to engage deeper. The letters become personal contracts to live better.  I fully commit to feeling through whatever is going on inside of me at the time. I found that to be an AMAZING healing and transformative tool. Writing letters helps me to remember that I’m writing my own story. I need to commit to being the leading role.

Part I of the series is meant to stir up your emotions. If the program is working, you will get triggered. You will see yourself more openly. You will have opportunities to make better choices today. This journey is a process. In Part I, I’m peeling back the layers to expose the toxic muck that is keeping you from living your best life. In Part II, I help you to heal and strengthen. In Part III, you will get tools galore on how to grow and expand y to be the best version of yourself. Your relationships will shift and change as you take this journey. Trust the path!

I hope that if you stick to this journey, you will get what you need to become the best version of yourself, the program opens you up to see signs, guidance, teachers, and/or students. This is just the beginning. If you need extra guidance, I have a program that acts as a supplement to any personal development program you are using and/or want to start using. You will see a little more about that throughout the series. For now, enjoy this 90-Day journey. You can read it daily, like a book, or pick and choose what you need. This journey is yours. Just go to CATEGORIES to have direct access to both series.

Remember each day comes with a companion piece on the 90-Day A Better Me Series. Don’t forget to read and follow on long in order to get the most out of the experience. Read today’s here: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 1-A Commitment for 2019

 

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2019