90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 83 – Taking Responsibility for Inviting the Dark Energy into My Internal Home

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 83: Taking Responsibility for Inviting the Dark Energy into My Internal Home

Dear Self,

I’m the only one who can invite dark energy into my internal home. I trust that if I attach to a person’s darkness in the physical world and invite that darkness to stir inside of me, I’ve invited the darkness in. I’m responsible for anything the darkness does inside of my internal home. If I’m attaching to the darkness, there is a reason for it. I have something to learn from it. I have a piece of me to heal if I’ve invited darkness in to teach me what I need to learn. I am resisting learning, which is why the darkness came to my door.

I have options when I see that I’ve invited the darkness into my home. The darkness stimulates fear, judgment, guilt, shame, hate, vengeance, greed, and/or ego—Just to name a few. I can see options in my thinking that will stimulate love, compassion, empathy, peace, joy, connection, and hope. I can find reasons to look at the situation from different perspectives to see that the only thing that is trapping me in my darkness are my thoughts. I am choosing my thoughts, so I have the key to get out of the darkness when I’m ready.

I can turn on the light. My first step towards turning on the light is prayer. I pray for the courage to face myself in my darkness. I know that the person, thing, or event in my physical world only triggered me to see my darkness. Now by choosing to shine the light on it, I’m willing to look deeper to see what my dark corner has hidden. For that, I need courage. Once I pray, I like giving myself space to mediate. When I’m quiet and my breath is steady, I hear the Divine whisper to me. If I don’t hear the answer consciously yet, my next step is to go out in nature and focus on what I see, hear, smell, touch, and/or taste. This opens my senses up to receiving answers. Most times nature offers me some insight. I go and stretch through my thoughts and center myself with the Earth through the practice of yoga. I don’t usually have to go any further, but sometimes if the dark energy is just lodged down deep, I shake it out and dance. My light switch clicks on.

This is where I can spot any toxic waste and build-up that is hidden in the dark. These are my old perspectives of truth that I may have thought I got rid of but they are still lingering and spreading like mold. These are those old beliefs that say things like, People have to like me so that I have value, I’m small, I’m unlovable, I’m a victim, I’m more important than another person, I’m less important than another person, I’m nothing, I’m entitled to more, I don’t deserve more, etc. I have to look at my toxic energy that is causing toxic patterns in my life. Those toxic patterns are what I attach to in other people’s darkness. If I’m being triggered by darkness, I’m in a great space to see the secrets that are being hidden in those dark corners.

Now, I can clean it out. My self-care regimen can help me to work through these old beliefs that I’m attaching to. I don’t have space for them anymore. It’s time to replace them with perspectives of truth that make my internal home warm, cozy, safe, comfortable, beautiful, loving, and inspiring. I pray for assistance to help me transform any toxic energy into light producing energy so that I’m able to project more love out into the world. The more clarity I get, the better the job I do at cleaning up the mess. I’m responsible for the upkeep, maintenance, growth, development, and expansion of my internal home.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m so grateful for the dark energy that I invited in because it showed me what areas of my internal home that still need work.
  2. I’m grateful that I’m empowered to make the changes I need to in order to shine my light.
  3. I’m grateful to God for helping me find my courage and strength to face my darkness and take responsibility for it.
  4. I’m grateful to the people who trigger my darkness because they help me to become a better version of me.
  5. I’m grateful for all the unlimited choices I have on perspectives. I love that I ALWAYS have options of how I want to look at things.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 83 – Taking Responsibility for Inviting Dark Energy into Our Internal Homes

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 80 – Living Gratitude in My Relationships

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 80: Living Gratitude in My Relationships

Dear Universe,

I feel so incredibly blessed to have the relationships I do in my life. I feel blessed to have learned so much from the relationships of my past. I feel so incredibly blessed to be living gratitude in my relationships more than I choose to live in lack now. I’m so incredibly grateful to experience so many different people with different backgrounds, experience, and opinions. Each one helps me to grow exponentially.

Living Gratitude in my relationships has shown me exactly where I am in my perspective. When I see someone’s light, I’m in my light. If I see and react to someone’s darkness, I’m in my darkness. If I respond to someone’s darkness from a loving and grateful place, I’m in my brightest light. If I feel my inner people pleaser emerging, I’m stuck in feelings and energy of lack. If I do things for others, because it feels good to do it, I’m in my feelings and energy of abundance. Living in gratitude helps me to spot, shift, and change my feelings, thoughts, and actions to project abundance to the people I’ve chosen to love, honor, and respect. I’m so incredibly grateful to have learned how to do this. The blessings that have come from living gratitude in my relationships are nothing short of miracles.

Seeing the best in people in my life has helped me to see the best in myself. When I can spot the beauty in them, I see that I had to project that beauty out to be attracted back to me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to recognize and appreciate it. I would still be stuck in picking apart the other person if I was picking apart myself. I see now that the only time I’m picking on someone else to others or even to myself is when I’m digging at myself. I may be angry with myself for saying yes when I know that I wanted to say no. I may be feeling weak because I sacrificed my healthy boundaries to appease someone else’s comfort. I may be feeling justified in my toxic energy I’m putting out because someone else’s is worse. I may be feeling insecure about who I am so I take it out on someone else.  Anyway I look at it, it all comes back to the energy that I’m putting out and that is MY choice.

I want the people I love to know exactly how much I love and appreciate them. I want them to see how much them being in my life means to me. I can only do this by choosing to live in gratitude in my relationships. In order to do that, I must decide to live gratitude in my life.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for my children for being who they are and showing me ways to be a better mom daily.
  2. I’m grateful for my dad and my “special mom” who taught me so much about love, life, growth, and death.
  3. I’m grateful for my mom being a beacon of light even when I am in my darkness.
  4. I’m grateful for my sister for helping me to learn so much about what it means to be strong and compassionate while standing up for the people we love. I’m incredibly grateful for her ability to bring out the best laughs in me by the mere sound of her laughter.
  5. I’m grateful for my stepdad for loving me like I am his own and being such an amazing friend.
  6. I’m grateful to my amazing partner who I can love and accept for who he is and where we are in each moment. I’m so grateful we both know how to support each other in loving and encouraging ways.
  7. I’m grateful to all my incredible extended family who show up with love and support no matter how much time passes.
  8. I’m grateful to my absolutely AMAZING soul sister and agent for encouraging me to spread my voice and my work as we travel this life’s journey together. I’m so incredibly grateful for the day when everything came together in the Universe for us to meet over a decade ago.
  9. I’m grateful for my friends new and old who show me my light and my darkness and give me so many opportunities to live, laugh, and love.
  10. I’m grateful for the relationships that trigger my darkness so I can see it and heal it.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

If you missed it, check out today’s installment get 6 Simple Steps to Living Gratitude in Your Relationships by following this link: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 80 – Living Gratitude in Our Relationships

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 80 – Living Gratitude in Our Relationships

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 80: Living Gratitude in Our Relationships

“Service and gratitude will fuel your relationship; entitlement and expectation will poison it. “

-Steve Maraboli

Today we are expanding on what I covered in Part II on Day 49 “Gratitude in Our Relationships”. Living gratitude is the next step in the process. Our relationships are our biggest teachers for where we are in our darkness and our light. The longer we are in a relationship with someone, the more he/she gets to see us unmasked. That is why familial relationships and romantic relationships have the opportunity to see the most light (love/abundance) and dark (fear/lack) in us, just like we have a front row seat to see the most of their light and their darkness.

Any relationship we put our identity into the title of that relationship has a better chance of them and us lingering in darkness (Day 77). The best way to bring our relationships into the light is through gratitude. When we sit in gratitude, our focus is on love, abundance, and light. We are seeing the love within ourselves and within them. We are seeing the relationships right now in this moment instead of putting our focus on the past or some unknown future. If our focus is on gratitude, love, and abundance, we project gratitude, love and abundance onto the people we are with. When they feel that coming off of us, if they are healthy, loving individuals it will be reflected back to us.

Side Note: If the individuals are stuck in their darkness, I will be talking about that on Days 81-84, because we are going to have people in our lives who will try to dim our lights, so having tools is extremely important.

We have a choice in our relationships of where to put our focus. If we are constantly focused on everything these relationships don’t offer us, what the individuals aren’t doing, how they aren’t filling our expectations, how being her/himself isn’t enough and/or our own sense of entitlement—We are stuck in our own darkness and lack. We only see in lack if we are there ourselves. When our focus is on love, light, and abundance, we see from a loving place. We project our light. The blessing is when we start focusing on the light in others; their light has the opportunity to shine even brighter. Sometimes our darkness wasn’t dimming their light, it was just blinding us to it because we were stuck in our dark.

Living gratitude in our relationships is path to our authentic joy. Just think of the difference in how you feel when you are focused on the things you love as opposed to the things you hate. How do you feel in your body when you are celebrating the love within you? How do you feel in your body when your energy is in the darkness of hate? Each of those is projecting out of you like an invisible beacon and it is attracting back matching energy. Your light is attracting the light within the people around you. Your darkness is attracting the darkness within the people around you. This is not a judgment. In religious terms, we reap what we sow. We only receive what we already have inside and what we are spreading to others is what will we get back. In ancient religious terms it is the Law of karma, which is defined as a natural and universal law (karma is also used philosophically in many contexts outside of it’s religious roots). In energy terms, it’s the Law of Attraction. No matter what way we choose to look at it, we arrive at the same place. What we put out there is what we will get back.

If you are struggling with your perspectives on the people in your life, and you want to move your darkness out of the way to get a clear picture—Living gratitude in your relationships is the path you want! Living gratitude is the path to an abundant life filled with love and light. We get what we focus on. Our perspective is our super power. We get to choose how we want to use it. Do we want to fuel the light or the darkness? I have a feeling if you are reading this series, or even just this particular day, you were brought here because you are being led to fuel your light.

“Gratitude helps us love well by keeping us focused on the beauty in our relationship and the person we love.”

-M.J. Ryan

Here’s how to get started:

6 Simple Steps to Living Gratitude in Your Relationships

  1. Get out your gratitude journal. Each day, write three things you are grateful for about each individual you are closest to. If you have more in that day, write more. You don’t have to limit your gratitude. FEEL IT!
  2. Write a list of the personality traits you like/love about the people you’ve invited into your life and/or energy field. Be conscious on how focusing your energy here makes you feel.
  3. Write about what this person has taught you about yourself—No matter what you have learned, becoming more aware is a blessing and something to be EXTREMELY grateful for. Once we see ourselves, we have the ability to change, grow, and expand. We can’t do that if we don’t see what holds us back and what launches us forward. Our relationships show us what we need to know about ourselves, and it doesn’t matter if the lesson comes from darkness or light. We projected out the energy to attract the lesson to us. Every lesson we get gives us a chance to move into the light or darkness within ourselves. Being grateful moves us out of any darkness.
  4. Give hugs that last more than 20 seconds when you are sharing your gratitude with a loved one. This may feel odd at first, but it is EXTREMELY beneficial to both of your energy fields. There is this exhale that happens—Feels like a release. It can be very energizing and/or freeing. It’s a hard feeling to explain because it is different for everyone depending on where they are in their own energy.
  5. For every one thing that annoys you about a person, come up with three things that make you grateful about their behavior, choices, who they are, and/or how their actions or words to help you. You can make this fun too. If it makes you laugh, it’s cleansing that toxic energy out of you. Enjoy the process.
  6. Share your gratitude every chance you get! You are not entitled to anything. What a person gives to you is a gift to be grateful for. When you understand and appreciate that, you are living gratitude in your relationships. There is a saying that I love, Expectations are future resentments waiting to happen.

As I’ve said throughout this entire series, you are responsible for your feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, reactions, and responses. You ARE NOT responsible for theirs. Your job is to keep your energy clean and full of light. If deep down inside they want to shine their light too—They will! If they want to be stuck in their own darkness—They will! You don’t need anybody to do anything in order for you to choose living in gratitude with him/her.

Living gratitude is a choice we make for ourselves to see clearly, like I said before if the person is stuck in their own darkness, I will give you tools to protect yourself while continuing to live in love, abundance, and light in the upcoming days.

We have to focus on cleaning up or own energy. Once we do that—MIRACLES HAPPEN! We only recognize them when our energy is in the right place to see them unfold in front of our eyes. I’ve watched relationships completely shift. I’ve seen people come in and others leave. I’ve seen the blessings of Divine timing. I’ve seen relationships on the verge of death be brought back to life. SO MANY BLESSINGS come from living gratitude in our relationships. The question is what do you want your energy to be on lack or abundance? Which one feels better? If you can answer those questions then all you have to do is make the choice to live in that energy! The energy you put in is the energy you will get back. Your relationships deserve the best you. It will help you see the best them. How beautiful is that? We have to want to live here and be willing to put in the work in order to see the blessings that come from living gratitude in our relationships. It really is our choice. Be empowered to do the work you need to do in order to change your life.

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Continue reading “90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 80 – Living Gratitude in Our Relationships”

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 79 – Committing to Healthy Communication

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 79: Committing to Healthy Communication

Dear Self,

I’ve had plenty of experiences in my life engaging in toxic communication. I’ve seen and experienced the havoc that communicating in darkness creates. I no longer want to contribute to the toxic energy that creates more hate and separation. I want to communicate from a loving place. My intention is to understand the views of others so that I can see clearly where they are coming from. If I don’t understand, that means I haven’t asked enough questions to gain understanding. Whether I agree with their perspective or not, I want to make sure I’m seeing the person in front of me as clearly as I can. I want to see where their perspectives of love and fear are coming from. I want to share from a place of love, strength and hope.

I’m committed to speak and listen with compassion, empathy, and the intention of learning from the person I’m communicating with. My goal is to be aware of where I’m taking my feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, and actions on this journey of communicating with others in the healthiest way possible.

I will take responsibility and show gratitude for their place in my life and let them know how their words and actions affected me without blaming or making them responsible for what is going on inside of me. I’m responsible for my feelings and choices!

Living this way makes me feel empowered. I’m living life instead of life living me. I love learning about people from all different perspectives of truth. My heart is filled with more joy, peace, and compassion when I can see how many ways there are to experience love. No two people are exactly alike and I want to celebrate that by learning as much as I can about the people I’m interacting with.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I grateful for the opportunity to communicate from a loving place.
  2. I’m grateful for getting to learn about others and how their perspectives of truth affect their lives.
  3. I’m grateful for all the different ways love can be expressed in different relationships, homes, lifestyles, cultures, religions, and countries.
  4. I’m grateful to my loved ones for helping me grow in my understanding.
  5. I’m grateful for the strangers who come into my life and share a piece of their life with me.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s  Installment: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 79 – Healthy Communication Tools

This include 10 Healthy Communications Tools to help ensure the best communication possible.

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 79 – Healthy Communication Tools

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 79: Healthy Communication Tools

Before I ask you to sit with me,

I must be able to sit with myself.

Before I ask you to accept my pain,

I have to accept the pain myself.

Before I ask you to love me,

I have to be MADLY in love with myself.

-C.Thoth

In order to keep our internal homes clean for visitors (Day 74), healthy communication is key. We learn so much about ourselves by how we communicate with others. Our communication skills show us if we are in-line with our intentions of love and light, or if we are connected to our own darkness. If we are coming from a place of darkness (fear, blame, shame, hate, vengeance, ignorance, prejudice, AGAINST, name-calling, yelling, etc.), we are incapable of having healthy communication with others. We will bring toxic energy into the communication. Our intentions will be aligned with fear (darkness) instead of love (light). Having healthy communication with others is about us staying in our light and sharing it with others. We have the choice to bring light or submit to darkness.

When the person we are communicating with brings their light, and we bring our light, even in the disagreements there will be light. Both parties can connect even with differing perspectives of truth. The connection is through love, peace, and joy. When we stand for love and light, we are attracted to people who also stand for the spreading of love and light. Communication becomes so much more interesting when people start enjoying learning about different perspectives of truth, instead of condemning them. We can do this in our intimate relationships as much as we do it with individuals from across the world who are strangers to us. Our openness to gain understanding of where others are coming from spreads light in our homes and in the world around us.

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”

-Tony Robbins

10 Healthy Communication Tools

  1. Be aware of where your energy is. Are you communicating from a loving place or a fear-filled one? It can’t be both. If your thoughts are confused, slow down and sit in your awareness before you speak.
  2. Speak from a loving place. If you want the best communication, make sure you are speaking in terms of solutions (love/light), not problems (fear/darkness). With fear we get stuck in our own darkness and others are more likely to engage in theirs if that is where we are.
  3. Know your intentions. Be clear of what your intentions are with the person your communicating with. If you’re not clear, they won’t receive you clearly.
  4. Express your feelings. Speak in terms of I feel ____________ when you did _______________ or do ________________. This communicates your feelings without BLAMING and or making someone responsible for your feelings positive and/or negative. Another person isn’t responsible for making you feel anything, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not healthy to let them know that particular actions and/or words bring up specific feelings in you. Unless the person is unhealthy and sick, most likely they didn’t intentionally mean to cause you pain. Only when we are in our own darkness do we intentionally cause other people pain and suffering (we will be discussing that in the days to come).
  5. Listen from a loving place. When we listen from a loving place, we are adding our light to the exchange. This doesn’t mean the other person won’t stay in their darkness if that is where they are, but we don’t add to it. When we add to the darkness, we put ourselves into the darkness. Our light is dimmed and we no longer see clearly.
  6. Speak in perspectives of truth. Each individual has his or her own perspectives of truth (Days 42-46). When we can communicate clearly from this place, we don’t have the expectations of others being exactly where we are and to understanding our point of view. We don’t communicate in terms of I’m right and you’re wrong. Instead, we say this is where I’m coming from
  7. Listen in terms of perspectives of truth. The goal is to understand where the other person is coming from. Remember they are writing their own story. Listen for what their story about themselves is saying. Is what they are saying coming from perspectives of love or fear? How are those perspectives making them feel? How are their perspectives effecting communication with you?
  8. Take a break when needed. If communications gets challenging, take a minute to re-center yourself if needed. Go to the bathroom and take some deep breaths, align with your light and intentions, and pray for the words to help you communicate clearly.
  9. Agree to disagree when needed. Remember you are each speaking and listening from your own perspectives of truth. You can simply let the other person know if their perspectives are bringing peace to his or her life, you are happy for him/her. If you are aligned with your own energy and intentions, your perspectives are bringing you a sense of calm no matter where the other person is.
  10. End communications on a note of gratitude. It doesn’t matter how the communication went—You learned something! You may have learned beautiful things about a person where light connected to light, even if some of the perspectives were different. You may have learned where you still have work to do on your own dark corners, which awareness is a thing to definitely be grateful for. You may have learned about perspectives of truth led by fear that you can be grateful that you don’t believe because you see the negative effects they have on a person’s thinking. There is ALWAYS a place for gratitude.

Remember to enjoy the journey! We aren’t going to do this perfectly. We are all learning to be the best we can. We can only do this journey one step at a time.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff  ©2019

Need more inspiration? Read 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 79 – Committing to Healthy Communication

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 77 – Giving Without Giving Myself Away

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 77: Giving Without Giving Myself Away

Dear Self,

I AM! I exist, so whatever title I take on is not my identity. If I lose any of my titles I don’t lose the fact that I still AM. My connection to the Divine Energy rests in the place of I AM. I AM is right here and right now in this moment. When I’m in this place, I give from a full tank, a full well—A place of abundance. I’m not giving to feel complete in some way. I’m not using my giving as a way to fill a void, to get something that I want, or to get into a beautiful afterlife. I give from a loving place, which is how I choose to follow the path laid out by Spirit. I give from a loving place inspired by stories of others who have given from a loving place.  I give from a loving place because it is what lights up my soul.

The black hole that is created by lack is not where my energy rests anymore. I’m not anyone’s doormat. When I stay in the present moment, in the place of I AM, I can see and feel when it feels right to give and when it doesn’t. I make conscious choices because my head is where my feet are.

Now, when I give—I feel energized! The process of giving isn’t taking away my energy like it used to when I gave from a place of lack. I can only give from the place of I Am if I do the work to stay in the energy. This is a daily commitment to being honest with myself. I take the time to love myself and show myself the love and respect that I deserve. Only when I do that am I not giving myself away.  I’ve taught the people how to treat me, and I trust that whoever comes into my life has a purpose for being there.

I give without giving myself away because I’m willing to take responsibility for my choices. I accept my past. I’m not confining myself to a prison sentence because I don’t feel worthy because of my past mistakes. They were apart of my learning process and I’m stronger because of them. The life of lack and darkness was depleting. I no longer make the choice to do that to myself anymore.

In every moment I AM exactly where I’m supposed to be, learning what I’m supposed to be learning, teaching what I’m supposed to be teaching, and living like I’m supposed to be living. The more I live within this moment the more conscious I am of what I’m choosing to give my energy too.

With this journey I’ve learned to be very patient with myself. If I don’t react from a loving place, it’s just an opportunity to learn and grow. How I give is a reflection of where I am inside. My honesty is critical for not giving myself away!

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for feeling abundant.
  2. I’m grateful for my ability to give from a loving place.
  3. I’m grateful for my commitment to self-care.
  4. I’m grateful for I AM.
  5. I’m grateful for the tools I have to be A BETTER ME.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Here’s a link to Today’s A Better Me Message: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 77 – How We Give Without Giving Ourselves Away Get 11 Steps to Giving Without Giving Yourself Away.

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 73 – Constructing My Self-Care Regimen

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 73: Constructing My Self-Care Regimen

Dear Self,

I’m taking the time to construct my self-care regimen by going through what I use to help me in different areas of my life. Once I’ve done this, I will figure out how to make time for the tools on a daily basis to continuously help me appreciate and improve my life and my relationships with others.

  1. How am I taking care of my connection to my spiritual life and beliefs? I take time to connect everyday with my gratitude with prayer, gratitude lists, free writing, letter writing, meditation, listening to music, and/or embracing nature. I also connect to other’s in my spiritual community.
  2. How am I taking care of quieting my mind? I use meditation, yoga, nature, breathing exercises, mindfulness meditations, get enough sleep, listen to instrumental or chanting music, and/or practicing presence
  3. How am I taking care of accepting myself in the mirror? I use positive self-talk, affirmations, letter writing, and/or gratitude for what my body does for me.
  4. How am I taking care of my body and organs? I get enough sleep, yoga, dance, walking, drinking lemon water in the morning, water throughout the day, drinking fruit/vegetable smoothies, eating nutritious foods, occasional cleanses, and/or quieting my mind to listen to what my body needs. I also write love letters to my body for loving me and taking care of me on my journey.
  5. How am I checking in with my perspectives of truth (Days 42-46) to make sure they are working in my life? If a perspectives cause me pain, worry, anxiety, depression, fight or flight response, rage, and/or vengefulness, I question what I believe and come up with different ways I can think about the situation. I write letters to help me write new stories. Then I practice applying new perspectives of truth that bring me more peace.
  6. How am I showing myself love? I practice self-care regularly, do things I love to do, get enough sleep, practice positive self-talk, give myself quality time, write myself letters, and take care of my body, mind, and soul.
  7. How am I showing myself respect? I take care of my mind, body, and spiritual self. I have healthy boundaries with others. I honor the person I am. I do the best I can in each moment. I put the oxygen mask on myself first, then I assist others.I take time to breathe. I write myself letters.
  8. How am I investing in my quality time with myself? I go for walks in nature, watch sunsets, write from my heart, do yoga, read, and/or dance.
  9. How do I feed my mind? I read, research, solve puzzles, come up with creative solutions, talk to people who believe differently than I do, and/or try to understand something I didn’t before.
  10. How do I practice presence? I meditate, focus on spots in nature, actively listen to the people I’m with, enjoy what I’m doing, practice mindfulness, or live gratitude.
  11. How do I live gratitude? Write gratitude lists, practice seeing gratitude in day-to-day activities, use gratitude in challenging situations, look to nature with gratitude, look at the love in my life,nd/or meditate with a guided meditation focused on gratitude.
  12. How do I take care of myself in the presence of other’s darkness (fear, anger, rage, resentment, jealousy, envy)? I remind myself, I don’t have to engage in the energy that they are. I take space to strengthen my own energy. I pray for protection from their dark energy. I pray for them to find some light. I pray for guidance in how I communicate with the person if I have to. I take deep breaths to stay calm and peaceful. I laugh with friends. I write letters that I don’t send to properly process what is going on inside of me.
  13. How do I take care of myself in the presence of my own darkness (fear, anger, rage, resentment, jealousy, envy)? I pray, write in my gratitude journal, take deep breaths, practice mindfulness to quiet my mind, write letters of encouragement to myself,  walk, and/or DANCE.
  14. How do I take care of myself when I’m feeling depleted? I get rest, quiet my mind, do yoga, write something inspirational, write letters, sit outside, make time to play, and/or spend time laughing with friends.
  15. How do I take care of myself when I’m feeling a lack (loss, grief, disappointment)? Write down as many things I can be grateful for as possible! I question the perspectives of truth I’m engaging in and I write out as many positive perspectives I can look at instead. I write letters about how I’m abundant in my life. I focus on love instead of grief, opening doors instead of closing ones, and change instead of stagnation. I also pray and work to connect with Source energy.

With this list, I will take the items that can be used to handle multiple areas and work them into my daily self-care regimen. I will look at where I use some of the tools to take care other items on the list and be conscious of where my head is to see how I can best serve myself in the moment. I know I have the tools to live my best life.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful that I have the tools to live my best life.
  2. I’m grateful for my realization of how to better manage my self-care.
  3. I’m grateful for having the time to invest in my own care.
  4. I’m grateful for my ability to help others when I’m taking care of myself.
  5. I’m grateful for how I feel when I take care of myself.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Side note: This letter is not edited intentionally. This list isn’t about being grammatically correct; it’s about just writing out tools however they come out. You can add to sections, delete, and add some more. You want to see the overlap in what you can do on a daily basis to handle multiple items of self-care. Those are the ones you want to implement first.

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 73 – Constructing A Self-Care Regimen

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 72 – Honoring My Most Important Love Affair

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 72: Honoring My Most Important Love Affair

Dear Self,

With this letter, I’m writing my vows to you. You deserve the ultimate love story and I know that I can give it to you. Here are 10 promises I vow to you:

  1. I promise to love you mind, body, and soul at all time because we are lifetime partners and you deserve the greatest love affair.
  2. I promise to respect you and the journey you are on because you are responsible for any feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, and reactions that come from you.
  3. I promise to honor the time that I have with you and be present to your needs, because I know your time is valuable.
  4. I promise to protect you from situations that aren’t in your best interest, because you are valuable.
  5. I promise stand up for you when you need a voice because your voice is important.
  6. I promise to explore and go on adventures with you because I know that is what you love to do.
  7. I promise to take steps to follow your passions because they are part of what makes you shine.
  8. I promise to honor your spiritual path because connecting to service through spirit feeds your soul.
  9. I promise to provide your body nourishment because this will be our vessel for this lifetime of learning, love, and growth.
  10. I promise to take the time to slow down and be mindful to nourish our relationship because only through the strength of our relationship will others learn how to treat us.

You and the Divine Source of ALL love are the only two lifetime partners I will ever have. In order to live the best life, I have to show this world the best I’m capable of being and all that starts with my love for you. My light only shines as bright as the love I have inside. I will sabotage any love that isn’t as strong as mine is for you, so these promises not only ensure I live this best life with you, these promises will help me shine my light bright for the world around me. The brighter my light, the more love I’m able to give and receive from others. So with this letter, I fully commit to our love affair. You and the world are worth it!

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for the relationship I have with myself today.
  2. I’m grateful for the knowledge that I’m worthy.
  3. I’m grateful for the opportunity to make today better than yesterday.
  4. I’m grateful for the love I’m capable of giving and receiving to/from others.
  5. I’m grateful for being a life partner with the person I am today.

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 72 – Having the Most Important Love Affair

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 71 – Living Gratitude

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 71: Living Gratitude

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living EVERY minute with love, grace, and gratitude.”

-Denis Waitley

Living gratitude is it! It is the way we’ve dreamed of living without ever knowing it. Living gratitude is about taking anything we are given, any challenge, any illness, any trauma, any joy, and any relationship, and any material item and finding the blessings and appreciation for the experience, person and/or thing. When we live gratitude our energy shifts and creates more room for receiving and giving. The blessings are countless when we live gratitude on a daily basis.

I’ve spoken a lot about gratitude throughout this 90-Day A Better Me Series. If you’ve been keeping up with the series and started the gratitude journal that was brought up in Part II, you are already seeing shifts in your life. If you have started being grateful for your body like was mentioned on Day 69, just connecting to the material is you planting the seed, however much you nurture that seed is an indicator of how it will grow. I see gratitude like the sprawling banyan tree. If you want the tree to drop roots and spread, you make sure the energy isn’t getting going to areas that will make the treetop heavy and not sprawl. You clean up some of the heavy weight up top so the tree will drop down roots and spread.  Soon the tree will be so big that is will take over. You have to MAKE space!

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Each day since writing the gratitude section in Part II, I’ve been adding 5 things to be grateful for in the 90-Day A Better Letters Series. I know the power of gratitude! Once we learn to start focusing on gratitude on a regular basis it becomes easier and easier. I can sometimes write pages of gratitude in just one day. The more I live gratitude, the happier I AM. Writing it down helps us to keep our minds focusing on putting our energy into the right place, but living gratitude is what happens after we can write pages of things to be grateful for daily.

Living gratitude is making the choice in each moment to see gratitude. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten angry about something, then I thank God for showing me the areas of myself that I need to give attention to. I’m grateful for my mistakes. I’m grateful for others who show me their dark side, because it shows me where mine is. I’m grateful for the person who cut me off, because not hitting him meant that I was paying attention. I’m grateful for the person going slow in front of me, because it shows me where my head is. This doesn’t mean I 100% of the time react perfectly, it means I learn from my reactions and I’m grateful for the learning experience.

The beauty of living gratitude is what happens to those things in our lives that bring us joy—They EXPAND! The joy in our hearts fills us to the brim with AWE! Tears pour out of our eyes we are so full. We’ve made space for magic, abundance, blessings, learning, and Divine Energy to work in our lives.

It is not my business how anyone practices their spirituality as I’ve said before, but nothing makes me feel more connected to the Divine as living gratitude does. I feel like I’m connecting on a level of energy that is extremely pure and authentic. I feel God’s love running through me and I can feel my light shining out into the world.

Living gratitude lights our paths for us. We can see clearly when our energy is functioning on a higher level. We aren’t blinded by our own darkness. We are grateful for our dark and our ability to shine light in any dark corner we still have.

How Start Living Gratitude

  1. Start by writing in a gratitude journal daily. No, it’s not enough to just think it. Write as much as you can think of each day. Some days may have five things and other days you may find a hundred things, just take the time and really put your energy behind what you are writing.
  2. Practice living gratitude with whatever is challenging you. This is fun. It can be in traffic, in your relationships, in your job, etc. Just practice gratitude until you are literally laughing out loud at what you are coming up with.
  3. Share your gratitude with others. Make sure you are letting anyone who touches your life know how grateful you are. This can be fun to do with wait staff, cashiers, customer service reps, family, friends, and romantic partners. Just watching how your gratitude affects others is a truly amazing thing. Remember some people who work at toll booths, subways, trains, airlines, customer service, etc., may not hear that people are grateful for their service all-day long. Your gratitude can make a huge difference.
  4. Write down your experiences of showing gratitude. How did showing gratitude affect you and the people you showed it to? Did you notice if that person’s attitude shifted and affected the next person they dealt with? The more details, feelings, and passion you can add, the better! Connecting to the experience helps our brains to put more focus on that area.

Following these steps will help you start living gratitude, but if you don’t do the work, don’t expect the results. I hear people tell me time and time again that they want their lives to be different, but then they don’t do the work so they end up falling into the same unhealthy patterns. The only way to break the old unhealthy patterns is to create new ones to fill the space. That means we have to decide where we want to put our energy and commit to the life we want. Gratitude is the path to a life filled with abundance. There is no lack in gratitude. We always have everything we need right in this moment. Living gratitude is about embracing that.

Challenges are still going to happen and often it’s what knocks people off of the gratitude path. We get a taste of how good it gets, then a challenge comes up and we say, living gratitude obviously doesn’t work for me. The good stuff is practice for the challenges. If we stay the course, and stay open to learning from our challenges, we find the blessings. The chaos and drama periods of our lives become shorter and shorter, not always because the circumstances change— We change!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 71 -Living Gratitude In My Daily Life

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 70 – Doing What I Love

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 70: Doing What I Love

Dear Self,

You are just as important as all of the people I serve, so I’m honoring our journey by committing to do things I love daily. I want move through life with the energy of doing what I love to do. I know that by doing this, I will manifest more of what I love and will attract others around me who share my passions. There is no good reason not to spend time doing what I love to do daily. I know I might not be able to everything I love in one day, but I will commit to doing something I love EVERYDAY!

Here is a list of things I love doing:

  • Dancing to music with positive messages
  • Writing
  • Walking around the lake to look at the birds gathering at the island at the center of the lake
  • Nature walks and hiking off-trail
  • Going to the dog beach with my dog
  • Laughing
  • Yoga
  • Quality time with my family
  • Quality time with my friends
  • Quiet time to meditate and quiet my brain
  • Helping others discover their best selves
  • Eating flavorful foods
  • Spending Time Communicating with the Divine

With this list there is no excuses!  I can even add more things I love, because as I engage in this energy, more space will open up. I know if I don’t make time for doing the things I love, it’s because I’m not on my priority list and when I’m not on my priority list, things fall through the cracks. So, why not? I deserve my own time! The people I love deserve me to be operating as the best version of myself too.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful that I can MAKE time to do the things I love.
  2. I’m grateful for the energy I feel when I’m doing the things I love.
  3. I’m grateful for the joy that I feel when get to share my love with others.
  4. I’m grateful for today as an opportunity to do what I love to do.
  5. I’m grateful when I notice when it’s a good time to do what I love.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Are you doing what you love? 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 70 – Doing What We Love