90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 75 – Being Present with the People We Invite Into Our Lives

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 75: Being Present with the People We Invite Into Our Lives

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. People know themselves much better than you do. That’s why it’s important to stop expecting them to be something other than who they are.”

–Maya Angelou

We blind ourselves to see the people we are with when our focus in on the past and/or the future. We don’t see the person they are showing us. So much information is given in the moment. It’s the actions right now, not the promises of any unforeseen future that matter. If we allow people into our physical and internal lives, the best thing we can do for ourselves and the relationship is to be conscious in each moment we are with them. Sometimes we find that person doesn’t fit into the internal life we are working on living. They may have just meant to come in to show us a lesson, then leave. A person won’t leave our internal home until we shut the door. They will linger around stirring up lessons because we didn’t learn them when they were physically in our lives. Have you ever hung onto an unhealthy relationship for a lot longer than the relationship was actually about of your life? This relationship could be with a family member, friend, romantic partner, community member, boss and/or coworker.

“You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.”

-Tony Gaskins

When we are present with the people in our lives, we can consciously make choices that show that person how to treat us. We don’t lie down in front of them for them to wipe their feet on us, because we know we are not doormats. We have to be present with others and with ourselves to see how we are allowing others to treat us. If we love and respect ourselves, remain present, and stay mentally conscious, we will be able to respond in a way that is healthy for us.

“You silently teach others how to treat you by how you treat yourself. Move yourself up your priority list immediately.”

– Lisa Marie Rosat

The reason I have Part I, II, and III of the 90-Day A Better Me Seriesis that it take us being and doing better before we can be treated better by others and treat others better. Only then can we be conscious with each person in each moment we are interacting. This is not a process that happens over night.  We will get the exact experiences we need to help us learn, grow, and expand our consciousness. Each person who comes into our physical lives serves a purpose. Each person we invite into our internal homes gives us our greatest lessons and blessings. We bring our light and darkness to the forefront through our exchanges. If we become aware and present— We learn, grow and expand our abundant lives!

10 Ways to be Present with the People We Invite into Our Lives

  1. Stop attaching to promises of the future.
  2. Actively listen to what the person is doing and saying—Are the two even matching up? Remember, they are showing you who they are.
  3. Let the past go and see the person who is standing in front of you. People can and do change, but only as much as they want to. The same goes for you!
  4. Show yourself love, so that you are treating yourself the way you want to be treated by someone else. When the energies match up—You will be consciously showing them how to treat you in each moment.
  5. DON’T EVER neglect your self-care! If you do, it will be hard for you to be present enough to see the person in front of you.
  6. Don’t expect others to do what you are not doing for yourself. You are the example they will follow in any given moment.
  7. Don’t expect others to be more than they who they are. If you are unhappy with the person in front of you—Change your perspectives, feelings, thoughts, and actions even if that action is to walk out the door and shut it. You aren’t responsible for someone else changing; you are only responsible for yourself.
  8. Be conscious if you are shining your light (love) or your darkness (fear) into your interactions with others. This means you are conscious of where your energy is while your listening and speaking and that your actions in that moment are reflecting the energy you want to be contributing to the situation. This keeps you PRESENT!
  9. Ask yourself—What is the person I’m allowing into my life teaching me in this moment? What am I learning from how I’m feeling, thinking, believing, and acting? Is there anything I can change in this moment?
  10. Be honest about who you are! If you can’t be honest, that is not a healthy relationship to have in your life and it will only contribute to growing your own darkness. When we are present, we see who belongs and who doesn’t belong in our lives. You have to love yourself enough to embrace the person you are. The people who genuinely love you will stay. The ones who don’t will leave. You can save a lot of time and trouble by being honest in your interactions.

Enjoy the journey of presence!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 75 -Being Present With the People I Invite Into My Life

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 74 -Who Am I Inviting Into My Internal Home

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 74: Who Am I Inviting Into My Internal Home?

Dear Self,

I’m responsible for who I invite into my internal home, so it is my job to look at who I am inviting in. Just because I have an exchange with someone in the physical world, it doesn’t mean I HAVE to invite her/him in. I don’t have to let them have control over my feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, and reactions. I MAKE MY OWN CHOICES.

I commit to be conscious of how my feelings, thoughts, and beliefs about a person are inviting them into my internal home. I’m choosing for them to have an affect on my inner world. I’m allowing them to alter and move things not because of who they are in my physical world, but who I’m creating them to be inside of me.

I need to look at if my thoughts about this person are contributing to my feelings of abundance or lack, love or fear, compassion or judgment.  Is their presence in my home brightening my light or dulling it. Is it creating open door or locking doors? I’m I creating more walls in my home by having them there or am I creating an open concept where the energy just flows?

These are all questions I need to ask myself when I consider who I’m inviting into my internal home.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for the choice of who I allow into my internal home.
  2. I’m grateful for the awareness I have to see my responsibility and power.
  3. I’m grateful for the opportunity to investigate who I’m allowing in.
  4. I’m grateful for my ability to create light in any dark room in my home.
  5. I’m grateful for my consciousness.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 74 – Inviting Visitors Into Our Internal Homes

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 74 – Inviting Visitors Into Our Internal Homes

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 74: Inviting Visitors Into Our Internal Homes

“There are no accidents. People come in and out of our lives for a reason and where we end up is where we were destined to be all along.”

-Mandy Hale

People can walk in and out of our physical lives and never be invited into our internal homes. The people who come into our homes are ALWAYS invited. We choose whether or not to allow them to have space in our home. We do this with our feelings, thoughts, and beliefs about a person. We write them into our stories whether they are hero, villain, teacher, student, friend, or foe. We choose the space each person holds. We can also choose not to let them have any space at all.

“Invite people into your life that don’t look or think like you.”

-Mellody Hobson

The next few days the focus will be on these visitors and the places we create for them in our physical and internal lives. The process of becoming a better meis about taking our personal power back. We are responsible for who and what we allow to be apart of our inner worlds. We can’t control what others do or how they behave. We can’t save people from themselves. We only can show them our light or darkness. It’s up to them to do the work be in their light or darkness.

We can choose what effect we are going to let another person have over our inner worlds. If we don’t like the effect that is happening in the moment, we can take steps to change it without ever expecting the other person to be different than they are. That is the beauty of taking our power back.

We CAN give visitors seeds from our gardens. We CAN invite them into our internal homes.  We CAN ask them to leave.  We CAN learn from our experiences with them whether the experiences bring joy or pain. We CAN allow ourselves to love. We CAN allow ourselves to feel pain, grief, and sadness. We CAN change our minds! We CAN change our feelings! We CAN change our perspectives of truth! We CAN change how we act. We CAN change how we choose to react. WE HAVE THE POWER!

These things are apart of our journeys. Everyone has a purpose on this Earth. Whether a person makes it out of the womb or lives into their 100s. We are here to learn, teach, grow, and expand. We choose whether our expansion is from a loving place or a fearful one. Each person can teach and learn from a place of love or fear. We choose how we want to absorb these lessons into our internal homes or dilapidated shacks. We are the only ones with the power to change our lives. We have to decide whether to live life or to let life live us. Part of how we do that is being conscious of how we treat ourselves and the people we invite into our internal homes.

The energy we project out dictates the visitors we allow to enter our physical and emotional worlds. If we don’t like what is being manifested around us and what is coming back, we have to change the way we take care of our inner world. No one else has to do anything for us to feel different than we do in this moment. The only person who NEEDS to change if we aren’t happy—Ourselves!

Who are you inviting into your world? Keep reading!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 74 -Who Am I Inviting Into My Internal Home

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 73 – Constructing A Self-Care Regimen

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 73: Constructing A Self-Care Regimen

“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings you joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.”

-Jean Shinoda Bolen

In this 90-Day A Better Day Series, I’ve given a lot of suggestions about self-care. We each have to choose what items of self-care resonate with us, because a self-care regimen, routine, or ritual will only work if we are connecting to the process of doing the activity. I don’t know about you, but I’ve tried a lot and I mean a lot of things in my life because people told me it would make me feel better. It could be about how to practice my faith, eating, drinking, dieting, exercising, meditating, mindfulness, positive affirmations, lifestyle, prayer, gratitude, mindset, weight loss, etc. No matter how good something has worked for my life or anyone else’s, you have to come up with your own regimen. No two regimens will ever look exactly the same and not any two people doing them will get the exact same results. As I’ve said before, I don’t expect everyone to do what I did and get the same exact results, because each of us has our own unique journey. Here are a few examples:

  • One person drinks lemon water everyday and it improves their digestive health. Another person may have an adverse reaction from the acid in the lemon and have digestive problems because of it.
  • One person may use nature therapy to help them reach levels of mindfulness and peace within themselves. Another person’s fears may create so much anxiety that triggers fight or flight response.
  • One person does a hard-core exercise routine and she/he feels alive and energized. Another person may not like the feelings that come after that level of exercise, so it doesn’t benefit her/his overall well-being, because that feeling could be their body giving them a signal that that is too much.

A self-care program won’t work if you aren’t invested in doing it or it doesn’t feel right for you. I’ve gone through many regimens and I change them up if I don’t feel the effectiveness of a particular one anymore. What is important is that I give time to self-care. I do my best to trust myself to help me to figure out what I need at any given time, while making sure that my intentions aren’t blocking the results I’m looking to achieve. Numbing ourselves with drugs, alcohol, shopping, gambling, games, social media, binge watching, etc. isn’t apart of self-care. They are contributors to self-destruction. I’m not talking about moderation. There is a difference, and it is a fine line—Self awareness is KEY!

15 Questions to Help You Construct Your Personal Self-Care Regimen

  1. How am I taking care of my connection to my spiritual life and beliefs?
  2. How am I taking care of quieting my mind?
  3. How am I taking care of accepting myself in the mirror?
  4. How am I taking care of my body and organs?
  5. How am I checking in with my perspectives of truth (Days 42-46) to make sure they are working in my life?
  6. How am I showing myself love?
  7. How am I showing myself respect?
  8. How am I investing in my quality time with myself?
  9. How do I feed my mind?
  10. How do I practice presence?
  11. How do I live gratitude?
  12. How do I take care of myself in the presence of other’s darkness (fear, anger, rage, resentment, jealousy, envy)?
  13. How do I take care of myself in the presence of my own darkness (fear, anger, rage, resentment, jealousy, envy)?
  14. How do I take care of myself when I’m feeling depleted?
  15. How do I take care of myself when I’m feeling a lack (loss, grief, disappointment)?

“Self-care is how you take your power back.”

-Lalah Delia

This list can give you ideas of what to implement into your daily routines. Don’t overwhelm yourself with trying to-do a list of things that are all new all at once. Take some things you are already doing and then try a couple new things at a time. If they work for 90 days and you want to add some more, do it. If what you were doing doesn’t seem to fit, try something else. Just don’t beat yourself up if things fall off. Trust that you are getting exactly what you need to get in this moment. When you are open to take on more, you will MAKE the space to fit more in your life. Just keep caring for yourself. Don’t forget how important you are.  Everything in life will run much smoother if we are committed to our self-care.

Today’s Letter from A Better Me in the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 73 – Constructing My Self-Care Regimen will take you through my process of answering all the above questions. I highly suggest writing your own letter to yourself as a way of planting the seed to make sure it takes root.

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 72 – Having the Most Important Love Affair

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 72: Having the Most Important Love Affair

“The love affair you seek is with yourself.”

-Alan Cohen

Too many of us start searching for the romantic partner of our dreams before we become the partner of our dreams. We are going to get a partner who is as healthy or as sick as we are. We are going to stay with emotionally unhealthy partners until we get emotionally healthier. The way we get the partner of our dreams is by becoming everything we want to see in the person we are looking for. Then we realize that we don’t need them to be everything we once believed they needed to be, because they are not filling any hole in us. If we already have a partner and we aren’t happy, our partner isn’t the problem. Our problem is the lack of investment we are putting into the love affair with ourselves. Our current partners have the opportunity to grow when we do, but what they do is their business. Our business is committing to have a love affair with ourselves.

We are complete and he or she is complete. We simply decide to travel on this journey together. We also figure out that no ONE person can fulfill everything we want. Sometimes certain adventures are better suited to do alone or with friends. When we invest our time and energy in a love affair with ourselves—WE WIN THE JACKPOT!

“The first love affair you must consummate is the love affair with yourself. Only then are you ready for a romantic relationship.”

-Nathaniel Branden

I brought this topic up in Part II as an introduction to the work of becoming our own ideal partner. Now it’s time to do the work. Once we do this work, all other relationships in our lives begin falling into place whether they are with romantic partners, family, friends, colleagues, and/or strangers we come across. This love affair affects EVERY area of our lives for the better.  Now some people may leave our lives as we get better and healthier, God is doing for us what we can’t do for ourselves. We may not have wanted to cut ties, but if the person’s energy level doesn’t connect with our newfound energy. They no longer fit. Just imagine how magnets work. We are either brought together or pushed apart because of the energy being projected by both parties. This is NOT something to fight! Trust the process, sometimes it may help the other person to lift their energy, but if they don’t, those are that person’s life choices. Don’t let what other people do stop you from having this love affair.

The more we love ourselves, the more we will feel the love from our Creator. When we can feel our own love for ourselves radiating through us, we get a glimpse of the love that comes from Source energy. Our internal dimmer switch is turned up as we project our love out into the world.

I’ve been giving you steps along the way on how to get this love affair going. This whole journey of the 90-Day A Better Me Series is about the journey to loving ourselves, so that we can project that love out into the world. A better me is about being the best we are capable of being and living that journey. In Part I, I showed you what blocks us from having this love affair. In Part II, I showed you the door to this AMAZING love affair. Now, if you are ready, it’s time for you to take the steps to becoming the person you need most in your life to show you love, respect, loyalty, honesty, compassion, joy, fulfillment, abundance, adventure, faith, courage, strength, and hope—YOU! When you project this from the inside, you will see it in your relationship with God, you will project it into the world, you will manifest it in your life experiences, and YOU WILL ATTRACT IT BACK TO YOU! Remember, focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. The energy you put out is the energy you will get back.

“To love yourself is the beginning of a lifelong affair.”

-Mervyn Bana

7 Steps to Having the Most Important Love Affair

  1. You are dating yourself, anything you have EVER expected a partner to do for you, DO FOR YOURSELF. If you can’t do it for yourself, don’t expect other people to do it for you. It’s not another person’s job to complete us. It’s our job to complete ourselves. We write our stories. How do you want to be written?
  2. Make a list of each and everything you want in a partner. Then re-write that list as a To-Do List for yourself. Do you represent and project everything on that list? If you want someone to give you his or her time; ask yourself if you are giving yourself the time you expect someone else to give you. Then on your to-do list come up with ways to give yourself the time.  It’s important to go through and do this with each item. You are getting the recipe for the dream love affair with you.
  3. Check-in regularly with what you are projecting out. If you look on social media, entertainment, and mainstream media are you envious, jealous, bitter, and/or annoyed when you see love stories? Well that is the energy you are putting out, and those are NOT Love-based energies—they are fear-based. Are you projecting feelings of abundance (I have what I need) or lack (I don’t have what I need) into the world? Are you focusing on the love in the world or the fear in the world? Where are you putting your energy? When we are filling our feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, responses, and reactions with love, our energy is going to the right places.
  4. Take care of your body! It’s your transportation for this journey (Day 69)
  5. Do what you love to do! How better to celebrate the love you have for yourself than to do what you love and love what you do (Day 70)
  6. Live gratitude! What are you doing to live gratitude in your life (Day 71)?
  7. Fall in love with yourself! Nurture and care for the most important love affair that you will ever have.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 72 – Honoring My Most Important Love Affair

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 71 – Living Gratitude

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 71: Living Gratitude

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living EVERY minute with love, grace, and gratitude.”

-Denis Waitley

Living gratitude is it! It is the way we’ve dreamed of living without ever knowing it. Living gratitude is about taking anything we are given, any challenge, any illness, any trauma, any joy, and any relationship, and any material item and finding the blessings and appreciation for the experience, person and/or thing. When we live gratitude our energy shifts and creates more room for receiving and giving. The blessings are countless when we live gratitude on a daily basis.

I’ve spoken a lot about gratitude throughout this 90-Day A Better Me Series. If you’ve been keeping up with the series and started the gratitude journal that was brought up in Part II, you are already seeing shifts in your life. If you have started being grateful for your body like was mentioned on Day 69, just connecting to the material is you planting the seed, however much you nurture that seed is an indicator of how it will grow. I see gratitude like the sprawling banyan tree. If you want the tree to drop roots and spread, you make sure the energy isn’t getting going to areas that will make the treetop heavy and not sprawl. You clean up some of the heavy weight up top so the tree will drop down roots and spread.  Soon the tree will be so big that is will take over. You have to MAKE space!

IMG_2559

Each day since writing the gratitude section in Part II, I’ve been adding 5 things to be grateful for in the 90-Day A Better Letters Series. I know the power of gratitude! Once we learn to start focusing on gratitude on a regular basis it becomes easier and easier. I can sometimes write pages of gratitude in just one day. The more I live gratitude, the happier I AM. Writing it down helps us to keep our minds focusing on putting our energy into the right place, but living gratitude is what happens after we can write pages of things to be grateful for daily.

Living gratitude is making the choice in each moment to see gratitude. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten angry about something, then I thank God for showing me the areas of myself that I need to give attention to. I’m grateful for my mistakes. I’m grateful for others who show me their dark side, because it shows me where mine is. I’m grateful for the person who cut me off, because not hitting him meant that I was paying attention. I’m grateful for the person going slow in front of me, because it shows me where my head is. This doesn’t mean I 100% of the time react perfectly, it means I learn from my reactions and I’m grateful for the learning experience.

The beauty of living gratitude is what happens to those things in our lives that bring us joy—They EXPAND! The joy in our hearts fills us to the brim with AWE! Tears pour out of our eyes we are so full. We’ve made space for magic, abundance, blessings, learning, and Divine Energy to work in our lives.

It is not my business how anyone practices their spirituality as I’ve said before, but nothing makes me feel more connected to the Divine as living gratitude does. I feel like I’m connecting on a level of energy that is extremely pure and authentic. I feel God’s love running through me and I can feel my light shining out into the world.

Living gratitude lights our paths for us. We can see clearly when our energy is functioning on a higher level. We aren’t blinded by our own darkness. We are grateful for our dark and our ability to shine light in any dark corner we still have.

How Start Living Gratitude

  1. Start by writing in a gratitude journal daily. No, it’s not enough to just think it. Write as much as you can think of each day. Some days may have five things and other days you may find a hundred things, just take the time and really put your energy behind what you are writing.
  2. Practice living gratitude with whatever is challenging you. This is fun. It can be in traffic, in your relationships, in your job, etc. Just practice gratitude until you are literally laughing out loud at what you are coming up with.
  3. Share your gratitude with others. Make sure you are letting anyone who touches your life know how grateful you are. This can be fun to do with wait staff, cashiers, customer service reps, family, friends, and romantic partners. Just watching how your gratitude affects others is a truly amazing thing. Remember some people who work at toll booths, subways, trains, airlines, customer service, etc., may not hear that people are grateful for their service all-day long. Your gratitude can make a huge difference.
  4. Write down your experiences of showing gratitude. How did showing gratitude affect you and the people you showed it to? Did you notice if that person’s attitude shifted and affected the next person they dealt with? The more details, feelings, and passion you can add, the better! Connecting to the experience helps our brains to put more focus on that area.

Following these steps will help you start living gratitude, but if you don’t do the work, don’t expect the results. I hear people tell me time and time again that they want their lives to be different, but then they don’t do the work so they end up falling into the same unhealthy patterns. The only way to break the old unhealthy patterns is to create new ones to fill the space. That means we have to decide where we want to put our energy and commit to the life we want. Gratitude is the path to a life filled with abundance. There is no lack in gratitude. We always have everything we need right in this moment. Living gratitude is about embracing that.

Challenges are still going to happen and often it’s what knocks people off of the gratitude path. We get a taste of how good it gets, then a challenge comes up and we say, living gratitude obviously doesn’t work for me. The good stuff is practice for the challenges. If we stay the course, and stay open to learning from our challenges, we find the blessings. The chaos and drama periods of our lives become shorter and shorter, not always because the circumstances change— We change!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 71 -Living Gratitude In My Daily Life

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 62 – Clearing Space to Re-Create Our Lives

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 62: Clearing Space to Re-Create Our Lives

“The most important choice you make is what you choose to make important.”

-Michael Neill

We make room for what is important. Our priorities are how we dictate the time we are willing to commit to something. We have to decide how much this journey means to us. How important is living a quality life? Our words don’t mean anything, and our actions mean EVERYTHING when it comes to what we are willing to give to our journeys. There is no room for excuses. If you can’t make the time, you are saying creating the time not your priority.

“Telling yourself that you don’t have enough time for something is a lousy excuse because you NEVER ‘have’ time, you MAKE time!”

-James Malinchak

No more excuses! We have to be willing to MAKE the time re-create our lives or else we are saying, it’s not our priority. For me writing this 90-Day A Better Me Series has been an amazing experience about creating the time for my writing. I used to make excuses that I didn’t have the time to write EVERYDAY. Well, I’ve been writing two pieces or more for 62 days now. This series was important to me, so I made the time. I know how much focusing on this material does to improve my life. I’ve noticed huge differences in how quick I process through different challenges. I’ve also noticed all the blessings that have come with focusing my energy here. Since the gratitude section in Part Two, I’ve even implemented using the gratitude in my daily Letters from A Better Me portion of the series. Making the time to implement that has created so much more space for more things to be grateful for and it has been an AMAZING process even when I’ve had some interesting challenges in the midst of it all.

“Don’t waste your breath proclaiming what’s really important to you. How you spend your time says it all.”

-Eric Zorn

Clearing space to re-create our lives is a choice. A choice only we can make. Only we know whether or not we are ready to make the choice towards love or fear. If you are like me and you’re working on creating a peaceful inner world to contribute to a more peaceful outer world or you have been trying the same thing over and over and nothing is working to help you to find joy in the life your living, well clearing the space is an essential step.

We have to make room for the changes we want to see. This means we have to commit daily time to living our journey and doing the work required to transform our lives.

  • Where can you fit you into your schedule?
  • How important is it for you to be in your schedule?

If you want to change anything in your life, then you better move yourself to the top of your priority list. I’m always amazed how I am able to clear space for the things that matter to me and how much I can get done when I stop telling myself I don’t have the time. Being in our heads sucks up our energy to do the work that needs to be done in order to create the lives we want for ourselves.

If living our journeys is important, we MAKE the time!

The miracle that comes with this practice is once we put ourselves on the top of the priority list, things start shifting opening up space. This can be a little strange, because it may mean someone you spend regular time on moves out of your life, or plans change and get cancelled, or something like an accident on the highway slows us down, but these are all opportunities to make the time to our own journeys. What are you going to do with that time? Our energy can create miracles or blocks. Make sure the energy you are putting out is going to the right place.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 62 -I’m MAKING the Time to CREATE the Life I WANT Today!

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 61 – Rebuilding Our Lives on a Stable Foundation

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 61: Rebuilding Our Lives on a Stable Foundation

 “If the house is crooked and crumbling, and the land on which it sits uneven, is it possible to make anything lie straight?”

–Katherine Boo, Behind the Beautiful Foreversp. 254

This quote is where we began on Day 2: Understanding the Journey of Awareness. We spent Part One looking at all our blocks that kept our inner foundation unstable and kept us from being satisfied with the houses we created on the unstable land. Then in Part Two: The Journey of Perspective, we worked on fixing our foundations to make them stable and worthy of building on. We sifted through the fear-based perspectives and replaced them with the energy of love coming from the inside out. Now, we are ready for Part Three: Living the Journey. This is where we take action steps to build on this new foundation and create a house and garden that make us shine. The foundation we are building on now will grow and expand with us. Our houses no longer deteriorate because now we are AWARE of what creates the problems so we are able to fix them at the source before it takes down our house. We can choose to re-model our houses and/or re-frame them as time goes on. We are choosing our changes consciously.

Let’s check some boxes:

  • Awareness our fear-based thinking holding us back
  • Acceptance of our pasts
  • Acceptance of the unknown future
  • Consciousness about the perspectives of truth we are choosing to live by
  • Commitment to live in the energy of love
  • Commitment to live in gratitude
  • Ready to take action

Let’s start the process of rebuilding from our new foundation. Is our land going to be perfect? Not a chance! What we do have is tools to keep it maintained and get rid of any left over toxic muck as is comes up to the surface. Some of our fear-based perspectives of truth are buried deep down and they take longer to surface, but once they do we are ready for it. We are able to process the feelings, work through them and replace the old pattern with something that works better in our lives. Just remember this all takes time. Be patient! Our canvas won’t be complete until we have taken our last breath.

Rebuilding takes work. The more you want to change and shift, the more work you have to put in. No one is forcing you to build your house or create your garden on any time line, but here is the truth of it all. If you don’t do the work and keep up with it, the foundation will become unstable again and anything you try to create on top of toxic land will crumble, fall, and die. Now, when I say work there are instant perspectives of truth that will relate to what work means to you. I’m a believer in working smart. In my perspective working hard has a connotation of fear to it. If I don’t work hard, “I will fail” come into my mind the thought creates stress in my feelings, thoughts, and choices. In this mindset people can become workaholics and can neglect their well-being for the sake of working hard. My method is to work smart. For me, that feels better and causes me less anxiety and stress. It’s good to check-in with yourself on words and concepts to see how they make you feel, because it will affect the energy you put out into the world. If working hard fuels you with the right type of energy to go for it and doesn’t fill you with expectations and attachments related to fear, then use it. Whatever you need to do for you.

During this month we will be building on our foundations built on the energies of faith, hope, gratitude, and love. We will be creating beautiful gardens in our mind and committing to keep working on being the best we can be in each moment we are given.

Living the journey is about letting go of the thinking that keeps us from being present.  We start engaging in the energy that puts us where our feet are. This journey is about embracing the moment we are in, learning to slow down, and taking the steps we need to in order to create a reality that we want to be living in. We can find joy in a single step, hope in the shape of clouds, faith in the energy of Divine love, and gratitude for each breath we are able to take, step we are able to walk, sunset we are see, fruit we are able to taste, and feeling we are able to have. This is a journey about appreciating the moments we are given and letting that energy of gratitude take us into a reality better than we could ever imagine.

Since this section is all about the work, there will be no “Just for Today” section. You choose how much you want a better life and do the work you need to do to get it. If you do the work, your life will change. No one can do it for you. You have to decide.

So, let me ask you—Are you in?

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 61 – I’m Ready to Rebuild My Life

 

 

 

Blessings Are in the Love We Give and Receive

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Life has a funny way of showing us exactly what we need at any given moment. Sometimes, we don’t like the lessons and fight to keep things covered up, but when we embrace the moment of our deepest feelings, we grow and begin to see things on a whole different level. At least, that’s the way it works for me.

I’m in the midst of writing my first book. I’m faced with the hard-hitting topics of fear, anger, shame, blame, and judgment. Lessons have been popping up to show me, not only where I am, but how I’ve grown. My writing is a cathartic process for me. I don’t ever expect to come out of writing the same person as when I started. I must have needed some reminders about the power of love and compassion as I got through the sections of facing the parts of us that hold us back from experiencing a beautiful life we deserve.

This past month has been overwhelming for me. Some very important people in my life are at a transitional parts of their lives. I have been blessed with welcoming babies and on the other end of the spectrum, experiencing the thoughts and feelings as person I love is approaching the end of their Earthly journey. The circle of life is going on all around me and it has brought me to one very important place, blessings are in the love we give and receive. I have had the privilege of seeing love in action more times than I can count this month. I’m brought to tears just thinking about the outpouring of love and compassion happening around me.

I’m so incredibly grateful to all the people out there who are showing love and compassion instead of embracing the hate out there. I was in a hospital cafeteria recently, frozen in my decision making process. A kind employee took the time to help me find something to eat. Where I was in that moment, I couldn’t bare to make any decisions and felt like I was going to burst out crying at the thought of it. Her act of kindness helped get me through the day. When I came back the next day, the woman saw me and made the time ask and care about how I was doing. Loving energy makes a difference no matter who it comes from, a perfect stranger can change a life in just a small brief encounter. My experiences over a few days in the hospital showed me just how much love is out there. I was presented with opportunities to give love to others and to receive compassion and love in return. The best part was watching people all around me doing the same thing.

We are given so many opportunities where we can choose to show love and compassion or fear and hate. When we choose to focus on the love, we see more of it. When we choose to focus of the fear, we see more of it. Today, I’m choosing to focus on the amazing acts of love and kindness all around me.

Each person who comes into our lives brings gifts, even if they are disguised with a lot of drama, seek out the love and compassion in the situation. Even if where you are meant to show the love is to yourself, it is a beautiful gift. Be grateful for the opportunity to show yourself  the love and compassion that you deserve. None of us are perfect, we will make mistakes and we will grow or hide from consequences of our actions. Those are our choices. When we can see ourselves with a kind and loving heart, we will do the same for the people around us. We will feel the blessings of giving and receiving love.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

From A Loving Place

The World is Full of Good People: Focusing Our Energy On What We Want

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My daily routine includes scrolling my Facebook feeds of pages I’ve liked. All of these pages are there to surround me with the good energy I want in my life. I love seeing similar messages from different pages that inspire love, positive action, and moving people away from victim thinking. Every once in awhile, I will see messages that promote good people are hard to find… WHAT??!!! No, great people are easy to find if our energy is in the right place. If we appreciate the amazing people around us, more will continue to show up. If we tell the Universe that there are no good people, then we will be constantly seeking out the sick, unhealthy people to prove our point. We have to decide if we want the good people in our lives and acknowledge and appreciate that we have them. From the tellers at the bank, cashiers at check out, friends who reach out, we are responsible for recognizing them. If we are focused on the negative we will continue to get that check-out person who is more insulting than helpful.

This is the same for relationships, if we tell ourselves, there are no good men/ women, we will continue to put our energy into knocking people down, and attracting people to our lives that prove the point we sent out to the Universe. Keep the messages that you send out to the Universe clean. Embrace the feeling that the messages you send out are true. They will be, you choose if it is for your benefit or detriment. This is the Law of Attraction.

If we want better for our lives, we have to change the language we are putting out there. Every moment we spend knocking others down, we are taking time away from our own joy. Search out the good people in the world, put your energy there. They are not hard to find. Some sites are dedicated to showing people in their best lights. When we are ready to see the kindness in the world, it will start appearing all around us.

Most import, be kind to yourself, because you will have a harder time spotting it in the world if you are constantly knocking yourself down. You are worth more than that!!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff