90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 63 – Practicing Mindfulness

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 63: Practicing Mindfulness

“The spirit in which you do something is often as important as the act itself.”

-Mark Williams and Danny Penman, Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World, pg. 114

In preparation for today, I pulled out my copy of Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic Worldby Mark Williams and Danny Penman. I haven’t touched this book since I read it in school. I opened the book to the page above and read the quote. The energy we put into whatever we are doing affects us. It also affects the energy of the situation we are going into. Then our energy moves with us coming out of the moment and moves into the next. Mindfulness helps us to be conscious of what we are bringing in and what we are taking out of any situation.

Now, there are tons of books, articles, YouTube videos, seminars, and practitioners who teach mindfulness techniques. We are just scratching the surface with today’s topic. My hope is that you will take the seed and find ways to make it grow into something amazing in your life. Mindfulness is an essential step in the path to inner peace.

Today, I’m focusing on mindfulness practices you can do as a part of your daily life. The more we can stay in the moment we are in, the more we will be able to come in and out of situations while staying conscious and in-tune with what is going on inside and around us.

We do many things operating in autopilot, which is like fast-forwarding life. Our minds aren’t where we are. We open ourselves up to being hurt physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually by moving too fast for our feet. Slowing down to be where are feet are is a way we can practice mindfulness. I will give examples of exercises throughout the day to help you add more mindfulness practices to your life. Like I said, these are just a jumping off point. Let these exercises be the spark for more.

Morning Mindfulness Practices

  • The moment you wake-up, take a deep long breath in through your nose for ten seconds. Hold your breath for three seconds. Then release the breath for ten seconds. Do this three times. Make sure you are counting the seconds. This will help you from getting distracted by those thoughts waiting to come in.
  • When you get out of bed, feel the sensations running through your body. Enjoy the feeling of a stretch as you get out of bed. What does that feel like? Take your time to greet the day. If your mind starts going into your to-do list, slow down and just focus on connecting to the way your body feels after being in a resting state.
  • While you are in the shower, focus your energy on what the water feels like as it touches your skin. Feel the pressure of the water and when you are lather up the soap and putting it on your head, enjoy the sensations of the head message. I like to use shampoo and conditioner with mint in it because it makes the sensations very apparent. That is my reminder to stay in the moment. Make sure you like what your products smell like. It will help you want to connect to the moment.
  • As you get dressed, pay attention to the way you put each item of clothing on your body. What arm do you put your shirt in first? Do you put the shirt over your head before you put your arms in? What foot goes in your underwear first? What shoe do you put on first? What does it feel like as you move to get ready?
  • While you are drinking your morning beverage, take your time with each sip that goes into your mouth. Smell the beverage as it goes under your nose. Feel the fluid move around your mouth, to the back of your throat, and through the swallowing process. Be conscious of all the sensations.
  • Take time to savor your breakfast. Before the food even touches your mouth—Smell it. Enjoy the different smells as they interact together. Then feel how the utensils you have to use feel against your hands. Pay attention to the way your body moves to get the food to your mouth. Then as you put the food in your mouth take time to chew it and feel the sensations as the food sits on your taste buds.

Transportation

Stay away from your distracting electronics!
  • While walking outside, look around to take notice of your surroundings. Pay close attention to what is on your path. Look up and see what is around you. Pay attention to nature as you walk. Be right where you are. Enjoy the moment you are in. Acknowledge the life that is around you. If a person walks by, look them in the eye and greet them. If you see an animal, watch them as they watch you.
  • If you are riding bikes, motorcycles, golf carts, etc., feel the sensation of the breeze. Pay attention to how your legs and arms feel. Feel your heart pumping. Keep focused on whatever you are seeing, smelling, feeling, hearing, and if applicable tasting. Use every sense you can.
  • In the car, pay attention to what you hear inside and outside of the car. What does the seat feel like against your skin? What does your foot feel like as you touch the gas and/or brake? What is going through you if someone cuts you off? Did you give yourself enough space? Are you letting another person’s energy affect yours while you are driving? What is keeping you present driving? What is distracting? What does the weather look like? How is the weather affecting the sensations you are feeling in the car?
  • You get a lot of opportunities if you are in a train, taxi, subway, Uber, Lyft, etc.  Take it all in! Use all your senses to stay in the moment and be aware of everything you are seeing outside of you and feeling inside of you. Take the time to look around and see the nature around you. Pay attention to the buildings, sidewalks, people, cars, etc. See if you can get through the whole ride being in the moment. Even if that moment is talking to others, be with them in the conversation. Pay attention to their voices, body language, words, and practice active listening.

Daily Duties

  • At work, practice using all your senses to get you from one point in the day to the next. If you use a computer and your mind starts getting overwhelmed. Pay attention to what your fingers feel like on the keys. If you are constantly interacting with people make sure to take deep breaths and be in the conversation with them. Listen, many times people are telling us important details that we miss if we are thinking about what we are going to say or trying to find ways to end the conversation. You can find mindfulness anytime you engage your senses.
  • Shopping is a fun way to explore your mindfulness. Use your senses as you go through the store. Look up and smile at individuals. Enjoy the experience of smelling, tastings, hearing, seeing, and feeling. Be conscious of what you feel inside as you interact with people and/or things. Acknowledge to yourself what you are feeling. If you don’t like the way you feel, ask yourself what are other feelings you could feel by interpreting the situation differently. Give yourself space to explore other perspectives. If you have a thought that feels better, sit with it for a few seconds. Notice that shift as you move into the next moment.
  • When you going to the bathroom, slow down! Enjoy this break from all the doing and just enjoy the being. Take this time to practice breathing slowly. Bathrooms can be a very peaceful place if we take advantage of the space to just breath and do what our body needs us to do to release what doesn’t belong there anymore.
  • As you’re cooking or being cooked for, smell, taste, touch, and look at each item you are putting into your dish. Pay close attention to the colors, texture, and sensations that move through you as you clean, cut, chop, drop, each item into the master plan. If you are at a restaurant, pay attention to each bite of food.
  • When you are washing dishes feel the water running over your hands. Feel the softness of the soapy bubbles touching your skin. Listen to the noise of the water moving and the dishes clanging. See the how each item comes in and out of your path.

Bedtime

  • Writing in a gratitude journal is a practice in appreciating your mindfulness throughout the day. As we are more mindful throughout the day we appreciate each of our moments in a fuller way. We begin projecting, manifesting, and attracting abundance by hearing, seeing, touching, tasting, and smelling more consciously throughout our day. We become more mindful of our interactions with others as we write about our experiences through the context of gratitude.
  • Put on your nightwear being fully conscious of every decision you are making. Just like putting your clothes on in the morning, be conscious of what limb is going where. Pay attention to your motions and the inner sensations as each item touches your skin.
  • Turn off all electronics and just sit, listen, feel, smell, and breath. Give yourself time to actively release your day before you shut your eyes.

 

Mindfulness is a practice. The more we practice, the better we get. Be patient with yourself. The people who feel our lack of mindfulness most are the people we are closest to. We not only serve ourselves with our mindfulness, we serve all the lives we touch.

Peace on the inside will create peace on the outside. We will benefit from our mindfulness practices as we proceed with the rest of Part III.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 63 – Benefits of Practicing Mindfulness in My Daily Life

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 62 – Clearing Space to Re-Create Our Lives

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 62: Clearing Space to Re-Create Our Lives

“The most important choice you make is what you choose to make important.”

-Michael Neill

We make room for what is important. Our priorities are how we dictate the time we are willing to commit to something. We have to decide how much this journey means to us. How important is living a quality life? Our words don’t mean anything, and our actions mean EVERYTHING when it comes to what we are willing to give to our journeys. There is no room for excuses. If you can’t make the time, you are saying creating the time not your priority.

“Telling yourself that you don’t have enough time for something is a lousy excuse because you NEVER ‘have’ time, you MAKE time!”

-James Malinchak

No more excuses! We have to be willing to MAKE the time re-create our lives or else we are saying, it’s not our priority. For me writing this 90-Day A Better Me Series has been an amazing experience about creating the time for my writing. I used to make excuses that I didn’t have the time to write EVERYDAY. Well, I’ve been writing two pieces or more for 62 days now. This series was important to me, so I made the time. I know how much focusing on this material does to improve my life. I’ve noticed huge differences in how quick I process through different challenges. I’ve also noticed all the blessings that have come with focusing my energy here. Since the gratitude section in Part Two, I’ve even implemented using the gratitude in my daily Letters from A Better Me portion of the series. Making the time to implement that has created so much more space for more things to be grateful for and it has been an AMAZING process even when I’ve had some interesting challenges in the midst of it all.

“Don’t waste your breath proclaiming what’s really important to you. How you spend your time says it all.”

-Eric Zorn

Clearing space to re-create our lives is a choice. A choice only we can make. Only we know whether or not we are ready to make the choice towards love or fear. If you are like me and you’re working on creating a peaceful inner world to contribute to a more peaceful outer world or you have been trying the same thing over and over and nothing is working to help you to find joy in the life your living, well clearing the space is an essential step.

We have to make room for the changes we want to see. This means we have to commit daily time to living our journey and doing the work required to transform our lives.

  • Where can you fit you into your schedule?
  • How important is it for you to be in your schedule?

If you want to change anything in your life, then you better move yourself to the top of your priority list. I’m always amazed how I am able to clear space for the things that matter to me and how much I can get done when I stop telling myself I don’t have the time. Being in our heads sucks up our energy to do the work that needs to be done in order to create the lives we want for ourselves.

If living our journeys is important, we MAKE the time!

The miracle that comes with this practice is once we put ourselves on the top of the priority list, things start shifting opening up space. This can be a little strange, because it may mean someone you spend regular time on moves out of your life, or plans change and get cancelled, or something like an accident on the highway slows us down, but these are all opportunities to make the time to our own journeys. What are you going to do with that time? Our energy can create miracles or blocks. Make sure the energy you are putting out is going to the right place.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 62 -I’m MAKING the Time to CREATE the Life I WANT Today!

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 61 – Rebuilding Our Lives on a Stable Foundation

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 61: Rebuilding Our Lives on a Stable Foundation

 “If the house is crooked and crumbling, and the land on which it sits uneven, is it possible to make anything lie straight?”

–Katherine Boo, Behind the Beautiful Foreversp. 254

This quote is where we began on Day 2: Understanding the Journey of Awareness. We spent Part One looking at all our blocks that kept our inner foundation unstable and kept us from being satisfied with the houses we created on the unstable land. Then in Part Two: The Journey of Perspective, we worked on fixing our foundations to make them stable and worthy of building on. We sifted through the fear-based perspectives and replaced them with the energy of love coming from the inside out. Now, we are ready for Part Three: Living the Journey. This is where we take action steps to build on this new foundation and create a house and garden that make us shine. The foundation we are building on now will grow and expand with us. Our houses no longer deteriorate because now we are AWARE of what creates the problems so we are able to fix them at the source before it takes down our house. We can choose to re-model our houses and/or re-frame them as time goes on. We are choosing our changes consciously.

Let’s check some boxes:

  • Awareness our fear-based thinking holding us back
  • Acceptance of our pasts
  • Acceptance of the unknown future
  • Consciousness about the perspectives of truth we are choosing to live by
  • Commitment to live in the energy of love
  • Commitment to live in gratitude
  • Ready to take action

Let’s start the process of rebuilding from our new foundation. Is our land going to be perfect? Not a chance! What we do have is tools to keep it maintained and get rid of any left over toxic muck as is comes up to the surface. Some of our fear-based perspectives of truth are buried deep down and they take longer to surface, but once they do we are ready for it. We are able to process the feelings, work through them and replace the old pattern with something that works better in our lives. Just remember this all takes time. Be patient! Our canvas won’t be complete until we have taken our last breath.

Rebuilding takes work. The more you want to change and shift, the more work you have to put in. No one is forcing you to build your house or create your garden on any time line, but here is the truth of it all. If you don’t do the work and keep up with it, the foundation will become unstable again and anything you try to create on top of toxic land will crumble, fall, and die. Now, when I say work there are instant perspectives of truth that will relate to what work means to you. I’m a believer in working smart. In my perspective working hard has a connotation of fear to it. If I don’t work hard, “I will fail” come into my mind the thought creates stress in my feelings, thoughts, and choices. In this mindset people can become workaholics and can neglect their well-being for the sake of working hard. My method is to work smart. For me, that feels better and causes me less anxiety and stress. It’s good to check-in with yourself on words and concepts to see how they make you feel, because it will affect the energy you put out into the world. If working hard fuels you with the right type of energy to go for it and doesn’t fill you with expectations and attachments related to fear, then use it. Whatever you need to do for you.

During this month we will be building on our foundations built on the energies of faith, hope, gratitude, and love. We will be creating beautiful gardens in our mind and committing to keep working on being the best we can be in each moment we are given.

Living the journey is about letting go of the thinking that keeps us from being present.  We start engaging in the energy that puts us where our feet are. This journey is about embracing the moment we are in, learning to slow down, and taking the steps we need to in order to create a reality that we want to be living in. We can find joy in a single step, hope in the shape of clouds, faith in the energy of Divine love, and gratitude for each breath we are able to take, step we are able to walk, sunset we are see, fruit we are able to taste, and feeling we are able to have. This is a journey about appreciating the moments we are given and letting that energy of gratitude take us into a reality better than we could ever imagine.

Since this section is all about the work, there will be no “Just for Today” section. You choose how much you want a better life and do the work you need to do to get it. If you do the work, your life will change. No one can do it for you. You have to decide.

So, let me ask you—Are you in?

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 61 – I’m Ready to Rebuild My Life

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 60 – Right Here and NOW

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 60: Right Here and NOW

“Enjoy the moment, not the end result.”

-Lee Ann Womack

Today is the day to redefine our lives. Nothing before today or after today is real—It’s a story. Everything is how we define it to be. It doesn’t matter what the story of our past is or what the dreams of our future are if we are not living in today. We actively destroy the good stuff from coming into our lives by focusing on anywhere but RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW.

Take the lessons from the past, but leave the story behind. Have goals for the future but leave the attachment to your happiness behind. What we feel, what we think, what we believe, how we act, and how we respond and/or react in this moment will dictate each step that falls after that. This is not the time to be going into autopilot.

What are you going to choose to do today to contribute to you living your best life right now?

Most of us (including me) aren’t going to do this perfectly, so don’t put that expectation on yourself. What will make the most difference is doing the best we can in each moment we are conscious. The more we practice to bring ourselves back to the moment, the longer we will be able to stay in the moment.

What are the things that connect you to the present moment?

We want to have touchstones that remind us to pay attention to what is going on right now, such as spotting things in nature, a specific daily time to read, meditate, pray, exercise, walk, etc. It’s not about what I do to get me into my present moment; it’s about picking the things that touch your life.

I know I’ve talked about this before, but this is so important that it is worth mentioning again, especially knowing that even if you have read this entire series, you will probably retain about 10% of the material, and it will be the parts that you associate most with right now. That 10% is the seeds you decide to plant. You will have some seeds you hold onto for later that will all the sudden pop up in your mind out of nowhere. They usually will come up in a moment of presence. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been out walking and all the sudden remember something I saw, read, or listened to that is the perfect tool to use in my current situation. When we are quite, we leave space for our prayers to be answered—Seeds appear. There will also be plenty of seeds in my work that don’t fit into the beautiful foundation that you are creating for yourself. You may give them to someone else or toss them aside. This is your life. The more we can live in right here and right now, the more connected we will be to the choices we make.

We want to make sure we are putting our energy where we want it to be. We can only do that if we stay present. If we don’t work on our practices in presence, which we will talk more about in Part III, we will continue to be swept away by fear-based ways of thinking. When we practice presence, we start to see things as they are building up inside. We may start noticing when we are triggered after we already yelled back in a fear-based way. Then with practice, we might catch ourselves mid-scream. With more practice, we start catching it the moment before a scream is about to leave our mouths. With even more practice, we start spotting it as the feelings start stirring inside us. Here’s where the practice gets really awesome! We will start noticing another person’s energy as they begin to engage with us. We will be able to see if they are coming from a place of love or fear. We’ve slowed down enough to start asking them questions to see their own perspective clearly, then we can respond to them from a loving place to allow them the opportunity to see our perspective without telling them we are right and they are wrong. This may take years for some especially if we come from a childhood where screaming was a normal occurrence.

The more we connect to the present moment, the less attached we become to the stories that keep us hostage to our pasts and prisoners of our unknown future. We begin to authentically interact with the people in front of us. There is a reason I have chosen each day of this journey to represent what it does in this 90-Day series. This is a process and not one we will get fully the first time we read through and start practicing. We have a lot of undoing in order to start re-building. Presence makes it clear what in us we need to work through to be in the best place to create the lives we actually want.

Just for Today

  • What choices are you making right now to live better than you did yesterday? Be conscious of your feelings, thoughts, beliefs, stories, actions, reactions, responses, and where your feet literally are in this moment.
  • How is what you are doing right now working for or against you? Now, decide to do something better in this moment.  Anytime you catch yourself, just slow down and make a choice to do something right now that will make things better for the moment you are in.

NO BEATING YOURSELF UP for not doing things perfect. We talked about the detriments of that in Part I.

The more we can focus on the person we are being in this very moment, the more successful we will be at achieving abundance in our lives.

Tomorrow, we are moving into Part III: Living the Journey. I hope you will continue to transform with me. Enjoy today!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 60 -Right Here and Now I’m Free

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 59 – Attracting the Energy of Love

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 59: Attracting the Energy of Love

“The state of our inner being directly influences our behavior, which in turn influences how people respond to us.”

-Cheryl Pallant

On Day 58, I wrote about manifesting love, now we will dive into the idea a little further by moving into attracting the energy of love. Once we have our self-love in place, we project that loving energy out to the Universe. We begin manifesting the magic that self-love has to offer us out in the world. Finally, what we project out and manifest is what we attract back to us. This is the Law of Attraction along with a religious/spiritual concept many of us know, we reap what we sow.

Yesterday (Day 58), I told the story about the list I wrote to attempt to attract my ideal romantic partner, and how through my journey I stopped even looking for this partner because I felt complete and full of joy with the life I had created from my self-love. When my pendulum calmed down to the relaxed position where I was at peace. I became ready to see the door to allow space for a healthy relationship to enter my life. I prayed:

“God, if you have a person you feel would be a good fit in this life I love, please make the space for him to come in.”

I had to open the door in order to allow the manifestation of this energy to come back to me in the way I had originally asked for—I was ready when he arrived at my door.

About three years after the relationship began, I found all my lists and letters to the Universe. I couldn’t believe how many check boxes he filled on this very long list. This didn’t mean the relationship has been perfect. I had to learn with my request for my partner’s actions to tell me he loved me, meant I didn’t hear “I love you” for a year into the relationship. His actions told me…I got EXACTLY what I asked for. The Universe can be quite literal.  I also have gotten plenty of lessons on the things I still need to work on. I can tell when I get triggered; I have some self-examination to get into. I’m attracting back what I put out. If I’m faced with fear, I have to look at where the fear is coming from inside of me.

I have learned how to attract an abundance of love to my life, not just in my romantic relationship, but also through my relationships with family, friends, nature, community, and thanks to this blog and the From A Loving Place Facebook page, globally. I love, honor, and appreciate all the love I’m able to give out, and what I’m able to attract back to me. I visualize the infinity symbol when I think about how the energy of love works. This energy is available to ANYONE who wants to jump into this stream of loving energy.

If you haven’t been reading the series or if you need a reminder, this doesn’t mean challenges aren’t going to come your way. This doesn’t mean that you won’t get knocked off your feet from time to time with a life lesson. This doesn’t mean that good people, animals, and other life forms won’t die and cause you tremendous grief. My perspective of truth tells me there is a reason for all the pain, hardships, loss, and devastation. I believe in Divine purpose. I believe every life serves a greater purpose, sometimes that means the life won’t be with us long. Other times the life may last over 100 years.

If I attract a life to mine that only is in my life or on this planet for a short time, I need to look at what that life brought to my life (remember we are looking at this from a perspective of love, not fear). This could be a human, animal, or any other living organism that we’ve chosen to love and be loved by. Any life that was touched by the life that was lost got to experience the magic, compassion, blessings, joy, love, laughter, empathy, tenderness, and peace that love brings to our lives.

The more self-love we have, the more we can feel the love that is coming back to us for whatever time we have been blessed with. We also stop confusing love and fear and the feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions that come from each of them. When we stay aware, there is always more love available to us if that is what we are attracting from our own inner well of self-love.

We have to become a self-filling well of love so that we can create that beautiful garden in our minds. Our self-love nourishes our gardens and makes the space grow and expand to attract more beautiful species into it. These are the seeds we get from the love that we’ve attracted to our lives. Each life that touches ours comes with blessings. Even if it takes a lot of pain and time to find the blessings—They are there waiting to be discovered.

How much love do you want to attract to your life? Whatever the answer is, that is how much love you have to give yourself. Don’t be afraid of your own capacity to love. Once you sort through the layers of blocks that keep you from attracting love outside of you and the perspectives of truth that keep you from giving yourself the love, attention, and affection you deserve, you will be set free to project, manifest, and attract love all over the place. The awe of a bird soaring in the sky might bring you to tears. Seeing a waterfall can make your heart sing. Watching the clouds roll through could inspire joy within you. You may start crying at any sentimental moment you watch on TV or video, but it’s not longing it’s feeling the love within you swell up. The world begins changing before your very eyes. The people who come into your life whether it be in person or across the world are tremendous gifts of the love you are putting out there. Stay in gratitude! You will attract so many blessings to your life.

This energy can’t be faked. You can’t pretend to love yourself and expect to have the good flowing into your life. You have to fully feel the love inside of you first to attract the love you actually want. If you don’t, you may attract a person who says the words, but the actions don’t match up. We attract whatever energy we project out into the Universe. Believe me, I know. I attracted a narcissist to my life trying the fake it until you make it method of self-love. I got a very long lesson on how important it was for me to love myself and create healthy boundaries.

Just for Today

Investigate these thoughts:

  • Are your doors open to attract the love you want into your life?
  • Are you treating yourself the way you need to in order to attract the love you want to you?
  • How do you need to invest the time in you to attract more love in your life?

When you notice how magical this process is, you will never be the same.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 59 – Attracting the Energy of Love to My Life

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 58 – Manifesting Love through Self-Love

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 58: Manifesting Love through Self-Love

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”

-Lucille Ball

Are you ready to create love in your life? This can be romance, friendship, familial, animal, nature, communal, and/or global. You know when you are ready by the amount of love you have for yourself. The more love you have for yourself, the more love you can manifest in your life. The greatest gift of the writing I do and the life I live is the amount of love I have to give and the amount I’m able to receive. There is never too much love to give or to be given. The illusion of giving too much comes from giving ourselves away, and that isn’t about love. We have to love ourselves first so that we don’t give ourselves away (Day 28). We are responsible for seeing our own value and worth (Day 52). This makes it possible to create healthy boundaries from a loving place (Day 53). This is how we make the Law of Attraction work for us.

One of the first things I did to manifest the love I actually wanted in my life was to make a list of what I wanted in a romantic partner. This list was a few pages long. I didn’t leave anything out. Now, this list was different than any of the lists I have ever written. When I wrote this list I was conscious of how energy works. I had to make sure my energy was matching what I said I wanted. Then I had to make sure nowhere on this list did I make this wonderful person responsible for my feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions. I didn’t focus on the future plans that I wanted with the person, because as I’ve said before in the series, that creates expectations and we stop seeing the person in front of us. I focused on the person and the qualities I was looking for. I was very careful not to put the energy of against into this list. This is similar to what I was talking about on Day 57 about representing the energy of what we stand for. It all falls under the same concept. Making this list was only a small piece in the puzzle.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”

-Oscar Wilde

The larger piece was having to turn the list around onto me, because we can only attract what we already have inside. This is where the real work came in. This is why the list plays a large part my 35-Day A Better Me Boot CampThe love affair we have with ourselves, is the most important of all love affairs we will ever have. It dictates how every other love story in our lives will go. Including our spiritual connection with the Creator of Universe itself. We have to know self-love before we can even begin to accept the love that our Creator has for us. Just like any other love, we will sabotage any level of love that goes beyond the love we feel for ourselves. We inject our fears into the love, which creates the stories of not enough, too much, and expectations. All these things are apart of our own self-sabotage.

The original list became the list of things I needed to work on to manifest this love outside of myself. During this process, I stopped seeking love outside of myself because I found my joy and peace within myself. I started manifesting amazing friendships, adventures, and opportunities to experience so much love. I felt full and complete within myself. I didn’t feel like my life was missing anything. So much so, that for a little bit I went to the other extreme of not allowing the Universe to make space for romance to come into my life. I see it like the pendulum swinging. I went from one extreme to the other, then with time settled into a relaxed place in the middle. I will go more into all the things we can attract by manifesting this love in our lives on Day 59.

Turning the list around onto what I needed to do and how I needed to work on treating myself was the inspiration for so much of the work I do now with individuals who are struggle to live life from a loving place. It all begins with us seeing and loving the people we are. I accept the lessons this body has to teach me, so I love my body for it. I accept the lessons my circumstances have to teach me, so I love my life for them. I accept the lessons that people come into my life to teach me, so I love what I have the ability to create from my experiences with them. I accept the gifts I’ve been given, so I love sharing my perspectives with others.

The energy of gratitude and love takes over our lives when we have this love affair with ourselves. We become aware of the miracles self-love creates in our lives and in the lives of others who are able to accept the love that we have to give. We see the world through different lens. Our prejudices, blocks, drama, chaos, and fear-based perspectives of truth (beliefs) fall away little by little. We become open to manifest love in our lives beyond what we could have ever imagined, because that love is coming from inside of us. It opens our eyes to see the love available in the world and creates more. If you’ve been reading this series, and your wondering if this is one of those times tears are running down my face…YES!

I honestly never knew how life-transforming self-love could be. I used to read thousands of self-help books that had beautiful concepts, but the problem was I struggled to apply them to my life. Self-love made the faraway concepts come to life. If you are not getting what you want from life, look inside. The answers to what we are manifesting, whether it is love or hate/fear (Day 24), all reside within the perspectives of truth (Days 42-46) we are living by and how we are using those to treat ourselves.

Love yourself enough to contribute to the changes you want to see in your world and the world around you.

Just for Today

Make your list! Create the ideal friend, partner, and/or family member to help you figure out how you need to work on having your love affair with yourself. What we want to attract from someone else is the qualities we want in ourselves. We have to make sure they are in-line with what we feel and how we treat ourselves to manifest this level of love in our lives. We will dig deeper into this in Part III.

Enjoy this journey! This is the love affair that will create true magic in your life. Don’t take it for granted.

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece:90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 58 – Manifesting Love in My Life

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 57 – Being Clear on What You Stand For

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 57: Being Clear on What We Stand For

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.”

-Maya Angelou

When we come from a place of love for ourselves, we can clearly see what we stand for. We don’t try to conform to fit into other people’s journeys. We honor ours. “Normal” is a container that we don’t belong in. We are open to serve our purpose with clarity, love, and compassion. We each have our own unique ways of giving back, paying it forward, and standing up to represent the changes we want to see in the world. None of us are going to do this the exact same way. What is important is that we are being clear on what we stand for and that we are engaging the light (love) within us, not the dark (fear) within us.

In Part I of this series I talked about the energy of against (Day 23). This is an energy that can easily blind us. This is where our fears, rage, anger, entitlement, and/or hatred can take over and take the energy away from what we are really standing for. Fear represents the dark spots within us. These are the spots that need light in order not to create toxic blocks. It’s not about the word against, but the energy that is put into the word. If we are so angry that we are using that as fuel to guide us, we are breathing darkness into the situation. We are dimming our light.

If we can step back and remember the wise words of Mother Teresa,

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We can step back, gain some perspective and thoroughly look at those feelings of against and figure out how to transform them into what we actually stand for.

Here are just a few examples:

  • I’m against racism/ I’m for treating each other as equals
  • I’m against sexual harassment/ I’m for individuals getting treated with respect
  • I’m against drugs/ I’m for individuals finding healthy ways to experience life
  • I’m against war/ I’m for finding ways to communicate through our different perspectives

Be clear on what makes you want to stand up for. Be clear by being responsible for the energy you are putting into your actions. I’m brought to tears of love and compassion when I see men and women speaking about what they stand for, but if all I can hear from the message is what their against, I stop listening and I’m done. This is one of the things that make politics difficult for me to watch. I find it harder and harder to figure out what people are standing for. One of my favorite authors, Marianne Williamson (quoted multiple times in this series) has been activist and working her way into the political scene. She first ran in California. I wondered how she was going to be able to use her powerful voice in politics. Now, she has announced that she is running for President in 2020. I listened to her speeches and I was brought to tears. I watched her interviews with very skeptical reporters, and I was brought to tears. I knew exactly what her messages represented and what she stood for.

There have been politicians on both the Republican and Democratic side who I heard the messages of what they stood for, it doesn’t matter if I believe in the same things they do, I just want to hear people’s passion for their causes without attacking others for not believing the same things or having different ideas. Every society is built from many different perspectives of truth. If we are just focusing on whether a person is from one political party or another, we can miss seeing the human standing up in front of us. This human is responsible for being the voice for many different perspectives of truth.

Think of a family, churches, religions, charities, etc. Even within a part of what a collective society of individuals who have a similar love for what is being represented aren’t going to agree with each other all the time. If we speak to each other in ways where we can clearly see where each other are coming from, we know that the person listening cares about our voice even if we don’t agree with their perspective of truth, it opens possibilities for innovative solutions. It helps leaders communicate clearly why they are choosing to do what they do.

Will everyone listen? Of course not, some people are so lost in their personal perspectives of truth they can’t hear anything outside of it. That is fear talking. We miss seeing love in action if we only are willing to see perspectives of truth that keep us contained. If a belief causes stress or for you to hate (engaging your darkness), it is a belief to think about shifting. Hate is an energy that you put out into the world and it creates more of it. You aren’t representing what you stand for by putting out that kind of energy. You are representing what you are against.

What if, instead of taking the war on drugs, we put that energy into finding solutions to how to relieve people’s pain without needing harmful medications? What if we found solutions in the schools that helped children get the tools to learn how to feel and cope with stress in a natural way? What if we taught people to feel through their emotional pain instead of suppressing it? What if we had conversations about being proactive about mental health instead of treating the problem after the addiction has already set-in? What if we brought mindfulness into all the schools? What if we taught children about how to experience natural highs? What if we taught children the importance of being the friend who watches out for the people they care about?

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When we take responsibility for our own energy that we are putting into our families, our romantic relationships, our causes, our passions, our politics, our spiritual and/or religious practices, and ourselves, we become consciously aware of if we are contributing to the light (what we stand for that represents loving action) or our darkness (the fear of what we are against). When we become responsible for the energy we put out there, we can question ourselves when we see that we are feeding our own dark energies, because whatever we put out there will come back to us. I know I’ve brought up Karma, the Law of Attraction, and religious principles that all agree. This is not about judgment—this is about energy! Energy is the boomerang that will keep coming back.

Just for Today

Write down a list of things you stand for. Check-in with yourself to see if you are representing  love or fear. Then write of list coming from a loving place of ways you can represent what you stand for by shining your light. Any time a fearful thought comes up, write it down and work through it until it can transcend into a loving action. After doing this exercise really pay attention to your energy and how you feel.

When I spend the time on this exercise, I feel better. I feel lighter, and I notice the beauty of the things around me more. It’s a pretty amazing process. I don’t question why Jesus chose to act in complete loving action no matter what others believed, because it really does create an AMAZING energy that shines an incredible light on the lives that are touched by the light inside of us. You don’t have to believe in any particular organized religion, political party, and/or lifestyle to be touched by how individuals represent loving action. We show who we are by being able to move past all the our differences and see the love within and behind the people who are following their own inner light. It really is a beautiful journey and one that has the opportunity to connect us on a deeper level.

Thank you for reading! I can only hope you hear my love through the pages I write, whether you have the same beliefs or different ones, I’m so grateful for your time.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 57 -What I Represent in the World

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 56 – The Safe Foundation of Self-Love

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 56: The Safe Foundation of Self-Love

“It is easy to live for others, everybody does. I call on you to live for yourselves.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The last week we have been diving into the importance of self-worth. When I was planning out the layout of Part II, I went back and forth whether to put the self-love or self-worth section first. They go hand in hand, but as I thought about it and the process I went through, I realized that I had to gain self-worth to start liking myself. Once I started liking myself, the path to loving myself was smooth. I wasn’t trying to force it. I remember the first time I looked into the mirror and said, “I love you” as an exercise, that’s when I found out how much I didn’t like myself. I saw how brutal I was to the person looking back at me. I worked on healing that before I could look back in the mirror and say, “I love you” and truly mean it.

Self-love is the safest foundation we can build our lives on. Self-love is the glue. We need self-love for all the other elements of love (Days 32-35), acceptance (Days 36-41), perspective (Days 42-46), gratitude (Days 47-50), and self-worth (Days 51-55) to grow and expand. Without self-love we fall off the wagon and struggle to get back on. We struggle to find our way through the dark tunnels and small confined boxes. Self-love is the essence of what living in the light is about. When we love ourselves fully, deeply, and without question, we are able to shine our lights at full capacity.

“Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It is sanity.”

-Katrina Mayer

Many of us have been raised in ways that were led by fear. That makes the understanding of what love is very confusing. That makes self-love even more confusing. This is where confusion can set in about someone who loves themselves too much (which is not possible) and someone who is ego driven. Ego comes from our fears, not love. It doesn’t mean anyone who lives in their ego driven world is a bad person, they are just caught up in their own dark energy that seeks outside approval from the world. Often it comes from deep levels of self-loathing. They are trying to prove something to the world and seeking love from the outside world because they can’t find it inside themselves. Have you ever been caught up in this downward spiral? I know I have. When we are there, we start taking our lack of love for ourselves out on the world. We want someone else to make us feel safe, because we can’t find that safety within our own feelings about ourselves. Self-love is where our safety lies. We just need to move past all the fears that have been blocking us from seeing the full capacity of our own lights.

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If you read the Day 55 post from the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series, “How I Honor the Person I Am” I talk a little bit about how I’m connected to my spirituality through my self-love. I’ve studied many different religious paths on an academic level. I’ve looked for similarities and differences. I’ve looked for the love and fear within the readings. I’ve looked how human words whether in text or in services have brought perspectives of fear or love into their interpretations. I’m a spiritual person, so my connection to Spirit is very important to my journey, but my connection does not come from a human level, so no words spoken or written can contain my connection. No titles can hold me to the point where I can’t spot the love within another human.

If I have a weak moment where my own darkness is dimming my light, I know I have to go back to the truest form of love, the love within myself to reconnect beyond what the outside world tells me. Many people try to connect to spirit through words, but words and interpretation of words are apart of our human journey. Spirit is an energy beyond what we as humans can ever contain. In my perspective of truth, the closest I will ever get to feeling and honoring a true connection to Spirit is through the energy of love. I know that my capacity to love and be loved is at it’s highest when I love myself. I have to have it within me to fully feel the effects of it outside of me.  I CHOOSE LOVE. I choose love to connect me to myself, to the Divine Creator, to humanity, and to the planet. That is all created through my safe foundation of self-love.

When I’m honoring the love within me—I’m safe. It doesn’t matter what people don’t love me back. That is their business. That is their journey. The people who are meant to be on my journey will be there for as long as they are meant to be. When they leave or I shut the door, I’m still safe within the love I feel for myself. I can grieve them knowing they played an important role on my journey. I can feel the loss of their energy in my life. I can have moments of fear where I wonder if I will ever feel that way for someone again. That is apart of honoring their part in my journey, but in the end, I will still be there for me. I will be grateful that I was able to love someone so much. This can of course extend to animals, the Earth, our environment, etc.

The more we love ourselves and understand our mistakes, failures, triumphs, darkness, and light, the more we can see that it’s not our place to judge someone else’s life journey. It’s more important to keep our  own gardens the way we want them.

“I see our choices of perspectives of truth as the garden we create in our minds. I choose what seeds I’m going to plant. I decide how to treat the soil. I figure out the way I want to water my garden. I choose which weeds I want to pull. I determine how much light each flower, plant, vine, bush, or tree needs. I choose the space between each life form to support their growth. Other people can give me seeds to flowers, plants, trees, weeds, smuggling vines, invasive species, fertilizers, etc. I get to choose whether to plant or use them. If it doesn’t fit into the garden I’m creating, I can put it in my pocket to possibly plant later, or get rid of it completely. The choice is MINE and MINE ALONE!”

–Rachael Wolff, Day 46

We keep our gardens by being aware of our light and darkness and accepting ourselves for the person we are and the one we choose to be through our choices. When we choose to love ourselves, we have the ability to create gardens of AWE and AMAZEMENT. Our love guides us how to care for the gardens in our minds. Our love for ourselves gives us the beautiful seeds to pass onto others. Self-love gives us so much room to grow and expand without being contained by fear-driven ideas and demands. We are safe because the love we have for ourselves cannot be taken away by anything outside of us. Our gardens are in our minds, but when we create them from self-love, that creation is coming from the energy of our light within us, our soul.

Just for Today

Could you name three things you love about yourself everyday for 90 days? If you don’t think you can, start today. If you think you can, start today. If you want to see the biggest transformation that you will EVER see, start today. A hint into finding things you love about yourself is to look at what you love about others. If you spot it in someone else— It’s in you too! Enjoy the journey!

Thank you for reading and growing with me. I hope this journey helps you to create and expand the gardens of your dreams! Don’t limit your garden’s beauty. SHINE BRIGHT!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 56 – The Safety of My Self-Love

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 55 – Clarity in Self Discovery

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 55: Clarity in Self Discovery

“What I believe makes me who I am.”

-Deepak Chopra

When we stop defining ourselves in terms of what we do, what we have, and how we were raised, we open our world up to discovering who we really are. We discover ourselves. The clearer we see ourselves the more capacity we have to shine our light.

We aren’t seeking value outside of ourselves, so our intentions don’t get confused. We don’t do things that go against the person we are. We support and take care of ourselves so that we are able to give to others authentically with no expectations of what we will get back. We project and attract the best kind of life. When our power comes from within, nobody can take it away.

Our relationships are healthier because we aren’t trying to force others to see our value. This includes our relationship with the God of our understanding. We value ourselves. We project our value. We manifest healthy individuals into our lives. Our value is reflected back to us through our relationship with them. If a person’s energy doesn’t match ours, they will fade to the background of our lives or they will be gone. I have learned what an amazing blessing this is. I know the people in my life have a reason for being there. If it’s not a pleasant experience, I say a prayer: Please help me see the lesson I’m supposed to learn so that I can grow and expand from this situation.

If I’m triggered, I do my best to dig deep to figure out what in them is triggering something in me. People are our mirrors, sometimes the ones we have the hardest time with are most like the parts of us that we don’t accept about ourselves. I’m not going to lie; I needed a narcissist and a diagnosed schizophrenic to show me how hurtful I was to myself. I feel truly blessed for all the lessoned I learned about myself in those relationships. I don’t think I would be where I am today if I didn’t go through what I did with them. I truly see all the things that I was once victimized by as my biggest blessings, because those situations are what it took me to move and shift out of my darkness. They showed me clarity in self discovery.

When we have clarity, we aren’t so hard on other people’s imperfections, because we know we have them too. We know that they have the opportunity to grow just like we do. We don’t feel the need to tear someone else down because it doesn’t contribute to our light. We also know that tearing someone else down is us showing our darkness. When we are clear, we want to shine light on the dark, not create more.

With clarity, I can clearly see that it’s none of my business what people think about me. I don’t do things to please others; I do things out of a genuine place of wanting to do it. In my romantic relationship, I am able to communicate clearly and effectively without any underlying feeling of needing him to do or be different than he is. I’m responsible for my feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions and he is responsible for his. I won’t take or accept responsibility for anything that isn’t mine. I don’t give my power away by making someone else responsible for my stuff.

I used to believe I had to fight for healthy boundaries, appreciation, my way, etc. I’ve learned through this process that the more I fought, the more stress there would be in my relationships. The problem was I wasn’t clear on who I was so I would get lost in my relationships with the men I was trying to gain value from. It was a very unhealthy way to live. I remember the constant struggle. I’m so grateful to have learned ways to expand my perspectives of truth to me less painful. Now, I’m secure in the person I am, so I’m so much more at peace.

I love the process on gaining clarity, and it is so much less stressful than how I was living my life before. Being a mom still shows me the areas I need to work on, but it truly is a gift to be able to say something like: Wow, this is really triggering me. I’m feeling an anger inside me and I don’t think it’s because my daughter didn’t do her school work like over the weekend like I told her to. Let me look at this a little deeper: she tried to blame me for her schoolwork not getting done. Blaming me for something that is not my responsibility is still a hot spot. How did I feel when we both started raising our voices? When did I feel the sensation of anger start creeping up in my body? When is the first time I remember feeling that? How can I work on myself to be a better mom to her?

I can see where there is always room to get more clarity. The talk in my head that used to be so unproductive often serves a purpose now. The blessing of blogging is that I can get out the ideas that pop into my head. That way I make room to develop and grow with them.

The more clear we are about who we are, the less people who get hurt by our projection of unworthy self. Sometimes we have no idea how much damage we are doing by putting out our fear-filled energies out into the world. The fear that comes from being unworthy can spin out of control and create a lot of chaos.  None of us our perfect, when we learn from our pasts, every step we took was necessary to get us to the moment we are in right now.

Just for Today

Answer these questions:

  • Are you aware of what living in fear, shame, blame, judgment, self-abuse, and living in the past and the future creates in your life (Days 1-30)?
  • Are you holding yourself accountable for your feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions?
  • Are you clear on the difference between love and fear (Days 32-35)?
  • Are you in acceptance (Days 36-41) of your past and the unknown future?
  • Do you want to be led by perspectives of truth (Day 42-46) led by love (light) or fear (dark)?
  • Have you chose perspectives of truth that support the life you want to be living?
  • Are you living in a place of gratitude or lack (Days 47-50)?
  • Is how you are treating yourself the way you want others treating you (Days 51-54)?
  • What is your intention on how you want to live?
  • What is your intention on how you want to give?
  • Do you love yourself (Days 56-59)?
  • Is your focus on what you can do today (Day 60)?
  • Are you willing an open to try something new to break old unhealthy patterns (Part III)?

Feel free to read and explore any of the 90-Day A Better Me Series and the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series that you have missed so far. Thank you for being on this journey with me. Let the love within you guide the way!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 55 – How I Honor the Person I Am

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 54 – Empowering the Person in the Mirror

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 54: Empowering the Person in the Mirror

“You have a belief about what is beautiful and what is ugly, and if you don’t like yourself, you can change your belief and your life will change.”

-Don Miguel Ruiz

If we want to feel true empowerment, we have to strip down all those layers of titles we’ve defined ourselves by. We have to let go of the titles we’ve been given to by others and look deep into the mirror and see the power of the soul within ourselves. We limit our power by naming ourselves through a series of titles. Titles are and were created by humans.  Our power is limitless. Our definition of who we are is only thing that can stand in our way of shining to our full capacity.

That being said, I don’t mean for you to go around and yell at people for putting you in a category. When we act out in anger and fear because of how someone else is defining us, we aren’t expanding our empowerment onto them. We are creating them to put up their dark defensive walls to protect themselves from the darkness we are spreading. What matters is that we aren’t defining ourselves through the categories people check off for us. If they are defining us by a title that is led by their fear, we don’t have to engage in ours. We do have choices on how not to let their darkness dampen our light. We have to know from the inside that we are bigger than any category. When we truly know that, someone else’s title doesn’t have the ability to hurt us. We are empowered when we are spreading our light!

When we don’t fight categories and titles we can see that they can help lead people to our lives. They can help lead people who aren’t healthy for us away from our lives too. They are just not the embodiment of who we are. If we define ourselves by them we can limit how bright we can shine our lights. We can let darkness come in and defend the title in an, US AGAINST THEMwar. See any patterns here? We can see people fighting for their titles of race, gender, religion, political affiliation, region, along with titles like mother, father, son, daughter, rich, poor, etc. We also see people fighting against other people’s titles, but as I talked about earlier in the series, seeing people as groups and categories keeps us from seeing the individual we lose our humanity and we don’t see theirs. You can look anywhere around you and see evidence of this perspective of truth.

We are only as empowered as the love we project from inside of us. That is why I’ve spent the last few days covering our worth and our value. We can only shine as bright as we allow ourselves to shine. This is not about being self-centered. This is about being able to give from a full bucket that is constantly self-filling. This is about putting the oxygen masks on ourselves first so we can thrive while helping others.

I’ve seen a lot of amazing causes fail and people burn out because they were driving themselves by fear. They felt like the anger was empowering them. When we fight darkness with more darkness, we only create more. It just moves. We may feel the fight or flight reaction and choose the fight. The energy from that burns out and can have lasting long-term effects on our bodies and our minds. We open ourselves up to so much pain that we can’t tell the difference between love and fear. We can and do make this choice on a regular basis. We can choose to be and do better! We have to find clarity in who we are and what we stand for so that when are standing up for the oppressed, victims, and ill, we are serving them with the energy we want to see more of—LOVE! When we are serving causes from a place of fear, rage, anger, and revenge we miss giving opportunities for the people who might have been ignorant of wrongdoing to grow. NOBODY is perfect and we are all learning, when we go in with our guns blazing, we enter into our darkness. We can’t fix others until we are willing to look at and empower ourselves. The more aware we are of how we CHOOSE to live moment to moment, the more empowered we are to represent ourselves and our causes in a loving way.

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In order to empower the person in the mirror to spread more light into the world, we have to empower her/him with more light within. We have to turn our internal dimmer switches up. We have to start asking the right questions to ourselves when we are faced with our and other people’s darkness:

  • How are my feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions contributing to the light (love) or the dark  (fear) in this situation?
  • Am I speaking in away that will encourage communication (light) or put up defenses (dark) to those who don’t have the same perspectives of truth as I do?
  • Am I coming at this situation from a loving place representing what I stand for (love) or a fearful place representing what I’m against (fear)?
  • Am I trying to encourage people to see other perspectives of truth (light) or force my beliefs down a person’s throat because I believe my way is the ONLY right way (dark)?
  • Am I trying to understand where other people are coming from through their perspectives of truth (love) or am I closing myself off to possibilities of looking at the situation from a different perspective (fear)?

When I don’t know how to not fight AGAINST something I don’t like, I wait. I work through the fear, anger, rage, and resentment. Then I look at how I can approach the situation from a loving place that will open up conversations so both sides can feel heard which opens the door to come up with solutions. Do I always get the solution I was hoping for? No, and I may need to work through my feelings about that, but when I acted from a place of love I don’t have all the residual fear-based thoughts about regretting things I said, or realizing I wasn’t considering someone else’s opportunity for growth. Even if my answer is to walk away from the person or situation, I can feel good about the choice I made. I can know that I passed a seed to a beautiful flower, plant, or tree. What they do with that seed is up to them? Feeling empowered from within the energy of light launches us forward in such miraculous ways.

“Self-worth comes from one thing—thinking that you are worthy.”

-Wayne Dyer

Just for Today

When you engage with others be aware of how bright you are choosing to shine your light. If someone disagrees with you, take a second. Question how much light you can choose to shine on the situation. Then try out some different ways to introduce more light to challenges of your day. This can be in traffic, stores, work, home, etc. Remember you are learning, this is not about doing it perfectly, it’s about be open to try something new.

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In Part III (Days 61-90), I will talk a lot more about action steps. For now, we are working on understanding our perspectives of truth and creating shifts to open them up to empower us at a soul level. This is where we take control of our own dimmer switches and choose to turn the light up to see the magnificent souls we are.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 54 – I AM Empowered