HATE is HATE. LOVE is LOVE!

I’ve been listening and observing to what is going on in me and the world around me. These are my perspectives on what I’m seeing. Hate, no matter where it is aimed, is still hate. I can see this in every area: race, gender, religion, intimate relationships, familial relationships, workplace, law enforcement, politics, economics, sexual preferences, community, the list goes on. Hate is hate! 

Hate divides, separates, and causes horrible devastation wherever it touches. Hate destroys the person who is feeling it too. Think of the way our bodies respond to hate in just one day. Now, imagine that hate festering inside you for months, decades, and centuries. When we project out hate, it often lands on the people closest to us. Hate destroys relationships, communities, countries, and the environment. 

Love is love. Love opens people’s ability to see a person behind the category or title (including ourselves). Love allows space for connection, compassion, and forgiveness. No group, category, or label own love. Love can be felt by any individual who is willing to be vulnerable enough to look in the mirror and embrace their own beautiful being. Love is the purest light within in our souls. The path to seeing love lies within us, and we only can project out unconditionally (which is the only authentic love) when we see and love ourselves. We have to know love from the inside in order to see and recognize it in someone else. Love is a gift that keeps on giving. We sabotage anything we don’t feel worthy of. We have to know we are WORTHY of love by giving it to ourselves. If we depend on the outside world to give us love, when that love goes wrong it can quickly turn to hate because that love isn’t coming from a solid foundation. Love is solid when it comes from within.

Hate suffocates love. When I see people lost in their hate, I feel for them. I have compassion for them. I pray for them. Their hate doesn’t dampen my love. If I feel like I am taking on their energy, I have to remember that I am responsible and accountable for the energy inside me. If I’m that person projecting hate, I pray for me, and feel compassion for me. If I don’t want hate inside me, I have to do the work to return my energy to love. That can mean:

  • Set healthy boundaries for myself
  • Stop watching, following, and engaging in things that trigger feelings of hate
  • Remove myself from a person’s life if their energy feels dangerous to my well-being
  • Seeking justice by reporting wrong-doing even if it is within a group I am connected with
  • Meditate more to restore my sense of calm
  • Write out my feelings fully to be able to see them and work through them
  • Find a professional or a HEALTHY person/group to talk to who will help me move away from the feelings of hate
  • Remove myself from groups that amplify the energy of hate
  • Find a physical outlet to work through hate and/or rage’s physical hold on my body (swimming, punching bags, trampoline, running, lifting weights, basketball, “Dammit dolls”, punching pillows, martial arts, etc.)
  • Take deep breaths in and fully release them, because we hold our breaths when our energy is tensed up. That is NOT good for our brain or body function.

If my energy is attached to the hate in anyway, it becomes my problem. It is my job to fix whatever is inside of me that is not aligned with how I want to be living. It is my responsibility ALONE to change the energy that is moving through me. My life and the lives of the people I love are going to be affected by the energy I’m carrying around with me.

Even with all I’m aware of, studied, observed and practiced, I’m not perfect. I still have to do the work and be reminded that I’m responsible and accountable for the energy that moves through me. I still have conversations with my kids that involve how they saw something I did or said differently than what was intended. That is within my own home!! Let that serve as a reminder. People will only ever see us through their perspectives of truth (beliefs). We will only ever see others through our perspectives of truth. The question is: How do you want to see yourself and the world around you? Choose perspectives of truth that define how you want to live your life. Love is a CHOICE! Hate is a CHOICE! If someone else chooses to hate, that is on them. I know their is a lot of love in the world. I want to amplify and align with that energy, because that CHOICE feels ABSOLUTELY AWESOME to me.

With Love, Compassion, and Gratitude, 

Rachael Wolff

Author of Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World
Available in audiobook, audio CD, ebook, and paperback
see FromALovingPlace.com/book for a list of retailers.

Unity is in Our Humanity

Sometimes we just need to listen. When we see each other’s humanity, we stop hating what we don’t understand. We tell our stories from our own personal experiences. Each person’s story is important, because they are our truths. When we realize that a person is speaking based on their own personal truths, we understand that we didn’t live their experiences, so we may not have the same truths. It doesn’t make one more or less real than the other person’s truths. Our truths are all perspectives. We make them our reality by believing them. We can’t help others if we first don’t listen to the truths that they are believing about themselves and about others.

When we look deeper, we see beyond the categories and labels. We see the pain, joy, sadness, trauma, happiness, fear, and love within each other.

When we connect there, we unite.

We become vulnerable as the storytellers and as the listeners. We start healing, growing, and expanding. We see that each of us have the ability to change perspectives of truth, beliefs, and thoughts that are no longer working for the life we want for OURSELVES. We can’t change anyone else. We can make choices that will help us live better with ourselves and others. It’s all in how we decide to write and tell our stories.

Successful memoir writers and biographers are masterful at bringing us on a journey of connecting through story. Think of all the stories that have helped you connect to yourself and others. Right now there are so many people offering their stories on Facebook Lives amongst other venues.

I’ve learned so much about where individuals are and how they feel. I sometimes have to look past their rage, because that is the symptom of the pain that is so much deeper. Rage surfaces from unhealed parts of us that become triggered by circumstances, events, others, and even our own self-abuse. I can clearly see if a person’s perspective is from a loving place or a fear-based place. They project whichever one they are living from even when the words are not matching up with the energy they are projecting out.

We don’t have to agree with other people’s actions or views, but if we want UNITY, we have to first see the humanity in each other. Back in 6th century B.C., Greek storyteller Aesop said “United we stand, divided we fall.” We’ve seen and heard these words uttered over and over across categories, titles, genres, and venues. If we want to unite, we can’t just want to see things from our point of view and expect the the rest of the world to fall into place. Unity is in our humanity. It is the ONLY part of us that will experience the same things despite our differences. In our humanity we feel love, fear, joy, hurt, happiness, sadness, encouragement, disappointment, etc. No person’s money, religion, country, politics, race, gender, or sexual preference matter if we connect through what makes us human…LISTEN!

There are so many layers to this. This is just a small piece of a very big UNITED puzzle. But without seeing each other’s humanity, we won’t complete the puzzle. There will continue to be a missing a piece. We will never ALL believe and see the world the same way, so if you depend on that for unity, you will only ever find it in small groups which will keep you divided.

The beauty I’ve found living from a loving place is that I don’t have to agree with people’s beliefs on ANY subject and still see their value. The lessons I’ve learned from other people’s cruelty don’t strip me from seeing their humanity. I see the mentally unhealthy person, and know that it’s not safe or healthy for me to be around them, but I still learn from their story about the dangers of living life through the perspectives of truth that they believe. I see how miserable their perspectives have made them and how it’s hurt their relationships with others. Seeing that person’s humanity helps me to see my own darkness and work on shining light in areas that can easily turn dark if they go unchecked.

If I’m triggered with fear, anger, rage, or hate, I see what parts of me I need to spend time with to heal, so that I don’t project my darkness out to the world and hurt someone else. I don’t ALWAYS do this perfectly, because that is not what the human experience is about. The human experience is about learning. How can I learn if I’m not willing to listen? So, even in my differences with others who want to live from a fear-based place, I still can find a place to unite, grow, and learn. I cannot unite the world, but I can feel united with the world, and I do.

We have arrived at a point in time where we have the ability to listen to people’s stories first hand from all different corners of the world. We have the ability to learn about people’s truths that our different than ours while being safe in our own homes.

If you are looking to try to learn from truths that are different than yours, I suggested doing a meditation first. This helps me to really try to listen to the person’s story and learn from it. I pay close attention to the feelings that are running through me as I listen and see where my thoughts go. I find feelings I’m united in even if they are coming from different perspectives. I listen to hear if their perspective is coming from love or fear. I LOVE when I find people’s stories who are coming from a different way of seeing the world from a loving perspective. Those stories make my soul sing and my heart soar. The love within me expands so much more when I find voices united from loving perspectives. I don’t know if this will be true for you, but when I hear people speaking from fear-based perspectives, I feel so incredibly grateful that I learned a different way of living. Listening to them reminds me of where I once was and how much I’ve grown. Seeing their humanity strengthens my conviction on the way I’ve CHOSEN to live.

I know I need the reminder that unity is in our humanity, because sometimes it’s easy getting stuck in the chaos of what is keeping us divided. When I’m there, it hurts. I feel anxious, disconnected, confused, angry, and sometimes even vengeful if all of that goes unchecked. I know what I need to do to bring me back to peace, and writing these words right now is a part of that process. Thank you for being a part of my journey.

With Love, Compassion, and Gratitude,

©Rachael Wolff 2020
Author of Letters from A Better Me
Available in audiobook, audio CD, ebook, and paperback
FromALovingPlace.com/book

I Can’t Change You, You Can’t Change Me

My beliefs have never been changed by force. Each perspective of truth (belief) I’ve changed in my life has been based on if that belief serves the person I want to be and how I want to serve others. When I was younger, I didn’t consciously see my choice in how I viewed myself and the world around me.

Certain beliefs made me feel tense, angry, and rage-filled. When I would think about the thought/belief, my whole energy shifted and I often would feel sick and depleted. It took me a VERY long time and a whole lot of seeds from other people that got me to see I was making choices in my perspectives that were holding me back and keeping me prisoner.

There were some so deeply imbedded that it took voices from the Holocaust like, Viktor Frankl & Elie Weisel. Along with people like, Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, Byron Katie, and stories about Jesus and Siddhartha to help me see that I didn’t HAVE to continue to feel this inner world of pain. Those people were just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve talked to millions of people throughout my life. I read thousands of books. Nobody changed me, but I got the seeds and made choices on what to plant in my internal garden.

When I was young, I thought the world was against me. That belief didn’t feel good to me, because I can’t control how anyone else views me. 

What I do have power over is how I view and treat myself and how I treat others.

If I’m believing something that makes me feel like a prisoner of my perspective, I work on changing that. I found that EVERY time I engage in a perspective based out of fear, I feel like I’m a prisoner. Here is an example of another change I made:

I used to feel like a prisoner when other people would judge me based on a category/title they gave me or that I am naturally.

I changed my perspective to the understanding that people are going to judge me from their own perspectives of truth. That has nothing to do with who I AM. I know if someone speaks to me in a category of ALL: all women, all trauma victims, all white women, etc. that person won’t come close to seeing me, a person is only ever looking at me through their own perspectives of truth. If they want to lump me in an ALL category— That is their loss.

I love and respect myself. I take responsibility and accountability for my thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions.

IN THAT ENERGY, I FEEL FREE. In that freedom, I attract amazing people to my life from different genders, races, cultures, religious followings, political backgrounds, economic statuses, and so much more.The more open I stay, the more I change and grow. Not by force, by choice and action.

Though, no one else changed me, I didn’t change on my own. I got the opportunities to SEE through different perspectives. I got the tools to change. I could only do that by being open to listen to ALL different perspectives to see what fit and what didn’t based on the place I wanted to live from, which is FROM A LOVING PLACE. I’ve disagreed with many of people along the way who tried telling me how I “had to” or “should” think. I know that is part of their journey. I don’t have to make it mine.

I know from my education in science, religion, psychology, spirituality, and personal growth, I can’t project out what I don’t already have inside. If I wanted to live from a loving place, I had to love myself FIRST. I had to experience love from the source of self to even know what I was projecting out to the world. I had to find the voices of leadership through love and not fear.

I can’t make anyone else change, but I will do my best to project the energy that I want to see more of in the world. I will do my best to give the people who want to listen the same opportunities I got. I will listen to the voices of the unheard, and learn and grow from them.

I will keep choosing to do my best to contribute to LOVE in my thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions towards myself and others. You do you! I will be here to representing my perspectives of truth FROM A LOVING PLACE.

With Love, Gratitude, and Compassion, 

Rachael Wolff
Author of Letters from A Better Me
FromALovingPlace.com/book

What is True about Choices?

If you convince yourself you don’t have choices, you will CHOOSE to believe that is true.

If you convince yourself you ALWAYS have choices, you will CHOOSe to believe that is true.

I know which perspective I’m going to choose! Now, you get to choose for you.

Choices of Perspective

I’ve chosen both of these perspectives at different times in my life. One kept me a prisoner and held me under water. The other set me free. I refuse to believe I don’t have choices in how I view things. The perspectives I choose keep me from feeling trapped in any ONE thought or belief system. I LOVE THAT! I CAN CHANGE. I CAN tell others what has worked for me and what hasn’t. In the end, we each get the OPTION to believe whatever we focus our attention on. We will find ways to prove either side. Our perceptions of reality will ensure that. It all starts and ends within. 

I’ve made my choice to live by the voice that fuels the LOVE inside me. You can choose to tell me that is not possible in your life, and you will be right if that is what you believe to be true. 

I believed I was prisoner of my circumstances. NO ONE could convince me otherwise until I was ready to open myself up to see another way. That was and is my path to A BETTER ME.

With Love and Gratitude, 

© Rachael Wolff 2020

Author of Letters From A Better Me
Available in all formats and multiple countries
FromALovingPlace.com/Book

The Ongoing Journey of Letters from A Better Me

https://FromAlovingPlace.com/Book

Ebook and Audiobook Samples

The Latest

This section will be updated with the latest articles, interviews, events, and videos about Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World.

6/4/2020 Contribution to Article about Controlling Men in UpjourneY

UpJourney- Signs of a Controlling Man and How to Deal with Him

5/29/2020 Conversation about Interpretation, Perspective and Purpose with Author Madeline Dyer

5/21/20 diving into Self-Abuse

5/16/20 Audio CD Release

5/16/20 Choices and Perspectives Facebook Live and Youtube

5/11/20 Ravishly.com

As a reader of this wonderful on-line magazine, I dreamed about having a piece featured here. I feel the adrenaline pumping through me as another dream has come true! Learn more about the Letters from A Better Me Journey in this question and answer piece with Erin Khar.

https://ravishly.com/letters-better-me-qa-author-rachael-wolff

5/7/20 Facebook Live Consciously Defining Love and Not Accepting Less

4/29/20 Author Panel: Heart Wisdom in the Coronavirus Crisis

4/29/20 Twitter Interview with Laura Zam #BookPartyChat

https://fromalovingplace.com/2020/05/04/bookpartychat-twitter-interview-about-letters-from-a-better-me/

4/23/20 A Reading from Letters: Accepting Who and Where We Are

4/3/20 Mango Publishing Facebook Live

3/26/2020 Reading recorded from Phoenix & Dragon BookStore on 3/15/20: Finding Our Center

Phoenix & Dragon Bookstore in Atlanta, GA was the first stop on what was supposed to be the Letters from A Better Me Book Tour, but the coronavirus took me on a much different journey from home.

2/18/20 Book Launch Day

Letters from A Better Me was released to the world on February 18, 2020. This piece talks about that AMAZING day.

https://fromalovingplace.com/2020/02/20/book-launch-day-letters-from-a-better-me/

I hope you keep following and enjoying this journey with me! Please feel free to contact me for more information about Letters from A Better Me here:

#MentalHealthAwarenessMonth Consciously Defining Love

#MentalHealthAwarenessMonth

I’ve been watching people throughout this pandemic handle things in much different ways. Some people are stuck in the prisons of their minds. That is one area, I know very well. This month I’ve committed to do a Facebook Live video every week of May to offer some perspectives that will hopefully assist people to tap into the light within them.

Consciously Defining Love

This week’s video is on my absolute favorite subject, LOVE! Defining love was such a vital tool in helping me to set myself free from the prison I was putting myself in. I trust that whoever is supposed to see this video, will.

To anyone feeling unworthy, unlovable, or just plain empty:

I’ve been there. You are not alone and I hope you find comfort in my words.

With Love, Compassion, and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Https://FromALovingPlace.com/book

Samples of ebook and audiobook are available on Amazon (click for Amazon USA).

#BookPartyChat Twitter Interview about LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME

Last Wednesday, I was honored to be a part of a #Bookpartychat. This was my first-ever Twitter interview about Letter from A Better Me and the writing process with the incredible author Laura Zam, The Pleasure Plan.

Below, you will find the interview in its entirety. Each post is embedded from Twitter. You will be able to go into your Twitter account, like, comment, and retweet anything that moves you or you want to talk a little more about. I hope you enjoy this #Bookpartychat.

A Little Bit about Me

About Letters from A Better Me

“Why do you use letters?”

“Are these your personal letters?”

“What do the three parts of the book represent?”

“Was it difficult to write Part I?”

“Did the book help you deal with our current moment?”

“Can you tell us about your writing process?”

“Did you go right to a publisher, or did you use an agent?”

“Can you tell us about your publisher?

“How long did the process take?”

“What do you believe your book has to offer in the midst of the pandemic we are in?”

“If readers could only take one concept from the book, what would it be?”

“What are you working on now?”

“What’s the best way for people to find you?”

You are here, so you have most the links to find me, the only one you may not have is my YouTube Channel: Letters from A Better Me

Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World is available in ALL formats. The booksellers listed in the links below are for the United States, but it is available in multiple countries. Please go to your trusted book sellers to find your copy!

https://fromalovingplace.com/book/

You can find samples of both the ebook and audiobook here:

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Letters to Corona: Part 3

Dear Corona,

Today, I’m honoring the grief I’m feeling in the wake of your wave. My life was moving along in a way I was comfortable until your presence had us close our doors and proceed with caution. I’m grieving the loss of revenue from the events I can’t take part in. I’m grieving for all the broken plans that I was excited for. I’m grieving for my quiet time to work without kids. I’m grieving the loss of my norm. I’m grieving my way of participating in the world. 

Just because I’m grieving these things doesn’t mean I don’t have compassion for those who have lost loved ones, jobs, and homes—I do. My grief is not any less there because someone else’s grief is there too. Grief is not meant to be one-upped. We can grieve different things and each one matters. Each one affects our inner worlds.

I know some will not even get to the place where they are able to name what they are feeling as grief. Some will try to shove it down deep out of guilt for having it. Others will try to rationalize it away because they are blessed with so much, how could they possibly feel grief? Some will run to addiction in their denial. No thoughts or actions will stop grief from coming through the door. They will wreak havoc on our nervous systems. They will create internal war, pain, resentment, and shame. 

In hindsight, I was unknowingly resisting my own grief.  When it came in, the grief felt like a rogue wave knocking me down and catching me in it’s pull. I struggled to find my footing and kept fighting to breathe. Only because I’ve experienced, studied, and processed grief did I recognize it by name when it flooded in. I had moved through the denial and felt the loss fully with no control over the tears that came streaming down my face. I’m still not done, but I’m healing because I’m allowing myself to feel.

I’ve struggled for my footing after being knocked down by grief, but I know I will come out stronger than I was before. I went to people I knew would understand and where I didn’t feel alone. I’m taking the time and space to sit with my grief, while not denying the affect it has on me. I ask Spirit for assistance in moving through what I’m feeling in the healthiest way possible. I heard the call to write, and I’m listening. I got the message to breathe and stretch—I’m doing just that. I’m not alone. Experiencing this has shown me how much I’ve grown, and how much I still have to learn. 

Thank you for your continued lessons in compassion for myself and others. I’m grateful for the reminder that grief is apart of this process and we will each experience it in different ways. I honor my grief and I honor the grief of my fellow humans.

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

©Rachael Wolff 2020

Letters to Corona: Part 2

Dear Corona,

Tick-tock, tick-tock; time.  Until you, I never noticed time the way I do now. I notice the time I waste and the time I unconsciously give away. I notice the power of the time I commit to myself and the people I love. I notice the importance of time we give to slow you down from touching the lives you will put in the ground. 

There is a power that comes from the time I’ve been blessed with, like the stem that sprouts buds then becomes flowers that inspire such beauty, and the caterpillar that take the journey through the stillness of the chrysalis to become the empowered butterfly—Time MATTERS! 

You have given me time while others have had to learn what it means to truly lose time. The time we think we have to say I love you. The time we think we have to connect—the time to say goodbye. Your lessons have showed me the importance of the time I have. Now it’s my job to make conscious choices of how I want to experience my time moment to moment­­.

I sit in the grass appreciating nature, the power of energy, and the connectedness of it all. I walk the road less travelled and am moved by how in silence I hear more, listen more, and take in more. 

When I’m home, I love with a clearer mind. I eat without the rush of having somewhere else to be. I listen with my whole heart, through the sadness, fear, joy, and love—I’m here.

Corona, you have changed my life in so many ways. I know I could focus on all the things you have taken away, but today I’m focusing on the time you’ve given me to live consciously.

With Love and Gratitude, 

A Better Me

© Rachael Wolff 2020