90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 38 – Being Secure in Our Present Moment

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 38: Being Secure in Our Present Moment

“One thing we do know: Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at this moment.”

-Eckhart Tolle

We can easily get stuck in the trap of what we think should be happening at this very moment. Guess what, IT ISN’T! Nothing should be happening different than it is in this very moment or it would be happening. We aren’t supposed to be farther along. We aren’t supposed to be without the challenges we have. We aren’t supposed to be feeling different than we are. If we are stuck in the cycle thinking things should be what they are not, we are projecting an idea of a future on our present moment that doesn’t belong there. There is a difference between having goals and shoulding the joy and peace right out of us. You are EXACTLY where you are supposed to be in this moment.

Whatever lesson is in front of you is the one you are supposed to be experiencing. It doesn’t matter if it’s an easy flowing lesson that we breeze through or a hard-hitting knock our asses to the ground lesson that has us questioning our faith and/or anything and everything we believe in. Each experience is a necessary step in our journey. The sooner we can accept the importance of the moment we’re in, we can feel secure and open to receive the gifts that come with the experience. We may need to be questioning our beliefs to open our perspectives and break us open to experience a new level of faith, but sometimes we can’t do this if we are clogged with old beliefs that don’t allow this to happen. The struggle that you are facing right now could be the one that breaks you wide open to experience life in a whole new way. You can only find out if you move out of your own way and accept the moment.

If we are so lost in our struggle of not having enough, not being enough, and not giving enough; we are stuck in the energy of fear/lack. Here is where we see the Law of Attraction come into play. All we do is project that lack and manifest more things that will engage that feeling of lack. I know that isn’t what most of you want. Lack can be a projection that came from generations ago in your family. If no one in your family changed the pattern that comes with projecting lack, well it was passed to you. Now it’s up to you to change that energy if you don’t want to pass it down to the next generation. Lack is the opposite of the energy of gratitude. Gratitude is what comes from seeing the blessing in our current situations no matter how challenging they are. Gratitude is the path out of the energy of lack. We will start the section on gratitude on Day 47 of this 90-Day A Better Me Series.

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Being secure in our present moment is accepting that everything is exactly how it’s supposed to be. We are no longer fighting reality. It is was it isstops being a saying that we add BUT to like I brought up on Day 36. When we are in full acceptance of our present moment, we stop getting ourselves trapped in the cycle of judgment, which once again gets projected than manifested into even harder lessons about judgment.

There are moments we aren’t going to understand in the bigger scheme of things and/or Universal lessons. We’ve projected a lot of fear, blame, shame, judgment, hate, and overall darkness into the world speaking as a collective species. Therefor we have already manifested a lot of darkness for us to learn from. The blessing is that more and more people are becoming aware of the energy they are contributing and have starting making more and more strides at projecting light.

We’ve had people spreading light from as far back as we have stories. This is the basis of many religions, and sometimes with the influence of humans on the story, we lose the messages of love. Fear and love project and manifest two very different things. Love unites and fear divides. We have to remain very aware by what is leading us through every moment if we are going to get the most out of it. We can make every moment count by embracing a perspective that this moment is important and necessary to our growth as a person and  as a contributor to the global energy being projected.

Being secure in our present moment opens us up to taking a step that will benefit our energy that we are projecting. This is one of the current lessons I face in my journey as a writer. I have a book out to publishers and I have to trust that everything is exactly how it should be right now. If the book sells, awesome! If the book doesn’t sell, awesome! I’m doing everything I’m supposed to be doing right now in this moment and whatever experience I’m meant to go through I will because that is what is. I can have goals, but it is the steps I take in each moment that count. It is the energy I give to the moment that will create my pathway of learning experiences. That’s why today I’m choosing to enjoy the journey! My perspective on my reality is my choice. It doesn’t matter how many people try to influence how I see my life—That is their business. Whatever they are projecting is on them. What I choose is on me. I’m choosing to be secure in my present moment. What you do is up to you.  Choose wisely!

Just for Today

If you think you should be anywhere but where you are in this current moment, or you think you shouldn’t be experiencing something you are experiencing right now, take out your notebook and write down how you could view your current situation through eyes of acceptance. What does that look like? How does that feel? What do you think you can learn from your current situation? What areas of fear are keeping you trapped from experiencing the moment you are in? What energy are you projecting into your current moment? Is that what you want to be manifesting more of? What can you do right in this moment to change the energy you are projecting? If you struggle with finding actions to take to get yourself out of the mindset you are in, PART III is all about action steps. Make sure to follow along with the 90-Day A Better Me Series by scrolling down and following via e-mail, Twitter, Facebook, and/or on WordPress. Enjoy the journey from this moment you are in right now!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

Today’s Letter from a Better Me “Embracing Where I am Now”. Invest your time in a perspective that can contribute to the energy you want to be projecting to the world. Thanks for reading! I hope you can find the blessings in your day!

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Struggle: A Mom’s Tale

As a follower of love and an inspired child of God, I can reach some wonderful places inside myself. I can be a light for friends and strangers. I can show love in ways that many people just don’t understand. Being able to do all this doesn’t mean I’m perfect. I struggle. Most of all right now my struggle comes from being the best mom I can be to two kids entering into puberty and trying to find solutions and tools to combat their emotional and mental struggles that range from a hard past to a hormonal present. Having a degree in Human Development may seem helpful, but when it’s your own kids, their and your own trauma, the degree doesn’t quite work in my favor. Sometimes it seems harder because I know too much about all different mental/emotional issues and I get completely overwhelmed in questioning everything.

As a mom, I don’t want my children to hurt. Yet, they are hurting so much. I didn’t cause the pain, but I’m left here trying to figure out how to help them overcome their past, deal with a broken school system, and finding joy in their lives. I thought things would be different for them since I’m well versed in overcoming, but a child going through puberty doesn’t want to hear how their whole life can change if they just could choose to look at things differently. I thought since I taught them from an early age that their thoughts, reactions, feelings, and actions are their personal power that they wouldn’t go through blaming everybody else for the way they are feeling, boy was I wrong.

I’ve tried strategies from courses I’ve taken in using positive discipline, counting, and play therapy, none of them seem to have made any great impact on what is happening on a daily basis. I have personality quirks that don’t always align with the self-discipline some of these parenting practicing take. I’m also a single mom who does all the parenting herself. I don’t linger too long there, or I can sometimes get resentful. On most days, I’m grateful.

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Being a single mom with kids who have been through trauma has it’s own unique challenges. This doesn’t mean married couples don’t have similar challenges, but not having a partner who takes equal responsibility for a child comes with the added bonus of abandonment issues. This can happen even if both parents are active, but not together. I learned that in couple’s therapy years ago. I had and sometimes still struggle with an over attachment to time and schedules. I used to actually miss out on a lot of quality time with people due to being so attached to time, I was constantly looking at my watch and recalculating when I had to leave, what I was doing next, and how I was going to get from point A to point B. The therapist told me my obsession with time was about having something I could control. Now with my children, I try to take into account if a situation makes my kids feel unwanted, rejected, unimportant, or abandoned. I can go through tons of scenarios in my head because of my education of how each thing can affect them. Oh it is just so much fun (Laughing hard)!

I’ve met so many amazing moms and dads along my path. I’ve seen how healthy family dynamics create beautiful atmospheres for kids. I’ve also seen no matter how great a family is, no family is perfect. This is what keeps me from feeling like a failure when things don’t go how I thought they would. We are all here doing the best we can do with the information and situations we have. Parenting can be a struggle, especially the more aware we are.

One thing I try HARD not to do is judge other people’s parenting. My belief is that we are all having the exact experiences we need to fulfill our purpose. I’ve seen kids who have grown up hard become amazing advocates and voices for change. I’ve seen people who grow up privileged help and/or hurt others. No matter how a person grows up it will create lessons and blessing for the people who cross their paths. I need to focus on my part. What can I do? How can I contribute? What seeds are important for me to pass on?

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This piece is just a reminder that no matter what path we are on as a parent, we all will have times of struggle. It’s not healthy to beat others or ourselves up for not being perfect, because no one is. Our children have to have things go wrong. That is how they get tools for life. As a parent, we simply can do the best we can to protect, love, and honor their journey. I know one of my struggles is remembering it is their journey. We are here to give them all kinds of seeds and see what they do with them. We can watch them create their own garden. They may have to do some heavy weeding and even lose some of their best flowers and trees, but they will learn.

I want to teach my kids that the lessons are a necessary part of life. The trick is to learn from them and don’t become a victim of fear and pain. My hope is that they keep taking chances, making mistakes, and trying new ways to find the path that is right for the life they individually want. There is no time limit, just keep moving in the direction of a positive and rewarding life. I want them to learn not to attach to the fears that hold people back.

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I recently needed the reminder, so I thought I would put my thoughts down on paper reminding me to give myself a break, keep moving in a positive direction, don’t judge what others are doing, and I’m a good mom. I love my kids.  I’m doing the best I can, struggles and imperfections included.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2018

 

 

Breaking Free From My Unhealthy Relationships: Finding Love through the Darkness

I am no master. I have survived some horrible situations and lost much of my innocence way too young. I still fight, cry, and struggle through some of life’s twists and turns. Here is what I know, life is full of lessons and I have survived them all. Some of my deepest scars have helped others through their darkest days. At seventeen, I was lucky to survive an attempt at ending my journey. I didn’t think my life was worth living. I felt like all I brought people was pain. I thought I would be doing my family a favor by not being here. At the core of it all, I felt unlovable and not worth loving at all. My failed attempt changed the trajectory of many lives, not only my family and friends at the time, but the two amazing lives I’ve brought into the world.

The lessons showed me that I needed to keep learning and expanding. I have to keep going deeper into my inner core to see what I really need to be learning from all these experiences in my life. Some lessons I can figure out with a little distance, but others may take years or a lifetime to figure out. All I know is that if I learn the lesson, I can stop repeating it. The lesson won’t get harder, but I will be able to spot the problem before it starts.

One of my most challenging lessons has been with my romantic relationships. I had the patterns of behavior that kept attracting the wrong men. The lessons would get worse and worse as the years went by until it escalated to verbal and emotional abuse. I became a person I didn’t even recognize at the height of the toxicity. I didn’t like the untrusting, unloving, and emotionally unavailable person I had become. Since my mom taught me very young that no one can make me feel anything, and that my perception chooses my feelings and reactions, I knew only I could fix the darkness that stirred inside me.

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Since that is where my mind focused those were the lessons that would present themselves to me. If I focused my mind in a dark place, like I had chosen to do many times, I would dig myself deeper into the problem. I used to focus on the guy I was in the relationship with instead of me. I learned I can’t fix the problem there, because I can’t change him. I can only change me. I found all the books and teachers I needed to help me change my perception and patterns. This didn’t happen overnight, and I’m still a work in progress, but through reflection and watching some of the people I love follow similar paths to what I was on, I see how far I have come.

Now, I’m in a relationship where I love, trust, and respect myself. Since I feel that way about me, I can love, trust and respect him equally. I acknowledge and see where I’m putting past relationship stresses on him and I work through them. No need for dramatic fights and false exits. Does this mean we don’t argue, of course not. We are not going to agree about everything. We do fight fair and know when each other need just enough space to process the information so we can discuss it reasonably.

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Giving and accepting space is new for me. I remember not trusting the space at all in past relationships and thinking that those big dramatic fights were essential. With some, I felt like the end of the world was happening if we couldn’t talk reasonably in the very second a problem occurred. I would panic and get super clingy. With others, I remember walking away and having a man follow me around yelling and calling me names to try to make me feel as small as he was feeling about himself. The knot in my stomach and all my fight or flight senses would be going off. For a period of time before kids, I would try to use alcohol or depression medication to cover up my feelings, but that was not what got me out.

Facing my feelings fully and changing MY behavior towards, number one, myself was the catalyst for breaking free from the pain that these unhealthy relationships brought to the surface. If I abuse and belittle myself, I bring people who will reflect it back to me. The worse I abuse myself, the worse the abuse will be. Abusers can spot our weaknesses from a mile away. There are little signs from the moment we meet them that create a dinging in their ears knowing we are a match. We look for our equals. If we want better, we have to be better. I had to learn to be the person towards myself that I wanted to attract. For instance, I love nature and adventure, but I wasn’t doing that for myself. I was waiting for someone else to take me. Well, screw that! I started taking myself on adventures in nature and what did I attract, someone who enjoyed the same things. We go on some adventures together, but I keep adding more of my own adventures. I expand my adventures every year. This past summer I took my kids on  camping with another single mom for 5 days in Asheville, NC. It was amazing. The adventure didn’t start or stop there, we saw friends, family, and added wonderful experiences to our memory books.

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Before, I kept going above and beyond for men who I hoped would one day give back the same amount of effort. I thought that the more I helped them, maybe they would feel like they needed me and fight for me to stay. I was the rescuer! A superpower I thought I had, but really that was my codependency. I just felt depleted and frustrated and the relationships didn’t work. I finally understood the message from the Bible about treating others as I treat myself. I used to think this just meant treat others, as I wanted to be treated. I kept getting walked on. I now see it as, if I treat others with the same respect and love that I show myself, I will attract people who will reflect that back to me. I will attract people who really want to get out of their misery (if that is where they are). I won’t attract the men who want to be stuck in the victim of the world role and want to take me down with them. I realized the the Bible wasn’t telling me to give myself away, it was telling me to show the world my inner beauty and strength. I have read many books that have the same message, and it took me reading all of them and experiencing everything I did to finally make it sink in. There is no one book, person, place, or being that is capable of showing us everything we need to see. We are human, we have to experience many lessons to get the messages to sink in. At least, I do.

As I grow in love and respect for myself, my relationships gets better. My life gets better. I no longer feel like I need another person to complete me. I am complete. I get to enjoy the man I’m with for being the person he is and what he contributes to the life I want to live. I keep growing and getting stronger. This is the example I want to show my kids. I want my son to see that it is good to be with a woman who loves, trusts, and respects herself. I want my daughter to become a woman who loves, trusts, and respects herself. My job is to be the example.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2017

If you like what you read on FromALovingPlace.com, make sure to check-out other posts and Like From A Loving Place on Facebook (click on the word Facebook for the link). There will Always be helpful hints on how to live from a more loving place. Thank you for reading!

Waking Up to Life’s Lessons

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6:00 AM the alarm goes off; another day. Is my daughter going to start with a meltdown as I try to do the same daily routine of getting her ready for school? What will it be about? Is it going to be the outfit, taking a shower, food, cleaning her room, reading, or just simply having to wake-up?

What about my son? Is he going to have a stomachache? Is he going to dread another day of school? Is he going to bring home another referral? What about baseball? Is he going to ever play again after being hit in the eye with a ball?

I miss my dad ,“Gifted Mom”, and grandma. All their houses are closing this month. These are the two childhood homes that have been the same. The last of what I thought of as permanent fixtures in my life. I keep hearing all their voices as they discussed the future and how none of it worked out as planned. One of my favorite sayings, “I plan, God laughs” strikes again. I believe that everything happens exactly the way it’s supposed to, but it doesn’t mean it’s easy to accept my life as it is in this moment.

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When I started on the path of self-discovery, I thought after a certain point in time I would eliminate the chaos from my life. I thought that going through life’s lessons would become natural and I would all the sudden gain the patience of a Saint. Are you laughing yet? I am.

I’m the person who went to parenting classes before I became a parent. I have been on a mission since I took on the role to be this parent that I’ve read about a million times. “I plan, God laughs.” I don’t care how many books, classes, or practices I’ve taken on; all of it is all still a process. There is no finish line of perfection, even if my OCD likes to disagree. What doesn’t help, my people pleaser inside trying to listen to every one’s good advice. They are not me. I have to work with what I have. Trying to remember that we are all different and have different challenges is a message I sometimes forget when I’m in the hamster wheel of life’s circumstances.

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I can list of a number of labels and diagnosis that make me different, but honestly it doesn’t matter how I’m different. I was given the set up that I need in order to serve my purpose on the planet. The obstacles and lessons that I’m given is what I need in order for my gifts to shine through. Don’t get me wrong; as much as I know this I still will watch myself fall into the depths of chaos.

This is the time where all the things I write about get put into practice. It is the time where I get to “Embrace the Breakdown” (click on the title to go to the post) and work my way through the “5 Lessons in Personal Growth.” I don’t get to stop just because I wrote about it, I still have to live through it. Every time I learn a little bit more to take with me. I’ve been in the state I’m in now longer than I’ve been since I left my old life behind. The issues are all different and the only real drama is self-induced. That in itself is progress. I have the best support team around me and I know that “this too will pass” (another great mantra for times of chaos).

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On Mother’s Day, my daughter gave me a sign, “Give love. It’s the only thing you’ll never run out of.” This is a great reminder of my purpose, which is finding ways to continue to spread love even in the midst of chaos. Learning to go with the flow of life while accepting the parts of me that are incredibly regimented are a part of the lessons I get on daily basis.

Life is an interesting classroom; it goes through all the phases of the typical schooling experience. There are easy and hard classes, all kinds of different teachers. Some I wish would never leave and others that I wish would leave today. Some classes stir up my passion for learning while others will bore me as I scream in my head, “COME ON!” Today, I feel like I’m doing a science experiment. I keep testing theories and seeing where each one leads. I’m in the process of learning to not take life so seriously.

Part of what I am doing is looking at what’s going on from outside of the box I’m in, so that I can see perspectives that are different than what is keeping me in the box. I know I’m not alone in these challenges. If you are one of the people who are reading this laughing, crying, or simply nodding in understanding; you’re not alone either. We are all just doing the best we can, no matter what that looks like to someone else.

img_3506With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff © 2017

Bring Your Child to Work Day: A Piece by 10 Year Old Alyssa Wolff

Be Brave and Know you are Special

You are very special no matter what people say. We all have special talents, we just need help  letting them out! The number one objective is to be brave and follow your heart.

You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.

-Trina Paulus (Hope for the Flowers p. 75)

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A piece by: Alyssa Wolff

Memes by: Alyssa Wolff

Sometimes I wonder how much of what I do gets through to my kids. This was a great example that the most important lessons are shining through.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Signs on a Spiritual Journey: A Message From 1998

Life has many interesting twists and turns. After my dad died in 2011, I found a free writing I had done and given to him. I’ve read it a couple time in the last few years and didn’t have any acknowledgment of when I wrote it. Many of the concepts I still believed, but I had no recollection of sharing my ideas. Slowly, a few memories came back but I still had no idea when I wrote it.

Recently, I was doing some rearranging and I pulled the drawers out of an old family dresser and there were papers stuck behind the drawers. I guess I had faxed a copy of the writing to my mom. With that, I got my date: August 27, 1998. At the time, I was on top of the world. I was just starting out in my career as a sales trainer and I was becoming very successful. I lived in Dunedin, Florida at the time.  I was 22 years old. In January 1999 I moved to Phoenix, Arizona.  In the next few years, I travelled the U.S. and Canada speaking at engagements and creating many different training programs and materials. I had endless confidence. I didn’t believe anything wasn’t possible, and I kept proving myself right. I lived in places all over the country and got to enjoy countless experiences with food, nature, people, travel, and entertainment.

image2-2Little did I know, at the end of 2001 my life would start to take some very unexpected turns. I would get some of life’s hardest life lessons. I had forgotten the girl who wrote this. She got lost for quite a few years, but when I started to re-emerge, I started paying attention to the signs once again and miracle after miracle led me back home to God’s infinite Love. The love of a Universe that goes beyond any love humanly known. A love that ends all separations and connects us to all the elements of the Universe. Seeing this with my open eyes is so powerful.

Since this particular free writing keeps being brought up in my life and put in my face, I decided to share it with my readers. It is unedited and raw. I had no idea I even knew some of these concepts so early on. I listen to how I repeat concepts over and over, almost like God was preparing me for what was ahead.

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In the world we know: How many times have we asked ourselves what does it all mean? We try to take control of situations that we fear that we won’t like the outcome that God presents to us. Why do we do this when the truth is we should always thank God for whatever outcome he gives us, because it just means there is something better out there for us. We are faced with a series of lessons in our lifetime. They are all a part of our spiritual journey. None of these lessons are meant to purposefully hurt us. They are meant to help us grow stronger and lead us to spiritual enlightenment.

We will have peace in our lives when we accept these lessons with loving arms. When we discover the love within us is stronger than any love we can get from the outside world, and that we welcome more and more outside love, the more we love ourselves.

What we must learn to do is let go. Ask for what you want and then accept that the Universe will do what is best. If it is a person you are asking for you must realize that the love comes from within you. Those people on the outside will be more attracted to you the more you love yourself. Fear sets into place when you try to control the situation, and that is when you begin focusing on negative energy, and when you do that is when you will get whatever the negative energy is focused on. We must not talk about all the things we don’t want in our lives. We must talk about all the things we do want. Focus on the positive and it will come to you.

When we look into ourselves we find out what we are asking for. We can get everything we ask for, if we ask for it in the right way. You might not get it the way that you thought you would or when you thought you would, but if you focus on the positive you allow that positive energy into your life.

We also must remember to ask for the best thing for us. If we do not and we try to take over the control and say this is it, you could be sorry that you got what you asked for. Always keep in your mind that God is always looking out for you and will lead you on the spiritual path that best suites you. If you choose to leave the spiritual path he cannot be responsible for trying to get you back. You have to find your own way back, and when you realize that his love, the love that is stronger than any love you ever known, is waiting for you.

When we let our heart lead us, it won’t lead us wrong. It’s when our fear leads us that we are led off our spiritual paths. That fear is a side road that we often decide to look down and even more often the average person will take. Sometimes it takes a lot of love, trust, and faith not to take this path. For it is a temptation. We want to see where that road leads to see if the grass is greener when we try to take control. If we could take the same situation and lead down two different roads, it would be interesting to see where we would end up. Somehow, I believe that everyone who was able to participate would start trusting and opening the end result up to the Universe instead of trying to take control. What a lot of us are misinformed of though is the fact that many of us do get the choice, time and time again. Look at every time we say I did it again or we are brought into the same situation over and over again. We choose every time what way we are going to go. Most if not all the time if we choose the same road to go down, we will end up with the same outcome. So the best thing for us to do is right the situations that keep repeating themselves down without writing down any names or places and check out the set up of the situation each time and pay attention to how you deal with it.

Most of us would be amazed in the similarities. What we all need to learn to do is stay on the path no matter how we think the end result should be, and whatever the end result is, even if you don’t understand it. We should thank God for the experience and thank him for giving us what is best.

If we decide to live our lives in this way, we would realize how much easier it is to see all the beauties in the world. Without fear there is only love. Every insecure feeling stems from fear, and there is no reason to live under those boundaries of fear.

Unfortunately, we must look past the way society views life because they focus on the negative energy instead of focusing on the positive. That makes living in the light of God even more necessary. Always put out your positive energies for they are the ones you want in your life.

Live with the assumption that you already have all the positive things that you want in your life. If you begin to fall into negative energy, leave the situation, get back into the positive energy and deal with the situation in your positive energy.

I give thanks today for the lessons that God puts in front of me. I know that whatever is for the best will work out. I know that God is looking out for me and my best interests. Whatever the outcome may be, I know it will be what is best. God will give me the clarity I need and take me through each life lesson. Just because I know that these life lessons are in my best interests doesn’t mean that I will not go through periods of grief as I am saying goodbye to the experiences that have found their time to expire. God would not give me gifts if I would not feel.

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All the lessons that will happen in my life will lead me towards one ultimate goal. They will guide me in the direction I need to go to really find my life’s meaning. There will be times that I don’t understand my lessons and that I won’t be able to recognize them as positive right away, but I will get to the point where I see their purpose. I will see that by having that lesson it led me to where I am now.

We all need to believe that everything that works in our life is right, no matter how long it may work out. It could be right for a few hours, a few months, or the rest of our life. Lessons have time periods and they will only last as long as that particular lesson is meant to last.

The trick is giving up control. We cannot control the lessons or these time frames, what we must do is ask God for what we want and if it is what is best for us he will give it to us. We must have complete trust that God has listened to our prayers and he will lead us in the best direction to get us to the ultimate prayer. God always answers our prayers, but sometimes it is in way that we might not understand at that given time.

Going with the gut feeling is very important, if something doesn’t feel right trust it. There are signs everywhere leading us in the right direction. We just have to be able to read them. Everything happens for a reason. Even if your eyes are closed and you don’t read the signs correctly, it is an opportunity for another lesson. All the lessons you learn from life will take you to a positive place (If you see them).

Accept responsibility for the lessons you learn. If you blame anyone else for the experience you went through you have not truly taken in the lesson. Blame=blah-me. There is nothing to learn from blaming. No kind of blame helps. By blaming someone we are rejecting the lesson. Therefore situations will keep coming up till we take full responsibility.

We are never stuck in any situation. If we focus on the positive energy in every situation there will always be room for change. Change is good and change is important for growth. If we stay in any one situation long enough and it is always comfortable there, there is no growth. We must step out of our comfort zone in order to grow. Nobody knows everything and has life experiences to make them feel full the rest of their life. We must keep going and keep leaving ourselves open for new life experiences. Freedom has been given to us by God. We can get anything we want in our lives if we focus on the positive.

Society today shows us all the negative events that could possibly happen. In most movies today there is high amounts of violence and negative focus. There is a reason that there has been such an increase in violence with the younger generations and until we do something about it, it will keep getting worse and worse. We can shrink these numbers back down if we encouraged society that the positive is what we want to see. Show us the positive solutions for the acts of violence. If we all start working together, we will be guided to brighter places.

That takes a group effort and a lot of prayers, but it is amazing what even one person can do if they focus on the positive energy.

Now, having faith in timing. We ask God for things to happen in our lives and he hears us. We must make sure that we are not trying to force the answer on ourselves. We must wait and let things in our life happen. When things aren’t running smoothly and it has to do with something we asked for, it usually means that it is not the right time or there is a better situation waiting for us somewhere else.

We must read signs. Usually one of the most obvious signs is when things aren’t flowing together. When something is right, doors will open and opportunities will show themselves. We just have to have faith in God that he is doing what is best, and faith in ourselves that we will be able to see the signs.

In order to truly grow spiritually we must deal with the problems from the core. Where they first began, because only then will you be able to release them. If we do not do this, situations will keep repeating themselves and we will keep repeating our old behavior. In order to become closer to God we must trust that he will only bring up the behaviors that we are ready to deal with.

Once we have reached the point where we have released all the anger and fear from our hearts, we will be able to react and treat everybody in a loving way.

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This collage of pictures was from one of my most memorable adventures. The pictures were taken within a year after writing this free writing in Sedona, AZ.  The journey after writing the piece has been amazing. I definitely had to learn many difficult lessons, but I still believe they were all necessary to lead me to where I am today, and where I will be taken tomorrow. Each step has taught me to grow in love for myself, in the Infinite Love of the Universe, in love for nature and people, and in the love I share with all those around me.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

 

 

 

5 Lessons in Personal Growth

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On the journey of self discovery there are some key elements we learn on the way, but we don’t always read about them in books. We all have our own journey and our own landscape to develop. We have our own personal taste to account for. Not everyone’s garden looks the same. We each have our own ideas on what looks right together and how we want it to flow. It is not our business to judge other’s journeys. Enjoy the landscape you create and let others have room to develop their own. You will have plenty of opportunities to give people seeds, it is up to them if they want to use them. A few things seem to be the same for all personal growth. After many attempts in breaking old patterns and developing new ones, here is what I have learned:

1. Personal Growth is a Process

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When we are ready to change, we tend to jump in with both feet and expect drastic results in a short period of time. This is NOT how it works. Personal growth is much like the process of planting a seed. First, you have to obtain the seed, then you have to find good soil to plant it in, then it takes a combination of care techniques to get it to grow properly. Some plants and/or trees need direct sun, and others need indirect sun. Every plant needs water, but some require less than others. We are as unique as the varieties of plants and trees that grow in the Earth. The process takes time. Just like any other type of life form, when we are sick, it takes us time to heal. We have to allow ourselves the time to form healthier habits and break old patterns. Some of the patterns have been embedded for generations. That requires a lot of undoing and changing of patterns. Give yourself time, be patient, and understand the process is different for everybody. Different methods will work for different people. The best way to know which way will help is to sample many different ways of learning. The ones that feel right will work for as long as they are supposed to, then it will be time to try something else. Some, like water for a plant, will remain essential, others will be able to fade away and change.

Doing too much at once is never a good idea. We tend to burn out and the seed can’t be brought to life. It takes awhile for unhealthy patterns to take hold, and it takes awhile to grow into healthier patterns, routines and habits. The process may seem slow, but think about the amount of time it takes to grow a garden from scratch or how long it takes for a tree to stand tall. Allow yourself the time to break one unhealthy pattern at a time while strengthening  the positive attributes you already have within you. Stay present in the process, it is the greatest gift of the journey.

2. Everything We Read, See, and Hear is a Seed

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We are given tons of seeds throughout the day. We choose which ones to keep and which ones to toss out. The longer we hold onto them, the more eager we are to collect more that will grow with the ones we already have. When we are given seeds of hate agendas, we can choose to plant them or throw them out. The most important thing to know, it’s our choice! We don’t have to plant every seed that is given to us, the stronger we become on this journey, the less we will plant. We will discover over time that we are in control of how things affect our lives. Be watchful about what seeds you are holding onto. When we put too much energy into them, they will begin to grow.

3. Everything We Say, Write, Think, and Do is Planting the Seed

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This is an important lesson, and one not to be taken lightly. We are the only ones who have control over which seeds are planted and which ones grow. We can choose loving ones or fearful ones at any moment. No actions come without benefits and consequences. We need to take responsibility for the seeds we plant. That includes the ones that were given to us by abusers, racists, narcissists, and overall miserable people. We can choose to believe and feed the hate and lies or we can rise above. Some people thrive on feeding us seeds of hate. Industries make fortunes on it, some want us to hate ourselves and others want us to hate others. Our reaction is we get the choice to plant it or throw it away. When we can see the person with compassion and forgiveness, we are throwing hateful seeds away and planting loving ones. When we are reacting in fear and hate we are holding onto it; we are planting that seed. The stories we tell our friends and family, is planting our seeds and giving seeds to them. What seeds do you want to give to your loved ones?

4. The Energy We Put Into Upkeep Determines the Health of Our Garden

IMG_2897Self-talk is the key! It all starts with the messages we are feeding ourselves. It will determine if we are going to grow seeds from love or fear. Our internal hate messages can grow some ugly gardens, filled with weeds, strangling plants, and poisons. If we are hurtful on the inside we are giving the people around us the seeds from our personal gardens. We are blaming, shaming, and overall spreading pain. We all have combinations of species both healthy for the life in our garden and/or destructive. Which one has the majority in your mind? The more we can treat ourselves with love, the more seeds of love we have to give out. We all know what spreading hate looks like, but do we truly understand how much power we give it by engaging in it?

Healthy seeds become flowers, food, healing remedies, shade, and oxygen. We can feed the world with our choices. We can also hurt more than we can even imagine. When we learn to have love and compassion for those around us and learn to forgive, not for the other person but for our own garden’s growth, miracles are born and flourish with the seeds of hope.

5. We Can Pull Weeds, Trim Trees, and Get Rid of Dead Weight at ANY Time

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No one has a perfect garden, if we were perfect, our journey here would be done. That is how we learn. We need to give ourselves a break. The most wonderful part of it all is that we can change the look of our landscape at any time. It is all about the work we are willing to put in. If we chop down an unhealthy tree without digging up the roots, it can still poison the foundation for new seeds to grow. Undoing the old patterns takes time to unearth. Understand, you are not perfect and everything that happens to us offers us great lessons. Sometimes it’s about how we will use it to help others. Other times we are exposed to things we need to see in order to break unhealthy patterns. We get what we need, trust the process. Your pain does not have to be in vain. It can give the world beautiful gifts of hope.

You may need to re-visit unhealthy roots that you thought you got rid of. They may reappear, so that you can dig deeper. In the end, it will be a gift, but it can feel more painful than you ever thought you could handle. Once it has all passed, look back; you survived! You are strong! Just keep pulling those weeds, tearing up the roots, and re-building a healthier space.

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If you are interested in planting more seeds of hope and love, follow From A Loving Place on Facebook and join me on my journey here. Find voices that ring true for you. Life can be an amazing adventure when we feel through the pain into awareness. Trust the process and be kind to yourself. Now, go create the garden of your dreams!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

**Every photo except the orchid picture was taken on 3/18/2016 at Marie Selby Botanical Gardens in Sarasota, Florida by Rachael Wolff. The orchid picture was taken a few weeks back.