#PerspectiveChallenge: I, We, He, She, They, or It Should Have

PERSPECTIVE: I, WE, HE, SHE, THEY, OR IT SHOULD HAVE

We can give should a lot of power over our lives if we are not careful. I don’t care who we are shoulding. When we should a person or situation, we are fighting the reality of what is. Shoulding is a form of shaming ourselves and others. I used to use should haves to beat myself up in ways way beyond what anyone else could ever do to me. I used should to keep me prisoner of my self-proclaimed pity party. I also used should haves against other people and situations to keep me prisoner of my past and to punish them.  The should haves create toxic energy. The question is, do you really want to be carrying that around? If we carry that energy around with us, it will unconsciously seep into what we feel, think, and do. 

What should have been is an illusion and a toxic one at that. It is NOT reality. What happened is what should have happened, because it is what happened—that is reality. What are we going to do with what happened? No reason to waste time and energy on on should haves. Empower yourself and your energy to move you to make the changes you can make right now.

If we didn’t do something:

  • What did we learn from not doing it?
  • Are we committed to doing better next time?
  • What can we do right now to help us to move past our learning experience (let it go, forgive ourselves, pray, express gratitude for the lesson, etc.)?

If someone else or others didn’t do something:

  • What did it teach us about the person and/or group?
  • What choices do we have in the present to change the affect of their actions on our lives? 
  • How will be proceed with this person and/or people (accept, forgive, walk away, stand up to, report, etc)?

If we believe something should have been different:

  • What lessons can we take from the situation? 
  • What positives came from the situation?
  • How can we shift our energy to accept the reality of the situation?

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Challenge yourself to shift your perspective from should have to a more productive energy booster for you. Anytime you hear should have pop into your thoughts—challenge it. Ask yourself questions like the ones up above. See how your energy shifts. Be conscious of how you feel when you think should have

  • Where do you feel it? 
  • How does that feeling move through your body? 

After you have gained perspective, check in again. 

  • How does the thought feel? 
  • Where do you feel it? 
  • How is it affecting your mood to think about learning instead of fighting the reality of what already happened?

Have a perspective-filled day!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

#PerspectiveChallenge: That Is SO True

PERSPECTIVE: THAT IS SO TRUE

I, like many, find myself saying this when I see positive quotes, read articles, go to seminars, watch TV, and talk to like-minded people. This statement can feel great when we feel and/or say it. It wasn’t until I started my From A Loving Place Facebook page that I realized for every quote that I felt was SO TRUE, there were people out there seeing it from a completely different perspective. Through their eyes, it wasn’t true at all. When I would engage with them, most times they didn’t even consider it in the way that I was thinking about it, and the same for me.

As true as it is for me, it might not be the same for someone else, which got me thinking about when I strongly disagree with something. Once again, we are all living in our own perspectives of truth. Doing the challenge below helped me to not take other people’s disagreements personally. The challenge also helped me open myself to change perspectives that don’t feel good to me. Here are two examples:

  • A perspective that is true for me now is: I have the power to empower or disempower my life by the perspectives I choose to let guide my journey. I know that some people will agree and others won’t, but the difference is I know that I’m living my truth and I know that the people who disagree are living theirs.
  • I used to think that is SO TRUE, when people said, “Love hurts.” That was a painful perspective to believe. I researched and found a definition of love that I could stand be behind. Once I did that, I realized what hurts has nothing to do with love. What hurts has everything to do with what came from living in fear: anger, jealously, rage, deceit, betrayal, envy, … I found this perspective to be true for me, and it feels SO MUCH BETTER!

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Think about a perspective of truth that you believe is SO TRUE. Write down why the perspective feels true for you. If it feels good to you, write down “This perspective of truth is true for me.” If you write down a perspective that feels SO TRUE, but it doesn’t contribute to you living your best life, challenge yourself to research other perspectives of truth that can help you disprove the belief you are carrying that is hurting you. Then write down a perspective that feels better to you and write, “This perspective of truth feels good to me.”

If you don’t feel like you want to write it down, practice saying them when you see things or hear things where you think the thought, that is SO TRUE. Just opening your mind to the possibility will create a shift in your thinking. That’s where the magic begins.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Author of LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World

Available NOW for Pre-order in paperback, ebook, and audiobook

#PerspectiveChallenge: I Can’t Stand When People Use the Word…

PERSPECTIVE: I CAN’T STAND WHEN PEOPLE USE THE WORD…

Our attachment to words can create a lot of conflict in our lives, and often times when other people use the words that we HATE they aren’t using them in the same way as we are interpreting them. I’m amazed at the amount of verbal attacks that happen over the use of words, and it gets even more complicated when we think about some of the words that people hate, empower others. This can make communication quite the challenge. 

What words get under your skin?

What words have a negative impact on you but a positive impact on someone else? 

If a word has a negative impact on the way you feel, what you think, how you act, and or react towards others, you are giving the word power over you. Do you really want a word that someone else uses to create stress in your world? The words others use reflect their reality. Knowing our own trigger words can help us to not give them power over us. When we hold ourselves accountable and responsible for the energy we exude, we start changing how we let things get to us.

There are ways we can communicate with others without creating a war with words. If we tell people how a word makes us feel, they may explain to us how they actually meant it. We can also simply ask them, “Why did you chose to use that word?” When we approach a situation with curiosity instead of judgment, we diffuse the situation and the power it has over us. If you don’t like their perspective of truth, you don’t have to live by it, but creating more negativity around a word, will affect YOUR energy, so be conscious of what you want to put out into the world. You have to ask yourself— Is another person’s use of words worth you losing your peace?

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Take a word you have a negative attachment to and come up with three different thoughts about the word that take away the power it has over you. You will be amazed at how well this works the next time the word comes up in conversation.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Great News!

Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Transforms the World is now available for pre-order on Audiobook (click for link).

#PerspectiveChallenge: I Hate Mondays

Perspective: I Hate Mondays

One of the greatest ways to find peace is to find where our own perspectives are going against the peace we want to feel. Here is a prime example in a perspective that sets many of our weeks up for challenge and struggle. 

I hate Mondays can also be referred to as: 

  • Mondays Suck
  • Mondays are the worst
  • Can’t we just skip Monday
  • Well, it’s Monday…

When we believe these thoughts, we open ourselves up to focus on everything bad about Mondays. When we focus on everything bad, we attract more bad. Where is the peace in that?

When we become aware of how we are working against ourselves, we become open to make new choices in our thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions. What you choose right now can set a whole new chain of events in motion, and it all begins with what is happening between our own two ears. 

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Today’s #perspectivechallenge is to write down at least 5 positive perspectives about Mondays. Then EVERY time you find yourself thinking a negative Monday thought: say, write, and/or sing three positive perspectives. 

Feel free to share some positive Monday perspectives in the comments section.

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

  • Mondays are an opportunity to introduce something different in my weekly routine.
  • Mondays give me an opportunity to serve my community.
  • Mondays offer me new learning experiences.
  • Mondays are for finding ways to make work fun.
  • I love Mondays!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World is available for pre-order! Order your copy today from one of your favorite book retailers.

Revealing the Transformative Journey of Letters from A Better Me

How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World is a transformational guide igniting the empowered women we’ve suppressed for too long. Discover how holding onto all the anger, fear, hate, and separation is keeping us trapped in the ongoing cycle of destruction. The flame has been lit to create positive change. Now is our time to become the best versions of ourselves and have a lasting effect on the world. 

The journey starts with taking a trip into our own darkness. We take off our blinders and become aware of how the attacks on women affect us. Once we are aware, we begin to accept what is and heal from the past. We stop allowing negativity to drive our lives and let loving energy take the wheel.

 Finally, we shift into action and become the positive change we want to see, instead of festering in the anger, rage, and fear of where we have already been.  #Metoo, Rise Up, and Times Up ignited a flame we can’t let go out. Let’s honor the brave women who stood to show the world that mistreating women is NOT acceptable anymore. See how letter writing as a Better Me becomes a contract with yourself to being the best version of you.

The letters shift the negative self-talk and blame into true empowerment. You will release the negative emotional attachments that keep you from the experiencing authentic love, which is the essential energy for lasting change. Show the world what you stand for. Free the empowered woman within you! Empower yourself, change the world!

How Letters from A Better Me Helps the Reader

This book is meant to bring up what is under the surface that is holding the reader back. There are exercises at the end of each section to help the reader process the information and transform toxic thoughts, beliefs, perspectives, and feelings into life-changing energy. The more we see, the more we heal. The key to this process is to be open and honest about what is really going on inside of us. People sometimes wonder why the Law of Attraction, positive thinking, and treating others the way we want to be treated doesn’t work. Letters from A Better Me uncovers the reality of why they are not working for you, and how to make them work.

Right now, many women are consumed by the cycle of fear, anger, and rage reinforced by media and  society. Causes that continue to be driven by these negative emotions will create more separation. The world needs a new perspective that will break the cycle. How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World is about inclusion and helping women see where their true power lies. A woman’s internal energy must project the change she wants to see. If her internal energy is immersed with hate, anger, rage, and separation, she will create more of that. If she is filled with love, compassion, passion, and empathy, she will ignite and create lasting positive change in the world. 

How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World follows the belief system that is best explained in a quote by Byron Katie: “The most attractive thing about the Buddha was that he saved one person: himself. That’s all he needed to save; when he saved himself, he saved the whole world.”

Here’s What the Initial Readers are saying about LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME

“Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World provides a powerful roadmap for the journey from suffering to empowerment to peace. Personal and deeply passionate, Rachael Wolff’s perspective-expanding wisdom, and loving insights, serve as an inspirational reminder of the following: “I raise up my voice—not so I can shout, but so that those without a voice can be heard.” 

Bridgitte Jackson-Buckley, author of The Gift of Crisis: How I Used Meditation to Go From Financial Failure to a Life of Purpose

Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World takes the reader on a complete journey from the depths of chaos to true empowerment.  You will want to laugh, cry, shout, and chant. It is a must-read for the times we live in. Wolff helps the reader see deep down within to find the spark buried under years of misunderstanding. This is not only a book you will want to read, but a book you will want to pass down to the generations that come after you. 

—Becca Anderson, author of The Book of Awesome Women

“This book takes a creative approach to unfiltered flow writing. Engaging in this personal process can lead to increased empowerment at a time when freeing women’s authentic voices is essential.”

—Marta Ockuly, PhD, President & CEO, Creative Potential Institute, Inc.

“Rachael Wolff’s, Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World gives the reader a powerful historical perspective on the woman as victim, the overt and subliminal messages passed down through the generations and the ways in which women have contributed to their lack of value in the world.  Wolff does not just catalogue these perspectives; she gives the reader a practical and powerful series of exercises to help women let go of their chains of victimhood and claim their roles as architects of their own destiny. So that our daughters won’t have to suffer as we did.  A brilliant analysis and a practical self help book all in one!”

—Norma Greenberg, Founder of Comprehensive College Consulting, Harvard M.A.T., Northeastern University C.A.G.S, Former President of the New England Association for College Admission Counseling, Former board member of the New England Regional Council of the College Board

“This guidebook transports the reader from awareness to action and ultimately victorious transformation. The author helps navigate past stumbling through the rubble of life’s quakes, to a highly accessible path of personal empowerment and joy. If you’ve ever experienced trauma or a harsh slap in your faith while remaining a silent victim Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World gives you the power to finally speak in a brave voice and stand for what you believe in.”

—D.C. Stanfa, author, The Art of Table Dancing  

“I had the pleasure of reading an advanced copy of Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World. What a FANTASTIC read! Rachael does a wonderful job of guiding the readers to take a look within and explore their own psyche. I love the format of the author’s letters. These spur the readers to dive deeper into their own life experiences and thoughts. This book guides us to dig a little deeper, empower ourselves, and create positive change. It encourages the reader to be kinder and better understanding—which can only be of benefit to humanity. I highly recommend this book for your own bedside table and as a gift for someone you love!”

—Sheila M. Burke, Best-selling author Wall Street Journal and USA Today, I Am What’s Wrong and founder of Being Better Humans

 “I am so impressed with Rachael Wolff and how she has taken what she’s collected along the way and transformed it all into something we can all benefit from!  She is a gift! What Wolff has done in her book Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World is create a process that permits us to be open, honest, thorough and vulnerable.  To own the pieces that comprises us.  And through reflection, become our own catalyst for self-change. It takes a plan and it takes practice. An empowered woman knows how to empower other women.  Through the experience exchange we learn to hear clues that are a cry for help—first in ourselves, and then our sisters.  Wolff has created a model that could very well break a cycle of good intentions and instead, lead to change.”

—Kristie Kindstrom, Vice President Wealth Solutions Raymond James, Co-chair of Women’s Interactive Network at Raymond James inspiring women’s professional and career development

Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World is available for pre-order at some of your favorite on-line book retailers: Amazon, BAM, Barnes & Noble, and Indiebound.org. You can order right from here. You can also add Letters from A Better Me to your “Want to Read” list on Goodreads.

Were you were thinking that this would be the perfect gift for a friend, loved one, neighbor, co-worker, and/or charity?

Letters from A Better Me comes out on February 18, 2020, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t give it as a gift before then. Here are some gift giving ideas:

  • Get a journal and inside the front cover write a note that includes that they will be receiving their copy of Letters from A Better Me in February.
  • There are many places on-line and even in Microsoft Word that you can make your own gift certificate.
  • Buy a little memento with an encouraging message and write in a card letting them know they be receiving their copy.
  • Do you want a personal note from me? Send me an e-mail at lettersfromabetterme@gmail.com and in the subject line write “PERSONAL NOTE”. Attach a picture of your pre-order confirmation and send me the name of the recipient. I will email you a printable PDF with a personal note.

Do You Want to Read Something Now While You Wait?

You can pass the time reading the 90-Day A Better Me Series right here to get you started on the transformation. Thank you for all the support! If it weren’t for my readers, this book would still just be a dream in my head. Let’s make 2020 the best year yet!

A BIG thank you to my agent, Tina Wainscott (The Seymour Agency). Your belief in this project and me is why we are here today. Also, I want to thank the Mango Publishing team. I have enjoyed working with each and every person at this amazing company. There is a reason they are the fastest growing independent publisher. I’m so excited to be on this journey with you all.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff #LettersfromABetterMe

Feel-Good Friday Book Series: The Yamas & Niyamas

FEEL-GOOD FRIDAY

BOOKS THAT GAVE ME SEEDS TO THRIVE (Click link for the introduction to the series)

Sometimes we are taken on unexpected journeys. A few years ago, I went on a yoga and hiking retreat in Sedona, AZ. During the retreat, we were given the book, The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele. Before this journey, I knew the benefits of the breathing and stretching of yoga, but I had no idea how deep the practice actually went.

If I hadn’t gone on this retreat, I wouldn’t have sought this book out, because I didn’t know what I didn’t know. As I read the book, I wrote in the margins, underlined, and highlighted. With one read the book is well marked with inspiration, hope, connection, and faith.

Within the pages were concepts I knew just spoken from a different perspective of truth. Knowing that helped me to open up so much wider. I started to connect so much of what I’ve been practicing into my physical movements, which was a skill I hadn’t yet learned to do. Now, when I do the physical act of yoga, it carries so much more meaning.

As I said, a good chunk of the book is marked up, so for this quote I just went with a powerful message that stood out as I flipped back through the pages.

Favorite Quote from The Yamas & Niyamas

(click on the book title to check out the book for yourself)

“As long as we think satisfaction comes from an external source, we can never be content. Looking outward for fulfillment will always disappoint us and keep contentment one step out of reach.”

-Deborah Adele, The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice, p. 121.

Thank you to all the people who have been reading the Feel-Good Friday Book Series. This is the 9th book, and it feels like it’s time to stop. You will still continue to see quotes from the books I love along the way, but I’m being led to do something else now. I urge you to come along on the journey. Make sure you are following via email to get the latest posts and news. Enjoy your journey, and trust the books that come to you along the way. They may just have what you need to give you seeds to thrive.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Catch up on Your Feel-Good Friday Book Series Here:

I Am What’s Wrong 

Your Creative Brain

Hope for the Flowers

The Tao of Pooh

A New Earth

The Four Agreements

Healing the Shame that Binds You

Power

Feel-Good Friday Book Series: Power

FEEL-GOOD FRIDAY

BOOKS THAT GAVE ME SEEDS TO THRIVE (Click link for the introduction to the series)

Power: Surviving & Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse by Shahida Arabi was one of THE most important books I ever read to complete my healing from narcissistic abuse. For me, it was the final piece of the puzzle that I couldn’t understand. I had no idea how calculated narcissistic abuse was. She would say thing that were said to me verbatim. All the research studies I read didn’t cover that. I remember listening to the audiobook and just sitting there with my mouth opened as I listened to what seemed like old memories. Arabi helps the reader detach from the part of ourselves that wants to play rescuer, at least that is what she did for me.

After reading this book it was much easier for me to stick to my healthy boundaries and create a healthy distance. When I was coming out of the haze of narcissistic abuse I had a lot of resources I was using to build my self-worth, heal, and find my inner peace. So many of the tools I used were mentioned in this book, which is why I recommend it to ANY person coming out of or still in a relationship with someone who could possibly be a narcissist or sociopath.

Power: Surviving & Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse is available on audiobook and paperback and I have both. If you are the beginning of your recovery, you will definitely want to read this book multiple times. My wish is that people read the book all the way through because there are so many jewels of wisdom throughout and it will help you thrive if you do the work.

There were many passages in this book that gave me seeds to thrive, so picking one quote is very challenging. I keep going back and worth on which one to do. So here’s what I landed on, because this was the piece of the puzzle that was missing from my recovery before reading this book.

Favorite Quote from Power

(click on the book title to check out the book for yourself)

“It’s not that they can’t help it, or that they’re utterly helpless to their disorder—it’s that they selectively choose which victims to devalue and discard, and those victims ten to be loved ones.”

-Shahida Arabi, Power: Surviving & Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse, p. 99

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Catch up on Your Feel-Good Friday Book Series Here:

I Am What’s Wrong 

Your Creative Brain

Hope for the Flowers

The Tao of Pooh

A New Earth

The Four Agreements

Healing the Shame that Binds You

Feel-Good Friday Book Series: Healing the Shame that Binds You

FEEL-GOOD FRIDAY

BOOKS THAT GAVE ME SEEDS TO THRIVE (Click link for the introduction to the series)

Today I picked a book that got me to the core of my deepest darkest obstacles that were holding me down, Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw. I remember feeling so desperate to find out why I kept repeating patterns that kept me in unhealthy situations. I had been reading, studying, going to therapy for years, and I didn’t realize how powerful the shame was that I felt. I didn’t realize it was the shame that kept me sabotaging the good in my life. Reading this book and putting all the pieces together helped me to see how important it was for me to forgive myself and re-evaluate the beliefs that were keeping me hostage to my shame.

I read through the book, then listened to the audiobook probably three times in a row. I wanted to REALLY release the shame that was creating so many obstacles in my life. When we look at the shame, we heal it. The only way shame survives is if it remains a secret. Bradshaw shows the reader how to release the shame and strip it of it’s power. It really is that powerful of a book if you are open to do the work.

Even though I didn’t agree with everything he wrote, it didn’t matter because what did resonate was huge! We each have to decide what feels right and what doesn’t. A person can have perspectives we agree with and ones that we don’t, it’s our job to plant the seeds we want, and leave the rest for someone else if that is what feels right for them.

Bradshaw really did teach me to heal the shame that was binding me, but I could only do that because I did the work using the tools he gave me. If you have toxic shame, do the work. It is worth it! It has benefited my life in so many ways and helped me to establish healthy relationships with myself and others.

Favorite Quote from Healing the Shame that Binds You

(click on the book title to check out the book for yourself)

“Without total self-love and acceptance, we are doomed to enervative task of creating false selves.”

John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You, 1988

With Love & Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Catch up on Your Feel-Good Friday Book Series Here:

I Am What’s Wrong 

Your Creative Brain

Hope for the Flowers

The Tao of Pooh

A New Earth

The Four Agreements

Feel-Good Friday Book Series: The Four Agreements

FEEL-GOOD FRIDAY

BOOKS THAT GAVE ME SEEDS TO THRIVE (Click link for the introduction to the series)

Don Miguel Ruiz was my voice of reason through many of my dark times. In The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom his writing really did show me a path to freedom. I honestly believe that by planting the seeds he gave me, I am where I am today living an authentic life. It was amazing how many lessons I have applied to my life since the first time I read the book over 11 years ago. The first time I read the book, I wasn’t ready to apply the ideas. The second time, I was so desperate to change for the sake of my sanity. Now, I get to look back and see how far I have come and get some reminders to keep me going. This is a book I will continue to recommend to anyone who wants to live a more peaceful life. He repeats concepts and ideas in multitude of ways. This gives the reader the best chance of being able to absorb the material. The better I am at applying the agreements to my life, the more amazing my adventures become.  

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS

  1. BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD
  2. DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
  3. DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
  4. ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

-Don Miguel Ruiz

There are so many powerful messages  throughout the book.  I hope you will pick it up for the first time or for a re-read. It is important to get the reminders, because we always have something we can work on. It really is so hard to pick one quote, so I will give you two.

Favorite Quote from The Four Agreements:

(click on the book title to check out the book for yourself)

“If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you.”

Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements, p. 58

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Catch up on Your Feel-Good Friday Book Series Here:

I Am What’s Wrong 

Your Creative Brain

Hope for the Flowers

The Tao of Pooh

A New Earth

Dreams Coming True: Becoming the Butterfly

Dear Dreamers, 

I’m writing this today simply because I am beyond excited for what is going on in my life right now. As I reflect on my journey so far, I’m simply amazed at how each and every event in my life has played such an important role in where I am right now. If you follow my writing, you understand that I use nature a lot to make sense of the journey. I want to bring you into my mind’s garden.

My Internal Garden

As a child, my garden was filled with weeds, smuggling vines, and invasive species that tried to kill off any of the beautiful life I would try to plant. So much so that it almost smuggled the life right out of me. It was in 1996 when I realized that I could clear out some of these weeds. That’s when I was launched into a career of public speaking. I planted flower after flower and tree after tree, but what I didn’t realize is that because I didn’t fix the foundation my garden was on, one day I would sabotage this dream come true. 

Those smuggling vines took over my garden once again and I went on a downward spiral. I had so much to learn. Looking back I’m so grateful for all my lessons in my time of darkness. I was living life as a caterpillar that spewed toxic venom because of the environment I created. There were still trees of life and wisdom trying to survive which would lead me to seek help when I was desperate enough to realize that I didn’t like the person I had become. Looking back I was given so many amazing seeds during this time, and it was a message from a pastor that finally led me to really invest myself in not only cleaning up the invasive species from my garden, but to clean up my foundation so that my trees could grow and provide the food that the caterpillar needs to transform into the butterfly. 

His message was that we only allow ourselves as much happiness that we believe we deserve. If we exceed that level of happiness, we will sabotage it. 

You better believe I started getting really dirty in my garden to figure out why I didn’t believe I deserved happiness in my life. As I dug deeper, and got dirtier, the work brought me peace. The more peace I found digging in my garden, the healthier my soil became. I started taking care of those seeds that were given to me. My caterpillar self, started to build a chrysalis. 

I sat for a long time in my chrysalis gaining strength, reflecting, and transforming. In the chrysalis is where I learned the power of letting go and forgiveness. The person I needed to forgive the most was myself. From there, I found away to learn from all the traumas in my life.

What I learned gave me power to plant more amazing trees and let them flourish. I absorbed lesson after lesson of on perspectives to understand how powerful each and every person is at creating their own gardens, and that what others chose to plant was not my business. All I can ever do for someone is to offer seeds in the way that I know best. I also have to take responsibility if I learn that the seeds I’m passing aren’t healthy.

In my chrysalis I found stillness, presence, and mindfulness to keep me in the mindset of maintaining my garden. I realized that any belief that causes me pain doesn’t HAVE to be in my garden, that is a choice I’m making. I have the power to choose my feelings, thoughts, beliefs/perspectives, actions, and reactions. I will learn from each decision I make and I will allow this choice to set me free­— with that, I became the butterfly. My garden now healthy and well maintained provides me with all that I need to keep me nourished, energized, rested, and able to soar. 

This doesn’t mean I won’t need to go back on a caterpillar’s journey again, because each time I do go back, I learn more. I no longer resent the journey, I embrace it, because I know it leads to breakthrough. I gain more perspective, and I become a better version of myself. I just don’t stay in the caterpillar state as long. I move into my chrysalis absorb my lessons and come out more empowered and colorful each time. 

Why Am I Sharing this Journey with You?

I created a program called, “Becoming the Butterfly” that I’m launching at a Dreamer’s Paradise *Now or Never event in St. Petersburg, FL, Oct. 26, 2019. As I’ve been preparing for this moment, I’m flooded with emotion because this will be my first event since 2002. I started my public speaking career in the Tampa Bay Area and now I’m going back there to re-launch my career with so much more to offer. I’m coming home. I’ve been standing up in front of crowds since I was 14-years old. I went on to earn awards in high school for public speaking, English, and guidance, yet back then never knew that it would lead to a path that I loved being on. My garden is exactly how I want it right now. I’m ready to share the seeds that helped me to create it.

This comes in perfect timing as my first book is coming out on February 18, 2020. Make no mistake; there is a reason the butterfly is on the cover. You can read more about it and *pre-order your copy today. 

If you want to start getting dirty right now, you can go to my *90-Day A Better Me Series

Just remember we are the ones who create our gardens.  We have to provide ourselves with the right food to nurture us to become the butterfly. Watching butterflies soar above us, won’t give us our wings. If we want to live the life of our dreams, we can’t just admire the butterflies around us. We have to do the work it takes to become the butterfly. Only then will we soar.

Thank you for being on this journey with me by reading my work. I started writing this blog in 2016 as way to help me maintain my garden. Focusing on perspectives that keep my energy in a loving place has been such an empowering tool. It keeps my foundation filled with love, which is what encourages all the seeds I want in my garden to grow. I am beyond grateful to each individual who has told me how my seeds have helped her/him. I can’t make anyone plant seeds in their gardens and nobody can make me plant seeds I don’t want in mine, so when I know that a person made the conscious decision to do it, I’m truly honored. 

I hope you will join me in spreading the love on social media. The *Facebook.com/FromALovingPlace page offers lots and lots of daily encouragement from pages who have a like-minded visions of  raising our collective energy. You will find all my social media links at on the main page to the left. I hope you decide to work on your garden so that you can be living the life of your dreams. 

With Love and Gratitude, 

Rachael Wolff 

*Links for more information

Read more about my perspectives on cleaning up our internal gardens here.